AN: Here I am, the night before my exam…that I don't really care about for some strange reason…I feel detached from the whole situation. Dunno why. Or rather, I do know why, I just can't say it out loud. Either way, here I am, and my inspiration usually awakens the night before some exam. That, and the fact that I had a huge writer's block that lasted for months. Now I can write what I had in mind, another reason for that being my emotions.

It might sound strange but I kinda appreciate my current emotional state. Whenever I feel down, whenever something bad happens, whenever I encounter some emotional instability, my inspiration makes me write everything down. So we should all be grateful to my anxiety.

One more thing, I apologize for such a late update! It's been like six months or something…But there you go, the new chapter! Please do enjoy it and leave a comment.

Warnings: Different POV. I hope you'll get to like Rin.

Silence Must be Heard

Chapter 2: Rin

Rin grew up to be a nice young man, tall and with darkish skin, big, bright eyes, and long hair he liked to dye in various colors, depending on the mood. But still, he was not a rebel, as many may think. On the contrary, he was very meek, very amiable and polite, sporting some kind of a smile that made people relaxed when in his presence. He appeared to be the type who never had to worry about anything and who accepted life the way it was, never taking anything too gravely, never complaining about the hardships he might have encountered during his lifetime, nothing that would indicate he was in pain. He disliked inconveniencing others, and sometimes, but not always, he had the habit of putting other people's needs before his own. In one word, he grew to be highly tolerant of others, kind of a philanthropic man of seventeen.

But as he grew, as his view on the world and circumstances, happenings around him changed and shaped, he was also growing bitter, uncertain at times, melancholic, sometimes overly jealous and possessive. He was successful in concealing these flaws of his. As a contemplative type of person, his greatest desire was to be able to categorize everything, to try and create absolutes for which he knew could never exist. There was only one absolute in this vast universe of ours, and it was death, inevitable to all of us. Whether someone was a vampire or a human, it didn't matter; death came in all shapes and sizes and claimed living beings and the undead ones in one way or another.

So, Rin had this bad habit of desperately trying to categorize things and make some absolutes, some kind of a pattern applicable to many cases, and he was mostly looking for that when his self-esteem went too low; then he would ask people about their opinion on a certain thing, hoping they would reassure him. And now it was happening more frequently, and he was growing more anxious about things that he couldn't predict or prevent. Multiple scenarios were playing in his head, and his consciousness always chose the worst one, pessimistic one, and he was feeding off of that feeling of angst when imagining it, consoling himself that in reality it couldn't be so, because he had imagined it otherwise. It was lame and torturing.

He always felt detached from his family. Mostly, it was because he spent most of his time at the Academy, attending the courses, living in the dorm with other students. His mother had developed some syndrome women sometimes had after giving birth (he could not remember its name), and couldn't handle the presence of his baby sister, Haru, who had been three years his junior. Haru had died some time ago, when the bookshelf in their great library at home fell on her. What a tragic death of such a young being, he thought. This catastrophic event made him more wary of his surroundings, fine-tuned his view on the world a bit more, made him more self-aware in regards to the relationship between his parents, his attitude towards that and many, many things. It was such a heavy burden for his brain and heart.

He had always known there was something awkward in his mother's behavior and couldn't understand the reason why it had been only Kaname who brought him to the Academy every time after weekends or summer and winter breaks, or after holidays. He and Zero, the man in charge of Rin, never spoke much, but Kaname always praised him and always put Rin into his care. The two of them had grown fond of each other, and as Rin grew, befriended. By observation, as the time passed, Rin was able to make some conclusions about Kaname's and Zero's ambiguous relationship, and the feeling of jealousy, anxiety and disgust would always seize him.

Namely, the two of them, Zero and Rin, had become lovers some time ago. Zero, unable to age due to him being a vampire, was in appearance as young as Rin was. He was older and wiser, though, and that put Rin to disadvantage. There were things Rin couldn't possibly know about the world and relationships between people, for he was quite naïve and kind. They had decided to keep it all a secret, which would spare them a lot of trouble, but sometimes things weren't simple. Especially when Kaname was there. Rin desperately wanted to make it known, that he was Zero's lover. That the two of them had started something nice and fun.

It had all started out of pure intention to be fun and wonderful, for they felt cheerful around one another. But soon after, it had become too burdensome to Rin, who could not, for most part, read Zero's moods and preferences. Every conversation seemed like a dead-end one. Zero also tended to change his opinions too quickly, leave some questions open, abruptly end even some small talk, disappear and reappear in internet chat rooms, leaving things rather ambiguous as to whether their relationship was going fine or not. Serious conversations were out of the question, for Rin didn't want Zero to feel uncomfortable or under pressure. For someone who hadn't been that much elated about them getting together, Rin didn't like how things developed now. So his days were reduced to worry and fear.

It was all very fragile, and he was often thinking too much about everything, instead of just enjoying it to the fullest. Physical pain ensued, insecurity in oneself, mistrust in Zero, who was oblivious to all of this, it appeared. On the other hand, he might have been aware of it. Rin had no means of knowing that. He was agonizing over it, but refused to let it be known to Zero. He didn't want to become a burden and subject to his paranoia. So he stayed silent, maintaining the precarious peace. Carpe diem was the motto he wanted to adopt and apply in his life that hadn't even begun, after all. But to no avail. He was moving in circles.

And tomorrow was Kaname's time to visit. He was sleepless.

AN: I don't know how this turned out. I hope you liked it. ^^