Dinner at Number Four - ALTERNATE ENDING
by Rainsong ~~~~~
A/N: Ok, I must agree with Elspeth, the ending was a deus ex machina. Honestly, it was done because I wanted to end it swiftly without a Dursley death (I try and keep it realistic.), so Snape came to mind. Trust me, I'm more displeased with myself than any of you are with me. Being a perfectionist, I've crafted an alternate final chapter.
Hope its a bit better. Thanks for the constructive criticism!
~~~~
"So, Mr. Black, have you lived here all your life?" Aunt Petunia said, making another daring stab at conversation.
"Yes, I have actually. I grew up outside of London, and have lived there for most of my life." Sirius replied.
"Thats nice. I don't fancy traveling myself. We never did much of it when I was growing up. Its nice to stay in a comfortable area, so I was lucky to meet Vernon right here in Little Whingling." Aunt Petunia said, smiling at Uncle Vernon, who smiled nervously back.
"When did you two get married?" Sirius asked, for the first time looking genuinely curious.
"December of 1980." Aunt Petunia said, suddenly looking a little paler than usual.
Aunt Marge seemed to notice the same thing, because she voiced what Aunt Petunia was probably worrying about.
"Don't worry, Petunia. There was no need for you to invite him or those Potters to your wedding. They probably wouldn't have dressed properly anyway." she said, taking another glass of sherry to her lips.
"Now Marge.." Uncle Vernon said gruffly, looking a little irked at Marge's behavior.
"Don't 'Now Marge' me, Vernon. I know how to spot 'em, and this guest of yours has the same look about him that Potter did. Trouble, trouble, TROUBLE." Aunt Marge said, waving her hand drunkenly.
"Look, Ms. Dursley," Sirius began, growing frustrated again. "You obviously don't like me or my family. Do you think it could be remotely possible to keep your remarks to yourself until I'm gone?" he said.
"Sir, I don't hide from confrontation. And I won't back down on my opinions either just because it hurts your oh-so-delicate feelings. Quit the politeness and fight like a man." Aunt Marge said, her words drunkenly slurred together. "Anyway, its not like I'm judging you blindly. If you were so close to that Potter trash, you obviously can't be worth much of my consideration. Nutters, those two were." Aunt Marge continued.
"They were not." Harry said before he could stop himself. Still, it was oddly empowering to echo on his words before escaping on the Knight Bus before third year.
"Oh, come on. It was disaster in the making. I could probably map out their last hours perfectly. Its quite a short story. They got drunk, drove off, and wham!" Aunt Marge dramatically clapped her hands "Straight into a tree and straight to the undertaker." Aunt Marge said, still staring at Sirius.
"Don't talk about things you couldn't even begin to comprehend." Sirius growled, trying his best to stay seated.
"What? Oh, you're one of those who so adamantly believes that they didn't die in a car crash. Their boy here said the same thing last year. Obviously a load of rubbish." Aunt Marge said.
"They died fighting so that horrible Muggles like yourself could go on living!" Sirius erupted, looking murderous.
"Muggle? What's that, biker slang?" Aunt Marge shouted, standing up once more.
Sirius stood up too, ready to face Aunt Marge's wrath.
"You're just the same as those two were. Petunia and Vernon told me a spot about you before you arrived. Best man at their 'wedding', if you'd call it that. And you're the godfather to the boy. Obviously you knew that good-for-nothing wastrel Potter quite well, eh?" Aunt Marge said
"Oh, yes, 'quite well'! Best friend I ever had! And if he was here right now, listening to what you're saying about his wife and son, he'd have cursed you into oblivion by now! I have half a mind to do that myself!" Sirius shouted.
Harry suddenly got a feeling of dread. If Sirius cursed Aunt Marge, and her memory had to be modified, the Ministry wizards might show up. Sirius had just gotten acquitted; he really didn't need to go back to Azkaban on charges of Muggle abuse.
"But Potter's not here, is he? He's dead. Serves him right, too. The world is better off without him! And what's this about 'cursing' me. So you're a wizard now?" Aunt Marge said, laughing.
"Like I said, you shouldn't talk about things you don't understand!" Sirius replied.
