"I don't believe I've ever seen a case like this. There are rumors that say that two people with corresponding Patronus shapes are meant to be. I never put much stock in it. But perhaps, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, you are more connected than you realize."

A Silver Doe and a Stag Marauder

Lily slowly blinked open her eyes, awaking from the strange but wonderful dream from the previous night. Instead of helping her sort out her feelings, last night's encounter with James had only left her dazed and confused. Lily hated being confused.

Just then, Lily realized what had woken her up. Someone was pounding on her bedroom door. Lily sat up in bed, but made no move to unlock it. She assumed it was James, and after last night (and her dream), Lily had no desire to see him, at least not until she could muck out what exactly she was feeling.

She felt a strange giddiness whenever she thought about him, and unlike previous years, she was actually enjoying his company most of the time. He was funny, and he could hold a conversation with her. Strangest of all was that if she thought about it, Lily really didn't want to avoid James. She wanted to see him, she wanted to talk to him, and she wanted to hold his hand…

Lily shook her head to expel these dangerous thoughts. She didn't need to be thinking about doing anything even vaguely romantic with James. If only he would stop banging on her door…

"LILY! It's me, open up!" a voice that was very familiar, and very much not James Potter, yelled at the door. Lily jumped up and hurried to get the door open for her friend.

Apparently Hestia was leaning against the door, because when Lily unlocked it and threw it open Hestia came stumbling into the room. She straightened herself out and glared at the redhead. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, locking your bedroom door?"

"I thought you were Potter."

Hestia raised her eyebrows and waggled them at Lily. "And why would James be bursting into your room very early in the morning?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "If you must know I had it locked from last night. James… well he… he explained some things to me and… and I… well it was all very confusing and I… I ran away and hid in here."

Hestia nodded, as if this were all a completely normal occurrence. "Tell me."

Lily shook her head. "That's what sucks Hestia. I can't. I can't tell you what he told me, because if I did… it would all be very bad for a lot of people."

"Tell me it's not illegal."

"I can't tell you anything. I'm sorry." Lily sat back down on her bed and hid her face in her hands. She hated keeping anything from Hestia. The two were best friends, and confided everything in each other.

Hestia sat down next to Lily and sighed, trying desperately to quell her curiosity. If Lily couldn't tell her something, then it must be serious.

Lily's head shot up. Well if she couldn't tell Hestia about James being an Animagus, she could at least let her know about the snogging. "Potter kissed me." She said, trying to sound nonchalant and not betraying the fact that her heart rate had sped up tenfold when she thought about the breathtaking kiss from last night.

Hestia didn't speak for a few seconds, and then laughed. "I'm sorry. I must have heard you wrong. For a second there I thought I was going crazy. I could have sworn I heard you say that Potter kissed you."

Lily nodded. "You heard me right. He kissed me. And I kissed him back."

Hestia blinked at Lily for a few seconds, her face slipping from laughter, to emotionless, to disbelief, and finally to disgust mixed with awe. "YOU WHAT?" She screamed, leaping off of Lily's bed in shock.

"I've already told you twice Hestia. Merlin, maybe you do need your ears checked."

"Don't you dare be cute with me, Lily Marie! And don't you dare point out that that rhymed! How could you? I thought you hated him! What the bloody hell? Has the world gone mad?"

"It hasn't gone mad. I haven't gone mad." Lily said calmly, trying to quiet her friend before James heard her. "He just took me by surprise, is all, and in the heat of the moment, I forgot it was him, and…"

"And you kissed him back. You snogged James bloody Potter! I thought you were going to hex his bits off if he tried!"

Lily blushed. "Well… given the circumstances I don't think I could have."

"So does this mean you've finally swallowed your pride and you're with him?"

Lily blinked. "No, of course not."

"Are you out of your mind? Why didn't you say yes?"

"What the hell? One second you're yelling at me for snogging him, and the next you're yelling at me for not being with him? Make up your mind Hestia!"

"It's one thing when you sneak out of the castle, he tells you some apparently 'life-altering news' that you refuse to share with me, and then snog the pants off of him. And then it's quite another when, after doing said things, you refuse to date him! He's mad about you Lily, can't you see?"

"I can see Hestia. Despite what you all think I can see that Potter likes me. But I don't know how I feel about him. He's been horrible to me for years…"

"Only because he couldn't figure out how to tell you he fancied you!"

Lily shot Hestia a look. "He's been telling me for seven years that he fancies me, Hestia. Haven't you noticed the things that tend to explode and the people that tend to get hexed when James is trying to get my attention? I don't respond that way Hest, you know that."

Hestia was gaping at her. "You called him James."

Lily blushed. "Well I'm sorry! I was in a perfectly good rant and you got me confused and… bloody hell!" She grabbed fistfuls of her hair and flopped backwards onto her bed. "He's been horrible to me for years, and then suddenly he's alright. He's talking normally to me, and not hexing people, and not teasing me or asking me out every time he sees me. And then the bastard has to go and actually make a rational argument about why we should be together…"

"Which you can't tell me, right?" Hestia cut in.

Lily nodded apologetically. "And I can't figure out how I feel about him. I should hate him, I know that. I should be able to hold a grudge. But then he does something really sweet, and I can't get him out of my mind. And I think, 'Maybe, maybe he's actually changed'. But I don't want to think that, because if he turns right around and goes back to his usual James Potter prattish self, then I'll feel horrible." Lily flipped over and buried her head in her pillow before letting out a scream that was severely muffled.

