Author's Note: Wow. "Sexy" was awesome. Burt Hummel for Dad of the Century. I wrote most of this chapter before the episode aired and it was only supposed to be a rewrite of Blame it On the Alcohol, because I've got a few other stories working… but now I'm tempted to just make a somewhat AU version of the rest of the season. *sigh* I need more hours in a day.

Thanks for all your reviews and enjoy!

Quinn is still staring at her homework, beginning to wonder if it waould make more sense if she took a quick nap, or went downstairs to raid Mercedes fridge. She had moved back in with Mercedes just after sectionals. Her parents had been talking and were starting to use phrases like "Just a trial separation" and "together in the Lord" and Quinn was done. She is done pretending to be what she isn't. She isn't a Cheerio, she isn't sweet, she hates Glenn Beck, and maybe, after everything, she isn't that good of a Christian either.

So she'd called Mercedes, and taken off. She had just wanted to do what she wanted to do for a once. And she had clearly overdone it. She had done what she wanted with Sam, she had done what she wanted with Coach Sylvester, and then she had done what she wanted with Finn. And now she was alone, and she was angry.

There is a knock on the door and it inches open.

"Hey Quinn," Mercedes sighs, stepping inside with her books held quietly to her chest, "Have you done the math yet?"

"Yes," Quinn replies, "If "am still staring at a blank page" counts as done."

"I know. I was hoping you were up for a coffee break. Maybe something frozen and sugary. Possibly even chocolatey"

"Sounds like the perfect cure for study fatigue to me," Quinn sighs.

She and Mercedes climb in Quinn's car and head out for the coffee place on the other side of town, just for the hell of it. The freedom of staying with Mercedes's family is still a little intoxicating. They had said they were leaving and had just been waved out the door. The snoopiest Mercedes's mother ever got was asking to be texted if they changed locations.

No embarrassing questions, no insane rules, no pretending that blantantly un-okay things are okay.

"So, how are you holding up?" Mercedes asks. "You looked a little… rough at Rachel's party."

Quinn growls, "It's just such a pain. I can't believe I got dumped for Santana. Cheated on with Santana, sure, fine, par for the course at McKinley, but left for Santana?"

"Well…" Mercedes starts hesitantly, "You did kiss Finn."

"A grand total of twice. I'm not a saint. But if he thinks that's bad he's not going to get any better from Santana."

"That's true," Mercedes agree, "She's probably not going to last much longer."

"Are you kidding? I guarantee you that she and Britney have already had sex at least twice since Santana and Sam started going out."

"Wait-what?"

"Are you actually surprised?" Quinn demands, knowing exactly what she's doing. Just because it's an open secret doesn't mean everyone knows, but she's pissed and she's outing the two of them to the club gossip, and screw them too. "The tricycle dates, the pinky holding, the fact that Britney accidentally let it slip to a chunk of the glee club? Kurt knew.

"So are they…"

"I don't know. But this has been going on for years. It's been going on since Britney started dating Artie, and I can't think of a single reason that it would stop for Sam."

"Um…wow."

"Yeah. Wow," Quinn replies, "I'm surprised nothing happened while they were drunk."

"Okay… I'm sorry, but between you and Kurt I have to ask this- What is it about Finn? Where is the attraction there? I mean he's nice enough and he can sing, but he's childish, he can't dance, he's not the brightest, and you did cheat on him with Puck, who has a way nicer body."

"Well, you went out with Puck, so you know exactly why he would lose out to Finn. I guess… he's like a puppy. He's cute, he's sweet, he's loyal, he's dumb."

"That doesn't sound like good reasoning," Mercedes says as Quinn pulls into a parking space.

"And I loved him," Quinn says, the harsh tone she's been using ever since Mercedes asked her if she was okay finally softening.

Kurt's still wallowing in his room. Mercedes hadn't answered, but she'd texted him to let him know that she was studying with Quinn. Apparently she was going to call him later with some big news about Britney and Santana. Kurt was pretty sure he knew what it was, but didn't mind giving Mercedes the thrill of telling him.

He should be doing homework. He should be worrying about whether or not Carol is really going to keep something as major as the fact that Karofsky kissed him from his father, he could even been cleaning his room, but all he's doing is playing Blaine's pissy little speech over and over in his head.

"You just pop that bubble for me all the time."

"Walked around a warzone like McKinley in an Alexander McQueen sweater."

"Took my stupid bravado about courage and actually did it."