"Stop it!" Harry yelled, standing up and glaring at both of them. "This is insane. Neither of you to have any idea what the other is talking about, alright? This entire night was meant to be a peaceful dining experience. Aunt Marge, stop talking about my parents for ONE night. Sirius, don't lose your temper, she's a confused Muggle." he said. Having said his piece, Harry sat back down, feeling slightly embarrassed to be the one to have to end that particular argument.
"I WILL NOT BE TOLD WHAT TO DO BY SOME FOUL, CRIMINAL TEENAGER! Get back into the cupboard where you belong, boy, before I call Ripper to escort you there!" Aunt Marge thundered.
Sirius looked at both of them curiously for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, but did you say 'cupboard'?"
"Yes, the one that he's lived in for his whole life. Hope the spiders are getting to you, boy!" Aunt Marge said scathingly.
"You forced Harry to live in a CUPBOARD?" Sirius asked the Dursleys, sounding more disbelieving than angry at that point.
Uncle Vernon chuckled nervously. "No, of course not! Our nephew, in a cupboard? No, he had a room. Guest room in fact. Little smaller than Dudley's, but that's to be expected, eh? You know, Marge has had a little too much sherry.." Uncle Vernon said shakily, throwing an open bottle of sherry over his shoulder, not noticing as its contents spilled all over the floor.
"Harry, did you live in a cupboard?" Sirius asked, turning back to his godson.
"Er...no?" Harry said, his answer sounding more like a question.
"Dursley, you sicken me." Sirius said, recognizing Harry's false attempt. "You made him live in a cupboard? Harry, with your permission, I think I'll kill him." Sirius said, making a move for his wand.
"NO!" Harry yelled, stepping out in front of the Dursleys. "You can't. Not because I like them," Harry said, throwing a disgusted look at the three huddled behind him, "but because you'd be stamping your own one-way ticket back into Azkaban."
Sirius sighed, shaking his head angrily. He shoved his wand back into his pocket and folded his arms.
"Azkaban? What's that, a circus?" Aunt Marge piped up from where she was still seated at the head of the table.
"No, Marge. Its prison for wizards." Uncle Vernon said, dropping the act entirely.
"Prison? Oh, great, we have an ex-convict on our hands. Possibly an escapee?" Aunt Marge said, eyeing Sirius suspiciously.
"I was innocent, and acquitted only a few months ago. I had been wrongfully imprisoned for over a decade before they found the real culprit." Sirius said. "Didn't Harry tell you I was innocent?" Sirius asked, looking back at Harry.
"No. Obviously it slipped his mind." Uncle Vernon said thickly, obviously quite angry that Harry had used Sirius as a threat for the past two years.
"Hmph. You're that gent from the telly, aren't you?" Aunt Marge squealed, looking scandalized.
"I was on television?" Sirius asked, sounding interested.
"It was a less kindly version of yourself, but yes." Harry said.
Sirius looked slightly less enthusiastic at that news, but shrugged and said, "I always thought television would be interesting. We had it in Muggle Studies. And Lily had one."
"Another thing. What the hell is a Muggle?" Aunt Marge asked, her head lolling around drunkenly.
Harry looked at Sirius and Uncle Vernon warningly, knowing each of them would be equally as willing to spill the beans about the Wizard World to Marge.
"Oh, you know. It means insolent, vile, cruel, self-centered, et cetera." Sirius said, deciding to use Aunt Marge's ignorance to his advantage, making up an alternate definition.
"Then you, Mr. Black, are the biggest MUGGLE I've ever met!" Aunt Marge thundered, standing up again.
Harry and Sirius both began to laugh, looking at Aunt Marge's puffed-out, red face with amusement.
"Look, Marge. Its been hell on Earth meeting you, but I've got to get going if I want to avoid killing you. I'll be taking Harry with me, by the way. Harry, get your stuff." Sirius said. Harry's jaw dropped. "No, really. I mean it." Sirius said, reading Harry's thoughts perfectly.
Harry bounded up the stairs to his room, which Aunt Marge had no idea existed, leaving Sirius to deal with the Dursleys.
Harry threw object after object into his trunk, and in no time, had it downstairs and set before the front door. Sirius was eating what was left of the chocolate pudding, and the Dursleys were all standing with Aunt Marge in the corner.
