TITLE: Incoming Text Message
FANDOM: Hetalia
PAIRING: SPAMANO. GERITA and SEYFRA mentioned in passing.
SUMMARY: Lovino Vargas just wanted to text his brother's new cellphone. Instead, he accidentally texts this guy named 'Spain'. What the heck? Moreover, this guy just won't stop freakin' texting Lovino!
RATING: T
WARNINGS: Swearing, AU, fluff, cliché-crap, and OOC-ness.
WORD COUNT: 1628
SONG: Telephone- Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce
a/n: N-now as you all know (well, readers of Helados y Besos at least) I'm super unconfident about writing my OTP, Spamano. P-please be gentle in your reviews (not that you guys haven't been so wonderfully kind and lovely already). Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and pointers in general on how to keep Lovino and Antonio in character. Mucho gracias!
a/n2: Ah yes, I do own a cell phone and yes, I know people use lingo. BUT UGH. I'm one of those people who MUST USE GRAMMAR AND PROPER PUNCTUATION IN TEXTS.
Disclaimer: Do not own Hetalia, Marc Jacobs bags, Dead Space, or iPhones by APPLE. Also, all the numbers in this fanfiction are FAKE.
INCOMING TEXT: Feliciano Vargas
To: Lovino Vargas
Ve~ Fratello, I'm cancelling this phone! Ludwig went out and helped me pick out a new one! :D My new number is 613-401-6756!
INCOMING TEXT: Lovino Vargas
To: Feliciano Vargas
Then why not text me when you get your new phone? C'mon, use some common sense. And stop hanging around that potato bastard so much!
INCOMING TEXT: Feliciano Vargas
To: Lovino Vargas
Oh! I didn't think of that! I'm at Ludwig's place right now, so how about you text me and I'll save your number? I'm throwing out this phone right now, so please text my new phone v(^_^) P.S: Ve~, but Ludwig is my boyfriend! How can I not hang out with him, fratello?
INCOMING TEXT: Alfred Jones
To: Lovino Vargas
Hey! Are we still hanging out tonight? My place, Iggy, Michelle, me + you=DEAD SPACE MARATHON!11!1 :D
INCOMING TEXT: Lovino Vargas
To: Alfred Jones
Yeah. Might as well. And when did Michelle get back in town? I thought she was in Seychelles with her family.
INCOMING TEXT: Alfred Jones
To: Lovino Vargas
She never went! LOL! She was mooching off of Francis for a month. :P
Hm. Figures Michelle would do that. She'd never been too fond of her over-affectionate parents, and always figured out ways to avoid the pair. And of course, she also had an infatuation with the French Bastard (AKA Francis). So she probably plotted that arrangement (and ew, Lovino didn't even want to think about all the horrible, disgusting, and nasty 'mishaps' Michelle and Francis would get into… ugh).
Sighing, Lovino slipped his iPhone into his jeans pocket, proceeding to glare furiously at his notebook. He'd been trying to write his homework his Art History class, but he was failing miserably. His brother, Feliciano, whom he was protecti—annoyed of, kept texting him. He was sure his fucking iPhone would combust at any moment from his over-flowing inbox. Not to mention Alfred texting him a mile a minute. Lovino swore that all American's were born with fucking cell phones attached to their fingers—how else would they be able to type a mile a minute and reply in a ridiculous amount of seconds?
… A-and it wasn't like Lovino enjoyed the text messages. It w-wasn't like he felt like he wasn't ignored anymore by his peers… H-hell no! H-He hated cell phones! He only got one so he could keep an eye (or, in this case, ear) on his little brother from a one Potato Bastard!
Yeah!
…
… Okay fine. It was also to talk to his group of friends, Alfred, Arthur, and Michelle…
Lovino shut his notebook, giving up on the idea of even bothering to complete his homework. If he had really wanted to, he wouldn't have come to busiest diner in town and he wouldn't have left his iPhone on.
Just as he slipped his notebook into his Marc Jacobs messenger bag, a pretty waitress sashayed over, a metal tray held by her hip and her bright, pink and checkered uniform nearly blinding him.
