Dice
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Suddenly, there was a knock on Kiku's door. Kiku stiffened and hesitated. "Now, who could that be at this hour? It is almost dinner time…," he thought curiously. Another knock was heard. Kiku sighed and got up from his kneeling position and headed towards the door to answer it. "Might as well not be rude…" he supposed.
You can imagine my surprise
When you appeared like a ghost
I saw your pleading eyes
And your quivering lips the most
Kiku instantly regretted sliding open his paper screen door when he saw Arthur. He looked pathetic, really. His dandelion hair was messier than usual and his clothes looked dirty and thrown on. His emerald eyes were puffy and rimmed with redness, as if he's been crying for hours on end. And his lips…they kept opening and closing as he panted and huffed, trying to catch his breath. The only thing that looked nice was the bouquet of…wait, were those chrysanthemums? Yellow chrysanthemums? They looked absolutely beautiful, held tightly in Arthur's hand. They looked freshly cut, were wrapped in white plastic and tied together with a big red bow, and smelled so sweet. Kiku gazed at the flowers lovingly, but abruptly stopped. No. This was a trap. Another cruel way to break him. Kiku clenched his fists and was about to slide the door shut, but Arthur quickly stopped the door with his free hand. "Wait!" he begged.
I gave you the harshest glare
And demanded what you want
You think I really care
About taking you back or not?
"What?" Kiku snapped as he glared at him, his chocolate brown eyes hardening into two stones. His manners didn't matter now, for all he felt was pain, anger, and irritation boiling inside him by just looking at the Brit. Arthur was taken aback by this, but hastily tried to compose himself.
"I…I'm sorry…" he finally apologized with downcast eyes, feeling too ashamed to look at him directly. Kiku gave him a few moments, waiting to see if he would say anything else. When he didn't, Kiku laughed bitterly. "Sorry? Is that all you can say? Sorry?"
'Cause believe me, I don't
You came back too late
This heart is chained; you won't,
You can't fix our fate
Arthur didn't know what to do or say. He had gone through the hassle of rummaging through his laundry, trying to find the nicest not-so-dirty clothes he could find (he was behind on all the laundry with all the business trips he had been taking lately so fresh clothes were scarce), picking out a decent pair of shoes, rushing out the door, starting his car, getting stuck in traffic for hours only to find out he needs gas afterwards, taking a cab to the closest airport, buying a plane ticket to Japan at the last minute, dashing on board, waiting on the plane for several more grueling hours, dashing out of the plane once it landed, running to the nearest flower shop only to discover he needs to pay for flowers in yen, running off to one of those world currency exchanges and exchanging his sterling for yen, running back to the flower shop and buying a bouquet of chrysanthemums since he knew they were Kiku's favorite, taking a bus, hurrying out of the bus and down the trail that led to Kiku's house, and finally knocking on the door. He did all of this, but now that he was here at last, face to face with Japan personified and his ex-friend, his courage and confidence were slipping away. He swore he had practiced it a dozen times, but now that the time had come, he was unable to search for or say the right words. So he just stood there, flummoxed.
Kiku shook his head solemnly, covering his eyes with his bangs. "That's what I thought." He turned away from the door and stalked back inside his house.
You had your turn at dice
You had your turn to roll
But the numbers weren't suffice
To you, so now you pay the toll
"K-Kiku! Please, hear me out!" Arthur pleaded, sliding open the door wider and stepping inside.
Immediately, Kiku spun around and flashed a look of anger and frustration, mixed with betrayal. "IIE! Do not DARE call me by my name again! Do you understand? I HATE YOU!" He trembled as tears began to spill and run down his cheeks. "I hate you, you…baka!" He covered his face with his hands and cried, "Baka! Shinjimae, baka!"
Arthur's thick eyebrows arched up and his eyes widened as he stared in shock. Kiku's words were like blades that stabbed his heart. "No…y-you can't mean that…"
"Yes I do!" he shouted furiously. "Do you honestly think that sorry can fix everything? That sorry can make me or you feel any happier? Well it does not! I do not want any apologies from you, Arthur-san!"
