Sharp Objects Chapter 4: Cancer, a glee fanfic

Artie went first, with Brittany at his side. He held a microphone in his hand while Brittany brought a pink bedazzled one. The music started. "My first kiss went a little like this…" After this Rachel tuned out. 3OH3! was okay in her opinion, but she really wasn't a fan.

Her fingers tapped idly. She was just waiting for her turn. Then it was Quinn, singing 'The Only Exception', by Paramore. No one knew if she was singing to Finn or Sam. No one really cared. Santana sang 'You Belong with Me', by Taylor Swift. Then Lauren with 'Paparazzi', Finn with 'Paralyzer', Finger Eleven. Sam came up next with 'The Ballad of Mona Lisa', the new Panic! At the Disco single. At this point, Rachel was starting to think about herself and the number of the day she had left. She wasn't paying attention to anyone anymore. She was lost in thought, her hand reflexively going for the arm she'd cut on. Puck sang 'Hot Mess', by Cobra Starship directly to Rachel, his eyes silently asking what was wrong. She didn't notice. When he finished, Tina went up, singing her favorite Flyleaf song: 'Chasm'. Brittany went up after her, singing the Ke$ha song, 'Cannibal', the one song that got stuck in everybody's heads. It was Mike's turn with My Chemical Romance's 'Welcome to the Black Parade'. Then it was Mercedes' turn. The music started. She took a deep breath.

"What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
I'm going crazy now
No more gas in the rig
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
I'm a light on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Put on your green lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
I feel like a monster

Release me from this curse
I'm trying to remain tame
But I'm struggling
You can't go, go, go
I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh

Mr. Schue clapped his hands. "Alright, lastly we have Rachel. You ready, Rache?"

"Perfectly." She nodded and headed for the center stage, adjusting the skinny jeans she'd chosen instead of her normal skirt, in honor of the song. The music started and she tilted her head down, pushing a chunk of hair out of her face.

"Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain!"

Everyone just watched her with their mouths agape, Mr. Schue included. Rachel smiled self-consciously and returned to her seat, wishing she had the Invisibility Cloak from Harry Potter. And she meant the actually cloak, not the one from AVPM, although it would make a good scarf. Kurt would be proud of her for thinking of something fashionable.

"Wow, um, alright. Thank you Rachel." Mr. Schue cleared his throat and straightened his vest before shooting a pointed glance at Santana who muttered in a sing-song voice, "Twelve-step program."

Rachel sighed to herself, rubbed her arm inadvertently and lifted her messenger bag over her shoulder, practically running out of the choir room. She felt a hand grip her arm, not the cut one, and spun around to see Puck watching her with concerned eyes. "Hey Rache?"

Rachel turned around and continued to walk. "Hi Puck."

Puck gently pushed her against the wall and towered over her, his hazel eyes watching her with worry. "What was up with the Three Days Grace?"

Rachel shrugged and tilted her head back to look at him. "Am I not allowed to like them?"

"You know what I meant."

"Sorry." She sneered. "Things aren't exactly going my way right now." She shoved past him and used her index finger and thumb to pull her hair back, sighing.

"Of course." He called after her. "Princess doesn't get what she wants and turns to self-harm. What an attention whore."

Rachel's breath hitched in her throat and turned on her heel, storming back to him. "You wanna know why I'm cutting, Puckerman? Why I'm an 'attention whore'?" His face welcomed her explanation. "I have cancer, you insensitive fuck."

Puck's face went from pissed to apologetic. "Oh, shit, Rache. I-I'm sorry. I didn't know." He ran a hand atop his Mohawk.

"Yeah, no one does. I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way." She snapped before going back the way she came, her head held high.

Mercedes sidled up besides Puck. "What was that about?" She had observed the whole thing.

"I know why Berry is cutting."

-x-

Blaine's phone rang in between class passing. It was Mercedes. He stepped to the side, bringing the phone to his ear, "Hello."

"Hey Blaine, you're on speaker. Puck is here too."

"Noah." Blaine said by way of greeting.

"Anderson." Puck responded.

"Why the middle of the day school call?"

"Rache did her top one hundred song today." Mercedes began.

"Oh?"

"It was Pain, by Three Days Grace." Puck added.

"I don't see the big deal." Blaine admitted, bringing his watch up to check the time.

"Berry is normally all Broadway-happy an' shit." Puck grunted. "Three Days Grace, not her style."

"And…?" Blaine the word out into a question. "I don't mean to be rude, but I have to get to class-"

"We know why Rachel is cutting." Mercedes blurted, cutting Blaine off and effectively silencing him.

"She has cancer." Puck sighed.

Blaine let out a deep breath, running a hand down his face. "Alright. We'll sort this all out on Friday. Noah, I assume you're going to be there at Breadstix, too?"

"Hell yeah. I'm not going to not be there for Berry. Especially when I called her an attention whore."

"Noah!" Blaine admonished.

"I thought she was doing it for attention! Jesus, she's always liked the spotlight." He all but shouted in his defense.

"Okay. Let's just calm down and work this out rationally." Mercedes intervened.

"Actually, I have to go." Blaine looked around at the near-empty hallway, only a few students lingering or running to their class with a frazzled look about them, "I'm gonna be late to class."

"Alright. We'll talk to you soon." Mercedes sighed.

"Hopefully under better circumstances. Bye guys."

Their byes were said and Blaine rushed off to his next class, French.

"Monsieur Anderson, pourquoi êtes-vous en retard?" (Mr. Anderson, why are you late?)His teacher, Madame Da Silva, reprimanded.

"Je suis désolé, madame, j'ai laissé tomber mes livres dans le couloir." (I'm sorry, Madam. I dropped my books in the hallway." He lied, apologetically.

"D'accord." She accepted his apology ruefully and went back to teaching her French IIII class.

Blaine sighed and pulled out his notebook, copying the notes off the board.