… What? He liked eating at cheesy, 70's themed family restaurants! So what? He just came here when the regular, yummy pasta restaurants weren't open and other shit excuses like that…
The girl clucked her tongue, seemingly annoyed with the Italian's lack of response. Her pale, freckly hand reached for the pencil behind her ear, then pulling a notepad out of her ruffled white apron. "What can I get for you, hon?"
"The regular combo meal, please." He said, putting on his best polite-face (which was almost as good as his I-surrender-so-please-put-me-down face).
The girl nodded, writing the order down before she walked away, heels clicking and clacking against the floor like a secretary on a chase. Lovino pulled out his iPhone, scowling, as it pinged again.
INCOMING TEXT: Alfred Jones
To: Lovino Vargas
Bring some chips, plllzz? Iggy says he's bringing scones and the last thing we need is everyone choking due to a burned up esophagus!
INCOMING TEXT: Lovino Vargas
To: Alfred Jones
You're pretty damn lucky I'm already out. I'll pick up a few bags on my way there.
… Also, I'm impressed that you were able to spell esphagus on your phone.
INCOMING TEXT: Alfred Jones
To: Lovino Vargas
Hahaha I'm using the iPhone, remember? AUTO COCK FOR THE WIN!
INCOMING TEXT: Lovino Vargas
To: Alfred Jones
Yeah, because you totally didn't just let auto-correct fuck up what you said. Nope. Not at all.
INCOMING TEXT: Alfred Jones
To: Lovino Vargas
… huh?
INCOMING TEXT: Alfred Jones
To: Lovino Vargas
OHH I SEE! LMFAOOOO. THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY, ACTUUALLLLYYY! 8D
"Idiot." Lovino said out loud, fighting the twitching corners of his lip that tried to turn up. Then he remembered he should probably text Feliciano's new phone, lest his other half do something stupid and wasn't able to contact him.
… Lovino frowned. Wait, what was the number again? He browsed through his previous messages and found his brother's, reading the number hurriedly before clicking the message shut and starting a new text.
Six one three, four-o-one, six seven eight nine.
INCOMING TEXT: +6134013427
To: Unknown Number
Here's my number. You better not fucking lose it while texting that stupid potato sucking bastard. I'll be at Alfred's tonight, so remember to heat up the pasta I wrapped up in the fridge.
-LOVINO
"Here's your meal sir, sorry for the wait." A new waitress said, an odd, cat like smirk on her face. Her name tag read 'Femke' and she had short, wavy blonde hair. Lovino recognized her—but the notion passed as he accepted the meal, nodding in thanks.
There were very few moments where Lovino actually indulged in eating burgers. Especially calorie loaded, sauce infested, soggy tomato invaded burgers like the ones he was holding with both hands right now. It was that stupid American's fault, of course. With years of hanging out with Alfred (they went way back), Lovino grew accustomed to burgers.
Wolfing down his burger (table manners were for expensive restaurants only, s-sheesh!), he nearly started as his iPhone bleeped out its usual text ringtone. Dropping the patty onto his plate, he flicked the 'Lock' button and stared it his phone, eyes widening in confusion and shock.
INCOMING TEXT: +6134016789
To: 6134013427
Ahaha, I believe you have the wrong number. Well, unless you're coming onto me, that is~! ;)
Enjoying how adorably funny your text was,
Spain
What. The. Fuck? Lovino glared at his phone, nearly jumping out of his seat. D-did someone steal his brother's phone? Feliciano did tell him that was the number, r-right? Maybe Feliciano fucked up writing it—NO! Feliciano was smart with some things (art, being kind, making friends, etc etc ETC), and memory was one of them. He must've given Lovino the right number!
… Damn, maybe… Lovino quickly went through his previous texts, searching for the number—
Six one three, four-o-one, six seven five six. Not eight nine.
… Lovino didn't put in the right number, after all.
Furious at his own mistake as he realized, yes, he screwed up the number, he really needed to vent his anger.
