Half Lives: Cease Fire
Pt 4
By The Binary Alchemist 2011
Little heads were beginning to nod and the last chestnut had scalded Al's fingers as he peeled it for Izumi when their teacher clapped her hands smartly together. "All right Little Ones—and you Big Ones, too. We need to get to bed so the Holly King can come and bring us our presents. Roy? You and Ed are sleeping downstairs, so it's your job to stay up and listen for Cymry's harness bells. Maes, did you leave any gingerbread out for the Holly King or did you gobble it all up by yourself when nobody was looking?" The little boy looked guilty as hell but Al piped up that he'd rescued some cookies hot out of the oven and stashed them in the bread box. The gaily decorated plate with a leafy array was carried with much ceremony to the hearth. "Now, Nina? Do you have the magic green chalk so the Holly King can draw his array?"
"Nuh huh! Chalk!" Sliding off Winry's lap she toddled to the hearth and very carefully laid a large stick of green chalk beside the plate of fragrant gingerbread.
"Okay, who's got the corn for Cymry? Ed? Did you get it?"
Ed slapped his forehead. "I knew I forgot something! Son of a bitch!"
Maes made a whittling 'shame-on-you' gesture with his fingers, "You mean biscuit, right, Daddy?" He giggled madly. "Nana's gonna get the soooooap! Gets a wash out wif soooooap!"
"She didn't soap your, mouth when you said—" Ed growled as everybody started chanting 'Get the soap! Get the soap!"
"I know a big boy and a bigger boy who are going to see a lot of coal and ashes if they don't watch their language," Izumi threatened. "The Holly King sees even big boys like your daddy through his Array of Crystal Ice—and Solstice isn't over yet. Behave, both of you!"
"Yes Ma'am!" father and son chorused mournfully.
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"Don't even think of kissing me with eggnog on your breath. It's revolting."
Roy joined his lover by the fireside. "Something better. It's called glühwein. I'm surprised you've never tasted it before."
Ed sniffed at the glass and took a cautious sip. 'What's in it?"
"Red wine, cinnamon sticks, vanilla bean, cloves, orange peel and a bit of sugar. Rather tasty, I think. First alcohol I ever drank was at a party at the whorehouse one Solstice. Nobody told me it was a grownup drink and so I went around knocking back all the half empty cups until I was three sheets to the wind. Some railroad baron thought he was being a jolly fellow and hoisted me up on his knee and jostling me—and I promptly threw up all over his best suit."
"Ho'shit!" Ed was doubled up on the corner of the couch, visualizing little Roy in the whorehouse parlor, puking his guts out over one of Aunt Chris' richest clients. "What happened?"
"Demanded we pay the cleaning bill—AND rush out and get him a new suit so he could get back home to his wife—who thought he was singing carols at the orphanage for a charity show, not getting his caned and reamed up the backside by a rather large and imposing blonde from up north who was fond of bondage and domination and toted a strap on as big as Armstrong's left arm."
"Did she buy him a suit?" Ed asked.
"Hell no. Aunt Chris told him he was a silly bugger, that he should have left me alone when I told him I had a tummy ache, and that the most she would do is hand his suit to the laundress and lend him something to run home in. He was pretty pissed off, but when Ludmilla told him she had a brand new leather dildo he agreed pretty fast. So while they were going at it, Aunt Chris took the guy's suit out of Ludmilla's changing room-and replaced it with a Holly King costume. And when he headed home in that ridiculous green robe and sandals she arranged for a few neighborhood toughs to meet him on the street corners yelling 'Oi! Where's my fuckin' presents?" and pelt him with snowballs."
Ed could hardly breathe he was laughing so hard, muffling himself with a sofa cushion so as to not disturb the children trying to sleep upstairs. "Ohhhh….you're killing me…damn….."
"And of course," Roy added slyly, "his missus demanded to know what the hell he was doing staggering around the street in wet robes and when she insisted on helping him get out of them-"
"Lemme guess—"
Roy's eyes twinkled mischeviously. "—believe me, the red marks on his ass Ludmilla put there for fun were probably nothing compared to the heel marks his wife left on his butt when she booted him out in the snow."
Ed wiped the tears from his eyes and impulsively tugged his lover into his arms. "Is that where you learned some of the stuff you do to me in bed?"
Roy feigned insult and stalked to the fireside. "You have a foul mouth and a depraved sense of humor, Edward Elric. To think that I—an innocent orphan—would possibly be even remotely curious about what went on in a house of ill repute. For shame!"
"You're morally bankrupt, perverted, kinky in bed and—"
"—you're madly in love with me and you wouldn't change a thing, would you?"
"HA!"
"Admit it-I demand that you admit it. Out loud. Tonight."
Ed slipped up behind his lover and slid his arms around Roy's chest. "Why the hell should I do that? It's nothing you don't know all ready…I even wrote it in a note for you. You've got it in writing. I don't need to say it."
Roy leaned back against Ed's chest. "Maybe," his voice became very soft, "I need to hear it. Maybe that's what I want for Solstice. Once a year…I want to hear you said it." He idly caressed the strong hands folded over his chest. "I've never asked before. And we both know why."
Ed rested his chin on Roy's shoulder. Ed had heard that demand over and over once upon a time, in the relationship he had put behind him. For this very reason Roy had not once asked for verbal affirmation of their relationship. But on this night he keenly felt both the joy of being part of a family as well as the old ache of being an orphan surrounded by drunken strangers on Solstice Eve when Aunt Chris had to work so hard she had precious little time to give him the attention he needed although she more than made up for it on Solstice Day.
And, strangely, Ed understood. He began gently stroking Roy's chest, pressing kisses against his back and shoulders and Roy's head tipped back, eyes blissfully closed, savoring the closeness—the scent of evergreen and spices and the crackle of the embers and the strong, steady heartbeat he could feel as Ed pressed closer to him.
