Her Nineteenth Birthday

RPOV

I opened my eyes to what should have been darkness. It was dim light. I looked at the alarm clock beside my bed... 5:30. I should have still been asleep. Suddenly... I realised why I was awake so early... and it wasn't something I wanted to think about.

I slipped out of bed, focussed on what I was doing and doing everything I could to avoid thinking. I'd known this was coming and I had a plan to avoid it. I just had to get through today without bringing up all those unpleasant memories.

I got out of the shower and dressed in my standard guardian uniform- black slacks, white stretchy blouse and black jacket, slipping my stake into my pocket and tying my hair up into a high ponytail. I was just slipping into my comfortable black flats when Dimitri came into the bathroom.

"Rose? What are you doing?" he asked, confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to the mirror and pushing my gold studs through my ears.

"Why are you dressed for work? Lissa and Christian gave us the day off today," Dimitri said.

I nodded, "I know... but a couple of guardians wanted to take today off, so I picked up some extra patrol shifts."

"But... today of all days..." Dimitri began.

"Look, I'd better go. My shift starts at 7," I said.

Dimitri looked shocked, "Do you want to get some breakfast first? If you give me five minutes we can go to one of the diners."

I shook my head, "No, I'm okay... I'm not hungry."

"What? Are you feeling okay?" Dimitri asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," I kissed his cheek, "I'll see you tonight, Comrade. Love you."

I walked around Dimitri and out of our apartment.

"Love you too," he called.

DPOV

I was at Lissa's apartment within twenty minutes of Rose leaving. I pounded on the door, desperate for answers on Rose's strange behaviour. One of her guardians answered the door.

"Guardian Belikov," he greeted stiffly.

I nodded, "Is Queen Vasilisa here?"

"Yes... is she expecting you?" the guardian asked.

"No... I have the day off, but it is imperative that I speak with her," I said.

"Hold on a moment," the guardian said.

He pulled out a pager and typed something into it. Within a few moments, Lissa was walking towards the door with two guardians flanking her.

"Your Majesty, Guardian Belikov wishes to speak with you. Shall we send him in after the security check?" the guardian asked softly.

"No security check is necessary," Lissa turned to me, "Dimitri, come on in."

I smiled gratefully and followed her to her living room.

"Please, sit," she gestured to the sofa, "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you," I said.

Lissa sat down opposite me, "Where's Rose? Shouldn't you be together, celebrating her birthday?"

"That's the problem... when I woke up this morning; Rose was already awake, dressed in her uniform. She said that she had taken extra shifts. Why would she want to work on her birthday?" I suddenly realised that Lissa was in a silky pink robe, "Did I wake you?"

"Don't worry about it," Lissa shrugged it off, "This is important. Did Rose mention her birthday at all?"

"No... it was almost as if she was avoiding it," I said.

"Oh... I was afraid of this," Lissa sighed.

Confusion coursed through me, "Why? Why is Rose avoiding her birthday?"

"Don't you know?" Lissa asked.

"Know what?"

She avoided my eyes.

"Lissa, what aren't you telling me?" I demanded.

"Did Rose ever tell you about her eighteenth birthday?" she asked.

I thought back to this time last year. It was a week after my turning... I'd been retreating with the other Strigoi to Russia. I hadn't spared Rose one thought. Nausea grew in my stomach as I thought of Rose and when I was Strigoi... I pushed it down.

"I never thought to ask."

"I don't think Rose wanted you to know," Lissa hesitated before continuing, "What you have to understand is that when Rose was trying to win you back, after you turned... she wasn't trying to make you feel guilty about what she did to get you back... she just wanted to give you a reason to want her."

"I don't understand... what aren't you telling me? What happened on Rose's eighteenth birthday?" I asked.

"She dropped out," Lissa whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Rose dropped out of the Academy on her birthday. She got some money from Adrian and she left for Russia... to kill you," Lissa whispered.

I put my head in my hands. How had I not realised? She'd mentioned the sacrifices she'd made for me... but I never truly let myself consider them.

