I became a little obsessed with Preitor Gavorn after playing Lord of the Shadow Broker and then doing a masskink fill on him on Live Journal (Originally titled 'Dreams of Illium'). I have characterised him here as a turian who is openly gay (of which there is not enough attention too in ME IMHO) but not really sure what direction in life he's heading. Most of the characters you willl see here are original and from my own imagination.

There is some smut of the m/m variety - if you are uncomfortable with that, please don't bother reading further.

I'd like to thank a few people for encouraging me, Jane (Coombsi here on ff), Raga and Kglaser and all the Clan V members over on BSN. Without their inputs and provision of constant visual stimulus I don't know how on earth I could have soldiered on. I certainly think this first chapter would not be as tight as I feel it is. A special shout out to Jane though for being my sounding pad and general beta, her humour and enthusiasm for the story has been awesome and if you get a chance check out her profile and stories!

I'd also like to thank Meekzu (Moranth here on ff) for additional comments on the chapter, very much appreciated.

Bioware is my Sandbox

Chapter 1 – Homecoming.

Preitor walked into the ceremonial hall, shifting uncomfortably in his formal clothes. He looked around. Only a smattering of familiar faces. Many appeared not to recognise him.

Well, it has been a long time.

Opening a page on Preitor Gavorn, up until now at least, would reveal a life that was somewhat average. The source of drama that had plagued him would be a familiar one to many: the complex web of family relationships. His parents, both engineers, had divorced when he was young, his father going off world, leaving his mother to raise two sons alone.

Cassia Gavorn had worked hard to keep her family together. She had kept her sons fed, clothed and educated, and while the gap from an absent father had had little impact on the younger Gavorn, the older, Caius, had been deeply affected. Now that Preitor had returned for her funeral, the anger and resentment that Caius still harboured would mean an inevitable confrontation and something that would test Preitor's usual easy-going nature. Just like it had during his rare, previous visits.

Yes, it's been a long time.

"Preitor? Is that you?" A female with markings of the Sextus clan approached as he sat down.

"Tacita! Yes it's me." He laughed, standing to greet her.

"I would know that laugh anywhere." She moved to hug him. He stiffened slightly, feeling somewhat awkward in her presence, but returned the embrace.

"Where have you been? It's been such a long time. Oh, Spirits, what am I saying, how rude of me, I'm so sorry. Your mother was an amazing person, Preitor."

"Thank you, Tacita. Yes, she was." He answered his thoughts drifting to his mother.

"Have you seen Caius? He was here a minute ago."

"No, not since I've arrived."

"Oh."

Yes, oh.

Her gaze shifted to the back of the ceremonial hall, and Preitor turned to follow it. Caius. His brother strode towards them, but froze when he spotted Preitor standing near his wife. He grimaced and continued his approach.

"Preitor," he said coldly.

"Caius." Preitor's voice was equally icy.

"Isn't this nice, oh Spirits, I mean isn't this good to have the family come together for this," Tacita said nervously. "Your mother would like that." A child of about six came running up to her, breaking some of the tension that was thick in the air.

"Mother, where are we to sit? Who is this?" The child pointed to Preitor.

"Don't point, Isatis. This is Preitor. He is your uncle."

"How come I've never heard of you before?" He asked.

"Well, you may not have heard of me, but I've heard lots about you." Preitor's cold demeanour dropped at the sight of his nephew's smiling eyes, "I'm pleased to finally meet you, Isatis."

Isatis grabbed his arm excitedly, "Will you sit with us, Uncle? Ma, Pa, can he sit with us?"

Preitor looked to his brother as Isatis spoke.

"Go and sit down over there, Isatis, the ceremony is about to start." He said to his son, before turning to look at Preitor, "Yes, your uncle can sit with us."

Isatis led his uncle to the front of the hall and they sat down to listen to the service. It was long. The eulogies, mostly from friends and work colleagues, spoke of Cassia's dedication to family and job. Many pointed out her success under adverse circumstances, but all spoke about her warmth, her love, her humour. It had been a long time since Preitor had cried.

After the ceremony, most of the hall vacated to a small space at the side of the venue. Various people by this stage realised that it was Preitor sitting with Caius and his family. Many came to greet him, offered condolences, and asked where he had been all these years.

"Thank you, I live on Illium now. No, I left the military eighteen months ago…" Preitor politely replied over and over again, their prying questions leaving him drained by the end of the day.

