Author's Note: This is long and overdue and luckily its done now. You may love or hate the ending. It's the best I could create and frankly I care more about the issues and dialog and middle of the story or meat as some people say. Enjoy. Yeah, I'd appreciate reviews, clearly, but if you find the time to write one that would be wonderful. Please note I will not write a sex scene, but teasing is so much easier, and enjoyable. Enjoy yourselves and thank you for reading.
"Mmm," Alex moaned and gently placed her hands on Marissa's hips, feeling her hip bones that felt more prominent. "No...no," she said with more certainty as she gently pushed her away.
Marissa on the other hand tried to hold onto the older woman by pulling her closer, in vain to remain in contact with her as she had a loose embrace on her neck. Until she slide a hand down and held her side, taking the initiative to hold her closer, her leg coming in between her thighs.
"Mmmm, ugh,"...she groaned, "fuck," was nearly spat out as she became annoyed at herself for tilting her head to allow Marissa more access to her neck, who was hungrily running her tongue and teeth over the skin. She knew she was frustrated on more than one level, due to the turn on, as she pushed Marissa back again and moved a foot off to the side; purposefully avoiding Marissa's direct line of vision. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, inhaling a deep breath as she thought-I'm going to need a cold shower.
A solid three seconds passed until she opened her eyes and asked gently, "What's wrong?" Marissa only smirked and tilted her head to the side.
"You're not letting me kiss you," she said easily but with an edge of knowing flirtation. And although Alex found it charming, she was wearing down her patience, something she had little of; unless it came to Connor and the wanton girl in front of her.
"You're deflecting," Alex voiced with tired certainty. A frown crossed over Marissa's face and she could see her tense and become physically drained.
"I don't need you to psychoanalyze me," the lighter brunette said defensively.
"And what you need is a quick fuck and to use me?" Alex said without malice-just a hint of knowing that it was necessary to challenge her.
It wouldn't be quick-Marissa thought offhandedly, but then the previous words sunk in.
"You think I'm using you?" Marissa said narrowing her eyes, failing to allow the hurt to be seen.
"I think you're avoiding," Alex said with a small nod, though her face was devoid of emotion. She was more stating an observation. Instead of getting a clear answer Marissa walked away and started to look at the walls, clearly in search of something.
The shorter brunette only leaned against the wall and watched, slightly amused. "Okay...what are you doing?" She said while trying to hide her smirk.
"Looking for proof of your doctorate in psychology," Marissa almost shouted back, getting into her smart-ass theatricality. Alex wanted to indulge her, a small part of her, but knew it would only escalate the moment.
"I don't need one. I just know you." Alex replied gently to Marissa's back who was still turned away from her. She could tell the taller girl had flinched at the remark though.
"You know me?" She said turning around, her eyes full of an intensity that rivaled anger.
Alex gently crossed her arms under her chest-ready for a long, much needed monologue.
"You know that people view me as a bitch?" She got out bitterly, allowing herself to scream. "You know that people think of me as a murderer because I let him die? That because I took my friend who's a lawyer with me during questioning...my friends...think I was covering something up when really I wanted someone to have my back so that when they questioned me, again," she stressed, "about my sexuality and if I slept with him they'd see the police were being inappropriate and more so when they asked if I slept with his girlfriend?" She spat out furiously, her chest rising and falling quickly.
It was straddling a fine line of unnerving and intimidating that Marissa continued to stare at Alex. The older woman however knew this was needed, crucial to Marissa right now and shouldn't be interrupted.
"You know that my entire view of myself gets thrown off when I find out people think of me as a fucking cold hearted murderer-really?" Marissa said staring at Alex, daring her to refute her. On instinct the only action Alex could think to do was slowly walk towards the girl who had finally released some baggage and heady issues.
Her arms came up, she wrapped one around her waist first, carefully pulling her in as her left arm came around her shoulder blade, her hand cradling the taller girl's neck, allowing her to pull her in more. It took a few seconds for it to register that Alex wasn't rejecting her. When her arms came around Alex's shoulders she felt like she was letting something go-emotions maybe, as she held the older girl closer. It was reassuring to not feel judged, but instead have support...and possibly love. And maybe acceptance of her thoughts.