That's why he texted that weirdo 'Spain' back as he paid for his meal, left the diner, and stormed across the street to the nearest convenience store for chips.
INCOMING TEXT: 6134013427
To: 6134016789
Nobody would come on to a random stranger, bastardo! And texting someone by mistake isn't adorable! It's embarrassing and creepy, you jerk!
-LOVINO
INCOMING TEXT: 6134016789
To: 6134013427
Well, some people hit on strangers, right? And yesyesyesyes it's CUTTTEE! You're probably very flustered, si?
Laughing with you, not at you,
Spain
W-… what a creep! Lovino grabbed four random flavours of chips and went to the cash, not looking up from his cell as he furiously tapped letters and exclamation points.
'Send'.
INCOMING TEXT: 6134013427
To: 6134016789
Only girls! I'm a guy! And I'm assuming you're a guy too, so stop being so damn creepy! And get rid of my number!
-LOVINO
A phone ping sounded as the cashier rang up Lovino's items, he chuckled, stopped in the middle of his job, and picked up his phone. Lovino placed his bag on the ground (agh, Lovino hated doing that to his Marc Jacob baby!), finally looking at the cashier properly, ready to bitch him out.
… And Lovino was not prepared to see someone so handsome—No! UGLY. Yes! The cashier had a face a m-mother could only love!
… H-he definitely did not have brown, curly hair and bright, energetic green eyes. And the cashier was certainly not wonderfully tanned and oh were those sexy bicep muscles? Hello! Was this guy Latin? Lovino had a thing for Latin guys—
"Ahaha! This guy is funny!" he suddenly exclaimed, and Lovino took a few steps back in surprise. He regained his footing, instantly glaring at the (gorgeous) cashier.
"Are you going to fucking take my debit card or what? Stop texting on the job, damn it!"
The guy looked up from his phone, smile never dropping. "Oh! Yes! Silly me!" He grabbed the debit card from Lovino's currently outstretched hand, swiping it through the machine and passing it to Lovino so the Italian could punch in his password numbers.
Two-eight-nine—
Ping!
"For fucksake!" Lovino all but screeched, effectively scaring some customers from going even five feet close to the cash and the angry Italian. He whipped out his iPhone, staring furiously at the screen.
INCOMING TEXT: 6134016789
To: 6134013427
Oh, that's okay! I like guys! But anyway, I'd rather not get rid of your number! You've been very entertaining so far!
Spain
"That bastard! I'm going to have to switch numbers, aren't I?" Lovino hissed to himself, grabbing his plastic bag and stomping away from the (dreamy) cashier.
He didn't even catch the loud cashier's shout of "Wait! You left your bag!"
EXIT PROLOGUE! This was supposed to be a one-shot but I'm think it's more of a three-four shot. 8D MAYBE I'LL ACTUALLY KEEP UPDATING IT, YEAH?
If you have any concerns or advice, do tell. I'd really like to know if you guys like the texting format…it's pretty confusing, sorry ^^;
Sorry for the lateness in posting this. I've been rather busy and my internet connection has been failing, too. A-also…I WENT FOR AN INTERVIEW TODAY AND…AND…I GOT A JOB! ;A; M-my very first job…o-oh, I'm so terribly nervous and excited! I-I'm at a grocery store, yayy (not. I hate grocery stores/SHOT)! I-I'm a front cashier. U-Um, how is that different from a normal cashier? I do not know. ;A; I don't start training until next week, though. *whew* Lots of time to write before I'm drowing in work. X)
OH OH OH! ANY OF YOU GUYS PLAY DEAD SPACE? NRGHH IT'S AN AWESOME GAME! I've only watched the PC LP's by mangaminx on Youtube, BUUTTTT I got the iPod Touch game app and it has twelve levels of AWESOME! I'm on level six! I'm at a zero-g area. I just took on a brute, and now I'm doing more escaping, ahahaha! If you guys have an iPhone/iPod Touch, you should definitely buy the game! It's only 2 bucks and it's really well developed for being so cheap! :D :D