Chapter 7

Tim had hoped to fall asleep after Vance left, but he was too wound up. He wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and wake up with all this having been a dream. Barring that being possible, Tim wanted nothing more than to keep from seeing any of his teammates again. He couldn't believe that he'd done all those things on a PCP trip. He couldn't believe that there was that inside him...even crazy...

Tim closed his eyes tightly and curled up into a fetal position, blanket and hands over his head in an attempt to shield himself from knowing that he had that insanity inside him somewhere. Who was it that had said he'd erased the line between genius and insanity? Tim couldn't remember.

Whoever it was, he was wrong. I did that.

Tim groaned.

"Hey! The Probie's awake and unchained!"

Tim winced and didn't come out from under the covers.

Tony. I hit Tony in the face.

"Hey, McGee, you in there?"

Tim still didn't reply.

Maybe if I don't say anything he'll leave.

"McGee?" Tony's voice didn't sound quite so jocular.

"You said he was awake?"

Ziva. I didn't do anything to her...did I? Vance didn't say I did.

"Well, I thought he was. He's not moving, but..."

"If he is sleeping, perhaps we should leave him be. He was rather frightening when he woke up yesterday."

Tim winced again.

"No way. He'll be happy to see us! Where's the boss?"

"He is probably listening to Abby talk his ear off, looking for reassurance that she really does not lisp."

Another wince.

Lisping because I knocked her tooth out.

"Hey, guys, can you tell which tooth?"

Tim heard Abby's voice. He couldn't hear a lisp. ...not that it made him feel any better. In fact, he wanted to cry...which was stupid. Part of him knew that Vance hadn't been lying to him...but that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was...

"I can't tell," Tony said. "I'd never know you broke a tooth."

I broke it for her.

"Ha, they can't tell, Gibbs!" Abby said delightedly.

I kicked Gibbs.

Tim let out a whimper.

"Tim?"

"McGee?"

Tim curled into a tighter ball and didn't respond.

"McGee?"

Tim shook his head, even though he knew no one could see him. He was humiliated. He was mortified. He was horrified at what he had done. He didn't want to see these people. Ever again.

Then, he felt a draft as someone lifted the blanket off him.

"McGee, are you all right?"

"Go away," Tim whimpered...feeling both stupid for saying that, and embarrassed at being seen.

There was a brief silence and then someone sat beside him on the bed. Who that might be was instantly revealed when he felt the arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"What's wrong, Tim?" Abby asked.

Tim struggled to remain calm, but he couldn't. He started to cry.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Whoa, McGee...what have you got to be sorry for?"

Tim couldn't bear to say what he had done. Besides, they already knew. Abby hugged him more tightly.

"Tim, it's not your fault. Calm down! It's okay."

"I could have killed you. I probably would have if..."

"No way, Probie. Not a chance."

"There was a chance! I wouldn't have cared! I wouldn't have known! I could have shot you all...and not known I'd done it! I would have thought it was right! I don't even remember doing what I did! If I had killed you...I wouldn't have known about it until someone told me!"

More weights on the bed.

"McGee, it wasn't you," Gibbs said firmly. "The person in Vance's office wasn't really you."

"Does it really matter? It still would have been me...my hands...my gun..."

"Not your gun, Probie. You'd already taken the director's."

"You are not helping, Tony," Ziva said.

Then, the bugs were back and Tim began squirming and breathing heavily in his attempts to stop the sensations.

Abby didn't let him go, and someone else grabbed his hands, not painfully, just firmly.

"It's okay, Tim. Don't worry. We're all fine, and you will be in no time! Don't worry! Now that my crown is on, I'm not even upset at all! So it's really okay!"

It was less than a minute that Tim felt the bugs. Then, they were gone again. He still hadn't opened his eyes. There was another long silence.

Then...

"Hey, man...you're really upset by all this, aren't you?" Tony asked, sounding completely serious.

Tim nodded without speaking.