When all had left, and only the family remained, Caius asked, "Where are you staying, Preitor?"

"Nowhere as of yet, I only arrived this morning. I was going to stay at Mother's house."

"We moved her things from there a month ago, there is little left. She hadn't wanted to, but necessity and common sense prevailed. She had been staying with us until..." Caius' voice trailed off.

"Oh, I didn't realise. I guess I'll try and arrange… ah… a hotel then." He scratched his head.

"Come home with us, Preitor. It's where Mother would have wanted you." Caius' demeanour seemed reflective rather than confronting.

"Oh yes, please, Preitor, come home with us. He is right, Cassia would have wanted it," Tacita added.

Preitor nodded. Okay, I can handle this.

Caius and Tacita's home was luxurious by Edessan standards. Given Caius' status in local politics and the community, Preitor had expected his brother's house to be above average. Caius had returned from his military stint ten years previously and taken up civilian duties with some gusto, which had led to a quick rise in both Edessan politics and business. He had married Tacita, who had been a childhood friend of Preitor's, seven years ago, and within a year Isatis was born. There had been no more children since, but they seemed happy.

Preitor was shown upstairs to a small but comfy guest room; Isatis following him like a lost animal. He placed his bag next to the bed, and he and Isatis returned downstairs to the opulent living space.

"So what have you been doing on Illium, Preitor?" Tacita asked as he sat down, Isatis squeezing in next to him.

"Yes, what have you been doing, Preitor?" Caius echoed.

"This and that, I've started up a small business for myself. Security, mostly. Occasional errands."

"Errands?" Caius' brow plates rose.

"Odd jobs, delivery of packages mostly." Preitor knew that his answer might draw a snide remark or two, but he had no desire to elaborate what kind of odd jobs or packages. Since he left the military, he had specialised not only in security, but also in modification of weapons. This had been particularly lucrative for him, albeit occasionally illegal, and had allowed him to purchase a modest apartment in one of Nos Astra's less salubrious districts.

"So, you deliver peoples mail?" Caius asked.

"No, not really," was Preitor's only comment.

"Are you hungry, Preitor?"

"Very much so, Tacita," he replied.

"Well, I will leave you and Caius alone, come along, Isatis." She cast a penetrating stare at Caius before motioning for Isatis to take her hand.

"Do I have to?" The boy asked.

"Go with your mother, Isatis." Caius said sternly, a tone that Preitor knew all too well.

The young turian shrugged, reluctantly taking Tacita's hand.

Caius moved to the liquor cabinet at the side of the room and took out a bottle that Preitor recognised as one of the most expensive spirits from Invictus.

"Drink?"

"I could do with one, yes." He replied, grateful for the relief the alcohol might give to his rising tension.

Caius handed Preitor a glass and raised it into the air. "To Cassia Gavorn."

"Cassia Gavorn." Preitor raised his glass before his brother sat down on the opposite lounge from him.

"So, Preitor, what happens now?"

"What do you mean?" Preitor took a sip as he gave him a quizzical look.

"Now that Mother is dead, we should set aside our differences to honor her memory. It saddened her that we've lost everything that has connected us once."

"I've always been your brother, Caius."

"For too long that has been in name only."

"And what would you have me do? I'm settling on Illium, things are developing nicely."

"Delivering mail."

"It's not mail." Preitor sighed. He knew where this was headed, he rubbed his temple in response.

"Mother wanted you to come back here. To Edessan. Work for me. I can get you a good job at the ministry, Preitor. It would far exceed anything you could possibly develop for yourself on Illium."

There it was again, that pompous dictatorial tone he had whenever he wanted to pressure Preitor to do something.

"Hell, you might like it, Preitor."

Being bossed around by you, I don't think so. Preitor held his tongue.

"Like I said, Caius, things are going well for me on Illium. I'm not coming back to Edessan."

"You should stay a while; we have Mother's estate to sort out."

"I'm pretty sure you can do that without me."

"What if I get greedy? Take all her possessions for myself and Tacita?" He laughed, something Preitor had not heard from his brother for many many years.

"Honestly? I don't care. You can have as much as you want. You're the one with family. I have everything I need."

"Everything but responsibility it seems."

Preitor bristled at the statement.

