Update: If you are being told that I have updated, know that I have not. There were a few things I had to take from this story. If you have already read it, there is nothing new to report. However, if this is your first time through...

Author's Note: If you've read Clockwork Angel you'll have a basic idea of everything going on, however, since this story begins in the middle of Clockwork Angel, right after Will and Tessa's kiss in the attic, you will see that I have taken certain creative liberties in changing the basic outline from that point on. I was inspired to write this story when I finished Clockwork Angel and had questions and, being a writer, I thought about how I would answer them. With many stories based in fantasy, I don't care much for the character that suddenly finds themselves in this strange new world, but rather, I care for the people who have grown up in that world. You will see that I chose to focus more on Will and Jem and their interactions and less on Tessa. I own none of these characters! They are all the result of Cassandra Clare's amazing work, however, it is an absolute pleasure to write in the world she has created.

Chapter 1

Sometime later Will finally descended from the attic and paused for a moment outside of Jem's bedroom. Without another thought he pushed open the door and walked inside. He expected darkness and to hear only Jem's breathing, either strained or easy, but was instead shocked to see candle light and hear water being poured.

"Jem?" Will asked.

"In here." Jem said, "Just washing up. I'm decent, for your eyes, anyway." Will laughed softly and walked over to a candle lit bathroom. Jem was standing in front of a mirror which was covered with water spots and a few long cracks that broke up the reflected walls. He was dressed in loose flannel pants and was otherwise shirtless, and he was examining the still red scar that followed his collar bone.

"Are you in pain?" Will asked. He hurried over and placed his hands onto Jem's shoulders.

"I'm fine," Jem replied, his shoulders relaxing in Will's fingers. "I'm just tired."

"That should have been healed by now," Will said. He guided Jem to a seat and then picked up a small candle to better see the cut. He looked at the rune he had drawn beneath it, which was nearly faded to white. "It's not healing properly."

"I'm still human, Jem replied. "I'll be fine soon. How are you? Have you thoroughly enjoyed your holy water purging?"

"I'm nearly fit for church," Will said, his fingers still lingering on Jem's chest. "I think we need to summon Brother Enoch. I'm concerned with-" Jem stood up and went back to the mirror, leaning close and studying his eyes in the reflection. Jem's infinite patience with Will was nearly taxed, and was his energy.

"Any aches? Any odd urges?" Jem demanded.

"Just one," Will said, and Jem rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure Tessie took care of that," He said.

"Do I detect a note of detest? I thought you liked Tessie," Will said.

"I like her a lot. I like her enough to want you to keep your claws from her virtue," Jem said nonchalantly.

"So poetic," Will said, "but really…"

"Sophie told me that Miss Grey brought you your cure upstairs. In fact, I heard you screaming and thrashing about until she arrived. Her presence must have calmed you," Jem said. "Tessa isn't like the Lightwood girl. She's not someone you employ to receive your frivolous love until you no longer feel like giving it to her."

"I kissed her," Will said, "And it felt wrong."

"That's because she's not like the Lightwood girl. Or the Penhallow girl. Or any other girl…" Jem turned and looked straight into Will's eyes, "who has received your company in the last six months."

"My past is none of your business," Will said.

"Your past is mine as well," Jem said, "and you're avoiding my asking you if you are weak in one way or another. Now, have you got all of De Quincey's blood out?"

"I seem to be craving a lovely side of rare meat dripping blood onto a pile of mashed potatoes," Will said, "Is that close enough?"

"Not sure," Jem said, and he placed a hand onto Will's forehead. After a moment he slid his fingers down to Will's cheek, and then ran a finger across his lower lip. He stood and moved closer to Will, and Will parted his lips more, taking a slow and deep breath. Jem smelled like lavender soap and Will breathed it in carefully. "You're feverish." Jem pulled away. "Back upstairs."

"But I just want to go to sleep!" Will cried. He followed Jem from the bathroom, but while Jem went to his bureau to collect a shirt, Will fell onto Jem's bed and dropped his face onto the silk brocade quilt which covered the bed. It, to, smelled like Jem's lavender soap, mixed with a sharp accent of sweat and tears. Will rolled over and looked back to see Jem pulling a dark shirt on in the candle light he had brought into the bedroom.

"Come on, I want to go to sleep as well," Jem said. He buttoned his shirt with shaking fingers. Will sat up, taking notice.

