Bringing Him Back
Rating: PG with a scene in the middle-ish that is clearly M17 and can be skipped should you so desire.
Genre: Modern AU, family
Warnings and pairings: Zutara, Sukka, language, a scene of sexuality
Summary: Zuko has a happy life but then tragedy strikes one evening and his memories of this life are gone. Katara does all she can to bring him back.
Notes: This was my entry into the LJ bigbang that we can finally post outside of LJ (so it's been sitting for a while now). A huge thanks to alexb49 for the help with all the medical stuff and giving it the kick in the pants it needed to get done. Also thanks to celerania for her initial look over and making me rethink where this thing needed to go.
OoOoO
It was a typical Saturday night at the Jasmine Dragon. It was the only club in this little town on the edge of the western Earth Kingdom that wasn't a complete dive, like that pub on the other side of town. Zuko's brother-in-law insisted that is was a perfectly acceptable place to get a beer or three and shoot some pool. Despite the dank atmosphere there, he had to admit they did have some killer hot wings that kept him coming back. . Zuko Sozinaka had taken over the establishment after his beloved uncle's death three years ago. Dressed in his usual Armani suit, black hair cut stylishly, face cleanly shaved except for the small goatee on his chin, he was the epitome of class and poise, a perfect representative of this club his uncle had built from a crappy hole in the wall tea shop to the hottest place in town over fifteen years ago. Zuko had been there since the beginning, getting paid to sweep floors and wash dishes as a teenager, then, when it added the bar, slung drinks while he went through college finally becoming manager after getting the business degree from the university. The night hours were horrific but being able to be there for his kids was a major bonus since their mom's work hours were hit and miss depending on staffing.
The music was pounding, the drinks were pouring, and the customers were all in good spirits. It was nights like this that Zuko appreciated. Letting the staff do their jobs, he walked the perimeter of the establishment making sure there were no troubles, schmoozing with the higher end clients and regulars, which was his least favorite part of the job, chatting with Smellerbee- the head bartender and sometimes assistant manager - and helping her out when there was a rush. He had noticed the group of women enter the club around 10pm, especially the dark-skinned brunette who, even with the plastic tiara and cheesy pink boa, was looking sexy as hell in that little black dress. Every time his eyes landed on them as they laughed and danced, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Not that he'd never seen drunk girls dancing before, but these ones amused him. The brunette's big blue eyes met his several times throughout the night and those body signals she kept throwing his way was one turn on after another. Watching her flick the straw with the tip of her tongue after sucking on it with those full lips was driving him especially wild. He kind of wished she would take off that stupid boa since it hindered his view of that gorgeous body of hers. It wasn't unusual for him to catch a few ladies' attentions while he was working but he always maintained propriety and never allowed himself to get mixed up with his customers, but that brunette was just too much for him. He had to have her.
He fingered his gold wedding band, grabbed his drink and another one for her, and headed her way before one of the dozen other guys he had noticed eyeballing her all night tried to get to her first. She was his and he wouldn't have it any other way.
OoOoO
It was anything but a normal Saturday night for Katara. Normally she worked days at the only hospital in the small town they lived in but they were horribly understaffed right now and she had been scheduled to work tonight. Thanks though to Song graciously switching shifts with her, she managed to get the night off after all. Sweeping the mascara brush over her lashes, she jumped nearly stabbing herself in the eye when she heard her son yell from downstairs as any nine-year-old boy would.
"Mom! It's almost nine!" Li cried out. "We have to go or Aunt Suki is gonna yell at us."
Shit, Katara thought, giving another quick swipe of mascara, a pass of her lip gloss, and then shoving her makeup back in the bag. She sprayed her favorite perfume once more on her wrists and neck, knowing it would be appreciated later. Checking herself out in the mirror she adjusted and readjusted her bra so she looked as "perky" as possible, smoothing out the dress over her front and back, then raced out of the master bathroom hopping on one foot towards the living room trying to hook the strap of a high heel around her ankle while putting in an earring. Her girlfriends were taking her out for drinks and dancing at the Jasmine Dragon to celebrate her 30th birthday. She had splurged and bought the dress, black, sleeveless, revealing, and totally not her usually look of hospital issue scrubs or the comfortably casual pieces from her favorite department store but it was a special occasion after all. Katara had to drop her kids off at her brother and sister-in-law's so Sokka could watch them while the girls went out since her husband, their father, was at work tonight. Between work and home, Katara rarely went out so tonight was doubly special.
She heard her son let out a low whistle and turned questioningly to him. "You look pretty Mom," he said brightly managing to look away from his Nintendo DS long enough to see her. Her daughter, Kiana, looked up too and repeated her brother's compliment, though not as enthusiastically. Even for being six, Kiana wasn't remotely interested in dress up or looking "pretty". Katara blamed the abundance of boys in their family for her daughter's lack of interest in all things girly. It was just one of her quirks that Katara had grown to accept.
