One Frosty Christmas
A/N - this is my first HDM fic.. and I read the trilogy a few years ago, so I can't remember whether both Will and Lyra could read and write or whether Christmas even existed in the books.. I thought there would have been but very different.. but I couldn't think of anything to call it so I just kept the name the same. Hope you like! R&R and constructive criticism is welcome!
Disclaimer - I dont own the characters or any of the HDM trilogy
Lyra POV
It was Christmas Eve and Lyra Silvertongue had nobody to spend it with. She didn't believe in it anyway, not with what she'd experienced. Not with what she knew about the Authority and the rest of the world didn't. Although the idea of Christmas, the whole gift giving and such, was a nice idea, there was not anything that Lyra could have been given (or rather, bought) that she would find joy in.
She barely found joy in anything any more. She had tried, oh how she had. She even found herself more submerged in her studies than strictly necessary, she made an effort to make friends when she came back to the college and tried to be the young lady she was expected to be. She was a changed girl.
On this particular evening, however, she was far too lost in her thoughts to be decent company to anyone, so she sneaked out of her room way after lights out, off the college grounds and walked.
She wasn't too sure where she was going, but she thought that the night air might clear her head. Her dæmon, Pantalaimon, followed her, snuffling the ground as he went. He did not generally approve of Lyra's random outings, but being linked as they were, he felt the same way she did and for once was not complaining.
It was cold, being December and so late at night. So much so that everything was covered in a fine layer of frost. It was pretty. Lyra, however, barely felt the chill in the air; She had been in much colder, harsher conditions. She stopped dead in her tracks for a moment, trying to recover from the lapse in thought. She had not allowed herself to think of back then and she rarely slipped up so this came as quite a shock – a painful one, at that. She scolded herself and continued walking.
The reason that Lyra had changed was to avoid this kind of suffering. It hurt her to leave that life; the one where she travelled through different worlds, where mulefa, spectres and people with hidden dæmons existed; where Dust was the reason she lived, the reason she was almost separated from her beloved Pan for good and the reason she had to leave her one true love; the life in which she had met her one true love. If she changed, she would not have to be reminded of all that had happened to her. She was only 12 back then after all, it was bound to be forgotten in time… If she stopped tripping up like this.
Despite her utter lack of direction, Lyra found herself at the gates of the Botanic gardens. She sighed inwardly.
"Go on, it couldn't hurt, could it? He might be there too. You never know," Pan whispered comfortingly. He climbed into his human's arms and nuzzled her; "There's nothing wrong with slipping up once in a while, really."
"But Pan.. it hurts. I can't live in the past or I'll be a complete wreck. I'm remembering far too often so I have to try stop it." She petted the marten absently, still staring at the gates.
"You can't stop remembering, just as we can't stop loving Kirjava and Will. It won't go away, but you can learn to live with it. It wont hurt so much in time." He looked toward the gardens. "Just go in and say hi, then we can go back so the scholars don't get worried."
Lyra nodded and walked through the gates. It seemed strange to her that when Will and her departed, they chose the bench in the Botanic Gardens as a sort of romantic meeting place where they would always be together because it was a place that both their worlds shared. But she now found herself thinking of it as more of a grave; A grave of her old life and the old her, that she dreaded visiting.
She arrived at the bench and looked at it. She'd been here only four times and already she was dreading going back next year. But still, she remained there. She did not sit on the bench, as it was frosted and she didn't wish to get her clothes damp, so she knelt by it. Thinking of how it had now become a gravestone, she decided to remind herself of what it really was. She wrote on the back, in the frost "Will & Lyra – Forever & Always". She wished she could make it more permanent but she did not want to be caught defacing public property.
Lyra sighed, her breath coming out in a cloud and grazing the words, making them less defined. She went over them again, not wanting them to melt away. For if they did, their love might just do the same thing. But both were seemingly inevitable.
Pantalaimon sat on Lyra's shoulder as she drew small hearts on the seat of the bench, wondering if there was anything that could make everything better…
Will POV
It was Christmas Eve and Will Parry was out walking. Since he got home from his journey, nothing had been the same. He'd changed. He was no longer afraid of what his world put in front of him, he didn't hide in the shadows any more and he was never alone. Sure, he may have had no humans to be with but he had his dæmon, Kirjava.
Kirjava was a large shadow cat and part of Will that he didn't even know existed for the first 13 years of his life. Because of this, they spoke a lot more often than Lyra and Pan did as a way of making up for lost time. They chatted about the past, the present and sometimes even the future and Will loved it. Not having anyone to talk to as a child made him even more appreciative of his gift, but because of the fact nobody around him could see their dæmons, he had to restrict their talking to when it was just them.
The streets were very quiet so Will took that opportunity to talk. "So.. where to tonight, Kir?" Will asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Must you ask me this every time?" She replied, rolling her eyes. "But it's Christmas, so why not somewhere special?"
"Christmas is just something the shops use to get money out of us. So why bother?" He contemplated the idea, though, "where would we go anyway?"
Kirjava turned her yellow eyes toward a familiar road a little way away from where they were and said, "We could pay the Botanic Gardens a visit. I don't think we've ever been there this time of year before."
"Hmm, sounds like a plan." And they went. It was quite a walk to the Botanic Gardens from where Will was staying, so it was almost midnight when they finally reached the bench. "Hey Lyra." Will said when they arrived.