"You shouldn't be staying awake so late," Will said.

"And you shouldn't be treating me like a china doll." Jem replied.

"Come to bed," Will said, carefully, "I'll sit with you until you fall asleep."

"You're more concerned with me than with yourself," Jem said.

"And when has that not been the case?" Will asked. "Come here." Jem walked over. He was glancing down at his hand. His finger nails were still caked blood with his own blood. Will took his hand but didn't see the blood, instead, he pulled Jem onto the bed and onto himself. Jem went willingly, laughing a little, so Will pushed him over and rolled on top of him, pinning him down into the soft mattress. The breath left Jem's lungs audibly but he smiled a little. Will got close, so close that Jem could still see blood still staining Will's teeth.

"Will," Jem whispered, "there are rules about things like this."

"You've never cared for the rules before," Will said, "and just because they exist, it doesn't mean we have to follow them. In fact, if I recall, you and I have been breaking the rules for the last three years." Before Jem could protest, Will leaned down and kissed him on the lips. Jem closed his lips against Will's and shook his head. "What?"

"Let's go upstairs," Jem said. "If I have to drink holy water as well, then everyone will know what we've been up to."

The next morning, the sun had been in the sky for several hours before it's rays finally crossed Jem's bed and landed on his face. He opened his eyes and stretched, then rolled over and smiled. Will was there, dressed in a night shirt belonging to Jem. It didn't fit properly so the collar of it hung open, revealing most of Will's chest and stomach. Will was on his back, his right hand close to Jem, all five fingers splayed out as if he had been reaching for him all night.

Carefully Jem tossed back the covers and he crept soundlessly from the bed. He went into the bathroom, where he washed his face, combed his hair, then returned to the bedroom and went over to the bureau to get dressed. When the bureau door creaked opened, Jem glanced back to the bed before he pulled out a new pair of trousers and a shirt. Will's clothing from the night before, stained with holy water diluted blood and dirt, was tossed over a chair, so Jem tossed his night shirt over it as well.

"I even get to see you naked," Will mumbled. Jem spun around, his cheeks flushing with heat.

"You've seen me naked enough. My body shouldn't surprise you," Jem said.

"It does more than surprise me," Will said, propping up on his elbows. The sheet covering him slid down to the tops of his hips.

"Then that is an issue which you can attend to," Jem said. "Go back to sleep." Will rolled his eyes and then rolled over, dropping his face onto Jem's pillow. Jem turned back and dressed, when he looked back to the bed, a long and luxurious snore was escaping from Will. Jem smiled and then left the bedroom.

Downstairs he found Jessamine in the dining room talking with Thomas. Her hand was on his arm and she was smiling and laughing. Jessamine found mundanes to be most fascinating conversational partners, as their lives involved things like love and society, and not things like killing supernatural creatures. Her eyes turned to Jem as he brushed past her seat.

"Spent the night with Will, you did?" She asked.

"I don't think it's any of your business," Jem replied, "but if you must know, yes, I did spend the night with Will. He was ill and I was merely attending to him in the manner in which he desired." Jessamine laughed lightly, a hand covering her mouth. Jem stopped and let his hands clenched into fists.

"There are any amount of manners in which Will could desire your attendance," she said, "none of which require you spending the night with him. That is what servants are for." Jem bristled and then relaxed.

"When you find it within your cold and cruel heart to care for someone besides yourself, come find me," Jem said. "Until then, refrain from commenting on matters for which you have no knowledge." With that he continued he walk through the dining room and to the doors of the kitchen, which he pushed open without warning. There was a squeak behind them, and the ruffle of one petticoat. A flash of dark blue crossed in front of him and reached a far counter. "Sophie, I hope I didn't hit you."

"Not at all, Mr. Carstairs," Sophie said quickly. "I was just going to see if Miss Jessamine needed more tea."

"Miss Jessamine is suitably amused with Thomas, however, if you have hot water, I am in need of a pot of tea. Mr. Herondale has asked that he have breakfast in bed," Jem said. He went to the icebox and opened it, pondering his options, before closing it again.

"In your bed, Mr. Carstairs," Sophie said. She blushed again.

"As you recall, I have a very large bed, Sophie," Jem said. "Mr. Herondale was feeling less then well last night. I have to care about him despite his desire for no one to care. I don't understand why I have to atone for the simple act of giving warmth to a cold soul."

"But in sharing your bed-" Sophie began.