"Someday, you might want to settle down, even raise a family…"

"Stop right there, Caius. You know that's never going to happen. As much wishful thinking on Mother's and your behalf, that's one thing…"

"Oh yes, I forgot. You don't like females."

"I'm not attracted to females, get it right will you?" Why, always the same question, like he doesn't know. "You haven't 'forgotten'. Why the hell do you keep bringing this up? Spirits, why is this an issue with you? On one hand you seem supportive, on the other you sound like you have something against my sexual preferences, that it undermines my responsibility in some way." Preitor quietly seethed before continuing. "You have a wife, you have a son. You have the dynasty you wanted. I am who I am." This is exactly how he expected it to be with his brother. It was always the same.

"I have a son, yes." He paused momentarily, "But your place is also here. On Edessan. With your family."

"I'm not coming back here to play lackey to you, Caius."

"You always were a selfish little bastard, Preitor."

"I have a job, I have responsibilities. But it's always the same accusations you throw. My supposed selfishness, my lack of responsibility. You never elaborate on that, and I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know where you get that from, Mother never said anything like that to me."

Caius snorted, "That's because she indulged you, Preitor. You were always free to do what you wanted."

"As were you!"

"You think? Mother needed me to be the alpha male in the house, she needed that more than she acknowledged. In the end, when she was sick, when you were, Spirits knows where, she had me and Tacita. Where were you? You'd left the military, you had no ties. An occasional visit is not enough. You may be the second son, but you had a duty to be here."

"Oh come on, you make her sound like she was some pathetic female with no ability to fend for herself."

"In the end she wasn't able to fend for herself, Preitor. When did you see her for the last time? What, three, four months ago? She went down rapidly. I was here, Tacita was here. You weren't."

Preitor sat back down. "I don't know what you want from me, Caius. I won't play this game. I came here to mourn just like you and Tacita and Isatis. So drop it."

"What game?"

"The good-son-bad-son bullshit you like to pull. The 'you're not being a very good turian, you're irresponsible, Preitor', bullshit."

An uneasy silence gripped both of them. They stared indignantly at each other, neither violating the hush that had come over the room.

Caius poured himself another drink and walked over to Preitor who held his glass out silently.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Caius asked abruptly.

"What? Yes, I mean no."

"Yes or no?"

"I was, but not any longer."

"Was he turian, at least?"

"Yes, he was turian." Preitor shook his head. "What if he wasn't?"

"If it wasn't, then… but he was so it's not an issue, Preitor," Caius said dismissively and stared into his glass.

More uneasy silence followed, until Caius finally spoke.

"I just want you to come back to Edessan. Even if you don't want to work for me, whatever you do on Illium, surely you can do it here?"

"There you go again."

"What? What does that mean?"

"It means it's not going to happen your way, Caius. What I do on Illium can't just be transferred. Edessan is a backwater. Just stop asking."

"Give me one reason why you shouldn't come back here, other than this is supposedly not a good place for business."

"Just one?"

"Just one."

"Okay, you want to know why I wouldn't come back here? Do I really have to explain that to you? I think you pretty much know the reason." Preitor drained his glass again and stared defiantly at Caius.

Caius' only response was to cast his eyes downward.

2167 – 18 years ago

Preitor was a little nervous. It was the first time he had felt this excited for a long time. He knew it was more than friendship; he had been certain of that when Laelius had suggested they meet later that day. It hadn't been the first time he'd felt Laelius' eyes wash over him as he bathed in the showers after a game, even though he had tried to keep his own eyes from doing the same.

All of his male friends joked about sex, but unlike them, Preitor's only reason for considering a female partner was his curiosity about the mechanics. Otherwise, he had no interest. Surely it's got to be similar. He'd asked his brother but Caius had laughed, and then said, 'I assure you, Preitor, it's not the same!'

"Preitor!" A familiar voice yelled across the field, distracting him from his thoughts.

"Hey, Laelius!" he answered enthusiastically.

His friend jogged up to Preitor and was slightly out of breath. "Where shall we go?"

"Let's go get something to eat at that place Tacita was talking about. And after that, maybe you want to come back to my place... or?"

"You sure? About going back to your place that is? I hear your brother is in town."

"Yeah, but he headed out yesterday with some friends, I don't know where they were going. And my mother won't be home till late."

"What if we get caught I mean…"

"Caius knows about me, Laelius."

"Yeah, but, still, I... I don't like the thought of him walking in on us whilst... you know."

