To 'theuntitled,' Hey, no need to threaten violence, my dear. You only had to ask nicely – lol!

Chapter 8

"No!"

Merlin sat bolt upright, as if woken from a nightmare and then blinked for a moment as he tried to get his bearings. He was in bed in their teaching chambers, naked and alone, with the light filtering in through the partially covered window suggesting that most of the afternoon had already gone. He looked around the room frantically, feeling groggy and confused, and wrestling with the idea that he'd missed something very important.

"Morgana?"

There was no reply which just made him even more worried. Perhaps she'd regretted their actions soon after and had left, unable to face him? That might make some sense but, Merlin felt there was more to it than that. He allowed his mind to wander back to earlier, surprised and almost annoyed at how vague his memories were.

Not that vague though and, after a sudden worry about his own shocking lack of control, he found himself starting to smile, remembering the kisses, the passion and … the rest. Had she really regretted it and - the memory suddenly returned - what had she meant when she'd apologised as he fell asleep? Not for seducing him, surely, he hadn't been that unwilling, after all. But no, he hadn't imagined it, she had said, 'I really am very, very sorry …' and the regret in her voice … the genuine upset. How had he not heard that before?

Muttering an uncharacteristic swear word under his breath, Merlin quickly got up and dressed, desperately trying not to think any more about that most incredible afternoon and focus on the here and now. It was late – later than it should be and it was more than likely that his absence had already been noticed. He'd had only walked a short distance into the more well used part of the castle before he heard Arthur's familiar voice, and very familiar tone.

"Merlin, where the hell have you been?"

"I ah …?"

"We've been looking for you everywhere."

"I had some chores to do and then I … well, I was a bit tired and fell asleep," he admitted, deciding that keeping as close to the truth as possible was probably the best idea. Even if what he'd been doing with Morgana this afternoon could in no way be described as a chore. He bit back a grin at the thought. Now was not the time.

"Gaius is frantic. We all are," Arthur continued.

"Why? What's happened?" Merlin asked, suddenly aware of the desperation in his friend's voice.

"It's Father he's ..." Merlin suddenly focused entirely on the Prince and saw what he'd just missed, the hint of tears in his eyes, despite his apparently stern countenance.

"Arthur, what's happened?"

"We don't know. I went to see him after my afternoon with Guinevere and … and he was … raving again. Not making any sense and far worse than he was after we retook the castle. So, I fetched Gaius who started to calm him down, tried to make some sense of what he was saying before sending me off to look for you. Where were you?" It was rare to hear such desperation in the Prince's voice.

"Where are they now?" Merlin continued, ignoring the question.

"In the King's chambers. Gaius says he needs your help, perhaps to get some medicine or sit with Father whilst he ..." He stopped mid sentence and gave a helpless shrug. Merlin gave a firm nod and headed off in that direction and, after a moment's pause, the Prince followed.

They arrived to find Uther sitting up in bed, his face pale, his eyes wide and his mouth constantly working as he muttered to himself. Gaius was just putting a goblet back down on the side, apparently having just administered some medicine to calm the King down.

"Merlin, at last. Where have you been?" the old man said.

"What's happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure. He was raving so much when I first arrived that I couldn't make any sense out of it at all. I'll give that potion a little bit longer to work and then we'll try to find out what has happened. Could you make out anything, Arthur?"

"Only that he was asking for Morgana," the Prince replied. "I sent Guinevere off to look for her."

To Merlin's annoyance, Gaius turned an accusing look to him. "I don't suppose you've seen her, have you?" the old man asked.

"Not for a couple of hours, no," he replied calmly, again allowing the truth of the statement to show. He hoped. Gaius was annoyingly good at seeing right through him, especially as far as Morgana was concerned.

"Father?" Arthur asked, sitting next to Uther and automatically leaning forward to check on him. Suddenly the King's eyes snapped to his son's and he moved quickly grabbing the front of the Prince's shirt.

"It can't be true, it can't be. I won't believe it ..." he hissed.

"Father, you have to tell me what happened."

"No, no. It's impossible. It can't be ..."

"What can't be?"

"She wouldn't, she isn't … it's not true."

Merlin suddenly started to feel nervous. Was he possibly talking about …? The main door opened then to admit a worried looking Gwen.

"I can't find her anywhere," she admitted. "No-one's seen her for a couple of hours now." Merlin's heart started to pound, fear and worry suddenly gripping him. He licked his lips nervously and then paused, again made aware of the last vestiges of a strange taste.

Apple?

