There were people who praised the Uchiha as a genius and prodigy, the 'number 1 rookie' of his graduating class, with Haruno right up there with him as 'the smartest kunoichi'. Bah. Lies. There was a reason as well, of course. There was always a reason. Sometimes the best of the class was concealed for their own sake, just in case someone got the bright idea to cripple Konoha by eliminating their brightest new star. In fact, that was usually the case. Just not this time. This time, the reason people were lying was because they were all in denial. They didn't like the idea that 'the demon brat' could possibly be so good – even when all of his teachers (save Iruka) had been actively sabotaging his education since he entered the system.

So they denied it. They pointed to the Uchiha's skill in taijutsu and ninjutsu and that he would someday have the sharingan and called him the best. They talked about Haruno's excellent chakra control and that she had an affinity for genjutsu and said she was the brightest. Never mind that neither of them was any good at maintaining a low profile for more than two minutes without someone else tying them up and gagging them. They couldn't pick locks or move silently. They were both alright with their weapon exercises in the school yard, but beyond it? The Uchiha may be passable when he's the one in control of a situation, but that was as far as it went.

Uzumaki was the real genius, but people refused to see it, pointing instead to his failed bunshin, saying that if he couldn't do something so simple how could he possibly be any good? Never mind that a regular bunshin took very little chakra to make and the boy over-loaded the jutsu without even realising it. Never mind that his kage bunshin were all perfect and he could create legions of them easier than most jounin could create only five. Never mind that he did so well in every other class that was offered that it shouldn't matter he couldn't do one jutsu that didn't even get used in the field all that often.

His taijutsu was sloppy compared to the Uchiha, of course it was, he didn't have anybody willing to help him improve where as the Uchiha had people almost tripping over themselves to help him. Uzumaki didn't know lots of ninjutsu like the Uchiha either. No one was willing to teach them to him except for the basic academy three: henge, bunshin and kawarimi, and even those had all been taught to him by Iruka. He didn't have excellent book knowledge or chakra control like Haruno, but he had so much chakra that he should have really been learning to control it as soon as he was talking and talking, and most of the stuff in the books was only the heavy theory behind all the stuff that Uzumaki had learned in practicality. How to predict the trajectory of a kunai and the amount of tension required on a wire to control a weapon were things best understood through experience.

Uzumaki Naruto was a better ninja than both of his acclaimed classmates though. He knew how to move through crowds undetected, even in bright orange. He knew how to pick locks and how to glide through an almost empty room without being seen, smelt or heard. He knew how to scale walls without any hand- or foot-holds. He knew how to flip himself up into tree branches with enough time between himself and pursuers that they would continue beneath him, unaware that he was above them, and then behind them. He could hit most targets dead on from most angles with any of his kit – kunai, senbon, shuriken, and in any size. He knew how to set up camp, light a smokeless fire – even without matches – and break camp again so that it looked like nobody had been there at all. He knew how to find someone's weak point and subtly probe them for information. He knew how to hunt animals for food and kill them quickly, how to skin them, gut them, joint them and cook them. He knew which plants were good to eat and which were poisonous. He knew how to care for his weapons and how to recognise if the goods he was buying were quality or not. He even had that skill that was incredibly rare in people of his age: he knew how to manage his money responsibly. Uzumaki Naruto was a fast runner with excellent stamina. He could dodge and return fire at the same time. He could evade capture for hours, even to the point where he could pick who eventually caught him.

Of course, a lot of this was necessary knowledge for him just to survive in his home village from one day to the next. The henge, as soon as he'd learned it, had made his life suddenly much easier. It was galling that people had wanted to deny him something as common as a headband because he couldn't make a lousy bunshin, while others in his class who could do very little more than henge and bunshin were passed and granted that headband. At least Iruka had corrected that after the whole mess that had happened in the forest, and the Hokage had approved it, which vindicated him a little.

Now he just had to hope that they wouldn't put him on a team with the two who thought they were the best and would spend all their time calling him a loser. That would completely suck for a team.

~oOo~

"Oh hell no!" Naruto growled when the team listings were handed to him. "Come on Iruka-sensei, I thought you liked me! Do you want me to have to choose between slitting my own wrists or killing my team-mates for being stuck-up and annoying?" he asked quietly while the chuunin was still beside his desk.