Hestia stroked her friend's hair sympathetically. "Come on Lily, get up and get ready, then we'll eat and you'll feel better. I promise I'll let you brood all day, and I'll keep Mary and Marlene away. Though I don't know about how I'll keep away Potter."

Lily groaned. "Today is not going to be good. But let Potter come around, I can deal with him." Lily said as she got up and headed into the bathroom.

"And by deal with him, you mean…?" Hestia called through the closed door.

"Completely ignore him and run away like a coward whenever he tries to talk to me, yes." Lily called back.

Ten minutes Lily came out, changed, refreshed, and feeling quite a bit better. "Alright, let's go get food and try to ignore Potter all day."

Hestia grinned, hooked her arm through Lily's, and said, "Just another day at the office." This succeeded in making Lily laugh.

They didn't run into anyone annoying (Potter or otherwise) the whole way down to the Great Hall, which was quite an unusual surprise. Maybe today wouldn't be as bad as Lily thought.

Her opinion changed completely when she got into the Entrance Hall and saw James pacing back and forth in front of the doors to the Great Hall, running his hands through his hair nervously. Lily ducked her head and kept walking, trying to hide behind Hestia. Needless to say, she was unsuccessful.

"LILY!" He called as he saw her and Hestia draw closer. He ran over to her and tried to step in front of her to block her progress. "Please Lily, talk to me. Just… tell me whether you want to kill me or not. Please, I couldn't sleep at all last night. It's killing me. Please Lily, just talk to me!" he begged, still moving and keeping himself in front of her.

Hestia put a hand on James' chest, pushing him away from Lily. Hestia stepped between the dark haired, bespectacled boy and the redhead currently using her body as a shield. "Look Potter, can't you just leave it be? She needs time to think, alright? So lay off for today."

James looked stung, but he backed off and let the two enter the Great Hall without further interruption.

James sighed. He understood why she ran off last night, really he did, but it didn't make it any easier for him. He had promised himself that if she rejected him he would give her up. He didn't know then that he had been lying from his arse, but it seemed so obvious now. He couldn't give her up. You didn't spend seven years loving a girl to just give her up in one night.

And besides, she hadn't actually turned him down, he reminded himself. When he had kissed her, she had responded, with just as much passion as he himself.

James didn't regret kissing her. It might have been too much to put her nerves through, but then again, it might be the only chance he ever had to kiss her. He'd be a fool to let it go to waste.

But he wanted to know. He wanted to know, point blank, straight out, whether or not Lily had any feelings for him. He couldn't deal with this torture, this maybe-she-does, maybe-she-doesn't thing any longer. It was slowly making him mad. Sure, he was half-mad to begin with, but he also blamed that on Lily.

The thing he was after right now was just an answer. A simple, "Yes James, I could, at some point in the foreseeable future, see having a relationship with you", or, "No James, thinking about snogging you makes me ill and I would rather have the Giant Squid's children then ever consider you". That wasn't too much to ask, was it?

He sighed dramatically again. He hated waiting, but if it meant possibly being with Lily, then he was willing to wait as long as it took. Sirius would kill him if he ever heard that thought. James could just imagine it, "What the bloody hell are you thinking, Prongs? You're in the best years of your life, you're seventeen! You can drink firewhisky and shag birds! What are you doing, thinking about settling down when you haven't even had time to sow your wild oats?" James had no idea what 'sowing your wild oats' meant, but he thought it sounded rather disgusting, and vaguely messy.

But the point was that James was willing to wait. He had worn his heart on his sleeve, Lily had seen it, and now the Quaffle was in her possession.

So after coming to the mental decision to wait it out and let her make the next move, James composed himself and strode into the Great Hall. He thought it would be fairly easy, just treat her like he had the first two years he had known her; completely ignore her and talk to Sirius instead, while remaining acutely aware of her presence close by. Hopefully he could cut out the blushing and stammering that accompanied any glimpse he got of Lily Evans in his first and second years.

But as he walked towards the rest of the Marauders, sitting right next to Lily and her friends (of course they had to be) James realized that it might be a bit more difficult than he had originally thought.

James took a seat in between Sirius and Marlene, and then immediately began to regret his decision. Of course, he usually sat right next to his best friend, that was nothing unusual, but his choice in seats had placed him directly opposite Lily. Every time he glanced up from his plate, his eyes were immediately drawn to her red hair and freckly face. And every once in a while, James got the feeling that as soon as he glanced up, her gaze snapped back to her food. Was she watching him as intently as he was watching her (and possibly quite a bit more furtively)?

James couldn't focus on eating, watching Lily, and talking, so he chose to skip the latter, instead focusing on getting as much food into his body. This turned out to be very difficult, because every time he saw Lily (which was more and more frequently, as the meal progressed) his mouth ran dry and he found it very difficult to swallow. His and Lily's silences did not go unnoticed by Sirius. James wished it had slipped by his very perceptive friend.

"What is the matter with you two?" Sirius finally asked, after getting fed up with the awkward pauses that broke through the conversation where James or Lily (or both) would usually fill in. "Did you snog or something?"

