I_I_I_I_I_I

Chapter 3: The Bitch of Living

I_I_I_I_I_I

God I dreamed there was an angel,

Who could hear me through the wall,

As I cried out like in Latin,

"This is so not life at all",

Help me out, out of the nightmare,

Then I heard her silver call,

She said just give it time kid,

I come to one and all

-Spring Awakening

I_I_I_I_I_I_I

Tom's ears were about to explode by the time they finally landed in LAX. A 7 hour trip from London to Washington, D.C. coupled with a 4 hour flight to L.A. added up to the merciless popping of his ears. It was as if their canals had swollen up, trapping any air still inside with an impenetrable wall of pain. All he could do was wait for them to open up again; none of the tricks worked. The popping was so bad his hearing was severely handicapped, leading to several misunderstandings of Jerry's words.

They were just getting off of the plane, a swell of passengers happy to finally stretch their legs after such a long trip. Many started chatting on their smart phones, calling for friends, family, cabs, and other sorts of transportation. Jerry said something, but Tom couldn't hear it, so he just stayed close to him and shadowed him as they swiftly moved through the airport. Jerry seemed to be in a hurry, and, while he might have told Tom why, there was no way he could possibly have heard it.

Jerry had scheduled a cab three days prior to their return, and Tom was extremely happy to see it waiting for them the instant they got outside. The first thing he noticed about L.A. was the heat; it wasn't unbearable if one was dressed properly, but his sweatshirt and jeans from rainy springtime London trapped him in a bubble of sweat and agony. He ripped off his sweater as fast as he could, revealing a plain white t-shirt as they entered their cab. Their driver took care of the luggage, and before they knew it they were off to Jerry's apartment.

Tom realized he hadn't turned on his cell yet, so he pulled it out of his pocket and activated it. Within ten seconds it buzzed at least ten times, but for all he cared it only had to buzz once if Alex was the one who sent the message.

After scrolling through many "goodbye" and "safe travel" texts from his friends back in England, he finally found one from his best friend

FROM: ALEX

Hey Tom! Excited to finally see you again today! Soccer practice ends at 4:30, dinner at 6? We can get a great burger a few minutes from my place.

A stupid grin permeated Tom's face as soon as he read that. If he didn't know any better, he would think Alex was asking him out on a date. It would never happen, of course, and Tom realized that instantly. He realized he was thinking of Alex romantically more and more recently. He didn't know if it was because he was finally going to see him after an extended period of time and this was his way of coping with the excitement, or if he was finally realizing how much he desired his best friend.

Tom looked out the window and watched as the world whizzed by at 80 kilometers...no...miles per hour. For an instant he was afraid the taxi driver was on the wrong side of the road, but then he remembered that Americans drove on the right side of the road. He kept forgetting that he wasn't in the U.K. anymore. America was a different place. The culture was almost the same, but for once he was going to be the kid with the accent. He chuckled at the prospect. He knew he would eventually develop an American one, but until then he was going to have deal with being singled out as the British kid.

He looked back at his phone and sent Alex his reply;

TO: ALEX

Sounds great! Can't wait to see you again!

He hit send and put away his phone, it was two o' clock and he knew Alex would likely be paying attention to his courses. The Pleasures were clear about how they expected him to perform in school; top marks or he would lose all of his freedoms until he got them. It was harsh and, seemingly, a tactic usually used on younger kids, but Alex had no problem adjusting to it. Now that he no longer worked for MI6 he was free to focus on his studies and, perhaps more importantly to Alex, his football...no...soccer team.

"How much longer until we get there" Tom asked his brother.

"Twenty minutes. It's a bit far into the city." Jerry responded.

Tom sighed and leaned his head against the window. He closed his eyes and listened to the bumping of the wheels against the pavement, the whistle of the air that they zoomed by.

Yup. This was going to be a long day.

I_I_I_I_I_I

She said,

"Give me that hand, please and the itch you can't control".

"Let me teach you how to handle all the sadness in your soul,"

"And we'll take that silver magic, and we'll aim it at the wall,"

She said, "Love might make you blind kid, but I wouldn't mind at all"

-Spring Awakening

I_I_I_I_I_I_I

The water flowed down his muscular figure as Alex showered after returning home from soccer practice. Alex didn't move, he just stood and soaked in the comfort. He suffered a nasty slide-tackle during a scrimmage and landed on his left shoulder. Nothing was broken, but it left a large bruise that started to purple after an hour or so. It was nothing compared to the pain Alex had endured on his past missions, but now that his time with MI6 was over, the things that once were insignificant took on greater effect and importance. Homework was now his biggest fear, rather than Scorpia's assassins. His weekends were now cluttered with soccer and time with his friends and, of course, Sabina.

Alex grabbed a bar of soap off the wall and began to lather his chest, moving down to his abdomen and making sure to clean off his privates, knowing that he promised Sabina that they'd have sex that night. He had heard from some of his friends that their girlfriends didn't like having sex from them, and he'd heard from one their girlfriends that she didn't like it because his junk smelled. He didn't want Sabina to suffer a smelly penis.
After cleaning his legs his gingerly attempted to clean his back, almost attempting to clean his shoulder but gave up after experiencing the shooting pain that came from the lightest touch. He sighed and grabbed the shampoo, squirted out a bit, and began to lather it in his hands.