Marissa relaxed into the hold as she felt Alex's fingers graze the back of her neck and begin a rubbing motion as though to sooth away the tension. The action made tears form on the corners of Marissa's eyes, not remembering the last time someone held her without wanting something from her and just being comforted. It felt a little overwhelming and foreign as she tried to push back but Alex only continued her gentle hold. Not letting go but not forcing anything either, an action that was signature Alex.
Sighing, Marissa stopped her physical protests and fully accepted the older girl's giving actions. As she let her forehead fall into the crook of Alex's neck where she breathed her in-the scent familiar, she relaxed more.
"You're beautiful," Alex said with certainty as she pulled the taller girl in tighter, unknowingly making Marissa's lips graze her neck. Luckily Marissa lifted her head to look at her faux therapist. The action was appreciated by the shorter woman who reminded herself to focus. The face before her seemed puzzled.
"You're beautiful," she began again, "with all your quirks and your barriers...and moods," she said with hesitancy. "I enjoy the whole package."
Those words were what sent Marissa over, unfortunately it couldn't be held back as a few tears escaped, followed by more as she tried to brush them away.
"I'm sorry," she said and her voice cracked.
"Hey, hey," Alex replied, moving back a few inches and wiped away Marissa's tears with a caring hand. "No need to apologize."
The taller girl only let out a half amused smirk, feeling how easy it was to be with girl in front of her who had a wonderfully laid back nature. She felt nothing else than the need to kiss her. Glancing at her lips she noticed they were moving.
"Eyes up here," Alex said with demand but remained playful. "Listen," she continued gently, when the taller girl met her gaze, "most people have difficulty believing someone pretty is gay. Its an odd doubly standard, but there's still the expectation that all gay men are femmes and all gay women are butch," she said analytically. "Maybe not all, but most," she added. "So I can see why the police questions would annoy you because they were beyond rude and insensitive but unfortunately they were following procedure," Alex said gently-playing the devil's advocate.
"It was procedure for them to ask me if I've ever dated and had sex with guys?" Marissa said with growing hostility but still remained close to Alex for reasons that were beyond her comprehension. And fact was she didn't want to think about it, she still felt...safe in the other woman's hold.
"No, it certainly wasn't." Alex said after a deep breath from trying to remain calm that anyone had talked to Marissa that way when the girl was very likely traumatized and in shock at the time. "But if you want I can make a few calls and have someone punch him in the face...a couple of times," she said with a smirk-trying to get the girl to relax somehow.
Next she had felt Marissa slap her arms, not hard. "Alex!" Marissa said with a smile, loving the shorter girl's protective streak.
"That's my girl," Alex said with her own smile-content that she had made one appear on Marissa's face. Not being able to help it she leaned forward and kissed Marissa on the cheek, leaving her confused as to why she hadn't received a proper one on the lips. Alex began to turn and walk away, half way down the wall Marissa took in how tense the older woman was; as though she was holding back. She replayed the last five minutes in her head and realized she was gentle…overly so. She held her like she was fragile. Following after the girl slowly Marissa grasped her hand and slowly turned her around.
"I'm not breakable, you know," she said with her own certainty. With a frown Alex tilted her head and on instinct started to move her thumb on Marissa's hand who had entwined their fingers.
"I never said you were."
"But you're acting like it," Marissa said accusingly.
"You want me to apologize for that?" The older woman asked still confused and growing angry.
"No, I just don't want you to walk on eggshells."
"I'm not," Alex said dropping her hand and crossing her arms.
Marissa rose her eyebrows. "You kind of are," she said knowingly but with confusion that they broke physical contact.
"I'm not going to fight or even argue with you, you don't deserve that," the shorter girl said the last part to the ground.
"I just want you to be honest."
"And I don't think you can handle that. You've said a lot today. I'm proud you got it out but we can save it...my thoughts for another day."
"Don't you think I should judge what I can handle?"
"Yes, but you worry a lot of what people think of you. In a way you are fragile," she mumbled the last part.