"I didn't make the lists Naruto," Iruka said apologetically. "The council did, based on reports from the academy instructors."

Naruto groaned and thumped his head to the table. "Then they obviously missed the part where it said 'Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke have incompatible personalities' and want their precious Uchiha dead," he mumbled.

Iruka chuckled weakly. "It's worse," he said. "Your jounin instructor is Hatake Kakashi. He was a student of your father, but his best friend was an Uchiha who save his life and gave him his eye. He'll feel obligated to spend a lot of time teaching Sasuke how to use his sharingan if it surfaces."

"And my dad died in the Kyuubi attack, so if he really was a big fan of my dad, then he'll blame me for taking his sensei away from him too," Naruto said with a sigh. "Perfect. Just perfect."

Iruka gave Naruto a consoling pat on the shoulder. "Once you've participated in the chuunin exam you can request a transfer, whether you pass or not," he offered with a weak smile. "Or there's the bells test, which Haruno at least has a good chance of failing."

Naruto chuckled just as weakly and nodded in understanding. "Right," he huffed with a sigh, thumping his head onto the table again.

Rather than sitting there and wasting the who-knew-how-many-hours until Hatake – who was as famous for being late as he was for being deadly – deigned to show up, Naruto set to working on his chakra control. It really was the easiest thing to do while he was just sitting around waiting for things to happen, and if he did it with a genjutsu over himself so that people who only just entered the room wouldn't notice him. This was particularly useful as it meant that none of the other graduates would bother him, since he'd come early to talk to Iruka and was the first genin in the room, and he hadn't exactly graduated with the rest of the class.

So there was Naruto, sitting in the back row and calmly balancing leaves on the tips of his fingers, spinning them around on their tips slowly, every other one going clockwise while the others went counter-clockwise. Considering the massive amounts of chakra he had at his disposal, this was not only a somewhat difficult exercise, it was also a necessary one. It was also his favourite, since Iruka had given it to him as a challenge – the prize for getting the exercise to work on just two of his fingers within the month had been five bowls of ramen. Now he was up to a leaf on every digit – including toes if he wanted, but they were more wobbly and he couldn't do the alternating-spin-direction-thing that he could on his fingers.

As predicted, there was a minor uproar when it was announced that he was on a team at all, and a horrible screech from Haruno that he had been put onto her team with 'Sasuke-kun'.

"Uzumaki-san passed later that day," Iruka explained. "The Hokage approved it."

"Then where is he now?" Ino demanded. "Shouldn't he be here getting his team assignment? He'll drag down Sasuke-kun!"

"Uzumaki came early and already knows his assignment. He's just waiting for the jounin-sensei to come and collect him and his team-mates," Iruka answered calmly, fighting the urge to smirk and laugh, since Naruto was sitting in the back row and they shouldn't all be ignorant of his presence there. The Hyuuga girl at least should have seen through the genjutsu, even without her eyes activated. It was only a mild genjutsu after all.

The jounin started coming for their genin teams shortly after that, and Naruto contemplated all of the different jounins and their teams and which team he would prefer to be on, rather than the one that he was on. Aburame Shino was alright company: they could understand each other a little, since the other kids avoided him for his bugs like they'd avoided Naruto for no reason at all that they'd known. Nara Shikamaru too, but that was because he was too lazy to give a damn about prejudices, as evidenced by his best friend being Akimichi Choji, who other kids had picked on for his girth. Choji himself was also a great person, and really appreciated food.

They also all had subtle jutsu styles from their families. The kind of jutsu that enemies didn't know or think about until it was too late. Okay, Choji was a little more obvious than the other two, but he looked useless generally – and then someone invariably called him 'fat' or 'lard-arse' and had to be taught the hard way that you don't say those things to an Akimichi, especially a young one who's still a little sensitive about that stuff.

The jounin on the other hand, that was trickier. Naruto had met most of them briefly, but that was generally when they were chasing him or just passing in the halls on the way to meet with the Hokage for his history lessons with the old 'Professor'. Hey, if he wanted to be the Hokage himself someday, then he needed to know everything he could about the ones who had come before him. He'd been reverse-engineering some of their techniques from the stories he'd get from the old man even, and now that his control was better he was having more success with it. That kunoichi who'd taken the team with the Inuzuka, the Hyuuga and Shino looked like someone who was taking the job seriously, which meant she was a cut above all the other jounin who had been assigned teams. Naruto didn't recognise her either, so he guessed she was recently promoted. It probably explained why she looked so serious about the responsibility: she had something to prove as a new jounin and a kunoichi.

