When Life Takes Hold.
Prologue.

Sometimes we have to stand for whats right.
No matter the cost.
Who decides when the price is too high for freedom?

The sound was like thunder in her ears. Hawkes heart felt like it would explode from her chest, the sound catching her unaware as sky before them explode into a million brilliant pieces, while molten rock and debris was showering down around them. Hawke stared up in horror as ash like snow flitted down around her. She and her companions looked up to where the Chantry had once stood, now a vast emptiness in its place.
Her mind was reeling, the world was spinning 'What did he do?' panic welled up inside her. It felt like the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Did she have a hand in helping him with this madness? She couldn't believe the man she thought was one of her closest friends used her like this, and made a fool out of her. Killing all those innocent people, children, Elthina... oh maker and what for? To prove some point?

She couldn't breath, everyone was shouting, she could barely understand them, their voices rattling through her head; this was all just too much. Hawke stared at Anders, in shock, confusion, anger, fear and even pity pulling her emotions every which way.

"What did you do Anders?...What were you thinking?" She pleaded with him, as if it would make sense of what had done, after everything they had been through together. Everything that he had done to help them, to help her to just throw it away with this horrible act. There must be have a good reason for it she tried to tell herself, there was no way the man she had come to trust with her very life could do such a thing.

She yelled and begged for answers but his explanations seemed weak at best. There had to be a better way to help the mages, not like this. There was no way this could help anyone, it could only condemn the mages not help set them free. There's always a better way.

He argued that he and Justice were one and the same now, that this was a something that had to be done. She didn't believe it; she had known him far too long to believe they were the same. She knew it was just some excuse to make her hate him, but it wasn't working she couldn't hate him even though she knew she should, too much had happened she knew him to well.

Sebastian cried out for vengeance and for Anders' death threatening to do it himself, if she was to weak to do it. She flinched as she thought, maybe Anders deserved death for his crime, maybe it was the only way. But weren't they already killers? The seven years together she had killed many by her own hand alone, does that mean she should die as well? Maybe Anders was right in his reasoning's that this was the only way, maybe there was no compromise she didn't know anymore.

Hawke looked at her companions, she trusted each one with her life, especially Anders, the man who saved her more times the she wanted to recount. Hawke helplessly stared at their faces, some of them were as conflicted as she felt, while others twisted with hate and disgust.

But it was Fenris, her love, her heart, her fierce wolf. The man she trusted above any other their eyes met, his dark green to her pale blue, she knew what he would do and she knew that he would stand by her what ever she chose to do. That's all it took, she knew, there was no time to linger. They were out of time. Anders was out of time and it broke her heart that she couldn't save him from himself. If he had just told her his plan, they could have found a better way, she knew she could have found a better way, but now he made his bed and now he needed to lay in it.

"I'm sorry, Anders... But you have to pay for what you've done." Her tone was harsh, but her heart was breaking she fought back the tears that threatened to over take her.

"I couldn't tell you, even if I thought you wanted to help. I couldn't risk you being dragged down with me. Not after everything you've done for me." He said, staring off not able to look at her, he was ashamed, that was something at least.

"I am involved Anders! I am just as much to blame for this as you, I can't claim ignorance. I'm guilty by association and you know it." Hawke spat, her anger and self guilt writhing within her.

Anders slumped forward in defeat; he knew it would come to this. He accepted the loss of his life years ago, as soon as he had taken Justice in to himself, but all that mattered was that the mages were that much closer to freedom, and he would soon be at peace.

"I understand Hawke, I'm just glad it's you." He spoke softly, his body trembling.

The moment the dagger slipped effortlessly into his back, Hawke regretted it, she wanted to take it back. Anders gasped in pain and slumping to the ground. The guilt of what she had just done flooded through her, she should have made him redeem himself, or just let him go, but the decision had been made, and she would have to live with it now; there was no turning back.