"Well...don't be. Come on, you hit me harder when we were on stakeout together. Besides, Vance and I are still kicking ourselves that we didn't notice how off you were at the house. We should have seen that things weren't right, but we didn't. We just let you go off to NCIS. So much for being trained investigators."

"I didn't notice either," Tim whispered.

"Yeah...but you were the one on drugs, McGee. You shouldn't have been in a position to notice."

"...and I didn't..."

"McGee, come on, it's all right. Really. If it wasn't, you know I'd be milking it for all it's worth."

Tim smiled.

"So, relax a bit and let us fawn over you. It'll probably be the only time it happens. Ever. In your lifetime."

"Yeah...I know." Finally, Tim opened his eyes. They were all sitting around him. "Where's Ducky?"

"A last-minute need to process a body. He'll get here."

"Okay." Tim looked earnestly at them all. He could see Tony's bruised cheek. He couldn't see any other sign of damage on any of them. "Are you sure that–?"

"Positive," Abby said instantly.

Tim laughed a little. "I don't know what to say. I'm really sor–"

Thwack!

"Stop it, McGee," Gibbs said. "You have nothing to apologize for. You weren't in control of yourself and there's no way you could have been once Arnold gave you the PCP. In fact, even if they'd realized it, the only difference is that you would have been put under sooner. They couldn't have magically cured you. All they could have done was try to keep you from getting so overloaded that your body gave up."

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity, Boss," Tim said.

There was a moment when Gibbs only looked at him blankly and then smiled as he remembered to what Tim was referring.

"Well, as I remember, that woman was murdered by someone else, not suicidal. ...and you weren't insane. You were drugged. So...I don't want you worrying about that."

Tim nodded.

"Thanks for hugging me, Abbs."

"Anytime, Tim," Abby said and put her arms around him again. "I'm just glad that I can."

"Thanks," Tim said again.

"I'll be glad when you're back to normal, McGee," Tony said. "You look too miserable for me to tease right now."

Thwack!

Tim smiled. "I think I'll be glad for that, too, Tony."

"Just remember. You said it."

"I will."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Two weeks later...

Tim inhaled deeply as he stood in front of the elevator. He hadn't been to NCIS at all since his...incident. He still hated thinking about it, but he'd come to terms with the fact that he'd been crazy. Temporarily.

"Agent McGee?"

Tim looked back over his shoulder and saw Henry smiling at him.

"Yeah?"

"You do need to push the button. I don't expect anyone else to be coming in here for a while."

"You're right." Tim stared at the elevator. "Henry?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I act crazy when I came in before?"

"You mean a couple of weeks ago?"

"Yeah."

"I wasn't really paying attention. I just signed you in. You were pretty impatient, I remember. Didn't want to wait for me to do my thing."

"I didn't hit you, too, did I?"

"Of course not. If you had, I'd have hit you back...and you'd have been down for the count."

Tim laughed.

"Won't get any easier if you stay down here."

"I know."

"So go on."

Tim nodded and pushed the button. The doors opened and he got into the elevator. Henry waved as the doors closed.

It seemed like it took forever for the elevator to rise to the level of the bullpen. When the elevator doors opened, Tim hesitated before stepping out. Tony, Ziva and Gibbs were already at their desks. He'd been a little late...worrying about coming back.

"McGee!" Ziva said, smiling happily at him as he walked around the borders. "You are looking well!"

Tim smiled in return. "Thanks, Ziva."

"Yeah, you're not looking too bad, Probie. I guess."

"Thanks, Tony."

"How are you feeling, McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"Like normal, Boss."

Gibbs nodded and looked at his monitor.

"The line's a lot thicker, now," Tim added, grinning.

Gibbs looked up in surprise and then rolled his eyes.

"Oh, man, McLame," Tony groaned. "That was bad...even for you."

"Thanks, Tony."

"For what?"

Tim just sat down and smiled, glad to be back. Even if he wasn't normal.

FINIS!