Preitor reached his hand out and gently stroked Laelius' arm. "Yeah I understand. I'm a bit uncomfortable with that idea too. Caius has been acting a bit weird since he came back from Bostra. He keeps bossing me around like I'm some sort of recruit, arrogant ass that he is."

"Maybe your mother is keeping a list of all the bad things you've been doing whilst he's gone!"

Preitor snorted. "Me? I'm the perfect fucking son, didn't you know, Laelius?"

"Yeah right, Preitor; like the time you made that little bomb and set it off during morning exercise two weeks ago? The Turian/Palaven anthem sounded awesome with explosions." Laelius laughed.

"Yeah and they still haven't worked out who did it. But like I said, he's not around…"

Laelius moved up close to him, staring intently into his eyes as he spoke. "Well, why don't we skip the eats and head straight to your place then?"

"Yeah... um... okay," Preitor's dry mouth stammered, barely hiding his excitement.

After what felt like hours to Preitor, but was less than ten minutes, they arrived at the apartment. He took Laelius' hand and led him up to his bedroom, where they both sat anxiously at the end of the bed, a large, awkward distance between them.

"Did you see the game last week?" Preitor asked, his mouth even more dry than it had been before.

"Yeah, good game that was." Laelius answered, a slight nervousness creeping into his voice, that mirrored Preitor's own.

"Yeah, good game," he echoed, glancing at him with a shy longing.

Finally Laelius made a move, shifting closer so that he could place a hand on Preitor's leg. Preitor's nervousness translated to a slight shake in his legs as he turned to him reaching up hesitantly to tug on his fringe.

Laelius sighed before standing and removing his shirt, urging Preitor to do the same. He did so willingly.

Laelius removed his pants and underwear, Preitor's eyes following his every move, mimicking him till they were standing opposite each other naked.

Their excitiment was tinged with youthful embarrassment their erections only starting to appear. Preitor was barely able to take his eyes off Laelius' body, glancing nervously at Laelius' eager eyes before reached nervously out to grab Laelius hand to lead him over to the bed. They lay down on their sides facing each other.

"How's this supposed to work?" Asked Laelius.

"I have no fucking idea," Preitor laughed.

They moved closer, embracing one another. The touch of Laelius' bare skin on his own sent shivers down Preitor's spine. Their teeth began to nuzzle into each other's necks, while their tongues licked over the rough skin in exchange, exploring the strange taste. Laelius moved his hand down to Preitor's erection and began to pull lightly, his eyes watching Preitor's reaction closely. Preitor sighed. Another slight stroke and the sigh became more audible.

"How does that feel, Preitor?" Laelius whispered.

"Good," Preitor replied, his voice hoarse.

"Can you... I mean, do you want to touch me there too?" Laelius asked.

Preitor nodded and reached down moving his talons along Laelius' erection. They both touched each other intimately, releasing small moans from their union.

A loud bang downstairs made Preitor sit bolt upright.

"What the…?" Laelius said.

"Shit," Preitor swore as he fought to untangle himslef from Laelius. "It's my brother."

They leapt off the bed, hurriedly reaching for their clothes. Caius' heavy footsteps came closer. "Preitor, you'll never guess… ,"He said as he burst into the room. His smile was quickly replaced with confusion, then one of fury.

"You," he said, pointing to Laelius "Get dressed and get the fuck out of here, now!"

Laelius did as told, and as he moved to the door Caius kicked him hard in the flank. The younger turian gave a short yelp, before he hurried out of the room.

Caius turned to Preitor, "What the fuck is this all about?"

"What does it look like," He answered defiantly, the words a statement to his brother not a question.

"No, you tell me what is going on here. Now." Caius had barred the doorway, preventing Preitor from leaving.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm doing what I want to do, so fuck you." Preitor said as he put his pants and shirt back on.

"You selfish little shit."

Caius' fist connected with Preitor's face and he stumbled backwards.

"What the fuck was that for?" Preitor wiped the back of his hand across his now bloodied face. "You're an asshole, Caius."

"What the fuck is going on between you and Laelius? You better tell me." Caius was shaking with anger.

"Are you for real? Any dumb ass could see what was going on." He had a youthful swagger in his voice. "I was going to get laid. For the first time, I might add."

Caius' fist hit his face and he fell on his back. Caius jumped on him and began to pummel him. He tried to kick, he tried to fight back but the older turian was far too formidable and Preitor could do little to fight him off.