As she stared at Anders still form as the blood pooled under him. She felt a flood of guilt, all of her failures and everything she should have done differently. They would have to come back to collect his body later, there was no time. Turning away she silently but briskly marched past the others, not looking at them, she just could not look at them.

"Sister..." Bethany croaked,grabbing Hawke by the arm as she passed pulling her around to face her, tears filling her eyes. "He did it for the mages sister, he did it for me, you didn't have to..."

"Don't Beth... just don't," Her voice shakey, pulling Bethany's hand off her arm. " We need to go, the mages need our help, they need us now more than ever."

"Alyson, please don't, it's not too late, let me help him ..." Bethany begged her sister pleading.

"BETHANY! Just... stop it, please... He was my friend too, but we need to go now, there's no time for this. You can hate me later, okay." Hawke snapped, tears flowed freely now, she turned away from them; she couldn't face the guilt she felt, it overwhelmed her; she needed to hold herself together and she couldn't stand to see the hate in her sisters eyes for what she had done, and what she wish she hadn't done.
No more words were uttered after that, Bethany nodded and followed the others quietly. There was no looking back now, only to go forward to do what needed to be done. Hawke led her group away, leaving Anders behind; and moving forward to save what was left of Kirkwall, and the mages.

OoO

Anders lay there listening as they argued at Bethany's pleas, and Hawke refusal as Bethany's soft sobs and the sound of their footsteps faded away into the distance. They had been his friends, his companions, and now they were nothing but memories, bathed in his own blood he lay there dying, he was thankful for it.

He deserved no less than this for what he had done; the lies, and deceits. No matter how necessary it had been, there was no turning back. No fixing what he did. Anders welcomed the peace that would come in his death. He felt no pain. There should have been, for he could feel the dagger; the pain and wrongness of it as it slid between his ribs. There was pain at first, but then it dulled he could feel his heart beating against the blade and he wondered if it was Justice that was keeping the pain at bay. He wasn't even sure if it was something Justice could do, and Justice was being silent.

Anders was grateful for it none the less. Soon he would be gone and Justice could go back to the fade fulfilling his duty to the mages and was given his dues. He felt weakness coming over him, his lids were heavy, as he fought to keep his eyes open; he wanted to leave this world drinking in the last bit of it. But everything was spinning as he tried to stay focused. He fought it he needed to take it all in, to say his goodbyes to his life, for whatever it was worth.

'It won't be long now.' He thought, as it became harder to breath. The sound of his heart beat weakening, the sound thumping in his ears.
There was faint sounds of screams in the distance, the clash and scraping of metal echoed off the walls; the sound so far away and yet part of him wanted to go and help he wished he could, but he knew he was out of time.

There was a new sound that caught his attention, a soft shuffling of footsteps, a lot of footsteps. He strained to listen as the steps drew closer. Frantic whispers as someone drew near him. Anders wanted to call out and tell them to run, he was beyond help, tell them to leave Kirkwall now it wasn't safe here anymore.

The soft scuffing changed to a quick clicking; someone was running to him, he could feel a light gust of a breeze as someone knelt beside him. A warm hand brushing against his forehead, sliding down to rest on his neck, checking his pulse.

"Clare, go back to the others and get Tuck quickly. This one is not long for this world." The voice said, the tone sounded strange but sweet, reminding Anders strangely of something familiar, soft, kind and…empty. Something within Justice stirred in him at the sound of this stranger's voice, making Anders take notice of the spirit's sudden agitation.

"What's wrong, Justice?"

There was no answer just the feelings, the raw emotions wrathing within him. There were more voices now, a buzz of jumbled words both far and near, to many to try and focus on just one.

There was a man's voice now; he was close, his voice panicked. Anders tried moving to see his would be savours. Why would anyone want to save him after everything he has done? All the people he has hurt, the friends he had betrayed he didn't deserve to live... but he also didn't want to die.

