Fandom: My own dysfunctional one
Title: Rage Against the Author
Warnings: Original Characters. That's pretty much the first thing anyone cares about anyways. First post / fanfic on LJ as well. Chapter also contains heavy clothing description.
Author's Notes: This isn't to be taken seriously. Like, at all. Feel free to flame, guys; I don't really care anymore, and neither do these guys. Based upon Final Fantasy, Slayers, Golden Sun, and other games / series with RPG elements. Also, the first fanfic I finally decide to dual post on and LJ is about my original characters. They're such spotlight hogs.
Summary: "No. You know what? I quit. Screw your story, I'm staying home." When original characters decide that enough is enough, they must go through their own fantasy quest just to be left alone. Crack.

"—fault!"

"Just my fault? I recall you demanding things too, y'know."

"Hey, quit fighting, you guys. Look, Mari's starting to wake up."

Mariko groaned, not wanting to open her eyes to wherever they were. She didn't want to know what happened after her place blacked out, but her curiosity went against her better judgment. "Where are we?"

"Dunno. We just woke up here," Natsu said from her left as she sat up. The others were staring at her now, Rei to her right, then Kou and Nekoni completing their small makeshift circle. The room they were in was empty, with no doors or windows in sight. Well, she and Rei could always just make their own doorways. They and their friends did it often enough. "I think we really made her mad this time."

Rei scoffed. "This time? Who cares! She's such a wimp; she's pissed off because someone called us Mary Sues again and her pride's wounded."

I can hear you, you know!

Everyone but Rei and Natsu jumped, not expecting to be heard. Mariko, after recovering from her mini heart attack, frowned, crossing her arms in annoyance. "What do you want? Where are we?"

You're here because you wanted out, remember? Well, I'm giving you an exit.

"Oh really?" Rei asked, skeptical. "What's the catch? No way you're letting us off just like that."

You have to do it my way.

"No, really? And here I thought you'd hand us off to someone else," Nekoni retorted sarcastically. Kou, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up before there was a reply.

"And your way is. . .?"

A test.

"Great, the answer's 42, password's swordfish, and she's a witch because she weighs the same as a duck," Rei grumbled, crossing her arms. "Can we go home now?"

No, smartass. Not that kind of test. Think Slayers or Final Fantasy kind of tests.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Mariko groaned, slapping a hand over her eyes, having figured out exactly what she was talking about. "We gotta go through something like your stupid RPGs you're always playing?"

They're not stupid!

"Are too." Rei spoke, smirking.

Are not!

"Are too."

Are not!

"Are too—"

"Stop!" Kou shouted, hoping to stop them from continuing. Rei's arguments were worse than Mariko's, if only because Rei refused to back down no matter what. "What exactly do you mean by that? Are you inserting us in some RPG plot, or something?"

Kind of. I figured you'd like to get the others back, so—

"Whoawhoawhoa, waitaminute. Others? What'd you do with Shiori?"

Instantly, Natsu, Kou, and Nekoni stiffened, eyes narrowing suspiciously at nothing. Was that why they were the only five here? The others had been taken? Were they—

Hey, I'm not torturing them, sheesh. They're all fine. Well, most of them, anyways. Don't give me that look—everyone but Rei was glowering at a wall. I meant that some of them I'm using for your test. Like. . .

Suddenly, a sixth person suddenly appeared, her eyes wide in surprise. Yomiko blinked, staring at the others before squeezing her eyes shut in irritation. "What did you guys do?"

"Long story," Mariko said before everyone could shout their own versions of events at the aggravated Shinigami. She looked up at the ceiling. "So, what now?"

Well. . .this, really.

"What are you—"

Everything went dark again. Rei swore. "Stop doing that!"

"—stupid! I refuse to do this!"

"Oh, you're just sour because I'm a thief and you ended up as a useless mage."

"At least you two are not—oh, hello, Mariko. . ."

For the second time, Mariko was the last one to awaken. She sighed, wondering what she would wake up to now. She opened her eyes, then closed them again, placing a hand over them. Waking up to an isolated room was better than this.

Rei's usual short kimono had gotten shorter, showing off the bandages that she used to wrap her chest; the obi usually tying her shirt shut was now dangling around her waist, sleek knives balancing on either side of the strip. Her shorts remained fairly unchanged, and she now sported fingerless gloves. On her feet were brown boots that went halfway up her shins replaced the sandals that she normally wore. A bandanna was wrapped around her head, the ends of it trailing behind her.