"Are you bringing up the tired law that a man shall not lie with another one? My dear Sophie, it is 1878. We are an educated people now. The bible was written many thousands of years ago. Do you really believe that all of the laws that applied to the ancient people should still apply to us?" Sophie gaped at him. "If a man should not lie with another, when does that rule no longer apply? If I am to die in battle with Will, should my dying while lying beside him be considered immoral and wrong?"

"I had not considered that," Sophie said.

"I understand," Jem said. "I care deeply for Will. I hope that you can understand that." Sophie nodded. "Hot water and tea, please." He walked over to a stove, where a pan of peach scones sat cooling. Sophie retrieved a silver tea kettle and filled it with steaming water. "Has Tessa made an appearance?"

"Not yet," Sophie replied. She placed the tea kettle onto a tray and then put two cups and saucers on it as well. Jem considered the scones then grabbed one. He made quiet scream and dropped the scone back onto the pan. Sweet icing dripped from his fingertips and raised the skin beneath them into angry red blisters. Sophie didn't hesitate, she grabbed Jem's arm and pulled him toward the icebox, stopping only to open the door before she and Jem both staggered into the room's chilly interior. Sophie pressed Jem's hand to a dripping block of ice and Jem screamed again, this time loudly. He closed his eyes from the pain.

"Had you been thinking about more than making Will happy you would have possibly ventured to use a spatula," Sophie said. "Let me see it?" Jem withdrew his hand from the ice and offered it to Sophie. "It's bad. You'll be needing a healing rune. I can summon Charlotte,"

"No, don't bother her. Will is more than capable of doing it for me," Jem said.

"Will is always more than capable of doing it for you," Sophie said. "I'll prepare your breakfast tray." She headed for the door.

"Sophie," Jem said, "I'm sorry for Will and I."

"There's no need to be sorry," Sophie said, and she headed for the door.

Two years before, on a cold December day, Sophie had sat in the frigid chapel with Charlotte, Henry, Jessamine, and a magnitude of Shadowhunters, and watched as Will, Jem, and six other boys all went through the ceremony that would bind them to one another as parabatai. Will and Jem had stood shoulder to shoulder and pledged, in unison, to be loyal to one another, to be loyal to the Enclave, and to uphold the Law and the will of the Angel. At the end of the ceremony, each of the boys were to be bound to one another, and Sophie saw Will hold Jem's hand carefully and then touched his stele to the inside of Jem's wrist, slowly etching the first permanent rune every Shadowhunter got, the binding rune, onto his parabatai. Jem had thrown his head back, he had screamed and cried in both joy and agony, and then when it was Will's turn, he had done the same thing, and later described the process as feeling that fire had swept through his veins. Sophie was surprised that something so powerful could also be so painful.

Following the service, something changed with Will and Jem. They were suddenly men, and suddenly had more time for each other and less time to be friendly with Sophie. She saw how Will looked at Jem, like he would never need anyone else in his life if he only had Jem. It was then that Sophie started to hate Will.

With his hand suitably numb, Jem left the icebox and returned to the kitchen, where Sophie had made up a tray of tea and scones. She had even placed a small vase of blue flowers onto it, however, one flower was wilting in the heat. Sophie collected the tray and left the kitchen, and Jem followed. Jessamine was still laughing with Thomas, but she again stopped when Jem walked by.

"Had you not been so intent on insulting me you might have allowed me to give you this," Jessamine said, and held out a white envelope. Jem took it in his uninjured hand.

"I was not insulting you. I was merely pointing out that until you have knowledge of love and camaraderie you should refrain from giving people advice," Jem said. "Now if you'll excuse me." He followed Sophie from the dining room, and once they were out in the hallway, Jem carefully broke the wax seal embossed with an orante letter "B" and began reading.

Will was not yet awake when Jem and Sophie entered the quarters, so Sophie set the tray on Jem's steamer trunk and left without another word. Feeling the deep burn return to his hand, Jem had no choice but to sit on the bed beside Will. He put the letter onto the bedside table and then lay a hand on Will's chest.

Will's eyes opened slowly, focused on the ceiling, and then turned to Jem's. "James. You have returned to me," he whispered.

"I have," Jem said, "and I would like to ask how you slept and how you are feeling, however…" he resisted just for a second, knowing that he should have just bothered Charlotte with it after all. "I am in need of your assistance with a pressing matter."