The memory returned. Had Morgana planned rather more than a magic lesson when she'd arranged this whole afternoon? Had he been wrong to trust her? Was she still acting against him, despite everything she'd promised?

"Morgana was here with you, wasn't she, Sire?" Merlin asked, moving forward into Uther's eye line.

"No, no. It couldn't have been her. It must have been a trick. It must have been sorcery … she wouldn't … she couldn't have ..."

"What? What did she say?"

"Magic ..." It was almost a whisper and Merlin exchanged a wide-eyed worried look with Gaius.

"What did she … do?" he asked, re-phrasing the question.

"She said she had magic … showed me … but, it couldn't be her – it has to be a trick. My Morgana would never ..."

"What did she do, Sire?" Merlin pushed.

"Used magic, right in front of me. Attacked me – laughed, said ..." He swallowed hard. "Said things that made no sense." He shook his head violently. "No sense at all."

"She's gone, hasn't she?" Merlin sighed, but it wasn't really a question. He now had a fairly good idea of what had happened this afternoon.

"Gone? Gone where?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked, aware that he knew more than he was letting on. He looked up to find three pairs of eyes or staring at him, whist Uther continued to mutter, 'Can't be true … won't believe it … Not Morgana ...'

"She's not been happy for a while. Ever since we took Camelot back she's been ..." Merlin fought for a way to describe the situation without implicating himself in any way.

"... distracted." Gwen finished for him and he nodded. "Yes, she's not been herself for some time," she continued, "and, even when she was here with Cenred, something about her attitude was strange, as if she was … two different people somehow." Merlin tried not to show amusement at the comment, which was far more true than Gwen could have possibly realised.

"Merlin …?" Gaius continued in a warning tone.

"Just something she said in passing the other night when I gave her her medicine. I didn't think much of it as she was obviously tired and … irritable, but she was complaining about how bored she was, how useless she felt here now."

"Why didn't she come to me?" Arthur asked. "I could have helped."

"Perhaps, perhaps not," Merlin responded. "We all know her … secret now don't we?" He flashed a nervous look at the King. "Uther didn't but ..." Arthur and Gwen both nodded. "I think she's feeling isolated and fearful and … I think she's gone looking for others … like her."

"Yes, yes," Uther suddenly interrupted. "That's what she said." He gave a rather maniacal laugh. "Ridiculous … she belongs here and those with magic will not welcome someone like her."

"I'm not so sure about that," Merlin disagreed.

"But, she can't have magic."

"I'm sorry, Father but, she does," Arthur explained.

"How do you know this? Why did you not tell me?" Arthur gave the others a slightly exasperated look as the King's own reaction explained why nothing had been said before. Merlin knew that Arthur had simply tried to forget that one fact since they returned - choosing to pretend it wasn't true and that he wasn't disobeying his Father's first law by allowing his sister to stay here unchallenged.

"You said she attacked you with magic?" Arthur asked the King.

"She held out a hand and her eyes flashed gold and …" Uther shook his head, genuine fear on his face now. "It couldn't have been Morgana, couldn't have been my Morgana … she would never have done such a thing to me – I know she wouldn't."

"I'll grab some knights and go after her," Arthur suddenly decided heading toward the door.

"No!" Merlin shouted and then dropped his head as everyone stared at his outburst. "I mean, what will that achieve? She quite obviously arranged this meeting with Uther to ensure that he wouldn't go looking for her as he has in the past."

"You mean to say, she decided to … be this cruel … just to make her point?" Merlin just shrugged, surprised that Arthur would think that out of character. To him, the idea now made perfect sense.

"I think Merlin could be right," Gaius admitted. "She has battled with fear and uncertainly about her magic for years."

"You're suggesting I just let her go?" the Prince asked incredulously. "You're suggesting we do … nothing?"

"I agree with Merlin. I think she was very unhappy here," Gwen said then. "If this will make her happy, if she can be with her own kind then, perhaps we should leave her?"

"Her own kind is here," Arthur insisted. "Her family, her life is here."

"Morgana doesn't agree," Merlin said quietly. "She hasn't felt that way for … a long time now."

"Oh, and how would you know about that, Merlin?" He just shrugged. "Well, it's dark now," the Prince admitted, "So we can't do anything until morning anyway. You'll stay with Father, Gaius?"

"Of course, Sire and it would be helpful if I could keep Merlin here with me for a while?"

"Yes, I suppose ..." The Prince moved back over to the bed, squeezed his father's shoulder firmly and then marched out of the door. After an embarrassed shrug, Gwen quickly followed him.