"What else did she do for me?" I choked out.

"Pardon?"

"What else did Rose do to get me back?" I asked.

"How much do you know?" Lissa asked.

I knew that Lissa already knew what I did to Rose as a Strigoi. Thankful that I didn't have to live through it again I said, "Only what I was there for... and that she told my family."

"Okay..." she launched into the tale.

I sat still for well over an hour as she described what Rose had done... I hadn't known the extent of it... I knew that she'd dropped out... but on her birthday. Now I understood her aversion to celebrating it. Bringing up those memories... that heartache...

I also learned about Victor Dashkov's escape... how she'd planned it all out and how she'd enlisted the help of Lissa and Eddie Castile. I was amazed. She broke her greatest enemy out of prison... for me. Guilt raced through me.

I'd known that she'd stopped Eddie from killing me... leading to a falling out between them. But I hadn't known about the consequences of her little escapade... something she would have hated... being forced into a desk job and being taken away from Lissa.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.

"I didn't want to spoil your recovery," she whispered back, "Every time you saw or spoke to or heard of her, you were so broken. I felt responsible for you... I needed to protect you and if not mentioning Rose did that, then that's what I did... no matter how much it hurt her, no matter how hard it was for me."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Because she didn't want to cause you guilt. And I know that she felt that all that pain and suffering was worth it."

"Then why won't she celebrate her birthday?" I asked, agonised.

"Why bring up all those awful memories? Why feel that pain again?" Lissa replied.

"How can I ever make this up to her?" I whispered, my question rhetorical, "Eighteen is supposed to be special and I ruined it."

"You can't... all you can do is make nineteen special," Lissa said.

"Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this."

I buried my face in my hands.

RPOV

I should have taken desk work. At least that would have kept my mind busier. Patrolling was far too simple and it left me too much time to think.

Surveying my surroundings, I fought desperately not to dwell on the past. I couldn't let those memories rule me. I had everything I'd wanted... Dimitri and Lissa.

But, back then, I hadn't known that I would eventually get what I wanted. And just like that, all of the heartbreak and the pain came flooding back. The memories filled my mind, my eyes and it was a wonder my legs didn't collapse from the weight of the depression in my mind.

A stick snapped behind me, dragging me back to reality. I swallowed, forcing the tears back and pushing the memories deep down inside of me. I knew they'd resurface, but they could do so when I wasn't possibly facing a threat.

I pulled my stake out and turned around.

"Who's there?" I demanded.

The other guardian I was rostered on with stepped out from the trees.

"Sorry, Guardian Hathaway, I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't. Where did you go anyway?" I asked, slipping my stake back into my pocket.

"I told you... they needed some help on the East side."

"Oh. Sorry, I mustn't have heard you," I said apologetically.

"Are you okay, Guardian Hathaway?" the guardian asked.

"I'm fine. I was just trying to focus on something I thought I saw," I lied.

"Okay..." I didn't think he believed me.

"It's fine... it was nothing."

I turned back and continued scanning the perimeter. I refused to let my past distract me from doing my job. That wasn't me.

It just wasn't me.

I returned back to the apartment at 8pm. I was exhausted from patrolling for so long without a break. Unfortunately, the absence of a task left my mind free to wander.

The memories I'd repressed before came bubbling to the surface. As I pulled my keys out of my pocket, the feelings of hopelessness, loneliness and heartbreak washed over me. My hands trembled as tears formed in my eyes. I couldn't let myself break down... that wasn't what Rose Hathaway did.

I opened the door and walked softly into the silent apartment. I didn't bother to call out to Dimitri... I couldn't let him see me like this and know why I felt so upset. I wouldn't let him blame himself and feel guilty... I didn't blame him.

"Rose?" Dimitri called.

I didn't answer. All of the memories were overwhelming and I felt myself collapse against the wall, silently fighting the tears.

"Rose," Dimitri stepped into the hallway.

His eyes met mine and all of the tears fell down my cheeks. Some were tears of relief... that he was with me and no longer Strigoi and some where tears of pain, for what I'd gone through when he was gone and the pain I was now reliving.