"Thanks, sweeties," she smiled, sliding the second earring in while grabbing her purse and keys, "You guys ready to go?"
"Just waiting on you, Mom," Kiana said impatiently. For being siblings, the two were total opposites. Li the soft-spoken peacemaker and Kiana the outspoken troublemaker. The kids shut their games closed and bounded off the couch to grab their backpacks and head out to the blue minivan her husband had teased her for buying despite her insistence that it was a practical vehicle for their family. Before Katara had a chance to turn the vehicle off in her brother's driveway, the kids were already out and yelling up to their cousins that their Pokémon were going to kick their Pokémon's butts. Katara grabbed the backpacks and headed inside where her three nephews and her kids were already babbling on about some new level or whatever from the game. Suki was passing their 10-month-old daughter (their souvenir from their last family vacation, they joked) to Sokka.
"Bye Li. Bye Kiana!" Katara called out to wherever they had run off to, "Be good for Uncle Sokka!"
"We will, Mom. Bye!" she heard their voices call out from somewhere in the back of the house. She could hear a tone of irritation in their voices at her interruption. Katara could only laugh. She then turned to her sister-in-law who was kissing Sokka goodbye and giving final instructions in the well-being of all six kids now under his sole care.
Suki drove Katara, picking up the other girls on the way. Ty Lee wrapped Katara in the pink feather boa and put the plastic tiara on her head that Toph instantly teased her for. Once inside the club, the shots were ordered, toasted, and downed with another round quickly being downed as well. Feeling the flush of the alcohol and the heat of the dance floor, she danced with her girlfriends in a loud mass of female excitement. Ty Lee leaned over to her once or twice and pointed out tall, pale, and handsome. "Someone keeps checking you out," she giggled.
Katara blushed, chewing on the straw of her drink, suddenly unsure of herself as her eyes met his. He was certainly cute, black hair that just begged for her fingers to run through it, dark goatee on his chin, golden eyes that seemed to look right through her, broad shoulders really working that expensive suit he wore. She gave him a demure smile tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as best she could with that stupid tiara on her head and he nodded back at her giving his own sultry smile. She licked her lips and turned back to her friends.
Something about the way he looked at her sent chills up her spine in a most delicious way. Continuing to sip on her drink and chew on the straw, Katara watched him slide from the bar and head her way. Suki and the girls left her alone at the table sending back knowing glances and shameless teasing. She practically giggled as he approached, fingering her own wedding ring nervously.
"Excuse me, miss, but I couldn't help but notice your drink was getting low," his voice low smooth as if this line was routine. .
"Oh, how sweet of you. Are you one of the servers? I assumed a big strong guy like you would be one of the body guards," she brushed her fingers against his as she gingerly lifted the chocolate martini from his hand, taking a long sip from the glass.
"Only for you. Though I'd happily guard your body any day,," his voice a caress as he leaned forward so she could hear him better, practically groaning in desire when he got a good whiff of her perfume.
She laughed, setting the drink on the table and made a show of holding out her hand, "My name is Katara. It's nice to meet you."
Zuko lifted the hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles slow. "I'm Zuko. It's very nice to meet you. Would you like to dance?"
Katara lifted an eyebrow and bit her bottom lip, "I'd love to." Placing his hand on her lower back lightly, he guided her to the dance floor where they danced to the heavy beats of the bass of the electronica. It was sex on the dance floor, grinding and pumping against each other, moving together so perfectly to the beats as though their bodies had known each other for years. Several times he brushed his lips against her ear whispering in her ear getting a trace of her intoxicating perfume. She pressed her body tightly to his enjoying the hot hardness of it next to hers. After many long songs, Katara was feeling a flush of heat throughout her body, and not all of it coming from the dancing and the drinks. "It's really hot in here," she yelled over the music into his ear. He nodded in agreement, and placing a hand on her lower back led her to the front door of the club. Motioning to the bouncer, he let him know he was going outside. Longshot simply nodded and opened the door for the club owner and his beautiful companion.
Enjoying the silent cool night air, a nice contrast to the deafening heat inside, she was led to the man's black luxury SUV. His wife must have tormented him for buying the "monstrosity". Turning she leaned against the door and faced the devilishly handsome man who was staring possessively at her.
"You know if I had to watch one more guy ogle you I would have gone on a rampage." He leaned in resting a palm against the glass practically covering her body with his own.
She grabbed the front of his button-down shirt and pulled him in closer, tracing her fingers along his chest, "So you like the dress then?"