They stood locked together for a long time. Then he felt a warm mouth brush against his ear. "Roy…look at me…."
He turned to face his lover.
He was not the only one looking at Edward Elric.
She had forgotten a present for Nina—just a trifle, really. A picture book in Amestrian retelling Xingese fables about dragon princesses and enchanted pearls and fire sprites—wonderful, fanciful stuff she'd never imagined until Al found this book for the children. Nina loved to listen to stories, even if she was still learning to speak clearly. The pictures were bright and the stories were in rhyme. Nina would love it.
Pulling on a robe over her nightdress, Winry had crept down to the landing. She was frozen there now, unable to move.
Unable to breathe.
She saw Edward clinging to his lover's back, fitting himself to Roy, and the way Roy surrendered to that embrace, reveling in that touch. Then she saw Edward whisper something only Roy could hear and the older man turned around, not seeing her oblivious to her presence.
Edward stepped back from the man he had chosen, reached back and tugged out the elastic that bound up his pony tail, tossing it aside and shaking his hair loose. She had seen him do that a thousand times since his hair was long enough to get in his way, not long after he began learning to maneuver his new automail limbs, long before it made her shiver inside with desire, back to the days when she was still his sister…still his friend. Only he'd never done it like this before—a wanton invitation, an act of raw seduction. He shook his hair loose and stared at Roy, his face open and unguarded, a soft smile playing in the corner of his mouth.
He reached out and laid his hand over Roy's heart.
His whisper was hoarse with emotion."I love you….so goddamn much…."
The present dropped from Winry's sweaty hand and bounced down the steps.
They turned their eyes to her. They did not step apart.
If this had been a woman….a woman would have flashed Winry a cruel smile of triumph. A woman would have gloried in the look on her pale face.
Any other man would have answered her questing eyes with shame…or perhaps with pity.
Roy held her gaze. He did not blink or evade. His eyes were so calm, so clear and steady. It was if nothing was strange at all. Just like if I had walked in on any other couple in love. There was curiosity—concern, perhaps…but not a flicker of defensiveness or embarrassment.
And Ed….it was clear he had been interrupted but again, no shame or defensiveness. His hand never left his lover's chest.
"I…I…f-forgo-got…this…" Her voice sounded so strange, so oddly calm. She gestured helplessly at the brightly wrapped parcel at the bottom of the steps."
The two of them just gazed calmly at her for a moment. Then Roy moved to pick up the package. "I'll—"
"N—no…I'll….I'll put it…uh…under the tree." Her mouth was so dry and her stomach rolled in tight knots. "It's a book…for Nina." She fumbled as she laid it on the pile of gifts. "She—it's got pictures."
Roy's smile was very gentle. "She'll love it. We always read to her when she stays with us. She's got that passion for books like Al and Ed. She'll be reading to us before you know it."
She risked a glance up at him. There was only kindness in his eyes. "You think so?"
He nodded. "Maes is precocious—but I think Nina is going to surprise us all. She's not going to be some china doll—pretty on the outside with an empty head."
"Sh-she's not?"
Ed snorted with laughter. "With us as her parents? Never happen. Just wait and see."
She smiled nervously at both of them. "Uh huh." Her eyes darted to the candle-lit bedroom behind them, the twin cots transmuted into a large single bed. The bed waiting for Edward and Roy. Upstairs, her bed would be shared with only her children.
Moments stretched into the silence as they stared at one another. Finally Ed spoke:
"Goodnight, Winry. Happy Solstice."
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She had stopped on the landing. They didn't notice her any more. Ed had taken Roy's hand and guided him into the bedroom. She'd heard the door click shut. Then she heard the lock.
She sat numbly on the stairs. She didn't want to . It wasn't that she wanted to be with Edward…she just….
From downstairs, she heard a low, guttural cry. There was a soft curse—a tender obscenity.
Then the faint rhythmic creaking of bedsprings.
"I told them to hold it down." Alphonse laid his hand on her shoulder. He was barefoot, shirt open to the waist, hair tousled. It looked as if he hadn't been able to sleep either. He sank down on the step beside her. "I'm…sorry you had to hear that."
She shook her head. She became acutely aware of his warmth and the clean scent of his hair.
She realized that she…needed….tonight. Not Ed—no, what she'd seen downstairs—that half-whispered admission of his love for the man he had chosen…if there had been any foolish, lingering fantasies of reconciliation they had been gunned down once and for all at the sight of that tender embrace that still defied her clear understanding.
But she needed something—someone. Something more fulfilling than the hugs of her children and the good wishes of affectionate friends.
And Alphonse was there.
And it was Solstice night, when wishes are grated and gifts are to be given and shared. And she took his hand and she did not hesitate.
"Stay with me."
He didn't try to deceive her. There was no point. "Your children are waiting."
"Oh." She bowed her head.
"You don't know who Winry is…yet. "His words were soft and low. "And I'm still finding out who Alphonse is, after all those years in the Gateway. Until you know who you are, you don't know what you really have to share with someone."
She reached for his hand. "But we—"
"Remember how it started with my brother. If…if we…" He was silent for a long time. "Maybe I'm not the right one, Winry. Maybe I am. Only time will tell….and you need that time. And so do I."
He kissed her hand. He rose and turned to go back up the stairs. Below, she heard Roy gasp out the name of the man she once would have given the world to possess—and once she got him, realized she really didn't know him after all.
'Alphonse!"
He turned.
"If things were different….if the kids weren't….would you have stayed with me?"
He was so quiet that she could hear nothing but two lovers wrestling and panting in the darkness below them.
"Good night, Winry."
THE END