Everyone's eyes bulged at the twin blushes sweeping over the faces of the two Gryffindors. "You did, didn't you?" Sirius asked, awed. "You two snogged!"

"Shhh!" Hestia shushed him. "Do you want the whole bloody school to hear you?"

"I think Prongs wants the whole bloody school to hear! HEY EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! JAMES-MMPPHHHH!" he was cut off as James reached over and clamped a hand firmly to his best friend's mouth, effectively stopping his words.

A few people at the tables closest to them gave them weird looks, but considering it was James Potter and Sirius Black, they put it down to regular behavior.

"UGGHH!" James yelled in disgust, pulling his hand away and wiping it on his robes. "He licked me!" he said in outrage to a snickering Remus. "It's not funny Moony! Can't you control him?"

Remus shook his head. "No more than you can, and quite a bit less than Hestia can."

And sure enough Hestia, who was sitting right across from Sirius, had grabbed him by the ear and shook him. "You really need to work on your manners, Black! How rude can you get?"

Sirius shot her a wolfish grin. "Oh, a right side more than this. Shall I tell the lovely people of Gryffindor what exactly you can do with your tongue?"

Hestia flamed a brilliant shade of red that James had never seen before.

"What?" Lily hissed to the blonde sitting next to her. Hestia shook her head vigorously. "What the bloody hell is he talking about, Hestia?" Lily hissed at her friend. Hestia, if it was possible, went even redder.

Sirius, the bastard that he was, looked amused and pleased, rather than ashamed. Marlene was glaring at him, but he seemed not to notice.

Lily grabbed her friend by the upper arm and dragger her out of her seat and towards the Entrance Hall. "Wait!" Hestia called out, wriggling out of Lily's crushing grip and running back over to Gryffindor table. She grabbed her bowl of porridge and proceeded to smash it in Sirius' face. He came up spluttering, looking shocked and astounded.

Hestia glared at him and whispered, venomously, "You're a prat. I can't bloody stand you, Black." She then twirled on her heel and stomped out of the Hall, this time Lily had to run to keep up with her.

Sirius, porridge dripping from his face, turned to his laughing friends and said, "What did I do?"

Mary, sweet little Mary McDonnell, slid down the bed opposite Sirius and then leaned over the table to slap him on the side of his head. She hit him hard, and the SLAP resounded through the Hall, drawing even more eyes to Sirius' humiliating condition. "You're lucky all she did was shove porridge in your face. I would have castrated you." Mary growled, before getting up and stomping out of the Hall to join her friends.

Sirius wiped his face off and then turned to Marlene, the last one of the four girls to still be sitting at the table. She was glaring at him with an expression that could rival his mother's, on her worst day.

"Okay, seriously, what the bloody hell did I do?"

Marlene growled and reached her hand out. Sirius ducked, thinking he was going to be slapped again.

"Oh stop it, you baby. I'm getting some of this out of your hair." She wiped his hair with her napkin, a little rougher than necessary, and Sirius yelped.

"How did I make her so pissed?" He asked, now seriously confused.

"You're a bloody idiot, Black. I always considered you clever. I honestly had some sliver of respect for you. But you're a bigger prat than I thought. I was wrong about you, and I hate to say it. Is it true? Were you really hooking up with Hestia?" Sirius nodded. "Then you're an even bigger idiot. You just told your best friends, and hers, that the two of you have been getting up to something… let's say… not exactly Holy. You didn't consult her, you didn't tell her you wanted to tell them, and what's worse is that you brought it up as an attempt to humiliate her.

"You may not be aware of it Sirius, but you essentially just called Hestia a slag. You embarrassed her in front of her friends and her housemates, and it's going to take a lot to fix that. I thought you cared about her. I thought you wanted a relationship with her. And here you've been, hooking up with her for Merlin knows how long, and you throw it all away for the price of a joke." Sirius looked miserable, and horribly ashamed. He opened his mouth to try and explain himself, but Marlene held up a hand, stopping him. "I don't want to hear it Black. You dug you own grave, you can dig yourself out. And right now, I'm too bloody pissed at you to hear you speak."

She got up and threw her used napkin in his face. She turned to leave before stopping and turning around. "I hope it was worth it." And that was the last thing she said before she left the Great Hall in search of Hestia, who was bound to be very distraught.

James watched her go in awe. He knew that what Sirius had said was bad, and he would never think of saying something like that to Lily, but Merlin, this was worse than he thought. He turned towards Sirius, about to ask him a question, but he never got the chance.

Sirius was sitting, with his elbows on the table, his face in his hands, shaking. James didn't know how to react. It almost looked like Sirius was crying, but Sirius Black never cried, ever.

"Uhhh, Padfoot?" James asked nervously, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Sirius looked up, his eyes red, his face twisted with anguish, disbelief, and disgust at himself. "What have I done James? What have I done?" he buried his head in his hands again, and James just had to sit there and stare at him. Because he had no clue what to say to make his friend feel better. He didn't think anything would help.

Meanwhile, Lily and Hestia were in an empty classroom. After watching her friend storm out of there in a huff, Lily had followed Hestia's quick pace into an empty classroom. Hestia barely got inside before she proceeded to fire hexes everywhere. Lily quickly slipped back out of the classroom, but kept her face pressed to the glass; watching and making sure her friend didn't hurt herself.

