All I Want for Christmas

Summary: Everyone has a wish list for Christmas. Near the top of McCoy's is a wish to make it through the holidays before Jim manages to kill himself.

Rating: T (McCoy cusses - there's no helping it)

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but sure wouldn't object to finding McCoy wrapped up under my tree...

"Dammit Jim! What were you thinking?" McCoy exploded as Jim was carted into sickbay for the third time that week. This time after gallivanting off to an ice planet. If he could ask for one thing right now, it would be to not see his friend back in sickbay until well after New Year's. He shook his head as he started running diagnostics. If wishes were horses...

"I j-just thought it w-w-would be n-nice to have some sn-snow," Jim chattered, still shaking from cold.

"Well, what you've got is frost bite and hypothermia. Merry Christmas!" Bones barked sarcastically smacking a hypo against the kid's neck before rounding on Scotty. "What the hell did you think you were doing taking him down there?"

The engineer threw his hands up defensively. "It wasnae my idea. Ah just fetched him back!"

"Hmph," the doctor snorted, running a scanner over Scotty. "Well, at least you didn't do too much damage to yourself in the process. Next time drag him in here before he gets started on some idiot scheme. It'll save us both a lot of trouble."

"Aye, sair." Despite being the same rank as McCoy, Scotty nearly saluted as he backed quickly out of sickbay.

"Computer set cold exposure protocol," McCoy ordered and then turned a basilisk glare on his Captain. "You get out of those wet clothes and lie down!"

"Bones, I didn't know you were interested." Jim flashed a cheeky grin as he stripped, returning to his usual cocky self after the hypo had relieved the worst of his chill.

"Quit being a smartass or I'll thaw out everything but your dick." Bones pointed at the biobed. "Now get up there and let the tissue regen field do its work." He threw a blanket at Jim, muttering. "Snow - who the hell wants snow?"

"Non-southerners like it," Jim sighed, lying down on the warmed bed. "It's our first Christmas in space Bones. I'm just trying to, you know, make things merry and bright."

"Merry and bright?" McCoy scowled. "You already tried 'merry and bright' stringing those lights on the bridge and you nearly broke your neck in the process."

"But I didn't and the lights look great. We're all a long way from home and it makes a big difference having a few holiday touches."

Bones crossed his arms. "You mean like those evergreen bows you nearly severed your finger cutting in the arboretum?"

"Don't be such a grinch," Jim huffed. "I'm just trying to spread a little holiday cheer."

"You know what would cheer me? Not having you turn up in my sickbay every other day broken, bleeding or frozen." McCoy leaned over his troublesome patient, widening his eyes. "I mean what suicidal escapade's next Jim? Dressing up as Santa and getting stuck in a Jeffries tube? Getting trampled bringing in a herd of live reindeer? Maybe setting the galley on fire trying to bake Christmas cookies?"

"Oh shit!" Jim slapped his forehead. "Bones, I need to get out of here."

"Jim, please, tell me you didn't."

Alerts sounded. "Emergency! Fire teams to Deck 12!"

The doctor looked heavenward. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph... "

"Um, yeah, speaking of them," Jim eyed his friend hesitantly. "I need to borrow a scalpel. I was going to try to carve a little creche."

Bones stared a moment in disbelief. "No! Absolutely not! Is it too much to ask that you at least try to stay off the injured list for the rest of the damn holiday?" He threw his hands up, storming out of sickbay before he got too tempt to inflict the next injury himself.

Jim shook his head sadly. "Some people just have no Christmas spirit."

AN: This is all Trekkie2's fault for wondering in the review for Not Dreaming of a White Christmas what McCoy was going to have to say about that episode. Hope you liked it.

Please r&r