"Farewell, Harry. We apologize for any anguish we have caused you over the years that you so unfortunately had to endure. We wish you the best for the future." Aunt Petunia said to him, looking very pale. The other Dursleys, including Aunt Marge, nodded, and waved slowly at him. Harry made a mental note to remember this as the oddest Dursley behavior ever.
"Ready then? Alright, we're off. Thanks for a lovely evening, and good riddance." Sirius said, bowing with a flourish and picking up Harry's trunk, which he began to levitate as soon as they had closed the door behind them.
"What did you say to them to get them to..behave like that?" Harry asked, hoping Sirius hadn't put them under the Imperious Curse.
"Oh.. that. Nothing, really. I've always been good at persuasive speaking." Sirius said simply, shrugging his shoulders.
Harry sighed, knowing that this response meant nothing, but decided not to pursue it any further.
"Wait- How are we getting back to your place? You Apparated here, didn't you?" Harry asked, wondering why they were still walking down the street.
"Well, not really. See, I rode here, but I decided parking a motorbike outside of the Dursleys wouldn't be the best idea. I hid it over here-" Sirius said, pointing towards a large bush that Harry had never seen before, "and Apparated to their doorstep. Didn't feel like walking." Sirius said.
Sirius dropped the suitcase and raised his wand towards the bush. He shouted a spell, and Harry watched as the bush moved away to reveal a shining motorcycle, equipped with a small passenger car.
"Got it back from Hagrid a week ago." Sirius said, smiling proudly.
He proceeded to throw Harry's trunk into a compartment in the passenger car, that must have been enchanted to magically expand.
"Well, hop in! We'll be flying into London in no time." Sirius said, hoping onto the bike as Harry sat down in the twice expanded passenger car. Inserting an oddly old-fashioned key, Sirius revved up the motorcycle, and soon it was floating off the ground.
"Oh, by the way, Harry. I just have one question before we get into the air. Why didn't you tell me you were criminally insane? We could have had fun blowing something up instead of hanging around for dinner." Sirius said.
Harry laughed, as did Sirius. With one final twist of the key, the motorcycle that had 'Black Shadow' written on it in silver lettering was flying over Privet Drive, and into the starry night.
~*The End*~
A/N: I'm much more satisfied with that one..are you? Please review!
by Rainsong ~~~~~
A/N: Ok, I must agree with Elspeth, the ending was a deus ex machina. Honestly, it was done because I wanted to end it swiftly without a Dursley death (I try and keep it realistic.), so Snape came to mind. Trust me, I'm more displeased with myself than any of you are with me. Being a perfectionist, I've crafted an alternate final chapter.
Hope its a bit better. Thanks for the constructive criticism!
~~~~
"So, Mr. Black, have you lived here all your life?" Aunt Petunia said, making another daring stab at conversation.
"Yes, I have actually. I grew up outside of London, and have lived there for most of my life." Sirius replied.
"Thats nice. I don't fancy traveling myself. We never did much of it when I was growing up. Its nice to stay in a comfortable area, so I was lucky to meet Vernon right here in Little Whingling." Aunt Petunia said, smiling at Uncle Vernon, who smiled nervously back.
"When did you two get married?" Sirius asked, for the first time looking genuinely curious.
"December of 1980." Aunt Petunia said, suddenly looking a little paler than usual.
Aunt Marge seemed to notice the same thing, because she voiced what Aunt Petunia was probably worrying about.
"Don't worry, Petunia. There was no need for you to invite him or those Potters to your wedding. They probably wouldn't have dressed properly anyway." she said, taking another glass of sherry to her lips.
"Now Marge.." Uncle Vernon said gruffly, looking a little irked at Marge's behavior.
"Don't 'Now Marge' me, Vernon. I know how to spot 'em, and this guest of yours has the same look about him that Potter did. Trouble, trouble, TROUBLE." Aunt Marge said, waving her hand drunkenly.
"Look, Ms. Dursley," Sirius began, growing frustrated again. "You obviously don't like me or my family. Do you think it could be remotely possible to keep your remarks to yourself until I'm gone?" he said.
"Sir, I don't hide from confrontation. And I won't back down on my opinions either just because it hurts your oh-so-delicate feelings. Quit the politeness and fight like a man." Aunt Marge said, her words drunkenly slurred together. "Anyway, its not like I'm judging you blindly. If you were so close to that Potter trash, you obviously can't be worth much of my consideration. Nutters, those two were." Aunt Marge continued.
