Note: Something short I thought up while trying to fall asleep.
It's not meant to be good.
But review!
It's not set in any specific episode, for the record.
xxx
They had everything they needed.
A Criminal Minds DVD, a cup of cooked ramen noodles (chicken flavored), a packet of chili powder and a pinch of sugar. The DVD was put into the player while the rest was mixed in a metal bowl. Three young women sat in the room. Two looked to be in their later teens and the youngest looked to be about 15. She and one of the other girls were of Latina descent and looked enough alike to be sisters. The third was a pale, red-haired freckled specimen. She was stirring the ingredients while her friend fiddled with the DVD player and her sister stared at the bowl.
"Are you sure it's going to work?" The Geek (aka the redhead) asked
"It will. I'm sure of this," Q (the older sister) said and hit the main menu button.
"You got this off Wikipedia," Emily mentioned. Q just glared at her sister and went over to the bowl.
"It has to work! I am so sick of that geeky motherfucker," Q growled and picked up the bowl. "If it all goes to plan, then he will be out of the picture and they can be truly happy."
"You really need to go back to therapy," Emily said under her breath. She picked up the remote and hit play. The familiar theme song started up and Q picked up the bowl. She stood in front of the TV and threw the mix at the screen. They held their breaths, waiting for the result.
Much to the surprise of the whole gang, the portal appeared. Q gave her friend and sister her trademark 'told you so' grin. She was the first to hop in, diving into the alternate universe that they were had set out to repair this afternoon. The Geek went next, calling for her friend.
Emily was last, not wanting to be there when her mother came in and saw the mess.
Xxx
BAU Headquarters
Kevin Lynch had been having a pretty good morning. Penelope had let him spend the night and they had made pancakes with whipped cream. They had showered together and drove to work together. The only low point was her having to go to Maine with her team. He would miss her greatly but she would be back soon.
As he walked into his office, he was greeted with the sight of three strangers in there. One was tall and curvy, with Irish looks, and she was sitting on the table, staring at his screen saver. Another was short and thin, with curly dark hair. She was spinning around in his chair. The third was younger than her companions, dark haired and eyed. She just leaned against the wall, eating a Twinkee.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
They all proceeded to jump up and stare at him.
"What are you doing here?" Kevin asked.
"We are here to repair a horrible mistake you caused," the short girl said. "My name is queenofthelooneybin. But call me Q. Red over there is geekroyalty aka The Geek and she's just Emily as she doesn't have a penname."
"Why are you here?" Kevin was still confused
"Because what you did and insist on doing," The Geek snapped.
"What did I do?"
"You stole Garcia from Morgan! That upset a lot of people!" Q explained. "Basically we're here to tell you to piss off. Go away. Move, disappear, break up with her. We don't care how, but we do care that you go away."
"I really care about Penelope," Kevin argued. He turned to Emily, the only normal one in the group, it seemed. She hadn't said anything, but kept eating her Twinkee. He gave her a look that screamed 'please save me'.
"Hey, I agree with them," Emily mumbled, her mouth full.
"They belong together," Q stated.
"What are you going to do if I don't break up with Penelope?" Kevin challenged them. The Geek giggled and snapped her fingers. In his pocket, his cell phone vibrated and exploded.
"Every time you refuse an opportunity, that will happen to anything electronic you're near," The Geek said.
"Heed our warning," Q nodded. "Emily? Home."
Emily nodded and produced a bottle of something. She threw it at a computer. She went in first and then The Geek. Before she left, Q turned to Kevin, an evil grin on her face.
"Next time, it'll be bigger than a cell phone."
Xxx
As soon as she got back, Kevin Lynch threw 'it's not you, it's me' at Garcia and packed his bags. He had been offered a job in Japan and took it, fearing for his life and electronics.
In a living room in Maryland, three young women clinked their glasses and cheered as Morgan and Garcia kissed for the first time.