A/N: Well hello there lovely readers. This is the third installment in the series that starts with "Five Simple Words" and "Moments of Perfection". While it isn't imperative that you read those prior to reading this, it may help clarify some things about this story. Plus, I would greatly appreciate hearing your feedback on those as well. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think.

A/N 2: Much love and thanks go to AliceBB for helping me out with this story. All mistakes are ultimately mine. I also do not own any pretty little FBI agents… that I'm aware of anyway.

The dull yellow light of the floor indicator seemed to be moving slower than usual as the next number in the sequence lit up momentarily before the light continued its sluggish ascent. Emily Prentiss sighed, ran a hand through her hair and continued her current activity—glaring at the lethargic light as it pinged on the next floor: three down, forever to go… or at least that's how it seemed to the restless agent.

Trying to will the elevator to move faster so she could get yet another cup of coffee in her system, Emily cursed the speed, or lack thereof, in which both this elevator ride and the past month had inched by. There had been an influx of cases, some worse than others, all of them taking a toll on the team and their respective sleep patterns. However, part of Emily was positive that this month had been more torturous for her than the others.

It had nothing to do with the cases and everything to do with a certain blonde media liaison that was currently making Emily's life a living hell. Their feelings for one another were finally out in the open: truth. They had agreed to take it one step at a time: truth. It was easier for Emily knowing that JJ felt the same way she did: so far from the truth, it wasn't even in the same ballpark.

Almost a month ago to the day, JJ had shown up at her apartment and they had both admitted their love for each other. At that exact moment in time, Emily had felt like she was the luckiest girl in the world; the woman of her dreams felt the same way. Except that whatever vision of the future she had that night disappeared come morning, and her happily ever after had soured into a complacently right now with the rising sun.

It had always been easier for Emily to let go of her secrets at night. She assumed it had to do with the illusion of privacy and intimacy the darkness provided, that whatever she said into the black would be swallowed up and secured. Yet, it always seemed, whatever security and promises the night brought were eventually drug into the harsh light of day and exposed for the illusions they were. That's exactly what happened that morning: reality had set in and things seemed a little more difficult, a little less doable than simply she loved JJ and JJ loved her.

They had obstacles to overcome, before things simply flowed, and the one thing that was still stopping them from being together, from even starting to try and make it work, presented itself in the form of a dimwitted detective from New Orleans. Emily was positive that she and JJ could be amazing together, that is if JJ ever decided to tell Drunken Mumbles McGee, the Crawfish From Hell that it was over and finally kicked his scrawny ass out of her apartment. Being raised a Prentiss taught Emily to be patient, and she'd wait forever and a day if it meant she had a chance with Jennifer Jareau, but this last month had been extremely difficult.

It was one thing to love JJ from afar, to indulge in the occasional fantasy or daydream when time allowed it, while still keeping her distance and friendship intact. This scenario provided a line that Emily knew she couldn't cross because being JJ's friend had been better than scaring the younger woman off. Then JJ shocked Emily by reciprocating the feelings and subsequently blew that imaginary line out of the water; in fact she had obliterated it from the face of the earth, effectively taking Emily's control with it. And then, just when Emily was allowing herself to accept this new scenario, JJ had asked for time to tell Will, and Emily had granted that wish. He was Henry's father after all.

Knowing how JJ felt was a relief, yet at the same time she was going insane because JJ was still technically with Will, even if that relationship was now on borrowed time, and Emily refused to be with someone who was even remotely unavailable. This unfortunately meant that she was forced to spend all her time with the blonde without being able to touch her, hug her, kiss her, and hold her like she wanted to. However, she had promised that she'd wait, so waiting was what she was doing albeit poorly and rather impatiently.

The elevator finally stopped on her floor and Emily had to shoulder her way though the other riders in order to exit. Just as she was stepping off, her phone vibrated on her hip and she couldn't help the goofy grin that fixed itself on her face when she saw it was a text from JJ. Man, did she have it bad.

Where are you?

Emily rolled her eyes as she responded that she was just stepping off the elevator. It's not like she was late or anything, in fact she was a good ten minutes early. Another vibration tickled Emily's hip as she dropped her gun, badge and go-bag off at her desk.

Good. Come to my office when you get a sec.

Allowing a small chuckle to escape her lips, Emily clipped her phone back onto her belt before quickly leafing through the files that had once again multiplied in the few hours she'd been away from the office. Luckily this time there were only six new consults that needed her attention rather than the typical eight to ten. Sending a quick and silent thank you to JJ for playing favorites even though she wasn't supposed to, Emily felt the grin on her face grow again as her phone vibrated once more.

I didn't mean you could take your time getting up here… I was trying to sound aloof.