"They were not." Harry said before he could stop himself. Still, it was oddly empowering to echo on his words before escaping on the Knight Bus before third year.
"Oh, come on. It was disaster in the making. I could probably map out their last hours perfectly. Its quite a short story. They got drunk, drove off, and wham!" Aunt Marge dramatically clapped her hands "Straight into a tree and straight to the undertaker." Aunt Marge said, still staring at Sirius.
"Don't talk about things you couldn't even begin to comprehend." Sirius growled, trying his best to stay seated.
"What? Oh, you're one of those who so adamantly believes that they didn't die in a car crash. Their boy here said the same thing last year. Obviously a load of rubbish." Aunt Marge said.
"They died fighting so that horrible Muggles like yourself could go on living!" Sirius erupted, looking murderous.
"Muggle? What's that, biker slang?" Aunt Marge shouted, standing up once more.
Sirius stood up too, ready to face Aunt Marge's wrath.
"You're just the same as those two were. Petunia and Vernon told me a spot about you before you arrived. Best man at their 'wedding', if you'd call it that. And you're the godfather to the boy. Obviously you knew that good-for-nothing wastrel Potter quite well, eh?" Aunt Marge said
"Oh, yes, 'quite well'! Best friend I ever had! And if he was here right now, listening to what you're saying about his wife and son, he'd have cursed you into oblivion by now! I have half a mind to do that myself!" Sirius shouted.
Harry suddenly got a feeling of dread. If Sirius cursed Aunt Marge, and her memory had to be modified, the Ministry wizards might show up. Sirius had just gotten acquitted; he really didn't need to go back to Azkaban on charges of Muggle abuse.
"But Potter's not here, is he? He's dead. Serves him right, too. The world is better off without him! And what's this about 'cursing' me. So you're a wizard now?" Aunt Marge said, laughing.
"Like I said, you shouldn't talk about things you don't understand!" Sirius replied.
"Stop it!" Harry yelled, standing up and glaring at both of them. "This is insane. Neither of you to have any idea what the other is talking about, alright? This entire night was meant to be a peaceful dining experience. Aunt Marge, stop talking about my parents for ONE night. Sirius, don't lose your temper, she's a confused Muggle." he said. Having said his piece, Harry sat back down, feeling slightly embarrassed to be the one to have to end that particular argument.
"I WILL NOT BE TOLD WHAT TO DO BY SOME FOUL, CRIMINAL TEENAGER! Get back into the cupboard where you belong, boy, before I call Ripper to escort you there!" Aunt Marge thundered.
Sirius looked at both of them curiously for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, but did you say 'cupboard'?"
"Yes, the one that he's lived in for his whole life. Hope the spiders are getting to you, boy!" Aunt Marge said scathingly.
"You forced Harry to live in a CUPBOARD?" Sirius asked the Dursleys, sounding more disbelieving than angry at that point.
Uncle Vernon chuckled nervously. "No, of course not! Our nephew, in a cupboard? No, he had a room. Guest room in fact. Little smaller than Dudley's, but that's to be expected, eh? You know, Marge has had a little too much sherry.." Uncle Vernon said shakily, throwing an open bottle of sherry over his shoulder, not noticing as its contents spilled all over the floor.
"Harry, did you live in a cupboard?" Sirius asked, turning back to his godson.
"Er...no?" Harry said, his answer sounding more like a question.
"Dursley, you sicken me." Sirius said, recognizing Harry's false attempt. "You made him live in a cupboard? Harry, with your permission, I think I'll kill him." Sirius said, making a move for his wand.
"NO!" Harry yelled, stepping out in front of the Dursleys. "You can't. Not because I like them," Harry said, throwing a disgusted look at the three huddled behind him, "but because you'd be stamping your own one-way ticket back into Azkaban."
Sirius sighed, shaking his head angrily. He shoved his wand back into his pocket and folded his arms.
"Azkaban? What's that, a circus?" Aunt Marge piped up from where she was still seated at the head of the table.
"No, Marge. Its prison for wizards." Uncle Vernon said, dropping the act entirely.
"Prison? Oh, great, we have an ex-convict on our hands. Possibly an escapee?" Aunt Marge said, eyeing Sirius suspiciously.