"Well?" Gaius asked when they'd left. Merlin didn't need to look at the old man to know exactly what his expression would be and exactly where his eyebrow would be at the moment. He tried hard not to smile at the thought.

"I pretty much told them the truth," he said as they moved away from the King into the adjoining chamber.

"Pretty much?"

"Well, you know the rest," he said. "She's been especially bored and frustrated and used this afternoon as an excuse to arrange another magic lesson with me."

"And …?" Merlin quickly tried to work out a way to tell Gaius the next bit without incriminating himself. He certainly couldn't say that she'd laced her neck with a sedative. "I think she put something in my drink," he said instead. "It tasted a bit like … apple."

"Apple? Are you sure?"

"Well, a bit sharper than that perhaps but … it did have a sweet, fruit-like taste. She obviously set up the whole thing to make sure everyone else was occupied and then planned to put me to sleep so that she would have enough time to see Uther."

"Really, Merlin? is that all she did to get you out of the way?"

"Ah, yes …?" he responded nervously. "Why do you ask?"

"Only, what you're describing to me would certainly have the after-effect of knocking someone out but ..."

"What do you mean … after-effect?"

"The low after the high?" the old man continued, with a far too knowing look on his face.

"Gaius? What exactly did she give me?"

"Well it sounds like an aphrodisiac, Merlin. Not an exceptionally powerful one, I admit, but then I don't imagine you would need a strong incentive in relation to Morgana, would you?"

"You mean she … she actually, deliberately …?" Merlin felt his face flame red with annoyance as much as embarrassment.

"Well, you're right that she obviously did plan this whole thing very carefully," Gaius continued and Merlin assumed from his tone that the old man wouldn't be asking anything more, and probably wouldn't blame him anyway, considering the circumstances.

"Yes," he replied in a sulky tone.

"You hinted that she'd been talking about running away before?"

"Yes, she quite openly told me she wanted to go and find the Druids and I thought I'd changed her mind, reminding her off all the lengths Uther had gone to last time to find her again."

"So, she took your advice on board and decided to ensure that the King wouldn't have any reason to fetch her back?"

"Apparently."

The pair looked up suddenly as the door burst open and Arthur stormed in, waving a piece of paper at them.

"She left me a note," he said, with a glare. "She says she's left one for Guinevere too."

"What else does it say?" Merlin asked.

"Pretty much what you already guessed," he admitted. "Along with a few promises about the future, some soppy words of encouragement and a plea for me not to try to find her."

"Give her time and she might change her mind, Arthur," Merlin said, suddenly distracted as he wondered if Morgana had left him a letter too. "Perhaps it's just something she needs to do - a quest, if you like. Maybe after she's found what she's looking for she'll be happy to come back home?"

"Yes, that's what she implies here but, Merlin, I'm worried about how she'll cope. A lady of Court as she is, out in the wilds … in the company of … people like that."

"Morgana can take care of herself, as you well know," Merlin countered. "She could do so even before she knew she had magic. She'll be fine."

"I suppose … hang on, what do you mean by that? Knew she had magic? I assumed it was something she learnt deliberately – as a way to get her own back on Father somehow."

"Magic isn't like that, Sire," Gaius explained. "Admittedly, most people won't know if they have the ability until they try to use it but some, like Morgana, are so naturally powerful that they can't help but use it, even if they try not to." Merlin bit his lip, realising just how important this conversation was.

"Really?"

"That's why she's been acting as she has, Arthur," Merlin continued carefully. "She didn't want to have magic and then, when she realised she couldn't control it, she was scared; scared of what Uther would do if he ever found out."

"So, you're saying that I should just let her go? That I really shouldn't try to find her?"

"Perhaps this is the best thing for her at the moment," Gaius said. Arthur held his gaze for several long moments before giving a curt nod and quickly turned on his heel to leave the room. Merlin started to follow.

"Where are you going, Merlin? I need you here," the old man continued. The warlock stopped and allowed the Prince to continue down the corridor before turning back to his mentor.

"I'm sorry, Gaius but I was going to check ..." He ducked his head, embarrassed. "I need to see if she's left me a note too."

"Ah." The old physician's expression suddenly softened. "Of course but, don't be long will you? I have work for you to do." Merlin gave a curt nod of his own and left.

Two Hours Earlier

Morgana lay in bed, for some reason quite unable to move in order to put the next part of her plan into operation. Next to her Merlin gave a contented sigh as he finally succumbed to sleep. "Morgana ..." he mumbled.