This time Emily outright laughed and could feel Reid's eyes on her while she texted back: someone's impatient this morning…

The response was almost immediate this time: yes, I am. Now get your sexy ass up here Agent Prentiss!

Emily threw a smart salute at her phone, knowing full well that JJ was spying on her from her office.

"Who's she texting?"

Reid shrugged his shoulders as Morgan came to stand next to his chair, "I have no idea. She hasn't stopped smiling since she got here."

Morgan raised his eyebrows at that before turning his attention to his brunette friend, "Let's find out, shall we? Hey Prentiss!"

Emily looked up, made eye contact with Morgan and immediately knew she had been busted. She quickly deleted the texts as he approached, "What's up Morgan?"

Morgan shook his head, "Don't play coy with me. I know that look. So spill, who is he?"

Emily's face remained impassive, "Who's who?"

Reid's voce squeaked in the background, "Emily is seeing someone?"

The brunette turned her attention to the young genius, "I'm not seeing anyone. I have no idea what you two are talking about."

Morgan refused to let it go, "Oh yeah? Then you wouldn't mind if we took a peek at your phone then."

Shrugging her shoulders, Emily easily tossed her phone at her friend, "Knock yourself out."

Reid was immediately standing at Morgan's right shoulder as the muscular agent scrolled through the now empty message center. Morgan's eyes rose to meet Emily's in a mocking glare as Reid stated the obvious, "There's nothing here."

Emily smirked as she held out her hand, her eyebrows rising ever so slightly in a challenge. Derek handed to phone back to her, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by the sound of a door flying open and crashing against a wall.

The three agents turned to look up as JJ all but stormed out of her office, scanned the bullpen and settled on Emily.

"My office. Now."

The obvious annoyance in JJ's voice seemed to hang in the air like an umbrella, covering the atmosphere in the bullpen and filling the room with an awkward silence as the two men turned to look at Emily. Morgan's right eyebrow quirked in questioning as Reid voiced what they were all thinking, "Why is JJ mad at you?"

Prentiss merely shrugged as she turned and headed up the stairs towards the blonde's office. Morgan watched her go, thoughts of who her mystery man could be running through his mind. As he turned to head back to his desk, he grumbled after his friend's retreating form, "Damn she's good."

Emily cautiously entered the office, making sure to close the door behind her. Turning slowly back around, Emily wasn't really surprised to see JJ standing right behind her, an easy smile playing on her lips. Emily couldn't help the smile that formed on her own, "Thanks for the rescue."

JJ nodded slightly, the movement conveying her acceptance of Emily's thanks, "Looked like you were about to face the Inquisition."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Felt like it too."

This time JJ chuckled as she stepped closer to Emily, trying to ignore the tension that shot through Emily's body as she neared, "So I was wondering what you were doing later…"

Emily shook her head, once decisively, as JJ reached for her, "Don't."

JJ's hand stopped its path towards hers before their fingers touched. Letting it fall back into place, JJ couldn't help the sigh that escaped her as she said, "Why not Emily?"

Shutting her eyes and choking back the accusing response, Emily instead took a deep breath. She had promised to be patient after all, "You know why Jennifer. Can we not do this here… again?"

JJ immediately took two steps back from Emily, hurt flashing through her crystal blue eyes. When she did respond, the tone of her voice portrayed just how deeply she was hurting and it didn't help the situation at all. It only made Emily want to hold her even more, "Why won't you touch me anymore, Em? Why can't I hold your hand or give you a hug? I thought you felt the same way I do."

Emily's eyes rose to meet JJ's quickly, disbelief showing plainly on her face, "I do! You know that! God Jen, there's no one I'd rather be with, but we can't because it hurts too much when you go home to him every night. You have no idea how badly I want to touch you, hug you, kiss you, but I won't while he's still around."

Arms crossing over her chest in an attempt to ward off the guilt she was currently feeling, JJ took her eyes off of Emily's because the emotion she was seeing there was too strong, too intense, and it only made her want to kiss the brunette even more. "He won't be around too much longer."

This time Emily didn't try to stop the emotion from flooding her voice, "When Jennifer? When are you going to tell him? I know I said I'd wait, and I will… but I don't get it. We could be together right now, no obstacles, nothing to get in our way. I don't get why you're holding onto him so tightly. Please, help me understand."

A heavy silence filled the room while Emily waited for a response; the only noise was the ticking of the wall clock behind JJ's desk. Finally a sniffle reached Emily's ears and the brunette threw her hands up in the air, effectively throwing the no touching policy out with it. Taking two long strides forward, Emily grabbed JJ's shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace.

The blonde wrapped her arms tightly around Emily's waist and buried her head in the brunette's neck, "I'm sorry Emily. I'm so sorry."

