Final chapter and the big reveal. Also, a much needed character arc :). As mentioned in earlier chapters, this Shepard trusts Liara as much as she does Garrus, and those two individuals are the only two people she cares about. This takes place during the Shadow Broker mission, right after Liara has assumed the role of the Broker. I veer from the canon in this re-imagined scene, but I assure you that I do not alter the outcome. Since I'm sure this may be a question: yes, Liara and Shepard's relationship is meant to border on the line between friendship and romance (since I feel like it does in the game if you don't romance her), however it stays safely within friendship for the reasons Shepard gives below.

To those who have reviewed, thank you for your kind words and I am glad that you took the time to read this story. Since this is the last chapter: to those who may review in the future, thank you as well. I will try to reply to any questions via PM, but otherwise know that I appreciate you taking the time to review. I'll stop rambling now and let you read on.

P.S. For those who are curious, the poem that is referenced here is a modified "Spring and Fall" by Gerard Manly Hopkins. I highly recommend looking it up.

~N.Q. Wilder

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Confession

Shepard watched Garrus and Feron leave the Shadow Broker's office with a calculating expression. Her whole body tensed and readied to spring into action. When the door finally clicked shut, she reached for her sidearm and drew it. Liara, who stood with her back to Shepard, turned at the sound. Her eyes widened in confusion, but Shepard ignored her and crossed briskly towards the Shadow Broker's console while saying, "Let's get rid of this database, Liara. I don't have a sledgehammer, but a few well placed bullets should do." Her right arm swung out to aim at the exact center of the computer. Her eyes glowed with determination.

Jarred into action, Liara leaped towards the commander, hands waving frantically and fear noticeable on her face. "What are you doing, Shepard? There's no need to destroy all this. We can use it to stop the Reapers!"

The marine's eyes narrowed in response, her upper lip curling into a snarl. "I don't need this to complete my mission. No good can come of this. I'll remove the temptation to use it."

Liara sprang forward and grabbed Shepard's arm, forcing her to aim away from the console. If it had been anyone else, touching Shepard would have been a death wish, but Shepard was undeniably softer with the prothean expert. She seemed to hold back some of her harshness around Liara. "Be reasonable, Shepard," Liara pleaded. "All the data in the galaxy is right here. I can use it to help you. Please."

Shepard looked angrily at the woman who held her arm in order to block the shot, her jade eyes searching the blue ones for a long while. Her mouth was still twisted into a grimace of disgust, but her stillness spoke of hesitance. Finally, she pulled away from Liara's grip sharply and said, "You've done enough for me already, Liara. You don't need to do any more. Being the Shadow Broker is not clean work. You don't want that."

The asari's eyebrows raised at the unexpected concern in Shepard's words. It wasn't like the commander to give up anything that might help her in her fight against the Reapers. It wasn't like her to take a chance. The Broker's information was a powerful tool; Shepard would never willingly give up that advantage. Liara said, "Shepard I... I've already done terrible things in order to get to this point... I know what has to be done. Why are you so against using this resource?"

Uncertainty filled those green eyes. "It's not too late for you to go back to the way things were, Liara. You can walk away from this. Please, just walk away from this." You fool! Shepard's mind screamed. You shouldn't even give her the choice! Why don't you just put a bullet in that damn computer and be done with it? But she didn't raise her gun again.

Liara frowned as she answered, "I can't go back, Shepard. Not after I know everything that I do about the Reapers. How can I just pretend they don't exist?" She tried to reach out and rest a hand on Shepard's arm again, but the commander quickly evaded her by stepping back. Unfazed, Liara went on, "But why does this matter so much to you? I want to help you; why are you pushing me away?"

Shepard rounded on her angrily, "You think I want to? I'm trying to protect you! Why can't you just do as I tell you? This isn't your path, Liara! This isn't your fate!"

"Fate?" the asari asked. "What do you mean, fate?"

Mentally kicking herself, Shepard let out a low curse. "Forget I said anything," she snapped. "Just trust me on this." Those green eyes refused to meet Liara's blue ones again. The commander shifted her weight uncomfortably and pretended to be more interested in putting away her sidearm.

Raising an eyebrow, Liara pressed on, "What do you mean by fate, Shepard? You aren't the type of person to believe in fate." She watched as the commander uncharacteristically squirmed while trying to answer. Never before had the asari seen Shepard so uneasy.