"Rose," he whispered, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

I threw my arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shh, Roza," he whispered, rubbing my back soothingly, "It's okay."

As I sobbed, I forced the bad memories down. It was done and everything was okay. I had Dimitri. I had Lissa. I had everything I wanted.

"That's it," Dimitri whispered as the tears stopped, "Leave the past in the past. I'm here. You're here. Everything's okay."

I waited until my tears had completely stopped to talk, "How did you know?"

"When you wouldn't acknowledge your birthday, I knew something was up. I went to Lissa and she told me everything," he replied, stroking my hair.

"What? She had no right to do that! Why did she tell you?" I cried.

"The better question is why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I didn't want you to feel guilty... I knew you would," I explained.

"But I ruined your eighteenth birthday," he protested.

"No," I corrected him, "Nathan ruined my birthday."

"Well then let me fix this birthday," he whispered, leaning down to kiss me.

DPOV

I arranged dinner reservations for Rose and I, Lissa and Christian, Eddie and Mia and Rose's parents to celebrate her birthday. I'd organised it a while ago without Rose knowing and wanted to use the opportunity to make up for her completely horrible eighteenth birthday.

"What's this?" Rose asked, stepping out of the closet wearing a white towel, her damp hair flowing down her back, holding up a clothing bag.

"Happy Birthday, Roza," I smiled from the bed.

Rose looked at the bag curiously and slowly slid down the zip. She gasped at the black dress inside.

"Oh, my... Dimitri, it's beautiful," she gasped.

"Lissa helped me pick it out," I was so happy she liked it.

"It's just like the one..."

"From the lust charm... I know," I finished her sentence.

"Thank you," she said happily.

"Go and put it on. We have to leave in," I checked my watch, "five minutes."

"You don't have to take me out for dinner Dimitri. I'm more than happy to just stay here," she called from the closet.

"It's your birthday... I want to make it special," I replied loudly so that she could hear.

She stepped out of the closet, the dress hanging loosely from her body.

"Can you zip me up?"

I nodded and moved so I was standing behind her. Slowly I pulled the zipper up. The dress instantly became tighter and hugged her curves. Even from the back, she looked amazing. She turned around so that she was facing me.

"How do I look?" she whispered.

"Beautiful," I murmured, mesmerised.

I moved slowly, bending my head down to hers and gently kissing her. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer. My hands moved of their own accord to her waist. I fought for control, reminding myself that we had somewhere to be.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked breathlessly, pulling away.

"I just have to do my hair," she replied, stepping backwards.

"Okay... be quick," I sat down on the bed.

Rose was out within three minutes. She looked simple, but perfect, as always. Her hair was dry and down with the front pinned back. I wanted to run my hands through the silky strands. She had put small gold hoops in her ears and had applied some lipstick and mascara.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Perfect... I don't want to leave anymore," I stood from the bed.

"Good, let's stay here," she replied.

"And waste that beautiful dress?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Absolutely... I bet it looks even better off of me," she smiled seductively.

I swallowed hard, "I'm sure it does... but we're not going to find out right now."

"Why?" she pouted.

"Because Lissa went to a lot of effort to arrange these reservations for us," I lied.

"Okay... let's go," she sighed.

We walked hand in hand through Court to the most expensive, elegant restaurant around.

"No," Rose stopped when she realised that's where we were headed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"No way am I letting you waste all of your money on me. That place charges like $100 for a steak!" she protested.

I chuckled in amusement, "I think you'll find it's $25, Rose."

"Whatever... that's beside the point!" she replied.

"Come on Rose," I tugged on her hand.

She shook her head.

"Please?" I pleaded.

Her frown faltered for a moment and I knew I was wearing her down.

"It's one dinner."

No response.

"If it makes you feel any better we won't even order desert," I lied.

She smiled, "This is me you're talking to... when have I ever been able to resist desert?"