"I'm not weak, Alex," Marissa said raising her voice.
"I never said that," the shorter girl said, pained, feeling like the conversation was going in a completely wrong direction. "You're strong," she said after a few seconds to collect her thoughts. "I'm proud of you for all you've survived. In no way are you a murderer. That's just absurd," she said letting her annoyance slip out. "You're dealing with everything gracefully and I wouldn't want to be in your position but I'd trade places so you wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit," she said angrily. She took in deep calming breaths and avoided looking at Marissa until she felt hands on her shoulders that slowly moved to her neck. She almost purred in a soft moan when she felt Marissa's fingers lace into the back on her neck and slide into her hair. "You're hard not to love," she said with a sigh.
"You love me?" Marissa said shocked. Alex's eyes enlarged. Unaware that she had said the last part out loud.
Ummm, she thought as she squeezed her eyes tight. Thinking Alex didn't hear her Marissa gently inquired again, but without the shock.
"You love me?"
"Didn't really have much choice did I?" She said begrudgingly, but smirked as she looked at the ground.
"Jesus you're such a softie," Marissa said as she wrapped her arms around the woman more.
"Am no," came the muffled reply that was cut off at the end when Marissa firmly pressed her lips against Alex's. Pushing the shorter girl up against the wall she brought her hands down to her chest and moved further into Alex who gasped into her mouth. Taking her bottom lip between hers, Marissa bit on Alex's swollen lip making her moan again. Deeply enjoying the sound and that she was the cause she spread Alex's legs with her own and moved her hip to press into the apex of Alex's thighs. Everything in Alex's head told her to let it happen but she pushed against her thoughts and pressed her hands into Marissa's hips and put distance between them. (Author's note: At this point in time in a dream world this is when Quinn Fabray would smoothly walk out from behind a corner and say it's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.)
"And stubborn," this time Marissa said with annoyance at being stopped.
"I have to check on Connor," Alex said gently and all the annoyance drained from Marissa who pieced it together.
"He's probably fallen back asleep," Alex said, trying to catch her breath, "but I'll call Jodie and she can take him for the day so we can have time for ourselves," she said with a small smile that was threatening to become larger. She excused herself and moved away from Marissa's grasp to head back into her room.
After grabbing her phone from the nightstand she was glad to see no one had called. Although Jodie wouldn't like having to babysit, she also knew her ex was remarkably okay her dating Marissa. Their brief conversation about Alex's happiness was blunt but there was obvious consideration. Alex was focused on Connor for years and didn't really consider seriously dating anyone. The few one night stands were dates through friends of friends but she wasn't ready to commit and get comfortable with someone now that she had a kid, which still threw her for a loop sometimes. But Marissa fit into her life, even though she had issues she needed to work through. This mature, older Marissa was one she could trust-something even Jodie surprisingly commented on.
As she waited for the phone she tried to relax but she bit her lower lip and felt the swell in it-setting off a replay of the last ten minutes.
"Yup?" Interrupted her thoughts.
"You have I both have the day off...but..." she started slowly, feeling guilty for asking Jodie.
"Out with it," Jodie said somewhat impatiently in her state of half asleep.
"Would you mind taking Connor for a few hours...I told Marissa I'd help move her things."
"Into your place?" She asked amused.
"No, her apartment across town," Alex said nonchalantly.
"You just want to get your mack on." Jodie said and her smirk evident when her voice rose. Alex shut her eyes. There was a downfall to your friends knowing you so well. A moment of pause and Alex replied.
"And I'm helping her move."
"Ha yeaaaah. Well I'll take the little man. I'll be over in...ten."
"Try not to make out with Luce for too long, the girl's got a job you know," Alex said with a smirk, knowing Jodie was going to wake up her girlfriend after the call.
"Just to spite you I'll be over in fifteen now," she said half jokingly and hung up the phone.
