When the chips are down I'll be around
With my undying, death-defying
Love for you
Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
~The Power of Love by Frankie goes to Hollywood.

I was jarred awake by a cold sensation running down my shoulder, it was only small, but my body had heated up through the night that it was enough. It didn't help that I was so on edge lately, and sleep was only light.

Even with my strengthened sight, I couldn't see much in the dark room, but Dawn's figure was unmistakable even in silhouette. I placed a hand on her shoulder, and she shuddered, wiping at her face quickly to confirm my thoughts.

"Dawn?" I breathed, staying still so as not to startle her. Even in the dark, I could see the whites of her eyes as she looked at me, wide and watery. I didn't need to ask what was wrong with her. Without a word, I slid my arm underneath her neck and curled it down her opposite shoulder to pull her close. She sniffed quietly and hiccuped until she could calm herself, and I stayed quiet. What could I say? No words would fix this, nothing would make her sleep better, or ease her pain, or put the ticking time bomb on hold for the night. Hate washed through me, like a fire that was slowly burning my stomach and making its way to every other part of me. I hated myself for putting her through this, and hated that I couldn't fix it.

Even her own lies hadn't convinced her enough to let her sleep for the night, she wasn't a good enough liar. Neither was I.

Pain had begun to sting across the bridge of my nose, and it only made me frown harder.

"I'm frightened Paul." She admitted.

"I know." I whispered, though the fire sped up, lashing up into my chest and causing my whole body to tense and pull her closer. "You don't need to be." I told her, I wished somehow I could do the worrying, let her fall into a dreamless slumber at least for a while.

"No I do." She said suddenly much more fiercely. "I'm terrified that... That when I..."

"You're not-" I tried to protest.

"If I die... I'm leaving you alone." She sobbed, a hand flying to her mouth as she sat up and placed her head on her knees. "I'm frightened... I'm frightened what you'll do when... If I... I don't want you to..." She continued talking but they were no longer words, just incomprehensible sobbing as she clawed at her face.

I shot up and sat in front of her on my knees, grabbing her wrists and shaking her. "I'm not going anywhere. Because you're going to pull through this. We're going to find you an antidote."

She let go of her face and looked me in the eye with her swollen ones, streaming never-endingly. "Do you honestly believe that, Paul?"

It startled me that she was confronting me like that. I blinked rapidly.

"I see the look in your eyes. The defeat. Like you're surrendering your own life." She told me, never ceasing to surprise me with her observing skills, especially with someone like me. And she stripped me down to a horrific feeling of vulnerability, because when I was truthful with myself, I knew the chances of saving her were slim. Then if she died, I would too. That's what she was afraid of.

But did she expect me to go on? After all we'd gone though, she expected me to just move on and get over her. The thought made me feel sick. I closed my eyes, because I'll be damned if I let her see the weakness she'd brought about in me.

A hand found my cheek, and her thumb made a tiny circle as she felt my skin, and I leaned into it, letting her soothe me once again, forever adding to my guilt. This woman before me, she completed me. Everything I lacked, she made up for tenfold, knowing how to deal with my inability to emote when all I wanted to do was sob with her. How could I not want to follow her if she died? I would follow her anywhere.

When I opened my eyes, she was closer, watching her own hand as it traced my jawline, barely touching me so it tingled. I stopped her by catching her wrist and pressed my lips into her palm. I pulled her wrist and kissed that as well, then kept pulling until her face was close and I closed the gap, my need for her controlling my every move. She seemed to be on the same wave length, her hands desperate and no longer gentle at all. Her nails clawed into my neck, but it only made me more frantic. She ran her nails down my front, feeling for my buckle. I lifted her shirt so it fell down to her wrists, and she threw it once she was done with my jeans. Wasting no more time, I pushed her back and kissed her harder, my hands propping myself up and not tiring in the slightest.

Her cold, shaky breath passed my ear as I kissed her shoulder; the bad one. I couldn't see how red it was, she was just a colourless version of herself in the dim moonlight that had managed to seep through onto her. She didn't flinch, only pressed her nose into my hair and kissed whatever skin she could find, my jaw, my ear... My name was in her breath. Her hands were like no other painkiller, easing every tension in my body as they slid from my neck, to my chest, to my back...

As we reached the edge, she reached for my neck and forced me to meet her, her lips furious as a growl rumbled through my throat in harmony with hers. Tears slid from her face and lingered at our noses, and before I knew it, I was caught up in it all too much and my tears met hers.

I couldn't lose this.

I'd let her fall asleep before I left. There was no way I was sleeping after such revelations. I stepped out of the laboratory and lingered in its gardens. Nothing in the scenery caught my eye, but it was mainly because I wasn't looking. Thoughts were consuming me, and before I could catch them, I fell into a crouch and clutched my hair, pulling my face down like I could hide from it all.

Hopelessness. It was the only word I could find to describe it.

"Hey."

I shot my head up and turned to see Gary approaching, his face a hollow reflection of my own. "Me and Ash are setting off in a minute."

I nodded, standing up and offering him my hand. "Thanks for doing this." I said genuinely. I didn't particularly like the guy, but he was doing his utmost for Dawn and I couldn't ignore that.

"Dawn's a good friend of mine, I wouldn't turn away from her." He assured me as he took my hand, though frustration was clearly on his face too. When I said nothing, he continued. "I've been doing some research through the night, and there have been some reported disturbances in the pokemon wildlife not too far from here. It could be anything, but it's a start, yeah?"

"Definitely." I said, trying to force a smile, but even the genuine ones never seemed right on my face. He frowned at me a little, then nodded.

"Help yourself to whatever you need around here, and call us if something happens. There's emergency resuscitation equipment in the main lab, but hopefully you shouldn't need it." He informed me. "Keep an eye on her shoulder, if it starts going bad-"

"I'll call you right away. Thanks."

With that, and a swift farewell from Ash, I was left alone with my thoughts, but I was no longer as scrambled as I was before Gary had shown up. I had something to concentrate upon, and it was Dawn's current well being that I focussed upon and not her impending doom. I couldn't ignore it forever, but for now, I could only be strong for her.