As he maneuvered the substance through his golden hair he began to think about seeing Tom later. It was 5:00 when he got in the shower, and he was anticipating it being 5:30 when he got out. He wondered how he was doing, and why he decided to move out to California. Surely he wasn't the reason Tom came out here. No, there had to be a reason at home. Tom held a great respect for his brother, and Alex couldn't see him imposing his stay on Jerry. That meant Jerry had to have offered Tom to stay at his apartment. But why? Jerry had to have seen something or known about something at home that was so bad it prompted a move to the other side of world to get away from it.
It had to be bad. Alex wondered if he should ask about it. They were best friends, so surely it wouldn't be out of his place to do so. But would it be appropriate to ask during their first visit in months? Tom didn't ask Alex about Jack after his final mission...and Alex was glad he didn't.

Tears began to run down Alex's face, and not because he got soap in his eyes. He remembered his guardian and how much she meant to him. Jack was more than his parental figure, she was his friend. Regardless of how much they fought, Jack was always there for him, and he appreciated that more than she would ever know...it's too bad that he didn't get to tell her. He often found himself thinking about the horrible, firey way she died, and tried to keep telling himself that it was instant and painless.

He kept telling himself that, but the truth was he would never know. His tears began to mix with hot water and shampoo as he began to sob. He sobbed for Jack. He sobbed for his parents. He sobbed for his uncle. He sobbed for everyone he couldn't save in his missions. He sobbed for the year and a half he lost fighting terrorists and thwarting international plots. The wasn't the first time he did this, Alex was constantly plagued with fits of extreme depression and sadness ever since Jack died. He still visited a therapist two times a week, and while combining those visits with a normal life has helped him considerably, he couldn't control his own emotions, and he had learned not to suppress them. So he cried, but only when in the shower, for he wanted everyone to believe he was O.K. Even Sabina wasn't aware of these tears.

His crying was interrupted when he heard a call from outside the bathroom.

"Alex, is something wrong?" It was Sabina. "I heard crying!"

Crap. Thought Alex, she heard me. "Oh, uh, yeah...everything's fine. Just got some shampoo in my eyes, it stung really badly and I just started crying. No big deal." Hopefully she takes that explanation. Sabina was the last person he wanted thinking he was still suffering from short periods of depression. It worried her deeply, and he didn't want that.

"Oh, ok! Just making sure. You do know it's 5:45 right? You're supposed to see Tom in fifteen minutes!"

"Oh shi-I mean crap!" Alex wanted to swear, but Sabina's parents were strict about language in the house. "Thanks, Sab!"

"You're welcome, dummy!" Sabina said teasingly, "I'll see you after dinner!" Alex heard her walking away as he stepped out of the shower. He quickly threw on some clothing; khaki shorts and a green-and-blue button-down shirt with a black undershirt. He grabbed his phone off of the bathroom sink and checked his text messages, making sure Tom didn't get there early.

He did have one new message. He opened it up;

FROM: TOM

5:30PM

Hey Alex, Jerry's got somewhere to be so he dropped me off at Louie's already. I'll just chill here and wait for ya, no rush.

"FUCK!"

"ALEX!" Apparently, Sabina heard him.

"Sorry!"

I_I_I_I_I_I

It's the Bitch of Living,

(Bitch, just a bitch)

With nothing but your hand,

It's the Bitch of Living,

With something you can't stand.

-Spring Awakening

I_I_I_I_I_I

Tom was idly playing Angry Birds on his phone when Alex finally got to Louie's...ten minutes late.

Alex coolly walked into the diner with a smile on his face as he approached Tom. Was it just Tom, or did Alex get even hotter since the last time he saw him? His hair seemed brighter, his smile more genuine, his gaze more glowing. His body seemed more chiseled and defined than before. Perhaps it was because Tom hadn't seen him in months, and he was just getting used to seeing Alex in all of his glory once again.

Tom broke out of his trance when Alex said, "Tom! Long time no see!"

Tom got out of his chair and stood up to embrace Alex as he came toward him. The two locked each other in the warmest hug Tom received ever since he told his brother he was a homosexual. He resisted the urge to caress Alex's strong shoulders as they were held together. When they pulled apart, Alex kept a hand on Tom's shoulder, smiling and looking him in the eyes.

"I missed you. I'm so glad we get to see each other again." Said Alex as he pulled his hand away and pulled out a chair at the table Tom was sitting at. He sat down, and Tom followed suit. A waitress came by and took orders for their drinks, Alex asking for a Coke and Tom asking for water. She handed them menus and walked off to get their drinks.

"So, Tom, what have you been up to?"

"Eh. Nothing good has happened recently. I told you my parents got divorced...right?" Tom said, a bit of pain in his voice.

"I think so...I'm sorry, by the way."