Well. Thanks a lot for the advice Blaine. Way to get me attacked and threatened, Kurt thinks. But it wasn't exactly to put all the blame on Blaine for that. Kurt would have done some variation of that even without stupid dapper Blaine's stupid dapper texting. He'd spent the whole Gaga lesson yelling back at Karofsky, he'd taken half of his speech at Karofsky in the locker rooms from what he'd already been telling Azimio and Karofsky before Finn showed up in his Red Vinyl Dress. That's who he was. Apparently that's what Blaine wanted to be.

Well… he could have it. And maybe if he tried it for a while in a warzone like McKinley then he'd be able to get off his stupid high-horse about not being able to shepherd the poor baby-duckling gays at Dalton (two of whom Kurt knew, and neither of whom needed shepherding as much as one of them needed a shower and the other needed to get outside into the fresh air every once in a while) and be able to just be the Blaine that he'd been before Kurt had transferred. When they'd been able to hang out and have fun and go to plays together and not get all competitive over solos and all the other bullshit.

There's a knock on his door, this time Finn walks in.

"Hey, that warbler guy is here," Finn tells him, "Burt's down there talking to him. You should hurry."

Kurt's already moving at "Burt is down there" and crests the stairs in time to see Blaine extending out his hand to his father. His father doesn't take it at first, but points to the to-go cup of coffee in Blaine's other hand.

Carol comes in from the living room as Kurt hits the bottom of the stairs, she shakes Blaine's hand somehow manages to pull his dad away without making it obvious.

Now alone, Blaine thrusts the to-go mug toward Kurt.

"I'm a complete jerk," he says. "Everything I did at the party was stupid. Everything I've said to you for the last couple of days was stupid, and I just generally suck. You stormed off without your latte. I brought you another one."

"It's nine o'clock and we have school in the morning," Kurt points out, not quite willing to unclench that easily.

Blaine looks at his still mid-proffer mug.

"Damn."

And that's what it takes. Kurt lets his shoulders drop a little bit and takes the mug from Blaine, taking a sip from it.

"And it's cold. Come on. We'll go heat it up and I'll split it with you."

Kurt leads Blaine into the kitchen, Blaine sits at the table, looking down at the surface of it as though it is completely fascinating, and waits for Kurt to get two mugs down and heat up coffee for both of them.

Kurt sets a mug in front of Blaine and then sits down across from him.

"Kurt…" Blaine starts carefully, weirdly shy and quiet. He's never shy and quiet, and Kurt tries to stifle the slight uptick of his heart beat before he gets let down again. "Kurt do you know how many Dalton kids transfer in? How many kids at Dalton haven't been down on the list since birth? Like Hogwarts style?"

Kurt resists the urge to laugh and shakes his head.

"You. Xan Li a grade below us, the scary genius 11 year old a grade above us, and me," he shrugs uncomfortably, "And there are only another five guys who don't board at Dalton. Yes. There is a no bullying policy. You've seen it. We don't get bullied. We live in this happy little world where race and sexual orientation don't matter and you can convince a whole group of guys to do something really stupid for a valentine's gesture that was not well thought out in any regard…but there are still cliques. Guys hang out with people in their dorms. Or guys whose families have all gone to the same ivy-league schools after graduating. There are cliques based around the fraternities that people's grandfathers were in. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"No," Kurt said.

"The real reason that I grabbed you when you came to spy on us, and the real reason that had Wes and David come talk to you… I've been lonely at Dalton since I transferred in. I don't have a clique. I got into the Warblers, but the Warblers isn't nearly as solid a clique as all those other ones… and I don't really have anything in common with most of the guys there. Yes, we get along and there is a culture of respect and everything…but you're….you're my only actual friend at Dalton, Kurt," Blaine stared at his own finger as he drug it uncomfortably across the table in front of him.

"I talk to you about the same type of gay rights stuff that even Mercedes didn't want to sit through. I talk to you about the musicals the Warblers don't think have enough pedigree to consider. No one in the Warbler's will listen to Wicked. Kurt… I talk to you about football," he finally laughs and Kurt rushes to join in, "I haven't…we haven't… had any opportunity to figure out the romance thing like our straight friends have, and I don't know what I'm doing. I haven't had any opportunity to figure anything out really, I just fake being able to do all of the things that you actually do," his voice lowers oddly, "that I really admire about you. I meant what I said- I don't want to screw this up. I can't lose you as a friend. I don't have anyone else to talk to. And yeah, I want to be able to date people… but I think the whole Jeremiah thing proves that I…I need to actually try to connect with someone before running off after what I think I should have. I think I actually need a friend."

Kurt has no idea how to reply to Blaine completely dropping the entire act. He has no idea how to reply to being Blaine's only friend, and he is aware that this is not helping his crush. He sips his coffee, and Blaine continues to stare at the table.

