Miles To Go

Chapter 1

A/N: This chapter ends on a little bit of a cliffhanger. I'm still not sure what's going to happen next.

Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use.

Jane looked at the plate in front of her. "I don't think I can do this."

"Do what?" Maura asked.

"This!" Jane exclaimed, pointing at her plate.

"Yes you can. Just tip your head back and let it slide in your mouth."

"Nope. I can't do it. I just can't eat raw oysters."

"Frost did it."

"Eew. I mean, uh, I'm not going to get shamed into doing it."

"Jane, I've tried all sorts of things you've wanted to me try. Just try this one thing."

"You cannot compare this to something like beer. Beer is good. This is icky."

"Fine. I give up," Maura sighed.

"Good. Wait, really?"

"Yes. What's the point in trying to introduce you to things I enjoy if you never actually try them?"

"Come on, that's not true."

"Yes it is. I've invited you to go the natural history museum, the ballet, that new raw food restaurant I thought would be at least interesting to try. You wouldn't go to any of them."

"I went to that Fairfield dinner with you."

"Only because it was for work. I don't even know why you agreed to come to this restaurant with me."

"Um, well, I didn't know when you said oysters you meant raw oysters. I thought maybe they'd have fried clams or something, you know, edible."

"I'm sorry. I guess I should have figured out awhile ago what you would or wouldn't be interested in doing."

"Geez, Maura, I don't think you need to get so upset about this."

Maura finished her last oyster. "I should get back to work. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, sure."

On Saturday, Jane realized she hadn't done anything with Maura since the oyster lunch. Jane hadn't been avoiding Maura, but wanted to give her a little space after their disagreement. But was that what it was, a disagreement? Was it a fight? Was Maura mad at her and that's why they hadn't hung out at all? Jane sent Maura a text: "Hey wanna have dinner tonight?"

Ten minutes later, Maura sent a reply: "Sorry I have plans tonight."

"Tomorrow?" Jane texted back.

"I can't. I'm really busy tomorrow." Maura replied.

Busy with what? Jane wondered. Jane figured Maura must still be upset and decided to not bother her the rest of the weekend. Monday, if Maura was still mad, Jane would figure out how to fix it.

Monday morning, Jane strolled into work and found Korsak and Frost engaged in an animated discussion. "Hey, what's going on in here?"

"We were just discussing the lecture we went to on Saturday," Frost answered. "Hey, how come you weren't there?"

"What lecture? You went to a lecture on a Saturday?"

"Yeah, Maura invited us and the folks in the forensics lab. It was the lecture at BCU about the history of using forensic evidence in solving crime. They talked about all the early methods before DNA and stuff and how new methods were developed. It was amazing."

"Oh...yeah...I guess it slipped my mind. Sorry I missed it." What the hell, Jane thought. Maura invited everyone but me. Shit, this is worse than I thought. "I'm gonna go down to the autopsy lab. See you guys later."

Jane stood outside the door to the autopsy room. Maura had her back to the door. She was performing an autopsy that would likely be ruled a natural death. Jane didn't want to interrupt or try to talk to Maura in the middle of an autopsy, and frankly, wasn't sure what she was going to say anyway. Jane was getting ready to walk away, when Maura spun around and saw Jane standing there. Jane sighed and walked into the lab.

Maura was pulling off her gloves and gown. "Hi Jane. Am I supposed to have any lab results for you?"

"No, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Oh. About what?"

"Uh, well, I'm really sorry about last week at lunch. I want to make it up to you so you aren't mad at me anymore."

"I'm not mad at you, Jane."

"But you invited everyone but me to that lecture thing on Saturday. What the hell, Maura?"

"I just didn't see the point in inviting you. Usually when I invite you to things you decline, unless it's drinks at the Dirty Robber or take out and a movie at home. I want to spend time with people who are at least going to attempt to be interested in some of the things I like to do."

"So, you've been wasting your time being friends with me? Or am I some pity project? You were trying to make me more classy, but I failed so you're moving on?"

"No, Jane. You're being unfair."