Mary came running up, panting and out of breath, and asked, "Where's Hestia?" Lily gestured inside. Mary took a little peek through the glass and then grimaced. "Blimey, she's angry. What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. Where's Marlene?"

"I think she stayed behind to tell him off. I slapped him."

Lily grinned. "Good for you Mary. He deserved it."

After about another thirty seconds, Lily sighed. "Oh this is bloody ridiculous." She stuck her head in the door cautiously, and said, "Hest? Can you stop the target practice for a bit?"

Hestia quieted her string of hexes and curse words, and Lily and Mary slipped in. It was obvious that their friend was still fuming. "I hate him." Was the first thing out of her mouth.

Lily nodded. "He's a git."

"No, he's more than a git." Hestia said quickly, sounding a little crazy. "He's a prick, he's an arse, he's a bastard, he's a prat, he's a two-faced, slimy, cheating, double-crossing, backstabbing, dog-breathed, son of a bitch!" Lily and Mary only nodded along. "I can't fucking believe him! He had to go saying that about me, making me sound like a slag and telling all of you that we're together… but we're not together… I don't know what the bloody hell we were but we're definitely not it now!"

"So, what was that all about?" Lily asked quietly. "Are you really hooking up with him?"

"I was hooking up with him Lily, I'm definitely not going anywhere near him now! Oh he thinks he's so charming… yeah, well you know what, Black? You're not! Merlin! You know he's been asking me out constantly, even more frequently since we started snogging in broom cupboards. But I told him, I said I didn't want a relationship, least of all with him! I mean, he's Sirius Black! His shelf life for girlfriends is about the same as a banana! He's shagging a new girl twice a month, and I didn't want to be another faceless name on his list. So I told him no. But I still snogged him at least four times a week. I mean, can you blame me? He's mildly attractive, and I have needs, you know?"

Hestia yelled in frustration and shot her wand at a desk, causing it to splinter and crack. Both Lily and Mary jumped. Hestia had wreaked havoc on the room.

Just then Marlene stuck her head in the door. "You know how much I hate to do this to you lot, but we're going to be late to Potions if we don't get a move on, fast." She froze when she saw the destroyed classroom. "For Merlin's sake Hestia, what did the desk ever do to you?"

Hestia growled. "Don't be cute right now. I'm too bloody furious."

"Yes and the last thing you want is a detention from Slughorn. It'll just make you feel worse. Come on, we'll all help you fix this up, and you can think of new ways to hex Sirius' genitals later."

Hestia brightened a little bit. "That sounds like a bloody good time."

With the four seventh years working together, the class was back to perfect in about two minutes. They all left for the dungeons, none of them talking, all stuck in their own thoughts. The worst thing about the upcoming day, Lily realized, is that she had every single class with Hestia and the Marauders. Not only would that mean she had to spend the day with a pissed-off Hestia (which was never fun), but she would have to spend the day keeping Hestia from murdering the idiot Black, keep Black from begging and getting himself in bigger trouble with her blonde best friend, and try to completely ignore Potter throughout all of this. Though maybe she should team up with Potter, surely the two of them together could keep their friends alive and in one piece.

But she didn't know how she felt about him. She didn't know how she was going to try and mull that over. She couldn't ask for Hestia's help, because her friend obviously had other thoughts on her mind. Maybe Mary and Marlene would keep an eye on Hestia…

Lily shook her head. That wasn't an option. Best friends came before your own problems every time, not matter how serious your own problems were. Lily sighed. Doing the right thing sucked sometimes.

Thanks to Marlene they weren't late, and they got their pick of seats as far away from the Marauders as possible.

Potions was much the same as usual. Slughorn was his usual creepy self, Lily's and Hestia's potion was perfect, but that had very little to do with Hestia (because she was useless when she was brooding) and almost everything to do with Lily's ability to compartmentalize.

Because of their potion, they earned Gryffindor fifteen points, which put half of the Dungeon in a better mood (the Gryffindor half, obviously). Ignoring Potter in this class was extremely easy. She was sitting far away from him, he was behind her, and their potion could not be left unattended for even a minute, or else it may curdle and burn right through the bottom of the cauldron, as was shown by Walden Macnair. Slughorn just shook his head at the boy and kept on walking.

Slughorn asked the class to write a fifteen inch essay about each ingredient in the Felix Felicis potion, and exactly what horrendous thing would happen to you if you missed one ingredient and then drank the potion. This essay was not going to be easy, Lily knew already.

Their next class was Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. Usually Lily loved going to Transfiguration, because it was an interesting and challenging class, but today all Lily wanted to do was crawl into her bed and sleep, and possibly think.

Lily was getting more and more agitated as the day wore on. It was partially due to Hestia and her constant grumbling, the fact that Professor McGonagall had assigned them another essay, on top of the one she had already given them, how she couldn't get a single bloody second to herself to just think, and also how every time she looked up at lunch, James' eyes were there to meet hers. They were a wonderful hazel colour, a mix between green and blue, with little flecks of grey and gold in them… Lily shook herself and bent lower to eat her soup.

Hestia was miserable all through lunch. She didn't look up at all from her food, and when Sirius tried to talk to her, she whipped out her wand, shot a stinging hex at him, and stormed out. Lily looked down at her food sadly. She wanted to stay and eat, because she was exhausted, and that always made her hungry, but it was her duty as a best friend to follow Hestia. She knew Hestia would do the same for her. So Lily stood up and hurried after her friend.

