Characters: Shizune, Tsunade, Jiraiya
Summary: She watched, prayed, and had her hopes torn asunder.
Pairings: JirTsu; past TsuDan
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

She knew Tsunade had loved her uncle first but when she saw her mistress and Jiraiya together Shizune couldn't find it in her to resent either one of them. Especially considering they weren't even willing to acknowledge any possible feelings. Half of the time the two made her head hurt and the other half she couldn't help but smile when she saw them talk, sometimes with civility and sometimes without.

It was only natural, after all.

Shizune couldn't help but think that Jiraiya was… good, good for her mistress. He made Tsunade smile from time to time, smile a smile something like the smile she had before Dan died. It was nice to see Tsunade smile.

He kept her on her toes, tried to keep her from getting too jaded (and even if Jiraiya failed at that—he wasn't a miracle worker—Shizune couldn't help but be grateful to him for trying), and brought laughter into both Tsunade and Shizune's lives.

Shizune just wanted to see her mistress happy.

"There's no need to worry about a shinobi of Jiraiya-sama's caliber," Shizune tried to reassure Tsunade. Lately, the Hokage had been increasingly moody, thanks to both the incessant rain and Jiraiya's departure to Amegakure. "I'm sure he'll be back soon, and—"

"No, he won't," Tsunade interrupted her abruptly.

Shizune frowned, taken aback.

"That's my bet, anyways." Tsunade turned, and Shizune winced to see how forced and stretched her wide, toothy smile was. Shizune couldn't remember the last time she had seen Tsunade look so strained. "And we all know how my luck runs."

Shizune stared at her for a moment, sadly, before forcing a weak, slightly quivering smile to her face. "…Yes…"

Shizune didn't like to think what went through Tsunade's mind when they received the news. She'd been working in the hospital when she heard, and her mind flew immediately to Tsunade.

Tsunade, who refused—as ever; still didn't trust her own attendant and apprentice enough for that—to show pain in front of her. But Shizune knew it was there.

On her way home, umbrella held above her and trying—and failing—to avoid puddles (the end of her yukata was steeped thick in mud) Shizune twisted her lip. Jiraiya-sama, you promised you'd return. Why put Tsunade-sama through that sort of pain again, why?

Why make the rain fall on her like that, again?

So much for hopes.

Only death again, now.