Happy birthday to AutumnDynasty! I won't embarrass you by announcing your age in public (well, on the internet, lolololol), but at least you can't call me old anymore! XD

Oh, and have some Hetalia.

You're welcome.

Instead of the Cross

"I don't want to fight with you, England."

England looked at him through his eyelashes, barely lifting his head to do so.

"You have a funny way of showing it," he replied coolly. "You must think that France and I are idiots."

"I don't see what Poland is to you that the two of you would form an alliance with him," Germany said sharply. "Except, perhaps, merely to incense me."

"Ah, yes, of course." England linked his hands together and rested his chin on them. "That's precisely what all this has been about, Germany, you stupid prick. All of us ganging up on you just to irritate you and having absolutely nothing to do with you invading whoever you bleeding well feel like."

Germany's smile was very dry.

"That's somewhat hypocritical of you to say, don't you think?"

"It is." England glanced aside. "Of course it is. But things are different now." He sighed and pressed his hands against his brow, silent for a long moment. "The Great War. Is that what you want? You want another of those?"

Germany shook his head.

"No, I don't want that," he said. "That was senseless. I don't want that all over again—"

"Then stop." England looked at him tiredly. "What else do you think will come of this, Germany? If not me then someone will stand in your way, let me assure you – and when someone stands in your way, you have a war. Another goddamn war. If that's not what you want then stop, for fuck's sake."

Germany clenched his fists.

"I want an Empire," he said in a low, savage voice. "An easy Empire that nobody contests, that everyone respects and fears – like yours, England. Nobody nailed you to a cross as a tyrant and a war-mongerer, did they? Nobody blamed you. Nobody hated you."

England looked at the ceiling, smirking.

"I knew this was about Versailles," he hummed.

"It wasn't fair!" Germany slammed his hands down on the table. "It wasn't fair at all and you all knew it wasn't – you and France! Casting all the blame on me—"

"Well, we needed to nail somebody to a cross, didn't we?" England shrugged. "And unfair though it may have been, you were not entirely without blame in the whole sorry affair, Germany. What instead of the cross, may I ask? Europe wanted blood – more than what it was already drenched in. You were the very man."

Germany straightened his back.

"Regardless," he said coldly, "that is all behind me now. I've worked my way out of the humiliation and the poverty you and France took such glee in punishing me with. I'm going to be great again, greater than before so that even my brother will be in awe of what the German nation has achieved. Europe will bow to me, England."

"I'm Europe," England said pleasantly, "and yet he we are. You and I. Discussing how you'll bring me to my knees."

Germany shook his head.

"No," he argued, "that's not what I want. You and I have a lot in common – even our royal bloodlines are intertwined. I don't want to fight you again, England."

"Mm – because you lost last time." England rose, moving around the table.

"It won't be so this time, I assure you." Germany frowned as England passed him. "England, don't you realise what I'm offering you?"

"Of course I do. It's a get Out of Jail Free card." England paused, glancing over his shoulder at him. "All I have to do is stay out of your way and you won't declare war on me."

"Not only that." Germany rose abruptly himself, catching hold of England's wrist to stop him walking away. "I'm not asking you to ally yourself with me – all I'm asking is that we reach some kind of agreement. Do that and I won't touch anything of yours." He leant in close to whisper his promise in England's ear. "I'll let you keep your Empire."

England hesitated for a moment, clearly considering the offer.

"That's all it takes," Germany went on quietly. "This doesn't have to be a war. Despite the Great War, despite Versailles, I have no real want to hurt you. It's just that you insist on being difficult, England."

"Agreeing to your terms is the same as bowing to you, even if it means saving my own skin." England turned to him, trying to pull his wrist back. "Therefore I refuse your oh-so-generous offer, Germany."

"Because you're too proud to do otherwise," Germany sneered, tightening his grip briefly. "You might have avoided a lot of wars in your time, you know, had you only some humility." He threw England's hand back at him. "Perhaps having your Empire taken from you will teach you a valuable lesson. You'll know then what I have endured since 1919."

"Ha." England snorted. "In lieu of your recent behaviour, I hardly think our judgement back then was all that misplaced. You seem to have licked your wounds clean enough, anyway."

"What other choice did I have but to die in poverty as you and France so wanted?" Germany bit out.

"A shame," England agreed lightly, "that you've taken to so disregarding the wishes of others."

There was a sharp, hostile moment of silence.

"I'll have your head, mark my words," Germany spat at length, his voice low and angry.

England simply shook his head at him.

"You give yourself some steep orders," he said. "You've no idea how many people have said that to me in the past. Still..." He looked Germany up and down. "I admit, back then, I never thought I'd have heard it from you. You were the only one who kissed me instead of cursed me. Then again, I suppose you might want to blame that solely on Victoria and Albert."

Germany's pale face coloured a little.

"Perhaps, then," he said stonily, "that is all the more reason for us to preserve any attachment that still exists between us."

"Hmm?" England smirked. "You mean that primped and polished little fling of ours. Those stolen moments at court parties were nothing more than pretence and you know it. It was expected of us, what with all the Anglo-German inbreeding in the crown." His expression hardened again. "And now it is expected of us to go to war with each other for a second time. That is, of course, if you do not yield to what France and I have offered."

Germany straightened himself up.

"As you turned down my offer, England," he said, "so I will turn down yours."

England shot him a lazy smile.

"Because you, too," he said softly, "are too proud to do anything but."

"We are matched in stubbornness as much as in anything else," Germany agreed. "We have always had a lot in common, you and I – and yet we have never been allies."

"Then to our best-beloved bed, old boy." England put out his hand to shake with him. "The battlefield, I mean."

Germany pressed his palm into his and they shook.

"Instead of the cross," he replied firmly. "Though I should take great pleasure in hanging you from it nonetheless."

England smiled pleasantly at him.

"I think you'd do better to hang all your blunders from it," he suggested mildly, "given that you wear it so well."

"Instead of the cross" comes from the poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge; I've referenced the line before in another fanfic of mine (I think it was The Ghost in the Machine), which runs 'Instead of the cross the albatross/About my neck was hung'.

Hitler was quite a big admirer of the structure of the British Empire and did offer to allow Britain to keep all of its assets in return for non-aggression towards Nazi German expansion, intending for there to be three "big" empires that carved up the world. Britain would keep what it already had (mostly African and Middle Eastern territories by this point), Germany would have Europe and Japan would have Asia (and Italy would get what it was given and jolly well like it).

But Britain said no, linked arms with France and WWII began. In short. XD

It's quite odd when you think about it, really. Britain actually had a far better reason than either Spain or the United States to stay neutral – it would actually have gained something from it. I guess we just like a war that much in Britain.

(Debatedly you could also argue it was valiant and upstanding morality on the part of Britain but, uh, y hello thar, British Empire. XD)

ANYWAY. I digress. AutumnDynasty, hope you enjoyed it! Happy birthday!

RR

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