"I was innocent, and acquitted only a few months ago. I had been wrongfully imprisoned for over a decade before they found the real culprit." Sirius said. "Didn't Harry tell you I was innocent?" Sirius asked, looking back at Harry.
"No. Obviously it slipped his mind." Uncle Vernon said thickly, obviously quite angry that Harry had used Sirius as a threat for the past two years.
"Hmph. You're that gent from the telly, aren't you?" Aunt Marge squealed, looking scandalized.
"I was on television?" Sirius asked, sounding interested.
"It was a less kindly version of yourself, but yes." Harry said.
Sirius looked slightly less enthusiastic at that news, but shrugged and said, "I always thought television would be interesting. We had it in Muggle Studies. And Lily had one."
"Another thing. What the hell is a Muggle?" Aunt Marge asked, her head lolling around drunkenly.
Harry looked at Sirius and Uncle Vernon warningly, knowing each of them would be equally as willing to spill the beans about the Wizard World to Marge.
"Oh, you know. It means insolent, vile, cruel, self-centered, et cetera." Sirius said, deciding to use Aunt Marge's ignorance to his advantage, making up an alternate definition.
"Then you, Mr. Black, are the biggest MUGGLE I've ever met!" Aunt Marge thundered, standing up again.
Harry and Sirius both began to laugh, looking at Aunt Marge's puffed-out, red face with amusement.
"Look, Marge. Its been hell on Earth meeting you, but I've got to get going if I want to avoid killing you. I'll be taking Harry with me, by the way. Harry, get your stuff." Sirius said. Harry's jaw dropped. "No, really. I mean it." Sirius said, reading Harry's thoughts perfectly.
Harry bounded up the stairs to his room, which Aunt Marge had no idea existed, leaving Sirius to deal with the Dursleys.
Harry threw object after object into his trunk, and in no time, had it downstairs and set before the front door. Sirius was eating what was left of the chocolate pudding, and the Dursleys were all standing with Aunt Marge in the corner.
"Farewell, Harry. We apologize for any anguish we have caused you over the years that you so unfortunately had to endure. We wish you the best for the future." Aunt Petunia said to him, looking very pale. The other Dursleys, including Aunt Marge, nodded, and waved slowly at him. Harry made a mental note to remember this as the oddest Dursley behavior ever.
"Ready then? Alright, we're off. Thanks for a lovely evening, and good riddance." Sirius said, bowing with a flourish and picking up Harry's trunk, which he began to levitate as soon as they had closed the door behind them.
"What did you say to them to get them to..behave like that?" Harry asked, hoping Sirius hadn't put them under the Imperious Curse.
"Oh.. that. Nothing, really. I've always been good at persuasive speaking." Sirius said simply, shrugging his shoulders.
Harry sighed, knowing that this response meant nothing, but decided not to pursue it any further.
"Wait- How are we getting back to your place? You Apparated here, didn't you?" Harry asked, wondering why they were still walking down the street.
"Well, not really. See, I rode here, but I decided parking a motorbike outside of the Dursleys wouldn't be the best idea. I hid it over here-" Sirius said, pointing towards a large bush that Harry had never seen before, "and Apparated to their doorstep. Didn't feel like walking." Sirius said.
Sirius dropped the suitcase and raised his wand towards the bush. He shouted a spell, and Harry watched as the bush moved away to reveal a shining motorcycle, equipped with a small passenger car.
"Got it back from Hagrid a week ago." Sirius said, smiling proudly.
He proceeded to throw Harry's trunk into a compartment in the passenger car, that must have been enchanted to magically expand.
"Well, hop in! We'll be flying into London in no time." Sirius said, hoping onto the bike as Harry sat down in the twice expanded passenger car. Inserting an oddly old-fashioned key, Sirius revved up the motorcycle, and soon it was floating off the ground.
"Oh, by the way, Harry. I just have one question before we get into the air. Why didn't you tell me you were criminally insane? We could have had fun blowing something up instead of hanging around for dinner." Sirius said.
Harry laughed, as did Sirius. With one final twist of the key, the motorcycle that had 'Black Shadow' written on it in silver lettering was flying over Privet Drive, and into the starry night.
~*The End*~
A/N: I'm much more satisfied with that one..are you? Please review!