AN: I apologise for the delay, real life had some demands on me, and unfortunately, after this, I will likely be on hiatus for a while. I shall try and write when I can, but I have no more completed material to publish. I'm about 9 chapters in to a new story, but I've been working on it for nearly 6 months, and the end is not in sight.

This chapter contains references to Confessions of a Teenage Starfleet Cadet and A Tale of Two Ensigns.

It also contains possible implied background slash, depending on your interpretation of the word 'crewman.'

This chapter also contains references to what will hopefully be a future story of mine, the current working title being 'Not Just For the Paperwork.'

James Tiberius Kirk was having a terrible day.

In fact, that would be an understatement.

He'd been suspended by the Academy Board over the Kobayashi Maru, suffered the symptoms of Melvarean mudflea virus, suffered through being hypo-ed countless times by his best friend, walked into a Romulan trap, observed the wreckage indicating the deaths of the rest of his Class, watched someone die a horrid death via space jump accident, been attacked by Romulans, nearly fallen off the edge of a platform to his death...

No, Jim Kirk was having the worst conceivable day in the universe.

'Olson had the charges!'

'I know!'

'What do we do?'

Jim tosses a Romulan rifle to the man who just saved his life.

He could definitely be friends with Hikaru Sulu.

The man was a ninja!

'This!'

He fires.

There was something very satisfying about destroying this drill.

The satisfaction is quite short-lived.

Soon, they observe a missile-like object, launched into the hole in Vulcan that has just been drilled.

Not long after that, the platform they're standing on begins to shake.

And I thought that today couldn't get any worse...

He sees Sulu topple over the edge, unable to keep his balance on the rapidly ascending, shaking platform.

He hears a voice through his comm.

'I can't lock onto you! Don't move! Don't move!'

He hears Sulu cry out.

'Kirk!'

Jim doesn't think.

He just acts.

'Sulu!'

He runs to the platform's edge and jumps off.

'Good ewening, Keptain.'

Jim looks up from his dinner. It's late, almost the end of Beta Shift.

Why was the kid still up?

Well, not technically a kid anymore...he is 18 now.

'Why are you still up, Chekov? And Jim off duty, kid.'

The boy nods slowly.

'Zen Pavel to you as vell. I couldn't sleep. Eet ees wery strange.'

'Anything troubling you? Go down to Bones if you need something to help you sleep, and tell him I sent you. On second thoughts, don't tell him...'

'No zank you, Keptain. I have no desire to be hypo-ed by ze Doctor.'

Jim laughs.

'No, of course you don't. But really, Pavel, what's eating you?'

The younger man ponders for a moment.

'I zink I may be a leetle homesick, Kep-Jim. '

Jim smiles.

'It's pretty normal, Pavel. I'm sure we all feel it sometimes.'

'But ve have not been gone long! And zis ees not ewen a fiwe-year mission! Vhat vill I do zhen?'

He pats Pavel on the back, hopefully reassuringly.

'I can't speak from personal experience, but I'm sure you'll manage, Pavel, you're pretty tough. And everyone else will be feeling it too. We'll help you through it. And you won't be completely alone; you do have your little girlfriend.'

The Russian looks down at the table, somewhat ruefully.

'I am not so sure about zat, Keptain, sorry, Jim. '

Said Captain raises an eyebrow.

'Vell, eet ees kind of complicated! I zought zat eet vould be easy, since eet ees Ellen and all, but eet- eet ees confusing. And harder zhan eet looks. Zings are changing, but ve do not understand how or vhy!'

Jim grins.

'You're growing up, Pavel, your relationship is changing. I'm James T. Kirk, I'm most certainly not the best person to ask about this stuff, though I'm here if you need me.'

Pavel returns the grin, a glint in his eye.

'Zanks, Jim. But who else vill I ask? I leeve on a starship een space vith a Wulcan, an Engineer een love vith ze ship and a diworced Doctor!'

Both men laugh.

'You could always ask Sulu.'

The Navigator looks at him as if he's kidding.

'Ask Hikaru? Hikaru zinks zat silly adwenture stories and fencing ees good flirting!'

They share another laugh.

'I agree. Not my best idea. Perhaps you could ask Yeoman Rand. She does seem to know where to get anything and everything.'

The younger man grins cheekily.

'Vhy don't you ask her for me? She has been looking at you funny, Kepta-, sorry, Jim!'

Jim rolls his eyes.

'Off to bed with you, Pavel, it's late.'

The Russian just laughs and runs off.

Jim Kirk leaned heavily on his desk, shoulders slumped, head pillowed on a stack of PADDs.

Earlier that day, his Crew had been caught in a battle, a trap, with space pirates.