"Not in this house!"

Another vicious punch. By this time, Preitor's face was a bloody mess. The two had fought before, often in play, occassionally with violence, but Preitor had never seen Caius this mad before.

"You are not doing this to me... to us! I'm not letting you do this!" Caius shouted as he stood and pulled his younger brother up with him.

"What?" Preitor mumbled, unable to make any sense into his brother's words for he felt too light headed and his jaw had begun to distend, making thought difficult.

"I won't let you destroy everything I've worked for," Caius yelled again, his voice warbling as he punched him forcefully one last time.

Preitor's knees buckled under him and he fell into unconsciousness.

When he woke, he was in his bed, his face cleaned of blood and his shirt changed. Someone had tucked him in.

"Preitor," his mother said quietly from his left.

He could barely murmur through his swollen mandibles. Cassia's talons brushed gently across his forehead.

"I'm so sorry." She began to cry softly.

Preitor put his hand out to her, their talons entwining when she grasped it carefully.

"If I had been here, none of this would have happened." Her tears trailed down her face. Preitor responded by squeezing her hand tighter, shaking his head.

"Not your fault," he stuttered. His fault, him and his one eyed view of this family.

His mother fell silent and he felt her pleading look.

"Preitor, " she began.

"No!" He replied stubbornly, cutting her short. He knew exactly what she was going to say.

"He's leaving in a few hours," she continued, "And he wants to talk to you before he leaves."

Preitor shook his head violently, ignoring the pain it caused. "No, Mother!"

The two of them sat in silence for a minute before she spoke again.

"Please, Preitor." She gently touched his cheek and turned his face to look at her.

When he saw the pain in her eyes, he gave in, "I'm not doing this for him, but for you, Mother," he finally said.

She smiled weakly before running her hand across his brow once more and leaving the room.

Caius entered shortly after, and seated himself where his mother had sat before. Preitor stared unflinchingly at him, daring him to speak.

"Preitor, I…." Caius contemplated what to say. "I don't understand why you..."

Preitor cut him short. "You don't understand? Are you serious? I confided in you," he glared at his brother, confused and disbelieving.

"No, it's not that. You know I have no problem with that."

"Then what the hell don't you understand? You come back here, acting like an imperious ass, bossing me, bossing Mother around, accusing me of being irresponsible and selfish and then beating me senseless." Preitor spat every word at his brother. "And then you say you don't understand this?"

"Preitor, I'm… "

"Was it the last straw, Caius? Me being gay? Me… "

He didn't answer.

"I thought you were above that shit. You seemed fine about it when I told you years ago. Sure, you can call me immature, self-centred but I thought…"

"I'm not homophobic, I've already said that, Preitor. Far from it," Caius interrupted.

Preitor snorted, "You have a funny way of showing it."

"If our father had been here, he would have been him giving you the beat down."

"What the fuck are you talking about Caius? He's not here, and you're not him, or are you trying to emulate him in some sick way?"

Caius winced at Preitor's last comment.

"You didn't know him, Preitor, you were young when he left. He was an asshole. Despotic, tyrannical, heavy-handed, cruel. I'm going to be a better turian than him, a better father, a better..." He moved his eyes down to the floor.

"Not getting off to good start." Preitor replied angrily.

"I want good things for you, Preitor. But you lack discipline, self-control, if you continue to act this way... I just don't think you'll get them if you continue to act like this."

"Like what? You've got to be fucking joking. You say you want to be better than our father by acting exactly like you expect he would? "

"You'll understand when you're older, Preitor. Right now you're just a bag of hormones, gut instincts and bad behaviour. I'm not proud of this, but I did it for your betterment. It's probably a good thing for you to be heading off into service sooner rather than later."

"I might be young, but I've known myself and my desires for a long time. By betterment do you mean a better turian? Or something else?" he stumbled over his words as thoughts on what happened began to arise, no, Caius, don't do this to me. "I thought you would… I didn't expect you to act…" Preitor could no longer take it, he turned his head away refusing to look at Caius anymore, the anger, the pain, the humiliation, washed over him, and he began to sob. "Just leave, Caius." He said between breaths.

Caius stood, and quietly left the room. Whatever bond they had, whatever had previously kept them close, was now well and truly broken. Preitor wept for that most of all.