She took my hand and we continued walking. We reached the restaurant and I told the waiter that we had a reservation under Belikov. We were led through the main room to a smaller room, one I knew to be the event room.

"Aren't we eating over there?" Rose pointed to the main room.

I pretended to frown in confusion, "Lissa must've booked us the room."

Rose shrugged and twisted the doorknob. I held my breath in anticipation as she opened the door.

"Surprise!"

Rose flinched in surprise as our friends jumped out from behind the table. I grinned at her.

"Happy birthday," Lissa ran forward and hugged Rose.

"You little sneak," she laughed, pointing at me.

"Do you like it?" Lissa pulled back, grinning.

Rose nodded. We stepped into the room and closed the door behind us. I watched Rose joking with Eddie, taunting Christian, laughing with Mia and smiling with Lissa. I was content to just sit, watching Rose be Rose.

"Boo," Eddie said softly, leaning against the wall beside me.

"Hello, Eddie," I replied, my eyes never leaving Rose.

"She's happy with you, you know," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"I can see it... you're watching her and you're full of concern, almost like you're worried that you're not good enough for her," Eddie said.

"Look at the pain I caused her... last year and now it's reaching out and destroying everything she cares about."

"She's strong... she got through that and you'll help her get through this."

"I'm not so sure."

"Yeah, well I am... Look, you didn't see how she was when you were gone. She was devastated... and then when you got back, we got her back. Maybe you don't see the effect you have on her... but the rest of us do," he said decisively.

I smiled, "That means a lot coming from you."

"Coming from me?" Eddie asked in surprise.

"You're like an older brother to Rose. It means a lot to know that you think I'm good enough for her," I explained.

"Thanks," Eddie smiled, "Ever since Spokane, I've felt like Rose is sister to me."

Spokane... I swallowed and fought not to remember the worry and concern I'd felt, not knowing where she was and then the fear I'd felt when I saw her, laying over Mason's body protectively... so broken and filled with agony.

"That must've been hard for you," I said softly.

"Yeah... it was hard, but I had it easy. I don't remember it and I didn't see Mase... die," Eddie swallowed hard before continuing, "Rose saw everything... and I know she blamed herself until she saw him."

I winced at the thought of Rose seeing ghosts.

"I'm sorry... no one seemed to acknowledge that Mason was your best friend... they only remembered that he and Rose were dating," I said, ignoring the twinge in my chest at the thought of Rose dating someone else.

"She acknowledged it... but thank you. I'm over it now."

"For the record... I think it made you a fantastic guardian," I said, smiling to Rose as she called me over.

RPOV

Dinner was delicious and Lissa had organised a scrumptious chocolate birthday cake for me. I'd decided to let loose for once and had kept the drinks coming all night. Despite our big plans for the night, Dimitri and I had remained at the restaurant with everyone else until the waiters had finally had to come and kick us out. The only reason we'd stayed so long was because they hadn't wanted to kick the Queen out.

I'd gotten some great presents. Lissa had provided the party itself and had also given me a beautiful gold chain with a tiny pearl pendant hanging off of it. Christian had given me a hand drawn picture of two stick figures fighting with CHRISTIAN RULES written across the top. Eddie and Mia had given me a photo frame with a group picture of us all in it.

The waiter who'd come into kick us out had just left.

"Come on Rose," Dimitri said, scooping me up into his arms.

I was pretty drunk and allowed him to carry me back.

"Bye," I waved to Lissa and Christian as Dimitri carried me home.

"Rose... what am I going to do with you?" he asked amused.

"I'm sorry," I slurred, resting my head on his shoulder.

"For what?" he asked.

"Getting drunk," I replied.

"It's okay to let loose ever once in a while," he told me as we reached the apartment.

"Okay," I mumbled, my eyelids drooping.

I felt Dimitri place me down on the bed. He slipped my shoes off and covered me with the covers. After a moment, I felt him climb in beside me and take me into his arms.

"Happy birthday Roza," he whispered.

I smiled and settled onto his chest. I'd had the best birthday I'd ever had and I intended to tell Dimitri so... in the morning.