Tossing her phone on the bed she sat at the end and took some deep breaths. She knew she was about to have sex, in all likelihood anyway and it would be different. There was attachment and emotions that came with Marissa and she knew it would be more intense than her previous one night stands. Getting up after composing herself she wandered over to Connor's room but already found Marissa leaning against the doorway contently observing the little con-man. Sliding her hands around Marissa's body and her palms pressing into her flat stomach, the taller girl responded by moving back into Alex more, allowing her to small her hair and take in the moment. Having someone she loved in her life and it felt natural that Connor would take to her and enjoy her company.
"Jodie will be here..."
There was a light knock on the door followed by someone having the audacity to already come in. Alex rolled her eyes.
"Speak on the devil," she mumbled into the taller brunette's neck and lightly kissed the skin before dropping her arms.
"You're early she said," turning to her ex as her eyes portrayed a silent thank you.
"He's still asleep?" She said with a coffee in hand.
"Yeah, he'll stay like that for another hour, even if you move him, kid's dead to the world, 'til he wakes up and enjoy that spurt of energy," she said with a smirk. She caught Marissa who was still standing in the hall observing everything with her hands in her pockets.
"Fine, fine, I'm leaving." She said tossing back the last of the coffee and putting it in the trash as she made her way around the kitchen. It only took five minutes to gather the zombie-like Connor and put him in the extra car seat that was in Jodie's car. When they heard the tires off in the distance it took all of three seconds for Marissa to attack Alex and lead her towards the bedroom.
An hour later they came up for air. At first it was rough, more so Marissa was a little rougher than she remembered but some part of Alex felt that the younger girl was still trying to prove to her that she wasn't fragile. But she enjoyed making Marissa groan in frustration when she went painfully slow, excruciatingly so until the taller girl's nails dug into her back to make her pick up the pace. The hour felt like a long and well worth it marathon.
Laying on their backs, Marissa's wrist and hand resting on Alex's stomach she contently laughed until she said, "that was worth the wait." Feeling the infectious laughter and her bed slightly shake at the woman's intake or breath she rolled back over and kissed Marissa's cheek.
"Okay, how about a shower and then we head to your place?"
"One condition." Marissa said with conviction and a tone that implied she wasn't going to back down.
"That would be?" Alex said raising an eyebrow.
"We take one together." She said shifting closer to her girlfriend and kissing her hard, making Alex's body heat up again with want, loving Marissa's assertive side. Mmmm Alex moaned in a hazy agreement. "See you in there," Marissa said with a smirk and got out of bed, void of self-consciousness and went into the adjoining bathroom. It take the former blonde a moment to will her body out of bed, feeling a little soar but enjoying the feeling.
The shower was longer than her usual showers for obvious reasons. She had to focus on the floor while Marissa was standing in towel. Hearing Marissa chuckle made her blush, knowing she was being rather transparent at the moment.
"You're really obvious and very cute," Marissa said knowingly.
"I'm not cute," Alex said glaring at the floor, still avoiding Marissa's form.
"Mm yes you are," She said wrapping her arms around her girlfriend who was turning a deeper red. Placing a kiss to her cheek after wrapping her arms around the smaller girl's waist for a change and withdrew to lay on the bed, the towel very close to coming undone.
"Oh that's not playing fair," Alex said with her own smirk as she slide her body over her girlfriend who was playing her expertly. It was automatic to slip a hand to the side of her face, her palm holding her jaw as she deepened the kiss. Letting Marissa pull the towel off of her Alex followed suit and did the same to Marissa's. It was a surprise when Marissa flipped them over so she was on top, straddling the former blonde's waist, and then more of a shock when she took Alex's hand and moved it lower on her own body.
A half hour later the two women finally got out of bed, took separate showers, Alex took a cold one and were in Alex's jeep. The ride over was pleasant and Marissa continued to tease while she kept her hand on her thigh and drawing tiny circles into her tight jeans. The sensation was similar to a tickle and also raised her body heat.
Thanking some unholy god Alex parked the jeep quickly when they were at the apartment and Marissa gave her thigh a squeeze. Not caring that they weren't behind closed doors Alex unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over to claim Marissa's lips, letting go some of her frustration. This time she matched Marissa's intensity. She didn't hear Marissa unclick her own seatbelt and open the door to slide out. The action resulted in Alex trying to refrain from pouting. Mumbling to the ground she got out of the jeep and followed Marissa to the entrance and then to elevator. While waiting they kept brushing the back of their hands together as they stood side by side. Alex considered numerous ways she could take her girlfriend against the wall. Worst elevator ride ever-she thought in her head.