"I don't." The dark haired woman said. Then she added, "I mean, not every action is planned out. There could be some things though that are unavoidable for certain people... Certain things beyond our control." Suddenly she shook her head. "Why am I talking about this? I don't want to debate philosophy. We can destroy this base, Liara. A few well placed explosives and bam! It's gone. It would be good for you."

But Liara wasn't about to be distracted; she knew when she had unearthed something valuable. She had stumbled upon something no one had ever imagined existed within Shepard. Now, she just had to bring it into the light for study. "So, some people could have predetermined fates? Like what?" She phrased it innocently enough, hoping to lure the commander back into disclosing her personal thoughts.

Shepard wasn't biting though. "No, we're not talking about my personal beliefs, Liara. We're talking about the Shadow Broker." Mentally she dug her heels in for the argument ahead.

Yet, Liara wasn't the same naive scientist she had once been. She could play the game just as well as Shepard. "If such things as fates existed," she mused, "then the trick would be how does one go about discovering their fate? And once one knew his or her fate, why bother struggling anymore? What will happen will happen regardless of whether you work towards it, right?"

Shepard knew what Liara was up to. Her lips formed a thin line, and she didn't trust herself to say anything in response.

"It seems obvious," Liara went on, as if she were merely trying to puzzle out a trivial problem, "that if someone knew their fate, it would make their life so much easier. You wouldn't have to do anything at all, just wait for events to happen."

Before she could stop herself, Shepard found herself shouting in rage. "Easy? You think it's easy? It shades every damn thing I do! Do you have any idea what it's like to have that kind of knowledge in the back of your head all the time?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the commander flinched.

Liara managed to smother a satisfied grin and pressed on gently, "What's always in the back of your head, Shepard? Do you think that you know your fate?"

The dark haired woman looked around the room slowly. No Cerberus cameras, she thought. Nothing to record a confession. Just one other soul. A soul that might be saved if she only knew... Maybe it's time to tell someone. There was a long period of silence in the dark room, but Liara waited patiently. Finally, Shepard came to a decision.

Taking in a deep breath, she said, "You know I am not a woman of faith, Liara. I don't believe in anything I can't see or touch with my bare hands. Except for one thing. It haunts me wherever I go, dogging my steps and always present in my mind." She turned her head to look out the window at the storm raging outside. A flash of lightning illuminated her face before leaving shadows across her features. "To die..." she whispered, more to herself than to Liara. "No mouth had, no nor mind expressed, what heart heard of, ghost guessed. It is the blight man was born for... It is myself I mourn for." Old words that seemed more real now than they ever had in the past. When her green eyes drifted back to Liara's pale blue orbs, Shepard knew that the asari would not recognize the lines of poetry, but she hadn't uttered them for her benefit. Drawing herself up to her full height, straightening her back and lifting her chin, Shepard steeled her nerves. "I have known, from a very young age that I would not die in some quiet, peaceful way. I would not grow old, or have children, or ever stop fighting. I am destined to struggle my whole life. I was so young when I realized this that I did not grieve the loss of my future. By the time I was old enough to realize what I had lost, I had lived with the knowledge long enough to not feel much. Then, when I joined the Tenth Street Reds I realized that not only would I not die peacefully, but that I would die in battle, probably in some painful way."

Liara's eyes were wide and her face paler than usual. She fumbled to offer some kind of comfort. "Shepard..." she whispered, attempting to close the distance and place a hand on the other woman's shoulder, but Shepard shook her head and stepped back.

"No. I need to say this all now. Everything. Or I will never say it out loud. Please... just listen."

Liara froze mid-stride, but nodded for Shepard to continue.

Taking a deep breath, the dark haired woman went on, "Later on in my life, when I joined the Alliance, I realized that when I died, it would be in service to humanity; which was an oddly comforting thought, I suppose. Though, at the time, I thought I would simply die in order to complete a mission - the same risk that every other soldier takes. It wasn't until the events with Saren and Sovereign that I realized the extent of my fate. I am destined to die in the fight against the Reapers. If I succeed, and stop the Reapers from harvesting all life in the galaxy, then I will not be around to see the victory. But I will make sure that when I die, I take the Reapers with me. I am determined to succeed."