"I…I don't know if I can heal him, I've never healed a wound this bad before." The man spoke his voice shaky, it cracked thick with fear.
"I have faith in you. Tuck, please, you must try. Even if it's just enough that we can get him to Evelyn, I know she can help him."

The sweet voice rang in his ears again so soothing and freighting at the same time. He turned his head blinking and trying to see her. But the sun was too bright, catching only a glimpse of dark gray robes. 'Another Mage?' he wondered. 'Why were they here?' 'Why weren't they fleeing, this was their only chance to break free.' Justice stirred again stronger this time, now fighting to gain control; Anders fought back, he didn't want the last moments of his life having his strings pulled by Justice.

The warm hand returned, this time brushing lightly against his cheek. "Don't worry friend, we leave no mage or innocent behind. You are safe with us." The voice cooed soothingly.

Anders groaned he wanted to tell her to leave him there, that he didn't want to be saved. He wanted to die. To tell them that he was the one that caused all of this death and havoc, but his voice wouldn't let him and neither would Justice.

"We need to take the dagger out so I can heal the wound up enough, till we can get him back to the others." The man said. "We need to hurry before the Templars discover us here."

"Then hurry my friend, we have many to keep us safe, do not worry. I will not leave this mage. Not unless he is far beyond this mortal world." The voice took on a tone of determination.

The familiar tingle of healing magic flowed through him. Anders shivered, his body was cold from loss of blood. The pain slowly ebbing forward now, not bad, but throbbing.

The feeling of pressure from the knife was starting to lessen and the magic flowed freely now. He felt a pulling of muscle and flesh as the wound began to close slowly from the inside. Gasping, he took a deep shaky breath to keep himself from slipping into unconsciousness.

"Turn him over, I need to make sure that was the only wound." The man panted, he sounded tired and drained, likely using up most of his mana healing.

Anders squinted, blinking back the bright sun that was glaring in his eyes. There were blurred shapes and dark shadows hovering as he stared up dazed. One of the figures leaned closer, it was the woman he thought, the one with the sweet voice. Her hazy figure coming in and out of focus as she hovered over him, looking down at him.

Dark blond hair that hung loose around her. Delicate features lined her youthful face, as dark green eyes stared vacantly into his own hazel ones. A small smile played on the young woman's lips. Anders eyes widened as his attention was drawn from the woman's green vacant eyes to the blazing brand of a sun upon her forehead.

Anders eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You're Tranquil?" he whispered, his voice rasped. 'Tranquil wouldn't help me like this, they are Templar pets they wouldn't help on their own without someone pulling their leash.'

"You could say that." The woman seeming bemused by the idea.

"How… I don't understand." Anders questioned, something was wrong here. Very wrong. He could sense it, made his skin crawl.

The woman leaned closer to Anders, her expression thoughtful, her face mere inches from his own. Her warm breath tickling his face; she stared in his eyes like she was searching for something. Her smile widened as a display of recognition played across her face.

Justice began to rage in his mind now, fighting strongly against Anders' own will to keep control. In the years they shared a body, Justice never seemed so blindly crazed to come to surface like this, he had lost control before when his emotions were peeked, but now Justice wanted out he didn't understand why.

"Ah, I see." The young Tranquil said, her smile now brightened her whole face.

Her smile gave Anders an uneasy feeling. To see a Tranquil smile was very creepy and to see any Tranquil react like this felt very wrong.

"Hello Brother." She chimed, cupping Anders cheek. "I am surprised, and very pleased to see you."

"Brother?... I don't have a siste…"

"MAGES! … HERE!…" The shout echoed, reverberating off the walls. The loud clang of a dozen plated boots sang through his head as a group of Templars gathered around the small group of mages. Dread reared up, thoughts writhed within Anders' skull.

They tried to save him and they were all going to die because of him. He felt Justice flare through him, this time he didn't fight to keep him at bay, if they were all going to die here, he would be sure to take out as many Templars as he could, as his body moved on it's own, he stayed back as he let Justice exact his Vengeance.