Title: Introductions Gone Awry

Author: Writing with Sprite

A/N: All characters belong to Anthony Horwitz. Thanks for letting me play around in your sandbox.

Thanks for reading! This is just an updated, slightly revised version.

"So, class, I'd like to get to know you this year as I am a new teacher at Brookland Comprehensive. I'm sure most of you boys know each other by now, so pick someone and talk to them, and introduce them to the class. We'll spend the first fifteen minutes of class on this activity," the teacher said. She checked her watch. "Ready… set… go!"

Instantly, the room was chaos, full of talking boys. Now fifteen year old blonde haired blue eyed Alex Rider grinned evenly at his best mate Tom Harris, his best friend. Tom Harris had dark hair, was fifteen years old, and wore a T-shirt that proclaimed, "Stop interrupting me when I'm ignoring you." Somehow Tom always got around the dress code at school.

Although Alex was now an almost professional MI6 spy, that didn't matter; he was still a teenager, and as every teenager knows, new teacher = fresh meat.

"So, Tom Harris," he drawled, speaking in an obviously fake American Southern Accent, "Tell me about yourself."

Tom stuck his tongue out at Alex. "Can we leave out the part about how my parents were divorced? I really don't need crap from the whole classroom."

Chuckling, Alex responded, "'Course we can, mate. Now… tell me about yourself."

"Let's see… fifteen, I enjoy any sport except for golf; I enjoy kicking ass-"

"Language, Harris!" the teacher called. Her red shirt brushed against the chalkboard. Her eyes glittered with a friendly smile as she made her way towards the two teenage boys. "Alex Rider, I presume?"

"Yes," he said, wondering on earth where she was going with this.

"Well, I'm very glad to see you're back. I'm told you have quite a lot of absences," she said with a playful smile. "How about you tell us what you really did on your vacation?"

Tom and Alex exchanged looks. Oh, this was going to be fun.

"Okay, folks!" the teacher said as she once more checked her Rolex. "Time's up!"

"We'll go first!" Tom said, waving his hand obnoxiously in the air. "I'm introducing Alex and Alex is introducing me."

"Oh, come on," one of the students in the back of the class called. "We all know about the great druggie."

Tom smirked at the man. "This is Alex Rider. It is his second year in Brookland Comprehensive – the school where there are many boys who are asses…"

"Harris!" the teacher called.

Alex coughed, desperately hiding the smile on his face.

"He enjoys reading… writing… Any kind of sport…"

"And flunking all his classes!" a boy in the back shouted. Alex threw his stress ball at him.

"And he enjoys taking down criminals for MI6." Tom Harris bowed at the teacher. "He spent his summer tracking down the great Yassen Gregariousness…." Alex grinned, knowing Tom was exaggerating the assassins' last name.

You could have heard a pin drop in the classroom.

The teacher sighed as she looked at her watch. "How about the truth, Harris?"

"Oh. Well, if you must know, he spent the summer with me playing video games about beating assassins and almost getting eaten by a man-o'-war."

Tom sat down. Now it was Alex's turn, and time to pay his friend back.

"This is my friend, Tom Harris. Most of you think that I'm the druggie… but you should see his secret stash in his locker…" Alex grinned back at Tom Harris, knowing that the rumor would be easily dispelled, "and you of course know that Tom Harris has feelings for Michael Knight. In fact, he made out with him once on the swing set…"

"Hey!" Michael Knight said from the back of the classroom. "That ain't true!"

"Okay, boys, that's a wrap!" the teacher said.

Alex smirked at Tom, who nodded back with a smile. Both were content, satisfied they'd made enough ruckus for the first day of school.

That is, until both boys got to their lockers after school and found the police at Tom Harris's locker, with a search warrant to open it up.

FINISHED