The confidence in her voice hung in the air, reverberating against the walls of the ship. But her face did not share the same quality. Those green eyes seemed glassy and she averted them from Liara quickly. "That's why... That's why I've done all that I've done: to make sure that I am able to fight that final battle. So that I can defeat the Reapers. The horrible things I've done... I did because I could not risk dying before I could fulfill my destiny. Saving Joker... that was my moment of weakness. And it got me killed. My last thoughts were that I had failed in my purpose. Then, confusion as I wondered if maybe I was never destined to see that final battle after all. But fate refused to release me from my duty. Dying once and coming back, it's just convinced me of what I already knew: that my death was decided a long time ago."

Raising her eyes back to the asari, Shepard could see that Liara was struggling to accept what she had said. No doubt she was skeptical that what Shepard had said about her fate was true; the commander could hardly blame her, she had little proof to back up her claim. But now they were both too far down this path for either of them to go back. It was true: Liara could never just be a prothean scientist again. She could never go back to innocence. Yet, maybe - just maybe - if they came to a fork in the road somewhere down the line she could convince Liara to go a different way. Until that time, however, they would have to walk side-by-side and Shepard had to be honest with her only traveling companion; it could make all the difference in the end.

"I hope that you can forgive me, Liara," Shepard said quietly.

Tilting her head and raising an eyebrow, Liara asked, "What for? I don't understand."

Shepard sighed. "For everything. For getting you into this whole mess. For not forcing you off the Normandy at the first civilian port we reached when we met. For the cruel things I said to you sometimes... For pushing you away so harshly when you - when you told me how you felt."

Realization lit Liara's eyes and she gently took a step towards the commander while answering, "I never wanted to leave the Normandy, Shepard. I wanted to help you fight Saren. I wanted to stay with you."

Shepard twisted away from Liara and paced back, elongating the distance that Liara had gradually been attempting to close between them. "I know, and I knew then too. And I was stupid, selfish. I let myself get torn between wanting you around for comfort and wanting to protect you. In the end I pulled you down this path with me. You have to understand I never wanted this."

"You wanted me around?" Liara asked meekly, hopefully.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Shepard looked the asari straight in the eye. "Of course, I did, Liara. You and Garrus were the only people who never judged what I did. Wrex too, I suppose, but he's different from you. You never looked at me like I was a monster for the things I had to do. You were everything... everything I could never have. Innocence, a hope for the future... I wanted to protect you for those reasons, but I also wanted to keep you close to make myself feel better. A vain attempt to have some sort of friend before the end. I was stupid."

Again, Liara inched towards Shepard. "That's not stupid. I wanted to be your friend too. It's not stupid to not want to be alone."

Shepard's frustration rose to the surface and biotic sparks erupted along her body as she pulled a chair from across the room and sent it careening into a nearby wall. The crash echoed across the chamber, punctuated by a growl that tore from the commander's lips. "No! You don't understand, Liara! I'm going to die, and soon! How can I do that to you? Or anyone? Come into your life when I know that I will leave it just as quickly and in some horrible, violent way? It isn't fair to you, or to me! I want you to run away from me, Liara! I've tried pushing you away, but you keep coming back and I'm tired of being cruel to you when it only hurts me. I want you to wash your hands of all this. Let me do something good for a change! Please!"

The biotic glow surrounding the commander faded as she let her head fall into her hands. Her normally orderly hair, slicked back into a tight bun, was falling around her face in small tendrils. From where she stood, Liara could see the many scratches and scuff marks on the woman's armor, some new and some old. She could never recall seeing the commander this unraveled, this vulnerable.

Liara began to tiptoe forward, trying to be as nonthreatening as possible. "Shepard, I-"

But the commander's head snapped up as Liara approached and the fire was suddenly back in her green eyes. The biotic glow around her body licked the air like blue fire and the power roiling off her hit Liara's senses in waves. A threat, a warning: don't come any closer. "Stop!" the dark haired woman commanded. "Why can't you listen to what I say, Liara? Don't come towards me!"

But Liara ignored the threat and continued to inch forward. "You aren't my commander anymore, Shepard," she said firmly. "You can't just expects me to obey your orders anymore."

Shepard's face twisted into an expression of pain and fury. "Dammit, Liara! I'm not kidding around! I want you to run away from me. From all of this. Please! I don't want to hurt you!" As if to accentuate the point, the biotic field around her pulsed and sparked.