Her next class was Defense Against the Dark Arts, which was Lily's second favourite class after Charms. Thankfully, Professor Krettleman only asked them to review previous spells today. Good, this was a class where Lily wouldn't have to think, and likely wouldn't get any homework.

But the most surprising thing happened after Lily had calmed Hestia down and they got to class, when James Potter walked in. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all headed to their usual seats in the back, but James headed for Lily. She was completely prepared to ignore him, but he didn't say a thing to her. Instead he placed a small bundle on her desk. His hand lingered near hers for a second longer than necessary, and then he was gone to the back of the classroom with his friends. Lily slid the bundle into her lap and opened it.

She unwrapped the napkin, and it fell open. Lily's stomach twisted and her heart melted a little. For there, sitting in that little bundle, were two sandwiches. James had brought her food, because he knew she'd be hungry after leaving lunch so early.

She turned around in her seat and caught his eye. He gave her a small smile, which she returned. Lily turned back around and ate her sandwiches while Professor Krettleman gave the instructions. Suddenly this day wasn't so bad.

Lily couldn't focus through Defense. Her mind kept flitting back to James. The time to think she had been craving earlier was suddenly available, but Lily didn't know what to think. James had just done yet another completely kind and sincere act for her, and now Lily was feeling like crap for treating him the way she was. He didn't deserve it, she now realized. James was a good person. He was a nice person. Whether or not that meant that she had any feelings for him… Lily still wasn't quite sure.

After a laughably easy Defense class, Lily and her three friends headed to Charms. Lily's stomach was in knots the whole way there, because she knew that she could not get out of avoiding James in this class, where they were partnered up. She would have to swallow her pride and talk to him. Hopefully she wouldn't have to talk to him about her feelings, because that was already going to be an awkward conversation, and the last thing Lily needed was to have it in front of the whole class and one of her favourite professors.

The four friends took their usual seats, Lily and Hestia at one table, Mary and Marlene at another right next to it, and waited for Professor Flitwick to start the lesson. Hestia's sour mood had improved slightly after lunch. It seemed like her anger was boiling down to a low simmer. Although Lily didn't know how her working with Sirius would turn out. If Sirius was smart (and valued his life) he wouldn't say a blasted thing to Hestia the whole time.

Flitwick came bustling in, and Lily sat up a little straighter. "Settle down, settle down, everyone take your seats! We have to work quickly today. I am very excited for today's lesson. Hopefully by the end, quite a few more of you will have mastered the Patronus Charm. Now hop to it!" And with that everyone split off into pairs and went into their own sections of the room.

Lily stood up and walked to the corner where she and James usually worked. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. She saw James headed towards her, a bit slower than usual, and when her eyes met his, her stomach started twisting oddly. She put it down as hunger, and tried to ignore the way her heart was picking up.

"Hey." He said quietly as he joined her.

"Hey back." She said.

James shuffled his foot nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "So… should we just focus on Charms for right now?"

Lily sighed in relief. A little part of her actually did want to talk to him, but the largest part was relieved that she would get to put it off a few more hours. "Yes, let's. I think you should try, considering you haven't managed it yet."

"Alright." He said, and focused in on the first broomstick ride he ever took. He was still using the same memory, because he felt like it would be strong enough, if he could just get his concentration right. "Expecto Patronum!" Again, silver mist shot from his wand, but nothing more. He swore under his breath.

Professor Flitwick came scurrying over, but luckily he hadn't heard James' use of profanity. "That memory doesn't seem to be doing justice, Mr. Potter. Tell me, what were you thinking about?"

"The first time I rode a broom."

"Oh no, that's not nearly good enough! You don't need to think about thrill, Mr. Potter. It needs to be joy, ecstasy, something that you've never felt in any other circumstance. It needs to fill you up, it needs to make you smile, and it needs to make you wish for that time, over and over again. Do you have any memories like that?"

"Well…" James blushed. "There is one…"

"What is it of?"

"It's…" James blushed again and glanced at Lily, unwilling to share something this personal in front of her. But he swallowed the lump in his throat, and said in a stronger voice, "It's Christmas, the year I turned eight. It was the first Christmas that both my Mum and Dad were there for. It's the only Christmas they've both been there for. We're sitting by the fire, on Christmas Eve, listening to the radio. I'm playing chess with Dad, and Mum is sitting on the sofa, watching us and smiling while we all drink eggnog. It's kind of boring, but… it's the happiest I've ever felt."

Professor Flitwick was giving James a sad smile, but Lily was stunned. She had no idea James had to spend his Christmases alone when he was a boy. She had no idea that the thing that made him happiest in the world was a chess game with his Dad while they listened to the radio. Lily felt her heart melt quite a bit more. She wanted to hug that little boy that James spoke of, the little boy with no one around on Christmas.

"Ms. Evans, perhaps you could give a demonstration, just to help out Mr. Potter?" Flitwick asked, and Lily nodded.

She focused all her energy into her happiest time, and said, "Expecto Patronum." Her doe burst from the wand and galloped around the classroom. It cantered to a stop in front of her, and then turned to look at James. It cocked its head to the side, as if it were evaluating him.