"No, no...it's alright. I mean, at least I knew my parents, you know. I've always felt bad for you. I mean, sure, you had Jack, but..." Tom stopped when he saw Alex look down at the table.

"Sorry, I'll stop. We're just seeing each other again and I'm being depressing!"

"No, Tom, you're fine." Alex looked up again, "I understand."

The air got a bit tense, so Tom broke the silence, "So, wait, Alex, have you been to Hollywood yet?"

Alex shook his head, "No, and I know that's weird because we really aren't that far away. I think Sab was saying something about us going for a weekend over the summer. Something about her wanting to stalk Channing Tatum or something like that."

Tom laughed, "You don't get jealous over stuff like that?"

Alex smirked, "Of course not. You think she'd actually get with him? Besides, It's not like I don't look at porn and stuff. It's the same thing."

Tom saw a chance for a quip and took it, "Wait, you look at porn? Can you not get Sabina to put out or something?"

Alex turned red, "Shut up!" Tom started laughing. He didn't know if Alex was a virgin, but honestly he didn't care.

The waitress came back with their drinks and they ordered some nachos to split.

"So, Alex," Tom said, sipping his drink, "How's Sab doing, anyway?"

Alex smiled, "Great. She's really happy we can see each other easily now. It's a bit weird though, I mean, we're dating under the same roof, and being provided for by her parents. It's almost like we're brother and sister, but we're dating...and were dating beforehand...so it's not incest, it's just weird. Sab's compared it to a couple that moves into an apartment together."

Tom nodded, "Seems about right."

"What about you? Have a girl back home?

"I live in America now, Alex." Tom said with a grin, "But...nah, you know how the girls are at school. They're more interested in the football players than they are the normal kids."

"That's true everywhere, bud." Alex said, laughing. "Girls, we'll never understand 'em."

I don't have to. Thought Tom, but when will I tell Alex that?

The nachos arrived and they began to eat. After two minutes of nothing but the sound of crunching coming from their mouths, Alex spoke again.

"So, Tom, I guess I have to teach you about American sports now!"

"Yeah you do! Fill me in!"

I_I_I_I_I

It's the bitch of living

(Bitch, ah ah ah)

With nothing going on

It's the bitch of living

Asking

WHAT WENT WRONG?

-Spring Awakening

I_I_I_I_I

Alex was stretched out on his bed when Sabina came in.

"They gone?" He asked casually.

"They left ten minutes ago." Sabina said, crawling on top of Alex, tracing her fingers along his muscular chest, "Ready?"

I'm not sure. "Yes."

Sabina grinned and put her mouth over Alex's. Their tongues meeting for a dance as she stroked her hands through his hair. He put his hands under her shirt and began to peel it off, Sabina wasting no time in taking the job over from him and ripping it off. She saved him the trouble of taking off her bra as she undid the latch, revealing her breasts as she threw it off.

"It's been a while since we've done this." Sabina said with a mischievous smile.

"It's been a week!" Alex said, smirking.

Sabina took off his shirt and placed her hands on his pecks, "Too long."

Sabina did all the work as she unbuttoned Alex's pants. Regardless of the situation, however, Alex could not focus on her. Alex was wondering what Jerry meant by him "accepting" Tom earlier. He seemed a bit different at lunch, but not too different. It was something subtle...or maybe it wasn't. Something changed in Tom.

His train of thought was interrupted when Sabina took him into her mouth, her tongue dancing around his member. He let out a sigh of pleasure. Regardless of whether he wanted it or not, it felt good.

Still, as she went on, he let his mind wonder as he stroked her hair. What could it be about time that was so different? He couldn't blame him for any change he might have undergone, after all, being a spy certainly changed Alex more than he ever thought it would. But why did Jerry make sure to have promise to be accepting of...

"Ah!" Alex yelled as Sabina took him insider her wet vagina. She was so tight. She began to bounce up and down on him, her own moans filling the air.

Yet the entire time Alex could only think about Tom.

I_I_I_I_I

Tom opened a bottle of water as he turned on the T.V. in Jerry's apartment. It was a standard apartment, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a kitchen that connected to a small living room. He moved over to a blue sofa and took a seat as the T.V. flickered on. Alex said the Dodgers were playing some team called the Cubs that night, and apparently he should watch.

Jerry took a seat next to him, cracking open a beer. "What made you want to watch baseball?

"Alex said I should." Tom looked at Jerry, "Hey, when do I start school?"

"Next week. I have you enrolled at the same school as Alex."

"Cool."

Jerry smirked, "So you're watching baseball because Alex said to?"

Tom shoved him, "Shut up!"

Jerry did not relent, "Someone's whipped!"

"No, I'm not! How can I be whipped if we're not dating!"

Jerry chuckled, "Fine, maybe not whipped, but you're definitely doing it because you like him. Admit it."

Tom sighed, "Fine. But it's not going to happen. Alex has Sabina."

"I'll stop teasing you then."

Tom looked at the ground "Yes...it's just...it's just..."

"What?"

"Oh, God...what a bitch."