Emily began rubbing soothing circles on JJ's back, "It's okay. I'll wait for you. I'll wait until you're ready."

JJ shook her head and pulled out of the hug, trying to push away the disappointment she felt when Emily's warmth went with it, "no. It's not fair to you. I can't keep stringing you both along! It's just…"

Wiping fiercely at the tears that were currently running down her cheeks, JJ sighed again. Emily took a step closer and reached up, wiping at the tear marks with her thumb, "it's just what? I can't understand until you explain it to me."

JJ looked up into Emily's eyes, "It's just that he's Henry's father and he moved all the way up here to be with us, he gave up his job as a detective, he loves me and he deserves to be let down gently, and because whatever relationship he and I have is norm…"

A look of fear shot through JJ's eyes as she clamped her mouth shut before the thought could finish itself. The motions were too late though, because Emily caught exactly what JJ was getting at. She nodded her head a couple times before stepping away from the blonde, her face struggling to remain stoic, to hide just how deeply those words had cut. "I see."

JJ's hand shot out quickly, grabbing a hold of Emily's wrist before the woman she loved got too far away, "Em, I didn't mean it like that."

Emily whipped around, "You didn't mean it like that! Then what did you mean, Jennifer?"

JJ's mouth opened and closed a few times, but no answer came. Emily sighed, turning to face the liaison, "I get it" she said. "This is going to take some getting used to. At least I think I understand it now."

She stepped closer and placed a quick kiss onto the top of JJ's head, "Take some time and think about it… this… us. And then let me know."

A sob almost escaped JJ's throat as Emily made it to the door, "Wait Em. What does this mean?"

Emily smiled sadly, "It means that you need some more time, and that I'm still stuck waiting. So I'm going to give you some space, just promise me you'll think about what makes you happy and not about what others want from you okay?"

JJ nodded, "I do love you."

Emily nodded, the love shining through her eyes, "I know."

With that Emily walked out of JJ's office, closing the door behind her. JJ was once again left alone in her office to think about what she wanted and what that might mean for everyone in her life: Henry, Will, her parents, the team. She sighed as she flopped into her desk chair, one single thought running through her mind: why does life have to be so hard?

Emily walked out of JJ's office and headed to the bathroom to give herself a few moments of privacy to get her emotions under control before heading back to her desk. The true reason behind JJ's need to have Will around had finally reared its ugly head, and Emily chastised herself for believing, for however brief a moment, that this could be easy- or even possibly work. She had forgotten that JJ had never been with a woman, that she had been raised in a small rural town of Pennsylvania where homophobia was sure to run rampant, and that she had such a strong connection with her family. That was extremely different from Emily's upbringing: around the world with very little interaction between the members of her family. Emily didn't really have anyone to answer to except herself. For JJ it was a different story; she had an entire town that would be affected if they went through with whatever was going on between them.

Sighing as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, Emily felt her stomach churn at the thought that JJ would ignore her own happiness based on what people thought. Except when she thought about it, fear was a powerful emotion, freezing even the most courageous individual from time to time. Just because they stared down the worst mankind had to offer on a daily basis, didn't necessarily mean that it would be easy for JJ make such a drastic change when it came to her personal life, and it had been naïve of Emily to think it would just happen.

Emily finally blinked and decided that she had been away from her desk for long enough. So she carefully placed all of her feelings about the situation, all of her feelings towards JJ, into their respective boxes and forcefully shut the lids before any of them could leak out again. Giving her reflection one more look, Emily nodded when she found herself presentable and walked out of the bathroom with her head held high.

She wasn't surprised to see Morgan and Reid waiting expectantly by her desk, and Emily couldn't help but muse that her teammates were becoming predictable. Giving them a questioning look as she settled at her desk, Emily then ignored them as they exchanged a look amongst themselves.

When it was obvious Emily wasn't going to offer information about what happened in JJ's office, Morgan approached her and settled easily on the corner of her desk, his arms crossing over his chest, "So?"

Emily didn't look up from the file she was currently reading, "What do you want Morgan?"

Morgan threw a concerned look at Reid before looking back at Prentiss, "So, what happened in JJ's office? Is she mad at you for something?"

Emily shrugged as she placed the file back on her desk, "Nope."

"Nope? That's it?"

Her face remained impassive as Emily answered, "Yeah that's it. What were you expecting?"

Reid sat forward in his chair a little more, "Well with the way she called you into her office, one would reason that she was at least annoyed by something that you did or said, something you were the cause of perhaps."

Emily shook her head slowly, her face contorting into one of concentration, "Nope. Now if you don't mind, I have a ton of work here."

The two men took the poorly veiled hint and returned to their respective desks, deciding to let the brunette be for now.