Luckily the door opened and she again followed Marissa. Not minding that it gave her the opportunity to check her out in the skin tight dark jeans. Her mind was wandering and failed to notice Marissa had put her key in and opened the door. It only registered to her when Marissa turned around and pulled her by the front of her shirt. Loving the attention she let herself be pulled in and even enjoyed being pushed against the door. When Marissa pressed her body against the shorter girl's she didn't mind closing her eyes and forgetting the moving that they intended to do. It wasn't until Marissa moved backwards, still pulling Alex's shift that was bunched in her hand and felt into the girl when they reached a couch.
Finally opening her eyes after realizing Marissa was very smooth and they hadn't fallen over any boxes. The entire apartment was organized and looked lived in. Books were on shelves, there weren't any boxes, on the table a vase of flowers were sitting in the middle of the table.
"What the hell," she said tilting her head, raising her voice, but not in annoyance.
"Took you longer than I expected." Marissa laughed lightly, clearly enjoying the moment.
"I blame you, you and your lips," she said with her own laughter.
"Yeah and you like it," Marissa said moving into her more with an unaware dreamy look on her face which made Alex smirk.
"So the tooth fairy stone your earring and gnomes completely unpacked your apartment?"
"Close. Summer did," Marissa said with a smart-alec tone.
"I'm going to tell her you said that," she replied with a smile while she pulled Marissa in closer by her back and got more comfortable on the light grey, modern couch that she would later think really fit Marissa's style.
"No you're not, you want to see me dead?" Marissa said with a shriek.
"You can't shut me up," Alex said with a smirk that she thought would become permanent if they kept up the playful bantering.
"Yes I can, you like my lips," Marissa got out as she let her head fall closer.
"Lies all lies," Alex mumbled against her girlfriends lips, almost moaning into her mouth.
"Uh huh," the taller girl said back, clearly not believing her as she pressed her hips harder into Alex making Alex forget words. "Time to break in the couch," Marissa continued as she moved her head to the girl's neck and began lightly nipping.
"If we must," Alex said with a fake sigh but held onto the Marissa's lower back to keep her there until the taller girl lifted herself a bit more to smoothly remove her shirt.
Sweet baby Jesus-Alex thought biting her lower lip, feeling her libido hitch after it had been dormant for months. She loved this girl, she didn't feel tired at all even though she had every reason to be. Instead Marissa was like a drug, a perfect high for all her senses. Moving back down Marissa migrated her hands to the shorter woman's chest leaving her neck exposed, allowing Alex the chance to kiss along the tendons there and inhaling.
"You'd think we didn't just spend this morning having sex," Marissa released in a breathy tone, the message that she was a bit shocked how Alex was so enthusiastic to go another round. Marissa's words were heard as though she were in a tunnel, she was very much focused on the way she smelled and kept falling deeper, possibly into Alice's wonderland.
"I missed you," she said before she could think to censor herself. But she had missed her. She had never wanted to break up when they did in high school, though maybe they had needed the time to grow as individuals and were better for it. Marissa was more available and ready for a relationship than they had been and although the sex was great back then she was startled at how it had been better in the present.
Clearly finding Alex's honesty to be a turn on Marissa quickly decided Alex in clothes was evil or at least a sin and worked to remedy that or in her own way make the situation pure. Or maybe it was that she wanted to worship her girlfriend. They spend the next half hour doing so.
Finally when they had gone through the tour of the nice sized apartment they took a shower, pleasantly washing one another without getting too worked up. When a late lunch was decided on they walked around town, seeing as how the apartment was in the middle of downtown and ended up at a tiny, hole in the wall Italian place. Playful conversation, more inquiries of Connor and Alex's life came up while Alex avoided discussing Marissa's friend who died and focused on her courses and plans.