"Team 7?"

Had it really been hours already?

"You're our jounin-sensei?" Haruno asked. "You're late!"

"I was busy. Where's the third one?" Hatake questioned.

"Iruka-sensei said he came early and then left to wait for the jounin instructor to arrive," Uchiha supplied.

Naruto sighed, loudly. "No, he said that I was just waiting for the jounin to arrive," he said, not letting the genjutsu drop. "He never said I left," he pointed out. "Seriously. Use your brains. Or your eyes in conjunction with your chakra senses at least."

"Kai!" Hatake snapped, breaking Naruto's genjutsu.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Naruto said, more focused on the leaves that were leaping up and doing figure-eights and weaving in and out of each other before returning to his fingertips to spin some more than his new team-mates.

Hatake's expression was mostly hidden beneath his mask and the headband over one eye, but the small portion that was visible indicated a frown. "Meet on the roof," he instructed before disappearing with a small swirl of leaves.

Naruto ignored the slightly stunned looks that were also half-glares from his team-mates and collected the leaves to stick onto the back of his hands before he hopped out the window and pulling himself straight up, one window-frame at a time like a monkey might have. He ignored Haruno's yell and was the first one up on the roof apart from Hatake.

"Are you going to be a problem Uzumaki?" Hatake asked lazily when Naruto arrived.

Naruto frowned and pulled a quick henge so that he looked like his father the fourth. After being tricked by Mizuki and finding out about the Kyuubi, Naruto had asked the Hokage what other secrets he was keeping for his own safety. After all, others knowing was the problem. Him not knowing was just going to cause problems for him.

"I guess that depends on your attitude, doesn't it?" he asked sternly.

Hatake's single visible eye grew wide and even through the mask it was clear that he swallowed tensely, and then that eye narrowed with hate.

Naruto sighed and manipulated the henge so that rather than just dispelling it with a puff of chakra, the image regressed into his regular appearance. The henge was gone just in time for Haruno and Uchiha to come through the door on the roof and join them.

"Okay, so since we'll be a team from now on, we should get to know each other," Hatake said, radiating false cheer. "Tell me your name, a like, a dislike and your dream," he instructed.

"Uzumaki Naruto," the blonde said flatly without prompting or squirming, knowing that if someone didn't say something then Haruno would just ask Hatake, and that would get them nothing anyway. "I like to learn stuff, even if the stuff I end up learning isn't always nice. I dislike people who make judgements without gathering the true and real facts for themselves and just rely on what other people say when they have no idea what they're talking about either. My dream is to be respected for all the things that I've done for the village."

"You defaced the Hokage Monument!" Haruno screeched. "You want to be respected for that?"

"I was talking about things like saving people from something terrible," Naruto corrected with a raised eyebrow. "Not necessarily things I've done already, but this is a some-day dream that gives me plenty of time to do things to be respected for."

Hatake sighed. "You next pinkie."

"Haruno Sakura. I like..." she glanced at the Uchiha and squirmed happily. "I dislike Uzumaki and that I'm on his team!" she added more firmly and decisively. "My dream is..." again she trailed off, glanced at the black-haired boy and had a fit of fan-girl happy.

"Uchiha Sasuke. I like training and dislike being weak. My goal... there is a person I need to kill."

Naruto rolled his eyes at his team-mates. Yeah, it was going to completely suck being on a team with those two, and with Hatake for jounin-sensei.

~oOo~

Two genin and a jounin were tied to three of the wooden posts at the Memorial Stone while the third genin held the bells loosely by their strings from where he was perched on a tree branch, looking down at all of them with a pile of lunch boxes beside him. But let's rewind to a little earlier in the day so we can see exactly how this came to be:

Uzumaki arrived exactly on time, according to the time that Hatake had told them to meet at the training ground, a light breakfast in his stomach, four muesli bars in different pockets for a light lunch, and a training plan in his head ready to use his time wisely until Hatake showed up. This turned out to be only half an hour later, but Haruno and Uchiha had wasted the time completely, just sitting around watching Naruto slowly go through his stances. Haruno had screemed at Hatake for being late, and there had been a dumb excuse about a black cat crossing his path.