Unlike Lyra, Will did not find pain at all in talking or thinking about his adventures. He was very open, in fact. He knew that he was the only boy on the planet and in the many worlds that had gone through the same things he had, so why hide it? His experiences had given him this new courage. And his girlfriend, as he could call her, was one of the things he spoke about most, and very proudly.
He went to sit on the bench to talk to Lyra as he normally did, when he noticed something odd. There was a little inscription in the frost on it. It said "Will & Lyra – Forever & Always". He turned to Kirjava, who was examining her tail.
"Kir?" She looked up at him, "How many girls with the name "Lyra" do you think are out there?"
"Oh wow.. hmm.. probably not very many at all. Not nowadays."
Will nodded and caught sight of more inscriptions. There were little hearts on the seat of the bench and they were still being drawn. How odd, he thought. Then an idea, or more of a wish, came to him; if the bench is shared in the worlds, perhaps the frost is too – and that is Lyra drawing! So, he drew by their names "Not forgetting Pan and Kirjava either" and waited.
Lyra POV
Pantalaimon looked up sensing movement at the bench. He saw more writing – writing that was not Lyra's.
"Lyra! Lyra, look!" he nudged her face with his nose to get her attention, but to no avail. He hopped from her shoulder and placed a paw by his name. Shortly afterward, Kirjava's paw print appeared. He attempted to call his human once more but she was too lost in her thoughts to notice.
A few moments later, Lyra gasped and lifted her hand from the frost. The hearts had started to draw themselves.
"I tried to tell you earlier.." whispered Pan, motioning toward Will's writing with his head "I.. I think they're here."
Will POV
He was so close to giving up, it was too cold to be standing around like this.. But he continued drawing nonetheless, trying to imagine his Lyra doing the same, wondering whether she was still his Lyra. When all of a sudden, the frost parted and a word formed: "Will?"
Lyra POV
"Lyra?" He replied. She clapped with joy and a smile spread across her face. She could almost hear him saying her name again and it made her homesick for the land of the mulefa – where her and Will were blissfully unaware of what lay before them.
"You were right, Pan."
"When am I not?" he rolled his eyes, but we was too happy himself to be truly frustrated with her. "Write back!"
"Yes, it's Lyra! Oh Will is it really you?"
"Yes, it's really me, who else could it be?" Lyra laughed aloud and was so overjoyed that she didn't even know what to reply. But at that moment, her saving grace rang out in the form of bells chiming midnight – presumably in both worlds so she simply wrote: "Merry Christmas", drawing a small smile next to it.
Nobody's POV
This made Will smile, but in the same instance, frown. "Speaking of which, why are you here?"
"Where else do I have to go?"
"But you promised.."
She cut him off by writing in is way, "So did you"
"So I did.. hey, d'you know something, Lyra?
"Go on"
"I love you. I always have loved you and always will – that's a promise"
It came as quite a shock to both of them that neither had said it yet, considering what they had been through together, but still, the delay far from made it less heart-felt. It made Lyra's heart swell almost painfully, but with pain that was so much love – four years' worth, in fact.
"Oh Will, I love you too, forever and always. Words cant let me show you how much I mean that.."
"Don't worry, I believe you – but you still remember that if-"
"-someone we liked was to come along, yes, yes, I remember. But that doesn't change anything, they'll be nothing compared to you, guaranteed."
Will blushed slightly and Kirjava snickered. "Oi.. stop that, you're in love too and I bet you'd blush if it was possible for a cat." She shut up after that.
"Perhaps not, but at least he'll be in your world"
"Hey.. do you think that Gracious Wings would let us stay with her for a while? To make up for lost time?"
"Maybe, but we've got a long time till either of us have to worry about seeing her again."
"True.. Oh Will, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you.. Tell me everything. Every little detail of the past four years"
And he did. He did not have too much to tell her, but he gave every little detail of the little he did before asking her to do the same.
The air grew colder and it soon began to lightly snow, but they continued writing. What settled even provided more writing space as it covered their previous words, allowing them to write there again. Till the later hours of the morning, they wrote, even after they ran out of bench to write over, they found other frost or snow-covered surfaces that the worlds shared. They wrote of the past four years and how their lives had changed and how their feelings had remained exactly the same. Even their dæmons had their say. It was the most blissful evening both Will and Lyra had in a long time.
However, the lovers got tired and the sun soon rose, melting their words away and forcing a close on perhaps their only communication to be had till they meet with Gracious Wings for the last time.
They both walked back to their bench and Lyra sighed, stroking Pan, hoping for one last message. Although, Will did not know of her actions, he knew he had to say a proper goodbye for now. He clearly did not have the qualms Lyra did about graffiti and carved with a small shard of the Subtle Knife he kept with him at all times: "Lyra, my love – till Midsummer's Day and another Frosty Christmas"
A single tear rolled down Lyra's cheek and she brushed the words with tentative fingers. She wanted desperately to reply, but had no means of doing so. So she kissed her fingertips and pressed them into the carving, whispering goodbye to Will and Kirjava before making her way back to St Sophia's College, where she would remain until the come of Midsummer's Day, knowing that Will still loved her.
Will POV
In another Oxford, Will smiled at the absence of reply, as he knew that the girl on the other side of the bench knew how much he loved her. He chuckled lightly to himself and breathed "till soon, Lyra". Still cherishing the time he had with her, he walked into the rising sun with Kirjava at his heel.
Me again! It's totally illogical, I know, but I thought it was a nice idea =] Hope you did too. Got an idea for another fic in my head, please let me know in your comment if you'd be interested! ~^^ ~JAS