They had lost their first crewmember since the Narada Incident. The report had come through, barely an hour ago, and he'd already had to listen to Bones rant, he'd been consoled by him, in his own way.

It took the edge off the grief, but it surely didn't make it any easier to bear.

Though a comparably smaller loss to the Narada Incident, it's harder when it's only one, it's harder when you can acutely think about that one person, about what went wrong.

Jim opens one eye, then another, reading the name in big bold letters on the uppermost PADD.

Ensign Wilkins, Max

He'd been young, younger than himself.

The more he reads, the worse he feels.

The Ensign had a fiancée back home, parents, two younger siblings.

There were so many people who would miss him.

He'd been well-liked by his department, popular amongst the Crew.

Yet he'd never met him.

How could he have? He was Captain, he didn't have the time, no person could know everyone.

That didn't make it any easier. In fact, it made it worse.

As Captain, he would have to write a letter, to inform the next of kin and the family.

How does one write such a letter? How does one tell someone that their son, brother, fiancé is dead?

Not in print, that's for sure. Not in some formal set letter, typed out by a Yeoman, signed by the Captain at the bottom, along the dotted line.

His door opens, and in walks Yeoman Janice Rand, face pale.

'Captain...I...I have the letter templates for the Ensign's parents and fiancée...'

He took the PADD and shoved it aside, under a pile on his desk.

'Forget about the templates, Janice. Get Uhura or whoever is at Communications to set up a secure link, the Ensign's parents in Wyoming.'

She seems surprised.

'Of course, Captain.'

Soon, the link is opened. A middle-aged man and woman appear on screen, visibly confused.

Jim takes a deep breath.

'My name is Jim, and I'm calling about your son, Max.'

The woman recoils slightly from the screen, hand over her mouth.

'Is...Is my son alright?'

Jim looks down, avoiding the parents.

'I'm so sorry, but he passed away a few hours ago, Mr and Mrs Wilkins.'

He turns away, giving the grieving parents some privacy.

He catches Janice's eye, and she bites her lip, pacing back and forth.

He turns back to the screen.

'Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I know that the brass will keep saying that to you, but I genuinely am. I never got to meet him during his service, but you should know, he was well-liked and an exemplary crewmember. I know it's not much consolation, but...'

The Ensign's father interrupts.

'Thank you, Jim. For telling us in person, instead of sending a letter. My wife and I are grateful.'

Mrs Wilkins can only manage to croak out a word.

'H-How?'

Jim swallows.

'I can't tell you all the details, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be telling you this, but he died in a firefight, confiscating contraband from space pirates...I can't tell you anymore...I'm sorry...'

'...Will we get to bury him?'

Jim nodded.

'We're sending his body home as soon as we can, it should arrive in around three weeks...'

The Ensign's mother nods tearfully.

'Tha-Thank you, Jim. We- We heard all about you being a big hero and all...but thank you for telling us about our boy.'

Jim shakes his head.

'It's the least I could do, Ma'am.'

The screen goes black.

Jim turns away, flopping down into his chair, leaning his head on the desk.

He feels a hand on his shoulder.

'You...you did well, Captain.'

He raises his head.

'Thank you, Janice.'

Jim Kirk grins at the two nervous crewmembers before him.

They've never had a word to their Captain, never had a private audience before him.

He's barely been aware of their existence, he thinks he had an Away Mission with one a few months back, but he's not quite sure.

That doesn't matter, though.

There his Crew.

He'll do anything for his Crew.

'Crewman Alexis, Crewman Hughes, I'd be honoured to officiate your wedding.'

Jim Kirk's eyes snapped open.

No- not my- let them go! Your quarrel is with me!

Flashes of the past days ran through his mind.

As his head cleared, he began to get a sense of where he was.

Sickbay.

Sickbay on the Enterprise.

Safe in Sickbay on the Enterprise.

Safe.

And his eyes slowly drifted shut again.

Only to snap back open as the haze cleared, as more memories returned.

Before Bones can stop him, and ram another hypo into his neck, like he now remembers his friend doing when he materialized on the transporter pad, he makes a run for it.

Within minutes, he's back on the Bridge.

'Captain-'

Spock turns to him, not quite surprised that his Captain is up and running so soon after receiving such grievous injuries.

It's been a few months since the Narada, and they are beginning to know each other well.

'Spock, we're going back. Get a team together. Sulu, turn this ship around-'

'Captain, our orders were to extract you from the situation-'

'No buts, Spock. I don't care what our orders were. We don't leave our own behind, not if we can help it.'

AN: Thank you for your support! Thanks for reading, reviewing, favouriting and subscribing! I hope you enjoyed, and maybe feel a little inspired too!

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

~TheGirlWhoRemembers

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Star Trek or Hero by Superchick.