James cleared his throat and closed his eyes. He took a few deep breaths, before opening them and saying, very firmly, "Expecto Patronum!" Something huge and antlered burst forth from his wand and sped around the classroom, drawing quite a few gazes along the way.

Lily's breath caught in her throat. It was a stag, the very same stag that she had seen only last night, except this time it was silver, and ethereal, and glowing. Lily had to blink a few times. She had never seen something this beautiful. Even her own Patronus wasn't as awe-inspiring as this magnificent beast in front of her.

James' Patronus came trotting back towards him, but veered off towards Lily's silver doe, which she only just realized she was still conjuring. The stag, seemingly of its own volition, without James' guidance, nuzzled against Lily's doe, which responded in kind. Both teenagers stared at their Patronuses, unable to understand what was happening.

They both jumped when Flitwick spoke. "This is… quite remarkable. I can hardly believe I'm seeing something like this, happening in my own classroom."

"I'm sorry, but what do you mean, Professor?" James asked, completely nonplussed.

"I don't believe I've ever seen a case like this. There are rumors, of course, but they've only ever been rumors."

"What rumors, Professor?" Lily asked, still watching her Patronus interact with James'.

"There are rumors that say that two people with corresponding Patronus shapes are meant to be. I never put much stock in it. It all seemed like silly fantasies and ridiculous romantics to me. But perhaps, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, you are more connected than you realize." The Professor didn't even stay to explain what he was talking about. He awarded Gryffindor ten points for James' Patronus, and then went off to help Sirius and Hestia, who seemed to be arguing.

Lily and James merely stood, staring at each other, trying to process everything that had just happened. They turned back to look at their Patronuses, and Lily's vanished quite suddenly. She realized she had lost focus.

What was odd was that James' stag turned its head from left to right, as if searching, before it too vanished.

James didn't know what to say. There was some part of him (a very proud and rather evil part) that wanted to cry "I told you so!" Luckily for James, he was able to very successfully keep that part of himself hidden. Another part of him wanted to sweep Lily up and kiss her, full on the mouth, public humiliation be damned. This part was harder to control, but he managed. And finally, the part that won out, said, "Well where the bloody hell does that put us?" Judging by the look on Lily's face, he almost wished he had said "I told you so".

Her face showed annoyance and frustration, but her response was very quiet and controlled. "I don't know James. I thought that last night and today would make me less confused, but really it's just made me want to cry and rip out my own hair."

James moved towards her out of instinct, saying, "I don't want you to cry."

She backed away, also out of instinct, which stung James' emotions quite a bit. "I need a little more time, James. Please give me a little more time."

James didn't want to give her more time. He wanted to demand an answer, right here, right now. He wanted to force her to tell him exactly what was on her mind so they could work through it together. But he knew that wouldn't go over well. So he nodded, and neither of them said anything else for the rest of class.

They were dismissed, and all of them headed off to dinner. James was thankful for the distraction. Food was always a nice way to take his mind off of Lily, and maybe Hestia and Sirius wouldn't kill each other at the meal, and they could all actually eat however much they wanted.

It seemed as if someone had heard James' silent plea. Though Hestia and Sirius did not talk all throughout dinner, they at least didn't yell at each other, and no one ran out in a huff, which was always a good meal, in James' book.

James spent his time talking to Sirius and Marlene about Quidditch. He wanted to bring Hestia into the conversation, but figured (rightly) that that couldn't end well. So Remus spent dinner talking to Lily and Hestia. James was slightly jealous of his friend, much preferring talking to Lily over Quidditch plays, but he knew she was still mulling things over. Peter and Mary contributed to whichever conversation they were closest to. Both of them being shy people, they did not always participate in conversations unless specifically dragged into them. James always tried to bring Peter in on whatever they were plotting, and he knew Marlene was Mary's best friend and confidant. Just because they were quiet, that did not make them useless members of the group.

So dinner came and went. Lily was thinking about heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room, but Hestia quickly nixed that. "You go on without us." She said to Mary and Marlene, who shrugged and continued up.

"What's up Hestia?" Lily asked.

"I don't want to go to the Common Room. I don't want to risk running into that prat." She said, a scowl crossing her face. Lily knew who 'that prat' was, and frankly Lily didn't want to run into him either. "Can we go back to your room instead?"

"Sure. I'm fairly sure James will be going back to Gryffindor Tower with Remus, Sirius, and Peter anyways." And Hestia was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to even register that James was no longer 'Potter' to Lily.

"Brilliant. Maybe we can actually do some of this homework." Lily groaned. That's the absolute last thing she wanted to be thinking of, so you knew something was up. Here was Lily Evans not wanting to do her homework. James had screwed with her head more than she cared to admit.

They got to Lily's Common Room, which was thankfully empty. The two of them sat down around a table in front of the fire and pulled their essays out of their bags. They worked in silence, appreciating the fact that they didn't need to talk to each other to be comfortable.

They heard a commotion outside in the hall, and Lily and Hestia looked up, perplexed. It sounded like two people shouting.

Suddenly the door banged open and Sirius stormed in, James trailing behind him, looking desperate.

"James, what…?" Lily started to ask, but she was cut off by Sirius.

"Hestia, we need to talk."