"Summer's actually planning on making an eco friendly clothing line. She has a friend who helps her design and make the clothes and she asked me to be the sort of spoke's person, slash model," Marissa said shyly, clearly still considering it.
"That'd be great, very Summer, and you could still do school and help her and get to spend time with her, I don't see any issues." Alex replied calmly.
"Of course you wouldn't, you'd be dating a model," she replied with a smirk.
"I'm hardly that shallow," Alex said in all seriousness.
"I know you're not, but...I think...modeling is just another way for people to judge me and I don't think I care to be put in that position."
"Then you don't have to," Alex said gently as she took a sip of her wine. Marissa looked off to the side and sighed.
"I probably will anyway. Summer's my best friend and getting to spend time with her is a perk," she said sweetly.
"And that's why I love you," she said after taking the last sip from her glass. "You're a good friend." Marissa could only smile back and enjoy the compliment even though compliments were often hard for her to take, but they felt easier with Alex, accepting them.
"I love you too," she said, letting the day sink in and that it felt so natural and at ease to be with. The older girl almost beamed back at her but covered the fact that she was ecstatic up. It was the first time Marissa had admitted that she loved her. In high school the words never came out of her mouth, but now it was said without reserve.
"Check please!" Alex said turning around to their waiter and she heard Marissa giggle at the action.
"We haven't even gotten our main course, Alex," Marissa said with her hand over her mouth, trying to contain her laughter. Turning around to face the girl she locked eyes with her, intense blue eyes that held a dark ring around them.
"I need to make love to you now," she said with absolution and rested her elbows on the table, proper etiquette be damned, annoyed there was a table between them. The only bodily response Marissa could convey rather than dinning and dashing which she wouldn't do was bit on her lower lip. Keeping her eyes on the girl infront of her Alex got out the money after the waiter brought over the bill. Very briefly looking at her wallet she grabbed the right amount and left a tip then looked back at Marissa.
"And stop doing that," she said playfully, happiness in her voice. Marissa stopped but sucked on her lower lip for a second then released it. "That's my job," she said as she got up and followed Marissa out of the small building. They held hands once out on the street and they both had to remind themselves to walk, don't run, even though there wasn't a pool in sight. Again the elevator was painfully slow but instead of dealing with the tension Alex pushed Marissa's body up against a corner and took control, something Marissa had secretly wanted Alex to do since this morning.
When they got to the apartment Marissa didn't bother to relock the door once they were inside. Alex moaned thinking this was now her favorite pastime, kissing Marissa. She admitted she could probably get off on kissing alone but didn't want to test that theory. Finding themselves on the bed, Marissa groaned and held the former blonde's shoulders.
"Mmm fuck me," she said in a low voice, the raspyness turning Alex on more and even enjoying that college had turned Marissa into quite the cursor in certain situations.
"No," Alex said clearly and with certainty into her neck.
"You've been fucking me all day, you won't now?" Marissa asked confused and in a near growl. To say she was annoyed was an understatement; which was evident when her nails racked on her girlfriend's bare back now that their shirts were removed seconds ago in a tornado of kisses, arms, and grasps.
"No," she said gently. "I'm going to make love to you. I know we've been fucking all day," she said knowingly but it came out softly. "I want this time to be different," she said as she moved closer to Marissa gently and delicately placed her lips on her own, memorizing every sensation. The girl beneath her let out a content groan and tilted her head, making a point for Alex to switch to her neck because she wanted to have her mouth free for a moment.
"I'm sorry I scratched your back," she said with all sincerity and care, feeling remorse that she likely drew lines of blood.
"Its fine," she said lovingly. "I'm sure it won't be the last time you do," Alex said into Marissa's collar bone that she was paying attention to. If Marissa thought Alex was being painfully slow in her actions before she was more than frustrated this time. But she still loved it, how in tune Alex was and how the subtlest cues were attended to. Although it was far slower than before it felt more intense for both of them.
Another hour later Marissa curled her body into Alex's and rested her head on the shorter girl's shoulder. It almost made her laugh that she wanted to be a cliché and have a cigarette right now as she swept her fingertips over the other girl's arm. It was so easy to drift off to sleep that she didn't fight it. Didn't worry about the possible nightmares as she let her eyes close.