"Then what DO you want!" he shrieked back, no longer wanting to just stand there and take it.
"I want to know WHY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Kiku tightened his fists so hard, his knuckles turned white. "Why did you do that? Why did you choose Alfred-san over me? You were the one who came to me when you were looking for friends, correct?"
"Yes…" the Brit answered somberly. How could he not forget?
"But my boss was against it. My boss wanted me to be friends with Russia, but I disagreed. I willingly wanted to be your friend. So I went through the trouble to travel to your place and tell you at once. That was where we decided to make our alliance. You promised we would be great friends and I trusted you! But what did you do? You threw away our friendship the moment things were looking better for you with America!"
"I know…" Arthur whispered crestfallenly. "I know… And even if it doesn't make anything better, I'm sorry. I'm truly, deeply, utterly sorry. Please…please, give me another chance."
Excuse me? What's that?
You want another go?
You want another chance at
Shattering my soul?
"Why should I?" Kiku challenged with an angry glare. "You are nothing! Nothing but a lying, selfish, ignorant, most ungrateful, insolent, greedy, caterpillar-eyebrowed-!"
He was cut off when Arthur's lips suddenly crashed onto his. Kiku's eyes went wide in astonishment and he tried to protest by pulling away, but Arthur wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly, not wanting him to escape. In the end, Kiku gradually grew tired of struggling and finally relaxed in his arms, his rage and pain melting away. He slowly closed his eyes and kissed back. It was a sweet, passionate kiss that seemed to last forever until they had to break apart, gasping for air. Kiku felt dazed as red rushed into his cheeks. Arthur looked away in embarrassment, his face redder than Kiku's.
"I…I'm sorry, Kiku, but the truth is, I don't want us to be just friends anymore. I want us to be more than that," he spoke tenderly to him while wiping away Kiku's tears with his thumb. "I felt so guilty after betraying you like that, terminating our alliance all for the sake of Alfred. Night after night, day after day, I couldn't stop thinking about you, nor will I ever stop. I tortured myself with thoughts of never being able to see you, or talk to you properly again. It pained me, and the burden of knowing I caused you suffering only increased every hour, every minute, even every second, until it became too unbearable." His confidence rose now as he caressed Kiku's face and Kiku held his hand there, their eyes locking, gazing into each other as he continued. "That's when I realized I was a fool, a huge git, to lose someone as precious as you. I miss you. I miss the chats we had over tea, your laugh, and your smile the most." He gently pushed back some hair in Kiku's eyes and tucked it behind his ear. "I love you, Kiku Honda. All I ask for is your forgiveness and another chance to start over. Please."
Logic would deny
But love has sympathy
Revenge and anger die
Forgiveness it shall be
Kiku couldn't believe what he was hearing. True, there was still a part of him that felt hurt by Arthur's betrayal, but now that Arthur confessed genuine feelings towards him, he couldn't help but feel a wave of joy overwhelm him. This is what he's been waiting for, what both of them have been waiting for. At last, for the first time in a long time, Kiku smiled warmly through his tears and threw his arms around Arthur's neck, burying his face into his chest.
"Hai…"
You smiled in relief
I'm handing you the dice
We embraced as I prayed,
"Please don't break my heart twice…"
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Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!
For those who are confused:
Sterling=British currency
Iie= "No"
Shinjimae= "Go to hell" or "drop dead"
I assume you know what baka and hai mean. If not, they simply mean "idiot" and "yes."
Yep, so this was of course dedicated to the Anglo-Japanese Alliance! Sadly it ended in 1923 because apparently the British Commonwealth had to sacrifice it in favor of the good will of America or something. Japan mistrusted England after that and felt that England no longer wished for the best for Japan. There's more to the story if you look it up on Wikipedia. I don't know about England's and Japan's relationship now, so this story might be slightly inaccurate… The stanzas that are italicized make up the poem I, Akiko Arihima, wrote for this story! I love this pairing and am super happy I finally made a fanfic about them, so yeah! X3 Reviews and favoriting are encouraged and greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading! *flashes peace sign*