Hestia made a small noise of disgust in the back of her throat and turned back to her essay. Sirius growled.

"Can we have a moment James, Lily?" Sirius asked through clenched teeth.

James nodded and grabbed Lily by the upper arm. Lily tried to struggle away from him and ask Sirius what the bloody hell was going on, but she took one look at James' face and fell silent. He looked a little desperate, and a little sad.

James opened the door to the bathroom and went in quickly, pulling Lily behind him. He shut the door swiftly and pushed her up against it, so they were chest to chest. Lily's breath caught in her throat. For half a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. But all James said was "Shhh" with his eyes trained on her lips.

Lily found her mouth inexplicably dry, so she licked her lips slowly. James groaned, but quickly gathered himself. He moved off of her and pressed his ear to the door. Lily had to catch her breath for a few seconds before mirroring him.

"Hestia, please listen!" Sirius was saying. Lily put her eye to the key hole and saw him grab her friend by the hand and pull her back to face him.

Hestia glared. "What do you want, Black?" She spit the name out like it was something vulgar stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

"Let me explain, please, I'm begging you."

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Because I can't lose you!" he yelled. This effectively froze Hestia in her place. "I can't lose you, and I realize that now. I panicked this morning, because I've never been with a girl this long. You're the only person I've been able to stand longer than three months, hell, longer than three weeks, and I got scared! It was too easy with you. I mean, it was too easy to be with you. It shouldn't be that easy, should it? So I got to thinking, which you know is always a bad idea with me. And I came to the conclusion that something was wrong, and it was time for our relationship to end. Of course, I'm an idiot, and a prat, so I said what I did in front of everyone. I'm not trying to excuse myself, not at all, because I know I really hurt you. But I didn't expect that to happen. I was just expecting you to get pissed at me, and then break up with me later. What I didn't think about was how much it would kill me to see that look on your face."

Sirius looked strange, grasping her hands and confessing his true feelings. Sirius never confessed his feelings, because he was always convinced he would never feel anything real. That alone was enough to keep Hestia in her place.

"I want a real relationship with you, Hestia. I don't want any more of this 'hooking up' thing that we do. I know it makes you feel safer, and you didn't want to tell our friends about us, and maybe that's why I said what I did this morning… I don't know! But I've been thinking and thinking about never getting to talk to you again, flirt with you, kiss you… and it was unbearable!

"Look, I can't be sure quite what I want, but I know one thing for certain. I want you, Hestia Jones. For as long as you'll take me, or for as long as you'll tolerate my bad jokes, it's up to you. But I don't want to just be hooking up with you, and I don't want you out of my life either. Bloody hell, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want a 'Sirius Black' relationship. I want a real, adult relationship, because for some strange reason, I fancy you quite a bit. And because life is quite beautiful and wonderful at times, you fancy me a bit too. Or at least… you did this morning. So please Hestia, take me back. Let me be with you for real, because it's only been a couple hours, but already I'm going crazy without you."

Sirius stopped talking and took a few deep breaths. He waited with baited breath for a few seconds, and they were the longest of his life. James and Lily, with their ears pressed to the bathroom door, were waiting just as nervously as Sirius.

Finally, Hestia spoke. "Sirius Orion Black, sometimes I can't bloody stand you. And then you go and do something like this, and I can't believe I ever lived without you."

"So that's a yes?"

"It's a yes, you prat, but I could very well change my mind." The there was a growl, and a little gasp, and then what sounded like someone being pushed very roughly against the door. Lily withdrew her eye quickly from the keyhole.

"Don't you dare." Sirius growled and then it went silent (presumably because the two found their mouths otherwise… occupied…)

James and Lily backed away from the door and sat with their backs against the tub, staring at the door with mixed expressions. Lily seemed fascinated, while James was just disgusted. True, Lily was a little queasy too, because that was her best friend being snogged to death out there, but she wasn't about to do anything about it.

After a few minutes of Lily and James sitting in the small bathroom awkwardly, praying that their two friends didn't decide to go at it right against the door, they heard Sirius say, "Come on, let's get out of here. I don't think our Head Boy and Girl would approve of what we're about to do." Sirius rapped against the door and called, "Hey you two! If you're not shagging, you can come out!"

Lily stood up and headed for the door, but James grabbed her arm and shook his head. "Let's give it a few minutes, just to be safe." Lily nodded. That seemed like the best option, though she would love to get out of this stuffy bathroom. She was sitting far too close to James, and he was looking at her far too intently, and her stomach was doing that strange twisty thing it was doing in Charms class.

After a few minutes had gone by, James deemed the Common Room Sirius-free, and the two came out of the bathroom. James went over and sat on the couch while Lily stood by her bedroom door, wanting desperately to go in, but also wanting to talk to James.

As if he had read her mind, James asked, "Have you made up your mind yet?" He was looking directly into the fire, not making eye contact, afraid of her answer.

She nodded, and then remembering he wasn't looking at her, said, "Yes, I think I have."

His head whipped around. He stared at her. Neither said anything, so James prompted, "Yes, what is it?"

Lily shuffled uncomfortably before going and sitting on the couch, a good meter away from him. She played with her hands on her lap and didn't look at him.

"Lily, please, you have to tell me. Please." He begged.

