Author's Notes: Wow. This was a little fic that turned into a major headache.

My 'One Last Problem' readers knew I was going on sabbatical from my fic to work on a movie and a larger literary project. But because of their wonderful support I wanted to give my great readers a present in the form of a one shot I'd developed. So I figured I'd put the nearly-complete work on ice until Christmas, and punch a few things up when it came time to post. Really, with the fic looking as good as it did, why should it need any major work?

Oh, what a difference three months makes.

After a read-through several days ago, I realized that large sections of the plot made no sense. Worse yet, there was no emotional resonance and the damn thing read more as a PWP than an actual story. So I had to expand everything into a much larger fic. And the smut I promised in September doesn't even start until the next chapter.

Oy.

Still, while there may not be much to this chapter, what is there is choice. Sit back, enjoy, and don't forget to review. The next chapter will be up around this time next Friday.

Also: I d like to give a shout-out of much love to my darling girl, FuryOfTheFlames. She helped me out so much on this fic with her Beta work, writer's block demolition, bondage suggestions, and getting me asking - in abject confusion - "What the hell do you mean you like to use silk scarves and chopsticks during a blowjob?"

Disclaimer: Smut, smut, and more smut with plot sprinkles. There are some signifigant chapters with signifigant plot points, but overall it's just two kids letting off some steam.

Rating: NC-17 Doy

In retrospect, Hiccup knew he should have hid when he saw Astrid talking to Toothless.

It had been Bath Day, and he woke up finding he was last in line. Right behind the house, the armor, the weapons, and his father.

Not that Hiccup minded. He was still sleepy, still exhausted after staying up all night sketching and designing. And between a fuzzy head and time to kill he had a great excuse to wander up near the tree line.

... and as far away from Astrid's house as possible.

It wasn't that he didn't still love, need, and long for his fiance. It wasn't that he didn't want her every night and find some reason every day to wish the days would pass quickly. (One month, six days until the wedding, and counting.) And it wasn't that she didn't turn his head every time she walked by him in the village.

It was her mother.

He knew Bruhilda Hofferson was a battle axe, even by Viking standards. If growing up in the same village with her family hadn't clued him in, throughout the years of their extended courtship Astrid had mentioned it approximately a dozen times. A month.

But knowing it was one thing. Being on the other end of the woman's battleaxe after she and Stoick had preformed a shotgun engagement was another thing.

He had thought the woman liked him well enough before. Always a kind word, always avoided telling him he was an idiot even when the rest of the village was thinking so. He even remembered Brunhilda bringing Astrid over when she babysat them as little kids. She'd done so much to help their family after his mother's death. His mother had been one of Brunhilda's best friends and the Hofferson matriarch was proud that it had taken six monstrous nightmares working together to destroy her.

But as soon as Hiccup became her son-in-law to be, something changed. Even with the date set, and preparations being made, the woman would not stop finding ways of making his life a living hell.

Every time he and Astrid found themselves alone enough to share a kiss, hold hands, or walk down the street together, Brunhilda would come barreling out of no where and pounce upon them like a mad berserker. With the number of times he had been thrown in a body of water to 'calm his wanton urges' it was a miracle his clothes had had a chance to dry at all.

And it wasn't like he had any help discouraging her. Astrid got into a screaming match with her mother everytime she attacked. Then her mother would start screaming back. Then the battleaxes would come out, spectators would start placing bets, and Hiccup would have to scramble to higher ground to get out of the way. Even if Astrid was starting to win more and more of these fights, it didn't stop Brunhilda from seeking them out.

He'd already told Toothless that Brunhilda would be his mother-in-law soon - by all the tricks of Loki, mother-in-law! - and the dragon had responded to the boy's request not to harm her. A little too well in fact. He had caught his best friend laughing at one of his random soakings more than once, and looking a bit too smug about the situation in general.

But thinking about Toothless got Hiccup thinking about flying. There had been so much going on that he and his friend only flew a few times a week. Now that he wasn't just moping over Astrid, he did spend much more time with Toothless than he had. But he missed flying with his best friend. And he missed how flying cleared his head and helped him find solutions.

His leg had started to rust from all the random soakings, but it could still operated the levers to Toothless' tail fin. A few rounds around the island, maybe a trip to the preserve they'd established on Helhelm's gate... all could be done before it was time for his bath. And the trip would give him some thinking time alone with his best friend.