The way he whispered her name sent shivers down her spine. Alright, so she hadn't actually needed to seduce Merlin to get him out of the way; a strong sedative would have had much the same effect, but she'd decided that, if she was going to leave and give up all rights to her title, then she might as well get some of the benefits in the process. Or rather, one particular benefit, and she knew from their previous encounters with Merlin that he was going to be far too much of a gentleman for such a thing to happen without a little help.

She had assumed that the act was going to be pleasurable, she had guessed that it might be quite fun but … that? She honestly had no idea just how incredible it was going to feel to have him inside her and that what she had experienced with Merlin would now be making her so emotionally attached to him that she really was struggling to find any sort of will to leave him.

But then, as he was always so keen to point out, she really couldn't stay here and be the Lady Morgana and continue such an intimate relationship with a servant. It would mean an almost certain death sentence for him, and he was not currently of a high enough station for her to claim him in any other way. She sighed, knowing that she had to go now or she never would. If she stayed here for much longer, she would not be able to keep away from him and that would put him in danger. She started to pull away but Merlin suddenly grumbled in his sleep and held her tightly, pulling her even closer towards him and preventing her from leaving. As she briefly relaxed back into his embrace, his frown turned into a small, contented smile as he nuzzled closer to her and she tried not to laugh at his reaction.

"Idiot," she whispered affectionately moving her head to kiss him gently on the lips. After another few moments she tried again, gently moving until he eventually relaxed his hold on her, before slipping quietly out of bed and quickly dressing herself.

So, hopefully Arthur would still be occupied with Gwen, and Gaius would be on his afternoon rounds. Still, she did need to keep an eye out for the old man seeing that he was obviously highly suspicious of her motives and could possibly be caring for the King now anyway. Luckily Morgana was able to navigate her way to Uther's chambers without meeting anyone of importance. As she approached his room, she saw the usual two guards outside and with a broad smile, she raised a hand, chanted a few words and the two of them quickly crumbled to the floor, fast asleep.

"Thanks for that spell, Merlin," she grinned, walking into the room to find the King awake and sitting in his usual place by the window. He turned to see who it was and afforded her with a huge smile.

"Morgana, my child. How good of you to visit me."

"I've come to say goodbye," she responded haughtily.

"I don't understand."

"Do you not remember the conversation we had just before I left with the ransom, Uther?" the King frowned and then shook his head.

"I told you not to go."

"Actually, at the time, we were talking about your decision to go ahead with an execution whilst you were at war with Cenred. We were talking about how you sent your only son out on some silly quest, whilst continuing to refuse to acknowledge … your daughter." Uther's eyes went wide and he shook his head.

"No, just a nightmare – didn't happen."

"What our conversation or you bedding your best friend's wife?" she asked cruely.

"Morgana, you should not use such language." She laughed then, briefly wondering if she should mention the fact that she was no longer an innocent young girl – especially after this afternoon but, it wasn't worth the risk, even if it would be certain to help the King to disown her completely.

"So, I'm leaving, Uther. I'm going to find people like me. People who understand what I'm going through and can teach me what I need to know."

"What, what are you on about, child?"

"I have magic, Uther."

"What? No, that's …. impossible."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't learn such an evil practice, not when you've seen what it's done to Camelot."

"Don't presume to know me, Uther," she snarled. "You have no idea what I would or would not do. How interesting that you choose only to hear and remember what suits you. You don't recall me telling you how much I hated you?"

"No!" He shook his head frantically.

"You don't recall me saying time after time that I didn't believe that half the people you executed were actually guilty of magic?" He shook his head again. "You know so little about me that you think I wouldn't have gone out of my way to learn something just to spite you?"

"You wouldn't have ..." His voice turned a little firmer. "You wouldn't have dared."

"Well, perhaps you're right about that, but then, I didn't learn magic, Uther, it was something I was born with."

"Impossible."

"Really? Arthur's a great warrior, but do you really think that's all down to the training? Don't you think that some of it was down to the skills he was born with."

"Just proper training," he muttered. "Anyone could … even you showed some skill with the blade."

"What about someone like … that skinny servant of his? What if Merlin had started training at seven?"

"A servant – a nobody."

"Even then, I doubt he would have had the same skill – he was not destined to have that talent. I have magic, Uther, it's been building within me for many years now." She held up a hand and chanted a spell then, creating her own version of the glowing ball that Merlin had taught her. Hers was green, currently flashing with sharp, white lights deep within it, and she sent it towards Uther with a delighted laugh as she made it spin around his head several times until he was crouched on the floor by his chair, almost crying with fear.

"No … I can't believe it, I won't. It's just my sickness, that's all. This is not real."

"Oh, believe me, Uther, this is all very real. I have magic, I'm going to leave to find somewhere were I can study it properly, and you are not to send anyone after me."