Then, on Hatake's orders, Uchiha and Haruno had handed over their lunches for until after the test.

"Where's your lunch box Naruto?" Haruno asked.

"The shops refuse to sell me a lunch box," Naruto answered simply, reaching into his pocket and pulling out one of his muesli bars. "I've got this," he said. "But carrying this around while we do whatever isn't going to get in my way like a lunch box would." So saying, he'd shoved it back in his pocket while Hatake piled the genin's lunch boxes on top of his and set them beside the Memorial Stone before pulling two bells out of a pocket and explaining the exercise to them.

Before he was completely finished with the consequences of failing this little test, the bells were no longer in his hand but in Naruto's instead. They hadn't even tinkled. Of course, this meant that Hatake had to get them back for the bells test, which was still on apparently, as Haruno and Uchiha both chased after him as well in an effort to get one or both of the bells for themselves.

The chase had gone once around the training field before Haruno was tied to a post, after the second circuit Uchiha was tied up beside her, and shortly before Uzumaki came to rest on his tree-branch at the end of the third lap Hatake was knocked out, with his hands very securely bound behind him while he was tied to the third log with his legs stretched out and his feet pinned down as well. This brings us back to where we walked in.

"I guess you're all going back to the Academy then," Uzumaki said. "According to Hatake's own rules: those without a bell by lunch time would be going without lunch and then right back to the Academy. Now, do I care to peek into your lunches?" he asked, pulling off a lid with one hand even as the other unwrapped a muesli bar and he started munching. "Ah. This one must belong to you, Uchiha. Nothing in here was cooked that wasn't bought that way. You have only been on your own for two years after all. Can't expect you to have learned anything about cooking," Naruto said, almost sneering as he set the box aside and moving onto the next.

"Haruno's." It was rather obvious really, even without opening the lid. It was a pink lunch box with a bunch of darker pink flowers on it. "Ooh, good lunch. Mummy made it I suppose, since there's also things like cooked meat and vegetables in there along with the rice. Haruno is too concerned about her waist-line and her hair. Would have only wanted and had the time to make the rice," he said, then picked up a thin strip of meat delicately with the tip of a kunai. "Tasty."

He put the lid of that lunch box back into its proper place again though and moved onto the last one: Hatake's. Naruto snorted. "Well if he's been living alone for as long as he has I suppose he had to learn to cook, didn't he?" he commented. "Fish, noodles, rice, vegetables, fruit, all neatly compartmentalised and not even a smear of sauce or a grain of rice where it's not meant to be."

"I think that Hatake-san is a little obsessive-compulsive about his lunch box," advised a man in AnBu uniform with a bear mask over his face who was suddenly hanging from the same branch as Naruto, just directly below him. "You know when I report this bells test to the Hokage he's going to want to come out here himself to see right? Probably laugh too."

Naruto nodded, not in the least bit surprised by the appearance of the AnBu. Uchiha and Haruno were gaping however. "Go ahead Bear-san. I'll hold off on eating any more of their lunches until you and the Hokage get back. I'm sure Otter-san will be able to handle the supervision for a while by herself. Won't you Otter-san?" he called softly.

A pleasant chuckle came from the branch above Naruto, revealing the female AnBu who was standing there as well, an otter mask hiding her face. "Certainly," she agreed.

"Be back soon," Bear said, dropping from the branch, twisting to land on his feet rather than his head, and then disappearing towards the Hokage Tower at a sprint.

The Hokage did come, and he did laugh. He laughed even harder when he got the full story of what exactly had happened. The Hokage even sent all three of them back to the Academy once Naruto had untied them. Yes, Hatake as well. That had to be an ego-popper, right up there with getting trussed up by an Academy-fresh genin.

Uzumaki Naruto was taken on as an apprentice by the Hokage instead. Officially, rather than just letting the brat come and sit in his office and listen to stories of the previous Hokages. A kage bunshin could handle the paperwork a couple of days a week for him to supervise the boy's training.

~The End~