Finn walks into the kitchen, takes in the intense moment he didn't expect and slowly backs out of the room. Kurt laughs, Blaine laughs. The tension breaks.

"We should hang out with the New Directions more often."

"Yeah?" Blaine asks.

"Yeah. The party was fun. They liked you. They all love Wicked. It'd be perfect."

"Okay. Sure. Maybe we should go out with Mercedes and Rachel some time."

"Mercedes is supposed to be calling me back some time tonight. I'll see what she wants to do."

"Okay. I uh… I'm not actually supposed to be out this late on school nights," Blaine says suddenly, " I should uh-"

"Oh, yeah. You probably should. I don't think my dad's thrilled about you showing up here."

Blaine looks genuinely shocked, "Why? I thought your dad was… cool about you being-"

"Oh he is. He just found you in my bed remember?"

Blaine's eyes snap shut in embarrassment. "Right.

"Come on. I'll walk you out," Kurt says. Blaine stops him.

"Just… one more thing. I'm sorry that I tried to kiss you, especially after the whole… you know. Thing. And thanks for not kissing me."

"Not a problem," Kurt assures him. He walks Blaine out and Blaine surprises him by hugging him goodbye.

He closes and locks the door, and turns around, catching a glimpse of his father ducking his head back into the living room, where he'd clearly been spying.

Kurt decides to let it go and goes back to his room. Probably to stare at his homework and think about how cute Blaine is when he's apologetic, rather than actually do his homework. But he's trying.

This plan is flawless.

Okay, maybe it has a couple of flaws.

Okay, fine it's a terrible plan. But Karofsky doesn't care anymore. He can't take it. He'd been publicly shamed during dodgeball and he is going to make Susie Pepper his girlfriend.

It had started out pretty much as expected. They were still playing dodgeball. Sam, Puck and Finn all wound up on the same team. The one opposite Karofsky.

Puck had wailed Karofsky so hard he was pretty sure he'd had a bruise on his shoulder right on the first hit and had to sit the whole first game out. The game had gone on pretty much normally, weeding things down to just one kid, the foreign exchange student, who realized that he couldn't outrun the entire opposing team, smiled, held out his arms and been gently tagged out.

But then things had turned ugly.

The next game had started, and Puck hadn't hit him. Finn hadn't hit him. No one had hit him. The team started to get whittled down and once it had gotten down to maybe 10 people, Puck and Finn seemed to have joined brains or something. They started surgically striking everyone out, until it was just Karofsky.

It had been mob mentality. Puck wailed him, Finn wailed him, Sam had wailed him and then the couple of nerds that always fell into line behind Puck in terror joined in.

Only the Glee guys' hits had physically hurt. But the subsequent rain of dodge balls had been… terrifying. It was like… it was like being viciously bullied. Singled out and viciously bullied.

It was like what the football team had done to Artie. It was like what he had done to Kurt, and the scariest part was that when he looked up at Puck, Finn and Sam they had looked as surprised at themselves for doing it as Karofsky had been with himself for kissing Hummel.

And if that hadn't been enough, he'd gone from gym to his Government class, where Rachel Berry had presented an article on how yet another leader of an anti-gay group had been caught with a male prostitute.

And it was too much. All Karofsky could hear was Finn in his head for the rest of the day.

"You know it's funny Karofsky, how you're calling everybody gay all the time, but you never seem to have a girlfriend."

The plan had come together in his last class of the day, where he sat behind Susie Pepper. It was perfect. The whole school knew that she was a psycho, she was totally desperate enough to go out with a sweaty ham hock like him, she had followed Mr. Shuester around even with the man's crazy wife threatening to kill her, so Karofsky clearly had plenty of leeway in case he screwed something up. And she was so crazy that he could probably convince Azimio and Strando that he was only dating her because she put out, which was really the whole point of this whole girlfriend plan anyway. So that he'd be seen with a girl that people assumed he was doing all that stuff with. So no one would ever believe that one time he'd lost it and…kissed Kurt Hummel.

The bell rings and Karofsky repeats his mantra for the week over in his head again.

Be Nice. Don't Get Angry.

He's aware that this has actually all gotten harder since Hummel transferred. He had thought it would be easier, not having what Hummel was rubbed in his face every day, but all he had really managed was to lose his one outlet for his frustration, and make it okay for the glee club to gang up on him. Catch 88.

"Hey, Susie?" He asks tremulously.

She actually turns around, and she doesn't even sound mean when she says, "What do you need Dave?"

"I was uh, I was wondering if you could help me out with the homework… like maybe at lunch tomorrow."

She looks at him, surprised but not mad and shrugs, "Sure. Meet you here?"

"Okay."