"And I am in need of yours," Will mumbled, and lay a hand on Jem's upper thigh. "Most desperately in need of your assistance with a pressing matter, indeed."

"Will," Jem whispered, "I'm hurt."

Will's eyes flew open and he looked at the hand which Jem had extended to him.

"Just give me a moment." Will quickly jumped out of bed and managed to recover Jem's stele. He returned to the bed, took Jem's hand, and quickly drew a healing rune on his wrist. As they watched, Jem's hand slowly went from blistered and raw to slightly red and mottled looking. "How is the pain?" Will asked.

"Manageable," Jem replied.

"I shouldn't be hurting at all," Will said, "Perhaps you should see Brother Enoch. Maybe he can…"

"I'm still human. It can take me time to heal," Jem said. "Let's have breakfast before you continue to fret about me." Will saw the tray and smiled.

"You shouldn't have," he said.

"But I did," Jem replied.

Will returned to bed and Jem followed with the tray, which he placed across Will's lap. He poured them each a cup of tea and then tested the temperature of the scones before having a bite of one.

"Have you seen Tessa at all?" Will asked.

"No," Jem replied. "Hardly anyone is awake, just Jessamine and Thomas, really."Will nodded and had a bite of his scone. "I received a letter from Magnus Bane. Seems he is having a dinner party on Friday night and has invited us."

"Since when do you trade correspondence with warlocks?" Will asked.

"Since when do you?" Jem coolly retorted.

"My business with Mr. Bane is simply that, business," Will said.

"And a fine lot of business you do with him," Jem said. It had taken some time, but Jem was finally able to recognize the heady perfume which occasionally permeated Will's clothes. The scent was of the warlock's own favorite vanilla and sandalwood incense, which Magnus imported all the way from Jem's native Shanghai. "I'm shocked to have heard from him after last night's disaster."

"You're not the only one," Will mumbled. "However, this party has been in the works for some time now and Magnus is a forgiving soul. I shall respond this afternoon and we will find out if he still wants us there." Jem nodded.

"Between Magnus and Tessa, it appears that you have an undying love of warlocks," he offered.

"I can appreciate your choice of words," Will said, "but truly, James, my heart belongs to you. Besides, Tessa is not a warlock."

"Then what is she?" Jem asked.

"She's a-"

"A what? A sad and confused girl, much like your usual conquests. You don't know her. She could be your sister for all you know. You should find out before you rush head long into-"

Will bristled. "My mother would have never mated with a demon."

"And yet, you're here. Span of Lucifer himself," Jem said.

"You're such a cheeky lad when your hearts in it," Will said. "So we shall both attend the party if Magnus will have us."

"I would rather not. We just disrupted an entire nest of vampires, and now you want to eat, drink, and be merry at the home of Camille?" Jem asked.

"It would be wrong to not accept the invitation," Will said. "Magnus took the time to invite us. We should… James?"

In the time it had taken for Jem to set his tea cup back onto the tray, what color had been in his cheeks had been bleached away. Will pushed the tray away and placed a hand over Jem's mouth, just as a torrent of blood came from it, pouring between Will's fingers. Before Jem could recover he coughed and gasped again and more came out.

Jem's eyes went white and he screamed in unspeakable agony, clutching his chest and stomach, before he began to shake, hard. Will pulled him to the floor just as Jem screamed again and began clawing at his stomach, his chest, and his throat, trying to bring forth the demon's poison which no longer possessed him but that his body remembered and desperately wanted. Will wrenched Jem's arms to the floor and Jem strained against him.

"Let me die!" Jem screamed. He pulled his arms away from Will and sunk his finger tips into his throat, choking himself even as more blood came up. It blossomed from his nose and eye sockets as well and Jem screamed, blind, as Will pulled Jem's hands away from his throat again.

"No, I will not let you die," Will said, easily, even as his eyes desperately searched the room for Jem's medication.

"Please," Jem begged, "just let me die. If you love me you will LET ME DIE!" He again freed his arms and again clawed at his throat. Blood boiled from his mouth, it stained the floor and even Jem's silver hair a crimson red.

"Help me!" Will screamed. "Help me, please!"

"No one is coming to help you save me." Jem mumbled in a voice that wasn't his own. Will pulled away and ran to the door. He opened it and looked out into the deserted hallway. Jem was right.

"Somebody, please, HELP ME!" Will cried.