She took a deep breath before she looked into his eyes and said, "I haven't been giving you enough credit for how you are now. I think it took the whole Patronus thing to make me realize. You're much better now. Definitely in comparison to a year ago, and even as opposed to three days ago, when you were sending gnomes into the Great Hall dressed like lions." James smiled ruefully as the memory came back to him. Lily frowned in concentration, trying to gather her thoughts. "But, I don't know, something about this year with you is just… easier. It's easier to talk to you, and it's easier to laugh with you, and work with you. I don't know what happened. Maybe you changed, maybe I did… I can't be sure."

"I think it was a little bit of both." James whispered.

She nodded. "That seems right. I guess what I'm saying is that yes, I do like you. With all the little things you've been doing, like standing up for me against Sirius, and bringing me those sandwiches…" James grinned. He knew that was a good idea. "Don't get smug." She chastised. "So yes James, I fancy you."

He whooped and pumped his fist in the air, making Lily smile. "I knew you'd warm up to me! Oh Lily, oh thank you." He kissed her on the cheek, causing her to blush. He smiled. "So did you think my Patronus/Animagus argument was solid? I was honestly terrified that you would hex me when I told you."

Lily didn't speak for a few seconds. "I think if anything, it actually confused me more. And the kiss certainly didn't help."

James' face fell. "So you regret the kiss?"

"Oh no! Oh Merlin James, not at all! It really was quite wonderful." He perked up a little, but didn't seem completely convinced. So Lily moved her head forwards and captured his lips with hers. James froze in shock, but quickly recovered and kissed her back firmly. When they could go no longer without air, they pulled away slowly.

"Wow." James breathed with an awe-struck look on his face. "I definitely wasn't expecting that."

Lily chuckled. "I told you I didn't regret it. But it did confuse me beyond belief. You had been incredibly sweet that day, surprisingly so, and then you drag me out of the Hogwarts grounds, and spring all this information on me. Like, for example, you're an illegal Animagus." James looked down, ashamed. Lily lifted his chin up so he was looking back at her. "I'm not mad. I actually think it's pretty brilliant. I mean the kind of magic involved with that… it must have taken years. But it didn't make me like you. You did that just fine on your own. It just gave me a better reason to see that I liked you."

James kissed her sweetly, and she kissed him back. Lily leaned forwards a ways, causing James to fall down on his back, with Lily on top of him. James had never honestly believed he would be in this situation. He had dreamed about it, oh yes, but usually in his dreams they were quite a bit less clothed. But James was perfectly happy right here, because this was far better than any dream he could ever have come up with. Lily really did taste as beautiful as she looked…

His hands slid up the back of her shirt and rested on her lower back. He wouldn't dream of going any farther tonight.

Lily sat up abruptly. "What is it? Did I do something wrong? Is this too fast?" He asked, panicked that he had ruined his chance already.

"No, it's not that. That was perfectly fine. Better than fine, actually." She said, blushing. She cleared her throat and then said the thing that was eating at her. "It's just that… yesterday, when you were arguing with Sirius before Charms, Remus said… well, he said 'let James love whomever he wants' and you didn't correct him. Why didn't you correct him?"

James shrugged. "There was nothing to correct."

Lily sat up more completely, disentangling herself from James. He sat up with her. "How do you mean?" she asked, confused and a little concerned.

"Well, there was nothing to correct. He was right when he said that. What I mean is…" James took a deep breath and looked right in Lily's eyes. "I love you. I didn't want to tell you so soon, because I didn't want to scare you away. And I realize I've probably completely mucked this up, and I hate myself for it, but it's better that you know, know what I mean? At least this way you can chuck me on my arse and I know that you know how I feel. But if it's all the same to you I'd rather not be chucked on my arse…"

Lily put a hand on his lips, silencing him. "You're rambling James."

He nodded and opened his mouth to apologize, but figured he couldn't trust himself to keep everything inside, so he shut it quickly.

Lily kissed him softly. "I'm not chucking you on your arse. For some odd reason I found your rambling very charming. But James, I'm not in love with you."

"I didn't expect you to be. I mean it's only today or maybe yesterday that you stopped hating me, and I never even expected that much to happen, so I think I'm just thankful that you don't want to hex me for being a creepy stalker." James said very quickly. Lily chuckled again. "I was rambling, wasn't I?"

She nodded, still smiling at him. "I may not be in love with you James Potter, but I would love the opportunity to fall in love with you."

"That's more than I ever hoped for." And James kissed her again, this time forcing her to lie back on the couch. They continued on like that for minutes, hours, days, James didn't know. Lily was lying under him, very willing to continue snogging him, and who was he to complain? He finally had the love of his life returning his affections.

James had dreamed of this day, hoped for it, hell, even prayed for it, but in the back of his mind he had somehow never thought it would happen. Of course, everyone else saw it as inevitable, but James, no matter what he bragged about, was always afraid of Lily never returning his affections. If she hadn't have agreed to date him this year, and he never saw her again after Hogwarts, it would have been the greatest regret of his life.

But now they had all the time in the world for what could be, what can be. They had a world of opportunities in front of them. And James owed it all to tiny Professor Flitwick, the Patronus Charm, Sirius Black (in some odd way that he wasn't completely sure about, but he felt like he should include Sirius in the list of things that caused this relationship), and a silver doe. One bright silver doe and one red-haired girl that he was never letting go of.

End.