As he made his way to the back entrance of his house, he found a familiar tail wagging from around the corner. Happy he didn't have to look too far, Hiccup walked to the side of the house where Toothless was lazing on a lush patch of grass.

With Astrid. Who was talking to him.

"... like the cave." Astrid was saying to Toothless. She shrugged her shoulder to re-adjust the huge coil of rope she was holding on to, "It's going to sound bad, but I really won't be doing anything."

Toothless harrumphed, swished his tail, and didn't look convinced.

"Well, nothing bad. If we get into trouble, I'll call out your name. But otherwise - "

Toothless looked right at Hiccup. Astrid froze, and looked behind her.

"Hiccup!" she said, voice suddenly a little too high pitched, "Just - Just the man I was looking for."

"Really? You were looking for me? Wow, I was just... wait." Hiccup tensed and started looking around them for any oncoming attacks, "Where's your-"

"Mom's taking her bath." Astrid quickly said.

"How long is that going to take?"

"Dad's stalling her."

"Oh. Good." Hiccup smiled, "I was just thinking of you."

Astrid grinned - almost in spite of herself - and she looked at the ground as she adjusted the heavy coil of rope on her shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't mean like..." Hiccup started.

"No." Astrid said, hugging the coil of rope to her side, "I... I'm always thinking about you."

Hiccup knew he looked flustered as he tried to run his hand over the back of his neck.

"Actually - " Astrid said. Then stopped herself.

"Yes?"

"I might need your help."

"Sure! Anything, just let me know."

"Well..." Astrid pulled the end of the coil out and handed it over to the boy, "I need to use this rope for something. But the knot at the end..."

"Looks like a smaller version of the Gorgon Knot." Hiccup finished. Learning Grecian stories was always his favorite part of Old Wrinkly's Latin lessons.

"I figured blacksmiths have strong hands and agile fingers, so..."

"No, yeah, I can help you out there." Hiccup said. He started to sit down, but Astrid pulled him up.

"I think the light is better over here."

"You might be right." Hiccup said, following where she was pulling him. "How did you get it like this?"

"Well, it took a while." Astrid muttered, "I think you might be able to get that loop free if your elbows were touching."

Entirely innocent, Hiccup followed her suggestion.

As Astrid shifted the rope around a bit, he could hear Toothless in the background, making a quiet chuckling sound.

"It almost looked like someone tied this knot, soaked it, and set it on fire. Where did you get this?"

"From Mom."

"Oh."

"It's all right." Astrid said, pulling the length of rope tight, and securing it with a loop around Hiccup's wrists. "I love mom. But leaving her house was number five on the list of reasons why marrying you was a good idea."

"You made a list?"

"It was a choice between making a list or driving myself crazy by thinking about you. I chose the list."

"Smart." Hiccup said, "She was only number five?"

"Number one was the fact that I get you as my husband." Astrid pecked him gently on the lips. "Number two was the fact that I get you as my husband." Astrid pecked again. "Number three was the fact that I'll be able to have your body whenever I want it." The next kiss was more of a kneading, grinding, begging thing that got tongues involved. "And Number Four is that I'm marrying into a family that won't blink an eye if I follow you into battle."

"I thought... that being the wife of the future chief would be on there."

"I don't place bets on raw potential. I'd rather be your wife." Astrid told him, "And, thankfully, any power you'll get will come in the future."

"Thankfully?"

"I think the more you learn to deal with people, the less distracted you ll become," Astrid told him.

Hiccup eyed her, confused.

And Astrid looked down at his hands.

Which were now tightly bound with rope from his wrists to his elbows.

Hiccup's head jerked up, but before he could say anything, Astrid's hands clamped over his mouth.

"Don't scream."

Hiccup nodded.

Astrid got up, tugging him towards the direction of the stairs and the gateway that led to the woods. "Move!"

Helpless, Hiccup looked back at Toothless. His friend was watching them with the same amused expression he wore while watching Brunhilda attack them.

"You want to do anything here bud?" he asked.

Toothless just gave him a lazy, knowing eye, and rolled over in a particularly warm sunbeam.

"Great. Thanks." Hiccup said dryly as he was pulled into the forest.

NEXT WEEK: Astrid discusses her feelings and practices her nautical knots.