Epilogue

"Leonard H. McCoy, do you take Spock of Vulcan to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Spock of Vulcan, do you take Leonard H. McCoy to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Good. I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom," smiled Captain Kirk as finished marrying his two best friends.

The audience, which consisted of Spock's family and some of the Enterprise crew, clapped and cheered as they kissed. Sarek was quite content with his son's choice of mate and Amanda had never been happier as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Even Jim had to admit that he was a little misty-eyed.

The doctor looked down at his fancy new wedding ring. "You know, honey, I love this ring but I kinda miss my old plastic water bottle one."

When it came time for cake, Spock took the knife and carefully carved out a perfect slice which he promptly shoved into his husbands face. "I believe you would classify that as payback," he smirked.

Leonard smiled playfully as gathered the cake stuck to his face into his fist. "You green blooded bastard!" He smeared the cake all over the Vulcan's face and the guests gasped.

Spock simply licked it off of his lips and said, "You were correct, Leonard. It is very good cake."

After an unforgettable honeymoon on Vulcan, Leonard and Spock had to return to the Enterprise where the news of their sudden and unexpected marriage had already spread like wildfire. But another piece of gossip was also circulating around the ship and it was regarding a certain Doctor Joel Winson.

"Hey, Spock, Bones; did you hear about Joel?" Jim asked as he caught up to the newly-weds on their way to the bridge one morning.

Both stiffened uncomfortably at the mention of the name. "No," Bones replied gruffly. "But I sure as hell hope you're gonna tell me he fell out the airlock."

"Not quite. Turns out his doctorate degree was a fake so obviously Starfleet had to fire him from the science team, but now he's working for the cleaning crew, scrubbing toilets and doing our laundry!" Jim told them gleefully.

"Fascinating."

"Karma's a bitch, eh, Spock?" McCoy grinned as he Vulcan-kissed his hubby.

"Indeed."

"He's gonna transfer to another ship. Here everyone hates him for what he did to you and because they all know he was lying about being a scientist," explained Jim.

"I look forward to his transfer," said Spock.

"Me too. I hope he gets put on some clunky old freighter," scowled the doctor.

"That would be nice," agreed Jim.

"Speak of the devil…" grumbled Bones, for as they turned the corner, there was Joel Winson, scrubbing the floor where someone had spilled their coffee.

He looked up from his janitorial duties jumped when he saw his ex. "Spock!" he cried.

"Joel," Spock coldly acknowledged.

Joel got on his knees. "Look, Spock, I'm really sorry! I was stupid and I lied and I messed up! I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go! I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot! Please, give me another chance! I promise I'll do better this time and I'll never leave you ever again!" he pleaded, looking like the most pathetic and desperate man any of them had ever seen.

Spock glared at Joel for a few seconds, choosing his words very carefully. "Go to hell," he stated simply.

Jim and Bones smiled. "You tell him, sweetheart!" said the doctor as he grabbed Spock and pulled him into a human kiss which was enthusiastically returned.

Joel's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped with shock and horror. He stuttered nonsense as all words were lost on him. His eyes wandered to their left hands and he spotted two matching silver wedding bands.

After a good while, Leonard ended the kiss and wiped the saliva off of his chin. "Well come on, Spock, my dear, let's go to work." The two clasped hands and started to walk off towards the bridge. McCoy stopped and turned back. Joel was still in shock. "Oh, and Joel," he added, "I hope you're on laundry duty because my husband and I are going to need our sheets washed." Spock blushed emerald and Leonard led them away without another glance at the pitiful janitor.

When they were gone, Joel groaned and defeatedly rested his head against the cold metal wall. "Ugh. I need to get off of this ship!" he complained. And suddenly falling out the airlock didn't seem like such a bad thing after all.

The End!

Hope you all like that!

PS- If this were a movie I would totally cast Paul Rudd as Joel! Not that I have anything agaist Paul Rudd, it's just that one day I found myself randomly picturing him in Starfleet uniform and he looked pretty sexy... That is the origin of Joel...