Jayne didn't second-guess River all that often. She was the reader, after all, and who was stupid enough to argue with a reader? But, in this case, he thought he'd at least try to find another way. Serenity and her crew had got inside him, and as much as he didn't like to admit it, he knew he'd be just as miserable leaving as she would. And hell, if it didn't work, Mal would like as not kick him off anyway.

Jayne watched River say goodbye to her brother and disappeared to get her plan ready, and then as he looked back perplexed, Jayne slapped him across the shoulders in a friendly manner. "Wan' me to go with ye?" He offered. "I have an awful intimidatin' manner, and I wanna get off this sissy planet as soon as possible."

Simon shook his head. "I shouldn't be any more than an hour, Jayne - and your brand of discount won't help here, thanks for the offer though."

"Alright, Doc, if'n you say so." Jayne replied, turning around like he knew nothing and heading back into the ship easily. An hour didn't give him much time, but it also meant he didn't have to kill much time either. He went up to the empty cockpit, and pressed a few buttons.

"Wash," He said after a moment. "I dunno if you're hanging about here, seeing as we hit dirtside, but if'n you are, could use some back-up with this here plan." He looked for some kind of sign, but didn't expect any. He couldn't hear the little man like River could, but he knew the cockpit still felt like he was there, and he trusted the moonbrain.

He hit the comm. "Hey, Mal, could you come up to the bridge a minute?" He called, sitting down in the co-pilot's chair to wait. (He wouldn't want to sit on Wash if he was here and not down on the shiny Alliance planet sticking his tongue out at purple-bellies. Especially not as he had just asked the man a favour.

It didn't take Mal long to appear, obviously afraid his merc had dome something to his bridge. He seemed relieved to see everything in good working order. The captain let out a breath and sat down in the pilot's chair. "What is it, Jayne?"

"Wanted to talk to you, private-like." Jayne admitted. "I know you probably don't got any call to be believing me, Mal, but I love this here ship, and I'm awfully fond of this crew, and I ain't about to get stupid again." He was buying a little time, but not much. "I ain't no good with words, you know that - but I thought ye deserved to know why we's leaving."

And he didn't have to be River to see the shock on Mal's face at that. "We who? Leaving?"

"Crazy an' me." Jayne replied. He hit the receiver for the bug he had slipped on Simon, and sat back.

Simon's voice emanated small but recognisable from the bug. "I want you to understand that I want the best for my sister, Mr. Shaw. I hate to see her skulking around stealing the kind of things she was raised around - forced to choreograph a fight in order to waltz with someone. I'm not doing this for you or my parents or politics - I'm doing this for River."

The oily dockowner they had dealt with only cycles earlier started to respond, and Jayne switched off the bug. "Girl's convinced we gotta leave - prob'ly off packing now."

Mal was upset, he had stood during Simon's words and was now pacing the cockpit, running his hands through his hair like he did when 'Nara twisted him up with her girly wiles. Jayne needled him a little more. "Don't think Crazy thinks you'd try an' rescue 'er, after all the trouble them two done caused."

Mal snapped. "Ain't no one leavin' this boat!" He argued. "You get down to the bay, an' I'll go get Albatross, an the second Simon steps on board, you knock him out and seal the doors. We don't leave a man behind."

Feeling quite clever for once in his life, Jayne waited for the starched-shirt pantywaist to step back onboard and brought the butt of his best gun down on Simon's head with a satisfying crack. He slammed his palm against the button for the doors, knowing that purple-bellies wouldn't be far behind, and threw the doc over his shoulder as he carried him to the pantry, on captain's orders. As he finished locking him in, he found himself glad he hadn't been ordered to the airlock instead.

Still, Jayne hadn't been kind. He had hit Simon harder than he had to in order to knock him out, but he was sore with him for trying to sell off River. He deserved a knot on his head.

He settled himself outside the door, waiting to see who would come visit first. The ship's gravity shifted just slightly as auto-pilot kicked in, and moments later, the moonbrain appeared, with a smile as wide as a planet. "You saved her!" She declared.

"Hell, ain't like you was in danger." Jayne said, waving it off. "Just didn't want to leave is all. Ruined your plan an' all, though."

River shook her head. "She shouldn't plan." She admitted. "Can never properly account for all the variables. Can never quite get it right."

Jayne considered that. "So nex' time, ask. Mebbe we can see somethin' you can't, for all that you're a rutting genius."

River smirked. She raised herself up on tiptoes and kissed him briefly. "Man-named-Jayne is the Big Damn Hero today."

She then flounced off to undoubtedly get another lecture from the captain, leaving Jayne feeling like he had just won a 2 million credit jackpot.