Liara remained unfazed and continued her march forward, never taking her eyes off Shepard's. "You will not walk into the darkness alone," Liara stated with conviction. "I choose to walk alongside you, regardless of the outcome."

No! Shepard's mind screamed. I can't force Liara down this path. There is still hope for her future. I refuse to have something to lose in the end. It isn't fair. I will sacrifice myself, but I will not place Liara upon the altar to be lost as well. The fear and helpless rage within her filled her until she could hardly see straight. The room lurched all around her, though she could still see Liara walking resolutely towards her. Somehow, Shepard knew, she had to stop this.

It seemed to take no effort at all to push all her biotic energy outward, sending it like a battering ram to push Liara back. All she was aware of was the energy leaving her body in a great tide, a roar escaping her lips, and seeing Liara pushed back. In her haze, Shepard couldn't tell if the asari had raised any barriers in defense. She couldn't recall how Liara looked when she hit the opposite wall. And now her head was spinning so fast she could hardly think. Using that much biotic energy and without any control was an amateur mistake - a kneejerk reaction. It left her head foggy and caused her stomach to pitch as she suddenly felt the energy drain from her body. Stumbling forward, Shepard fell to one knee and knelt hunched over, staring at the ground that shifted before her eyes.

At that moment her thoughts focused on the purely visceral. She closed her eyes to fight back the nausea rising inside her, but her arms trembled at her sides. Sweat coalesced at her brow, sliding down her temple and coming to rest along her jaw. Slowly, her thoughts drifted to what she had just done. She had pushed Liara away, maybe hurt her - she couldn't bring herself to look. If Liara hadn't gotten her barriers up in time... there was a strong possibility that Shepard had killed her. She wanted to weep. Wanted to dredged up all the muck in her soul and empty it from her body in one torrential sob. But when she reached for her heart, for the tears, she found a hole in her chest and hollowness. Her eyes remained dry, pressed tightly shut, while her breath rattled about in her throat. It occurred to Shepard that perhaps she didn't know how to cry anymore. Perhaps all she could do was tremble and sweat. It wasn't the same, but it was all she could do.

On the other side of the room, Liara lay sprawled in a heap after colliding with the wall. Her head rested limply against her shoulder and the wall while her eyes remained closed. A small trickle of blood flowed from a split lip, dripping down the front of her shirt in spots. She was fortunate enough to have raised her barriers in the last possible moment, but the force of the biotic push had still sent her flying back to slam against the wall with considerable force. Some time passed before her fingers twitched and her eyes fluttered open. Grunting and rolling her head to an upright position, Liara stared across the room at Shepard who remained knelt down with her head bowed as if she were paying homage to royalty. Gripping her side, Liara slowly rose to her feet and limped over to the commander, albeit cautiously.

Shepard didn't notice Liara's approach, or anything for that matter. A hand on her shoulder startled her out of her guilt-ridden trance and her head snapped up to gaze at Liara. She immediately noticed the blood on the asari's face and her bent posture which showed that she was in pain. But she was alive. Shepard opened her mouth to say that she was sorry, to beg for forgiveness, but she couldn't seem to find her words. All she could manage was to stare open mouthed at Liara. She wished that she had tears to offer the asari instead of the sweat dripping down her face.

"I think," Liara said suddenly, her voice surprisingly calm and even, "that maybe my fate was decided a long time ago too. Maybe I am destined to walk with you right up until the end. And maybe we will not end up in the same place, but we will still share the road." Her blue eyes were searching Shepard's green ones. "Maybe my path will veer off before the end, though I will not be upset if I must walk all the way with you, but it is still too soon to say what will be." Then she knelt down beside Shepard, her face close to the commander's and a determined look on her features. "Maybe neither of us are in control of our fates anymore, Shepard. Just as I cannot save you from your destiny, you cannot save me from mine. All we can do is fulfill our roles."

Liara pulled Shepard into a tight embrace, even as they both knelt awkwardly on the floor. She felt Liara's lips press lightly against her cheek, a speck of blood sticking to her skin, and then a whisper in her ear. "You will always be my friend, Shepard. We will see where this path leads together."

And suddenly Shepard felt warm water running down her face and an ache in her chest. She blinked in surprise as she realized that she was crying, but she also smiled. It felt good to feel something for a change. She knew that it didn't change anything in the end. Regardless of whether she was alone in her fate or not, the outcome would be the same. But it still felt good.