Somehow when she woke up it was months later. Reality felt a lot like a dream. Her girlfriend was supportive and remained incredibly in tune. Their sex life didn't slow, it was still intense and sometimes they didn't make it to a bed but it all felt more intense. What felt surreal was Summer's business took off and was becoming very popular. They had even opened a shop downtown. Marissa could walk to the boutique after her classes her over, classes that she was starting to love and gave her an edge when it came to the modeling she had to do. She could argue to business side when photographers tried to be difficult.
What made her content, besides her girlfriend who had taken to whispering babe to her, something that made her shiver in appreciated was that she and Connor were closer. The little man had meals with her, went shopping together, getting groceries, running around parks, anything that the boy could think of. Alex had to even pull her aside to tell Marissa, "Who's the softie now? He's got you wrapped around his finger." The taller girl only smiled, not minding at all. Connor also loved Marissa. She insisted she stay the night as often as possible while they had their dinners together. Jodie surprisingly would come over with her girlfriend Luce and they'd all have meals together. It all felt overwhelming wonderful that Marissa was completely in a state of shock for a day when Summer informed her in a nervous and frantic, but prideful call that they had an interview with E news about their fashion line. Feeling Alex's arms around her was the only thing that kept her calm when Summer kept yelling into the phone.
A brief discussion followed with Alex after Summer told her the details where it would be and when, but the gist was how proud Alex was with all of her achievements-classes while modeling, having her own place, being independent. The conversation almost made the taller girl cry.
She kissed her goodbye when Marissa got in her car to meet Summer at the interview location. When they arrived backstage a professional as always did Marissa's makeup after the had changed into a dress Summer had specifically made and designed for the event. It was all a blur, still in shock Marissa nodded to the interviewer and Summer when she thought was appropriate and only looked at Summer more intently when she felt the smaller girl elbow her in the stomach. She knew her friend didn't mean to do it hard. The girl couldn't help that she had boney elbows but she brought her hand up as though she was resting it on her hip, but really rubbed her side.
"What do you think Marissa?" Summer asked her, trying to direct her attention. She glanced back over to the professional man who was young and interviewing them.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you," she said over the crowd.
"Being that you're a model and new to the scene do you get hit on or bothered by guys coming up to you?" He asked nicely.
"No, I'm busy with classes and pretty much being with my girlfriend and her kid, just typical day to day activities" she said honestly though with a breezy tone, not allowing anyone to make a big deal out of the fact that she was gay.
"Oh, good for you," he said back easily. "Planning on tying the knot with this girlfriend that you clearly seem serious about?" He asked, his tone not intrusive as he took in how her face glowed more.
"Mmm, I think that's up to a few variables," She said with a smile, not realizing she was being mysterious. "Mostly if her kid approves." She said with a larger smile, one that met her eyes.
"Oh, very nice." He said back, void of judgment, likely aware that the fashion industry was very gay friendly. Summer gave her hand a small, subtle squeeze, trying to show her support and that she was proud of Marissa for being so forthright.
The rest of the conversation went nicely, she mentally took a back seat and let her eyes wander the crowd. There were a few guys who were looking at her with more interest since she mentioned she was gay, which really didn't make any sense to her. But maybe it was as simple as they want what they can't have. Meanwhile Alex had her, something that made Marissa content and feel safe to the point that she let her guard down when it was often present with others. She couldn't wait to go back to Alex's place tonight and crawl into bed and let the anxiety of the night dissipate. In all likelihood her girlfriend would give her a massage, working the knots from her back that had been there for a week. She wasn't in the mood for sex, though they never seemed to cool off. Sometimes a look from Alex was all that set her off and then she had to physically express how much the new mother turned her on. However she loved the massages Alex would give her, there was never a push for anything more, it was just a way to help Marissa, though most of the time when the taller girl tried to give the former blonde a massage they ended up making out. One of the many tells that Alex had more control.
