I wrote this semi in the style of the other secret diaries....I like writing that way, tis fun! I'm not sure if that person actually DID write one from the rings POV, but I am NOT that person. This one is all mine. *refrains from making "Precious" reference* I'm deciding to take the Ring's POV all the way through "The Hobbit" and then up to LOTR. Reviews deciding, of course. Once again, I DIDN'T WRITE THE OTHER DIARIES! Okay, here goes.
THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF THE ONE RING
Day 1: Was made. Am SUCH a studly ring- very nice fiery letters of doom inscribed on me. Apparently purpose in life is to assist malformed kitchen appliance and facilitate his eventual coup d' état of all things good and holy. All is good as long as receive daily de-tarnishing- malformed kitchen appliances hand awfully sooty.
Day 2: Feeling good, feeling powerful. Caused massive air catapultation of various rag-tag bunch of Men and Elves. Seemed to motivate intimidation. Go me! Felt less supreme when was unexpectedly hacked off of malformed kitchen appliance's rusted armor- landed next to un-washed, rather scruffy looking man who felt need to ogle for unnecessary length of time before dislodging me from Cajun-blackened severed digit.
Rather despondent looking Elf with unnaturally white teeth seemed to desire to chuck me into rather inhospitable looking volcano. Would not stand for that- used supreme powers of mind manipulation to make scruffy looking man keep me as new neck adornment.
Day 3: Having rather large second thoughts about keeping job as neck prettification. Scruffy man also rather smelly man. Needs good rinse and lather. Fortunately, wet dog odor man was ambushed by more large smelly creatures. Fell into water- not too cool. Appears as if I will be staying in this water for a while- saw scruffy-looking man bobbing down river impaled in places which seemed to guarantee his lack of life. As further insult, am now half-buried in river slime.
Day 1,049: Have finally been rescued from interminably boring river. Am now in possession of slimy blue creature with an overdeveloped fondness for the letter S. Seems inevitable this will get on my nerves. May have to destroy slimly creature's mind. Am sure he will not notice, as seems half insane already.
Day 1,050: Slimy creature also has acute fondness for fish. Am not sure how much longer can bear listening to creature debate with self over who loves fish more. Has nicknamed me unbearable love-pet name of "Precious." Am quite sure name will get tedious after about seventeenth use. Have feeling will be used more than seventeen times. May have to throttle creature in depth of night. If only had arms……
Day 2,385,193: Finally have cracked. Lost count of times name "Precious" was hissed to me about two hundred years ago. Am very sick of dark, smelly cave. Am tremendously fed up with fish. Therefore, rolled away subtly when slimy creature was deciding which of it's selves should receive the head of yet another fish.
Plan was to lie low and stay far away from slimy creature, but was unexpectedly discovered by timid midget. Was brought right back to unloved smelly creature and subjected to listening to a few dozen riddles. Was even included in riddle, felt loved. Was eventually brought outside again by timid midget, and met up with even more midgets, these being rough, hairy, and extraordinarily non-verbal.
Beginning to miss malformed kitchen appliance.
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Okay, tell me whatcha think. I love reviews!
THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF THE ONE RING
Day 1: Was made. Am SUCH a studly ring- very nice fiery letters of doom inscribed on me. Apparently purpose in life is to assist malformed kitchen appliance and facilitate his eventual coup d' état of all things good and holy. All is good as long as receive daily de-tarnishing- malformed kitchen appliances hand awfully sooty.
Day 2: Feeling good, feeling powerful. Caused massive air catapultation of various rag-tag bunch of Men and Elves. Seemed to motivate intimidation. Go me! Felt less supreme when was unexpectedly hacked off of malformed kitchen appliance's rusted armor- landed next to un-washed, rather scruffy looking man who felt need to ogle for unnecessary length of time before dislodging me from Cajun-blackened severed digit.
Rather despondent looking Elf with unnaturally white teeth seemed to desire to chuck me into rather inhospitable looking volcano. Would not stand for that- used supreme powers of mind manipulation to make scruffy looking man keep me as new neck adornment.
Day 3: Having rather large second thoughts about keeping job as neck prettification. Scruffy man also rather smelly man. Needs good rinse and lather. Fortunately, wet dog odor man was ambushed by more large smelly creatures. Fell into water- not too cool. Appears as if I will be staying in this water for a while- saw scruffy-looking man bobbing down river impaled in places which seemed to guarantee his lack of life. As further insult, am now half-buried in river slime.
Day 1,049: Have finally been rescued from interminably boring river. Am now in possession of slimy blue creature with an overdeveloped fondness for the letter S. Seems inevitable this will get on my nerves. May have to destroy slimly creature's mind. Am sure he will not notice, as seems half insane already.
Day 1,050: Slimy creature also has acute fondness for fish. Am not sure how much longer can bear listening to creature debate with self over who loves fish more. Has nicknamed me unbearable love-pet name of "Precious." Am quite sure name will get tedious after about seventeenth use. Have feeling will be used more than seventeen times. May have to throttle creature in depth of night. If only had arms……
Day 2,385,193: Finally have cracked. Lost count of times name "Precious" was hissed to me about two hundred years ago. Am very sick of dark, smelly cave. Am tremendously fed up with fish. Therefore, rolled away subtly when slimy creature was deciding which of it's selves should receive the head of yet another fish.
Plan was to lie low and stay far away from slimy creature, but was unexpectedly discovered by timid midget. Was brought right back to unloved smelly creature and subjected to listening to a few dozen riddles. Was even included in riddle, felt loved. Was eventually brought outside again by timid midget, and met up with even more midgets, these being rough, hairy, and extraordinarily non-verbal.
Beginning to miss malformed kitchen appliance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, tell me whatcha think. I love reviews!