"No," he said, suddenly a little firmer. "I won't allow it … guards!"

"Sorry, Uther but I cast a spell over them and they're now fast asleep." The look of shock on his face was priceless and she laughed out loud at it.

"I-I don't understand what you expect to achieve by this, Morgana. Your place is here."

"No, it isn't. Not any more. I will leave here and come back when your son is King. In the future, Arthur will welcome me back with open arms and I will be acknowledged by him as his sister and his court priestess."

"Arthur would never consort with sorcerers."

"Really, are you sure? Why would he not when his father did?" Uther's eyes went wide.

"Ah you remember that now, don't you? You remember me telling you that I heard you beg Gaius to save me with magic."

"I could not let you die and it worked. Nothing else would have saved your life."

"Yes," she agreed. "Magic did save my life that day and yet still you hunted down other sorcerers whilst promising to keep Gaius safe."

"I'm sorry, I had to."

"And that's not the whole story, is it, Uther? I've now worked it out, you know? Worked out why you were so scared when I accidentally mentioned 'magic' and 'Arthur' in the same sentence."

"Morgana … please, he can't know," Uther pleased, head back down as he huddled against his chair.

"Using magic so that you could have a son when you already had a daughter who could take over Camelot on your death?"

"Camelot needed a legitimate heir."

"I am older than him, I have skills that he does not. If he was first born, or naturally born or if you didn't know of my existence - perhaps then I might understand but – having a child already and refusing to acknowledge her in such a way?"

"Please you don't understand, you're twisting everything."

"Now you know what it feels like. I'll be watching you, Uther and if you pursue me ... if you harm one single person in the quest to find me, then I will make you regret it for the rest of your, hopefully, very short life."

"You cannot go. Morgana … please … Guards!" Uther scrambled to his feet, holding his arms out to her, half pleading, half defensive and so, with a large sigh, Morgana raised a hand towards him and pushed, her eyes flashing gold.

The King of Camelot flew through the air and landed in an undignified heap on top of the royal bed.

"Oh Uther," Morgana said with a sad sigh. "Why do you never, ever listen."

xoxOxox

To my dearest Merlin,

Sorry.

I thought I'd say that straight away and get it over and done with. Otherwise I'd be writing it every other word and that would just get boring, wouldn't it? I could also list all the reasons why I did what I did but I know there's no need. You know me better than I know myself and so you know why … even if I suspect that you still don't fully understand.

I just wanted to repeat what I said the other day. I have to do this. I have to do this in the same way as we had to put the future back on the right path. I'm not supposed to be in Camelot right now - it just feels wrong to me and so, in many ways, I had no choice at all and the decision was an easy one.

Or, at least, it would have been a very easy decision if not for one thing.

You.

Leaving you is the only thing I regret, especially after this afternoon. I never believed for a moment that being with you would feel that good and being so close to you would feel so right and … I'm going to miss you.

However, don't think for one moment that this is goodbye. Even if it wasn't for this afternoon I would want to see you again and now, after that … Well, as I said before, now I've had a taste of you there's no way I'm letting you go.

I hope that you understand. I think you do – at least partially. I think you know that, despite the seduction, despite my feelings for you, the magic is more important to me than any relationship we may have.

That is my priority in the same way as Arthur is yours. It took me a while to accept that but, I do. I know that he will always come first for you and … I understand.

As you said, all we can do now is hope for a better time when Arthur becomes King. A time when magic is allowed and our kind is free. So I leave Camelot in your capable hands, my dearest warlock. Just make sure you hold true to your side of the bargain. Make sure you get Arthur to bring magic back soon, so that I can come back too.

With all my love,

Morgana.

xoxOxox

A/N. I'm reluctant to say, 'The End' because this fic seems to have taken on a soap-like quality and it is quite likely that this will be re-opened again in the future.

This last pair of chapters has had two aims. To give you more serious Mergana sexiness, and to move the plot forward to a place where I might be able to continue this AU story-line in the future. I think I know where the writers are going – Certainly I've agreed with their character/plot development 95% of the time - and so, if that's the case and we're heading in the same direction then ... this could well take off again. We'll see ;)

As most of you know, I've a number of loose ends to tie up in various fics at the moment and am working through them all as quickly as possible before another 'big new idea' hits me and puts me off-track again. Saying that, do let me know your thoughts about the future of this fic, the other stuff I'm working on, or any new ideas you have for me. I'll consider them all and put them on my 'to-do' list if they get the plot bunnies hopping.

Thanks

Jaq