Natsu had somehow acquired a heavy looking set of armor, knee high steel boots accompanying it. An axe was hanging from his right side, easily bigger than their heads, with a shield strapped tight to his back. His normal clothes had vanished, thick dark clothing showing where the armor didn't cover. His dark helm was under his arm, a plume of silver blowing in the slight breeze.

Kou's bat wings had disappeared, armor much like Natsu's covering his whole body instead. Only, while Natsu's armor was a dark blue shade with silver accents, his was black and gold, and reminiscent of a bat's, the helm he now wore sporting 'wings' on either side. A lance was being held in his hand, twirled and experimented with.

Nekoni's ears and tail were gone as well, although he hadn't gained any armor like the other two males. Instead, he wore dark robes, lined with gold, with a hood hanging behind him. As he shifted, Mariko could see that he wore a simple outfit under the heavy robes, with knee high dark boots. A staff with runes decorating it was on the ground, seemingly thrown there by him.

Yomiko. . .had been changed the most, if only because she had lost the sheep horns she had gotten when she became a Shinigami, and had shrunk so that she was the size of a fairy from a children's book. The blonde's usual impeccable dark clothing was replaced with a thick white dress and slip on shoes, a giant yellow ribbon tied around her waist. She had kept her wings, although they now sprinkled disappearing dust every time they fluttered. She looked a bit put off, but Mariko was sure any of them would be if they had changed like her.

She looked down at herself for the first time, not surprised that her clothes had changed as well. Though she still wore a skirt, it and her shirt felt like it was made of a heavier material, and was in a similar armor as Natsu. Unlike he and Kou, however, there was a circlet wrapped tight around her forehead; she could feel it digging into her skin a bit. Groping at her back revealed a sword strapped tight, even though she wasn't a swordsman. Her armor was a goldenrod color, lined with a light silver color.

Looking around yet again, it seemed like they had been left in a forest clearing; although she wasn't sure if this was a step up or down from the blank room, considering what they were left as. Why a forest Mariko could only guess, though it could be so that they wouldn't be seen suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Checking her skirt pocket, she found that the spare change she sometimes put there had turned into small gold coins.

Yeesh. She's really serious about this, huh. . .?' Mariko thought, crossing her arms carefully, not used to wearing armor. She didn't know anyone back home who used armor; heck, they practically were their own armor anyways. Nothing could faze the Nerima Wrecking Crew. Nothing. ( of course, considering all the weird things that went down there, nothing was really a surprise anymore. )

"So what now?"

Natsu shrugged, his armor clinking with his movement. "Probably go and see where we are. . .we can't stay in this forest forever, and we'll need to get food and other supplies."

"I am not going out in the open looking like. . .like this," Yomiko growled, crossing her arms as she floated near Kou. "This is absolutely humiliating."

"Neither am I. It feels weird without my ears or tail," Nekoni growled; his anger still hadn't subsided since he first arrived, it seemed. Kou agreed with him, swaying slightly as if he was pretending his wings were still there. Rei rolled her eyes as she leaned against a tree, bored.

"Oh, quit being such babies; I doubt there'll be people we recognize here. . .and, if there are, there's always the chance that they won't remember you," she glanced at her nails, acting as if she cared what her nails looked like. "This kinda reminds me of Greed Island, now that I think about it. . .only, I actually wanted to be in a stupid RPG."

Mariko sighed, shaking her head. "Well, Natsu, Rei, and I can go ahead, then; Nekoni, Kou, and Yomiko can stay here, and wait for us. . ."

The other five nodded; three of them gratefully settled on the grass to wait, while he other three headed out of the trees to see how bad their situation was.

Nn. . .rushed the ending, because it. Wouldn't. Write. Argh. Mariko's will end up as the point of view most of the time in the story for a couple reasons; one, because she, along with Shiori and Rei, are the easiest for me to write. Two, she's going to end up the leader of this Five Man Band + the Team Pet. Dear god, I listed the specific character tropes to them all. . .Mariko's the Hero ( aka the leader ); Rei's the Lancer ( the second in command / the one that rivals the hero ); Natsu is the Big Guy ( the brawn of the team ); Kou is the Smart Guy ( the brains ); Nekoni is the Chick ( HA! ); and Yomiko is the aforementioned Team Pet ( the cute little critter that the team owns ).

. . .Oh, Nekoni and Yomiko will have my hide for their roles, I just know it. . .