"I'm being unfair? Jesus, Maura. This is so fucked up. I gotta go." Jane went up the stairs. Instead of returning to the bullpen, she went through the front doors and found a spot on a bench in the park down the street from police headquarters.

Please let there be no homicides today, Jane thought. I can't handle seeing Maura again today. But, I'm going to have work with her again soon so I better get my shit together. Fuck, I can't believe she dumped me. Wait, dumped me? I guess that's sort of right. Yeah, she dumped me as a friend. Just because I wouldn't do a few stupid things with her. Stupid things that she really enjoys doing. God, I'm an asshole.

Why didn't I just say yes when Maura invited me to go places with her? Probably because I was afraid I would make an ass of myself somehow and embarrass myself and Maura. Because Maura is beautiful and smart and sophisticated and I can't measure up to her. I'm not good enough for her.

Or maybe because some of the things she invited me to do sounded a lot like dates and that made me feel a little confused and a little scared. And I'm afraid that maybe I was hoping they would be dates. Or maybe I really wanted them to be dates. But if I suggested they were kinda like dates maybe Maura would be uncomfortable and wouldn't want to hang out anymore. But now I don't think she even wants to be friends anymore so I fucked everything up anyway.

Jane was pulled out of her thoughts by someone saying her name, "Jane? Jane, what are you doing out here?"

"Hey Frankie, I was just, uh, thinking."

Frankie took a seat next to Jane. "Well, you look like shit. What happened?"

"Uh, I think I fucked things up with Maura."

"Hey, you guys are best friends. You'll work it out."

Jane sighed. "What if I thought, you know, maybe I wanted to be more than best friends? I mean, just like hypothetically, you know?"

"More than friends? Oh, OH! Seriously, Janie? Shit, I don't know. I think Maura's the only person that can answer that question."

"Gee, thanks, Frankie. You've been a huge help," Jane deadpanned.

Frankie got up. "Yeah, I think this is way beyond my brotherly responsibilities. I gotta get in to work. I'll see you later, okay."

"Yeah, hold up, I gotta get back to work too."

Jane spent the rest of the day sitting at her desk in a haze, trying desperately to figure out a way to just get things to go back to the way they were. Eventually, Jane decided that she would just give Maura a few days of space. She hoped Maura would eventually realized she missed Jane and they could just go back to being friends.

The rest of the week passed normally at work. A homicide investigation took a few days. But outside of work Maura stayed away. No drinks, no dinners, no making plans for the weekend. Korsak and Frost noticed that Jane was constantly on edge, even more so than usual, but didn't know why and neither dared to ask.

Saturday afternoon, Jane couldn't take it anymore. She drove to Maura's house and rang the doorbell. Maura answered with a surprised look on her face, "Jane, what are you doing here?"

"I really want to talk to you. Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, I was just reading. Please, come in." Jane followed Maura to the living room and sat down on a chair across from where Maura sat on the couch. The rest of the couch was littered with medical journals.

"Just a little weekend reading," Jane joked.

"Yes. What did you want to talk about?" Maura replied, missing Jane's joking tone.

"I want to talk about us, of course. Shit. Uh, okay, I want to apologize again. You were right to be upset or whatever about me not doing things you invited me to do. I wasn't being a good friend. I want to make it up to you. I don't want to lose your friendship. You are really important to me. I promise I won't be so lame anymore."

"Why did you always say no? It made me feel really stupid after a while."

"No, I'm the stupid one. I didn't think I would belong in some of those places and I thought I would embarrass myself or embarrass you."

"That's ridiculous, Jane. You could have told me that instead of just saying no. At least then I wouldn't have been left wondering why you wouldn't go anywhere with me."

"We go out all the time!" Jane protested.

"The Dirty Robber doesn't count."

"Well, that's not actually the only reason I said no. I only recently started to figure this part out." Jane took a deep breath. "The things I said no to were the types of things that couples do. I didn't want to do things that felt like dates if you weren't thinking about them as dates."

Maura stared at Jane with a puzzled look on her face, head tilted slightly to the side. "I don't understand what you mean."

Jane clenched and unclenched her hands. She felt the sweat forming on her forehead but pressed on. "I...want to...go on a date with you."