Emily rolled her eyes at her teammates before grabbing the top file off of her desk, opened it and getting to work on profiling the UNSUB the local LEOs should be looking for. She focused on the details of the case, the witness statements, and the crime scene photos. She absolutely did not focus on what it would be like if JJ chose her over what society viewed as normal, or what it would be like to be able to go home to JJ every night after a long day, or the way the blonde's hands would feel on her body as they explored, teased and fulfilled.

Emily squeezed her eyes tightly, her right hand coming up to put pressure on the bridge of her nose as she tried to ward off the thoughts of a life that could possibly never come to fruition. She started reciting her favorite quotes from Vonnegut as a way to refocus her mind on the case in front of her, allowing the familiarity of the author she adored to calm her racing heart. Sighing once again after she had settled, Emily began to reread the evidence that she hadn't absorbed the first time through due to her rather distracted mind.

The horrid photos, less than descriptive witness statements and all around heinousness of the crimes became her main focus, her main drive. Taking advantage of the silence currently in her head, Emily threw herself into the files, trying to bury her messed up life in the tragedies in front of her, and before she knew it, the last file was closed.

Emily groaned as she sat back in her chair and placed the finished consult on the pile to the right, her hands found her tired eyes and began to rub gently in a vain attempt to rid her mind of the photos she had spent the day looking at. Deciding that trying to rub the images out was a useless effort, she glanced around the bullpen, taking in the position of the other profilers.

Morgan's feet were propped up on his desk, a pen was in his mouth as he chewed on it thoughtfully. Reid was hunched over his desk in what Emily assumed was a rather painful position and was once again amazed at how quickly his pen flew across the notepad in front of him. Allowing herself a quick indulgence, Emily's bloodshot eyes wandered slowly, and hopefully nonchalantly, towards JJ's office.

The door was closed, but the blinds remained open, giving longing chocolate orbs a glimpse of the shock of blonde hair she so desperately wanted to run her fingers through. Sighing, Emily shook her head, keeping her mind from wandering too far, and looked at the clock on her desk. She bit back the next groan before it passed her lips, figuring two in the last few minutes would be overkill. They still had half an hour before they were allowed to leave for the night and that was nowhere near enough time to begin reviewing another case. So instead of getting another file, Emily opened her desk drawers and attempted to straighten the already ridiculously organized desk: which proved to be just mind numbing enough. The moment the minute hand reached the 12, Emily was handing in her completed cases to Hotch and grabbing her gear to head home for the night alone… again.

Exactly one hour, three traffic jams, and several choice four letter words later, Emily doggedly pushed open the front door of her DC condo, dropped her go-bag near the door, and let the heavy door swing lazily closed behind her. She didn't waste any time heading for the liquor cabinet and grabbing out the bottle of Patrón she had bought earlier in the week and several shot glasses. Pushing playback on her answering machine as she passed, Emily dropped the alcohol off at the island before making her way to the refrigerator, grabbing the lime slices she had wrapped in Saran Wrap.

"Emily, its your mother" Elizabeth Prentiss' voice echoed in the empty apartment, forcing it's single occupant to whirl around, uncap the bottle and take a long swig of the burning liquid. Emily grimaced at the taste and then pulled out a chair at the island, settled in and began setting up the four shot glasses, filling them with the slightly offensive substance. She tossed back the first two while her mother's voice droned on in the background, blathering about some function she wanted Emily to attend. Emily paused long enough to bite into a lime to cut the taste of the liquor as it slid down her throat. She picked up the next one, stopping to stare at the glass and the light that reflected through it, hoping that she could find some sort of solace within. When the answers she was so desperately seeking didn't present themselves in the shot, she tossed back the third with the fourth immediately following.

Knowing she had to slow down if she wanted to survive the night, Emily made her way to her stereo system, and switched on the iPod dock she had hooked up to it. Satisfied as Dance So Good by Wakey!Wakey! drifted smoothly in the empty condo, she made her way back to the island and poured four more shots. Tonight she needed to feel numb for the damage control she knew she had to do on her emotions. Things were getting out of control, she was losing control and that was something Emily Prentiss never let happen… ever.

Before she could pull her first compartment forward to open it, a knock on her door stopped any and all thought process from continuing. She waffled back and forth as to if she wanted to answer it. Her uninvited visitor decided for her however, when the knocking resounded again, this time managing to sound more impatient then the last. It wasn't the sharp staccato of fist on wood that finally decided for her: it was the muffled voice that declared, "I know you're in there Emily. Open the door."

Figuring the unwanted disturbance wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, Emily begrudgingly stalked to the door, her intent to make this person go away as soon as possible so she could get back to her self-wallowing. However, the second she yanked the door open and looked straight into bloodshot, puffy eyes that proved their owner had been crying, all plans of sending her away were forgotten.

"Jennifer? What's wrong?"