Suddenly Marissa was being thanked for her time and Summer was leading out. Luckily she recalled saying goodbye and common courtesy dialog but she let out a relieved sigh when she was back in her car. Not bothering to change into jeans and a nice shirt as she planned she just wanted to get home. Home-she thought. Okay, its not my home, but it feels like one of them-she considered further as she made her way back to Alex's since they agreed hours before she'd spend the night on account that it was a weekend.
Finally getting to the apartment, walking in quietly in case Connor was asleep, she put her purse down gently and looked around the open room. Focusing her eyes more to the soft lighting she was more than surprised to see Connor awake and standing in the middle of the room. Flipping on another light the room was brightened. Her eyes enlarged at seeing Connor looking adorable in a fancy tux.
"What're you doing up Con Man?" She said happily, sleep now the last thing on her mind as she bent down to his level, a knee placed on the ground. She knew it would be difficult to get back up in the dress in certain positions.
"I'm ready!" he said excitedly.
"What're you ready for?" Marissa asked curiously and let out a small laugh.
"Do you want to marry mom?" He asked casually as though it was the most obvious, everyday question that he asked everyone that walked through the door late at night. Marissa's jaw fell. Speechless. Her brain literally couldn't think of words. With the exception that she thought he was ridiculously adorable. "I think you shoooould," he sang in an excited voice.
"You do, huh?" She said, finding it easier to reply to his honest comments, seeing as how as a kid he had the luxury of not having a censor.
"Yeah, she's goofier with you and smiles more and lets me sleep in more and have more aunt Jodie. Eveeeen though she can only cook with a microwave." He said and yawned. Marissa couldn't stop herself, she laughed, whole heartedly, full on. She caught herself doing that more often in the past months and it never got old.
"Okay little man, time for bed," she said and she held out her hand which he gladly took. he routine like many of the other nights Marissa stayed over. Leading him down the hall, though they both knew where they were going she was stopped by Alex who was leaning against a wall. She gave a light smile and kissed the taller girl on the cheek after hungrily looking her over briefly. The flash was barely noticeable but Marissa saw it, reveled in it and enjoyed that she could read Alex. Watching the shorter girl bend and pick up Connor she let her hand drop only to take Alex's hand and give it a squeeze before the former blond turned and went into Connor's room to get him changed and in bed.
A few minutes later Alex came out, moving to shut his door but leaving it open a crack and moved to the living room to sit on the couch with Marissa. Gently taking a seat beside her she slowly picked up her hand and drew light circles into the model's wrist knowing it relaxed her. The unsaid tension wasn't heavy, but it was still there. Alex wasn't known for her patience but she was curious what Marissa was thinking. her face looked peaceful but she'd seen her flip from one to the next in seconds.
"So you watched the interview?" Marissa asked but already knew.
"I did." Alex said in a hum.
"And you basically had Connor ask me to marry you?" Marissa said opening her eyes and focused them on the older woman.
"Well he does have you wrapped around his finger so I figured..." she drifted off and smirked, kind of loving how the tension was going away and they were being their usual teasing selves.
"You should have asked," Marissa said in all seriousness. With that tone Alex back peddled and took back her previous thought that she they were being playful and gave an audible gulp. She never thought she'd be nervous. It felt like that's where they were going and where they'd end up. But maybe they were too young and it was too soon, even though it felt right. She'd wait years if Marissa wanted to. Or maybe they'd break up now because of the proposal...or lack of.
Marissa saw the panic flash in Alex's eyes and she expected it to go away, but she only saw it build and she felt guilty for putting it there. She picked up Alex's hand, entwined their fingers and gave a reassuring hold.
"Will you.." Alex said in a whisper, afraid her voice was going to crack. Marissa fought the desire to roll her eyes and beamed at her girlfriend, but the smile was lost on Alex who felt like she was having a mini panic attack from all the thoughts she should have considered and but didn't think of until now.
Marissa crashed her lips against her girlfriend's and pulled her in closer. "Yes," she mumbled against her lips. "Yes," she said louder and with more happiness evident in her voice. It took Alex a second to kiss back but when she did it was gentle and a beautiful surrendering as she pulled her fiancé into her and into her life.