"Very much so," he answered sliding his hand over her body enjoying the feel of her curves beneath the material and leaned down to kiss her soft full lips, tasting vanilla and alcohol. "The kids are at your brother's right?"
"Yup. And now that I've got my husband all to myself we can celebrate my birthday as loudly as we want wherever we want," she teased, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.
"I think my wife needs a birthday spanking. You were pretty easy to get out the door you know," he clapped his hand over her butt and squeezed the flesh tightly, getting a hearty half giggle-moan.
"Well, I guess having a sexy guy buy me drinks does that," she wrapped her arms around his waist and begins kissing him deeply, hands running up his back, a little moan escaping when he sucked on her earlobe. His hands began wandering over her body, inching up the back of her dress to get to her silk covered ass.
"Remind me to fire him when I get back," he joked, breathing in her scent, enjoying the cute giggle that escaped soon followed by a heady purr when he toyed with the flesh just above the silk of her panties.
Their interlude was disrupted when they heard a rough voice behind them. "Excuse me. Do you have a couple bucks to spare?"
An aggravated growl was met with his ever generous wife mumbling for Zuko to help the poor man out. While she smoothed out her dress as inconspicuously as possible, he pulled out his wallet. Thumbing through the bills, he shoved a 10 in the direction of the ragged-looking man, "Here you go," eager to get rid of their interrupter.
There was a rustle of cloth beneath the man's dirty jacket, then a demand for more.
Zuko turned back to question the audacity of this stranger, anger creeping in. The gentle touch of his wife's hand on his arm was all that stopped Zuko from attacking this man that threatened them. He pulled back out his wallet thrusting the remaining bills to the man.
"Now your watch. Jewelry. Hers too," the robber bouncing from foot to foot in agitation, his gun aimed at the couple eyes darting back and forth for any signs of danger.
Zuko yanked off his watch fiercely biting back the urge to fight, Katara pulled off hers along with the diamond bracelet that she had gotten for Mother's Day last year, and then both of them pulled their wedding rings off, the precious ones they had scrimped and saved for in the meager early years of their marriage. It was only when the man pointed the gun at Katara and demanded her beloved mother's necklace that the couple stopped. She wrapped her hand around it protectively tears finally escaping her eyes, "No."
Zuko stepped between, blocking the man from his wife, "Look, buddy, you have more than enough there, just leave us be okay?"
"I want the fucking necklace." His spittle landed on Zuko as he reached beyond to grab the desired piece of jewelry from Katara's neck. Zuko instantly flung himself forward to prevent the retched man from touching his wife. A loud bang echoed in the parking lot, then another, then another, and time stopped as Zuko fell to the ground. The man staggered away confused by what just happened, mumbling something akin to he was sorry.
Katara's eyes widened in shock as Zuko's name rang out from her lips in panic. Then, just as quickly, fear was replaced by that ingrained need to respond to the emergency at hand beaten into her by years of training. She immediately went for his cell phone that had remained in his pants pocket to call for an ambulance. She gave the dispatcher the information they needed as she ripped his shirt open and pressed her hands to the holes in his chest trying desperately to stop the blood.
Zuko pushed against Katara, trying to rise to his feet oblivious to the bleeding, completely prepared to go attack the asshole that tried to attack his wife. With more strength than she thought she had she pulled him to the ground. "Sit," her words as firm as the hand that kept him down.
"Fine," his golden eyes glanced at her, his hand rested on top of hers, worried about her. She seemed like she was alright. "You okay?"
She nodded dumbly, straddling that line of years of medical knowhow and desperation not to lose her husband knowing full well that a gunshot could be fatal. "Yeah, how 'bout you?"
"I think I hurt."
"I know, sweetie. Help is on the way, okay, just hang on please." She already started to feel the tears escaping her eyes, just like the blood oozing past her fingers as she tried feebly to keep it from escaping his body. "So come here often?"
He looked up, struggling to focus on the worried face above him, "Are you using a pick up line on me?"
Katara couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe I am. Just trying to keep you focused and if it works, great."
He tried to laugh too but winced in pain and placed his hand over hers pressing into the wound. "Did you get hurt from the fall?"
"Because I must be an angel," she finished the cheesy pick up line she had heard more times than she could count. "If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" She pulled him closer to her, suddenly scared that he might not make it.
"Only if your feet are tired because you've been running through my mind all night." His words began slurring, his grip slackened, his eyelids fluttered.
"Zuko, stay with me okay? Zuko… Zuko!" He was fading. She pressed down harder, but the blood still kept seeping past her fingers. She suddenly felt helpless to save the man she loved beneath her. Out of the corner of her brain, she heard the sirens and knew help was on the way. "Zuko, don't leave me. Help's coming. I hear the sirens. Just hold out a bit longer."
He mumbled incoherently, "Met angel… yeah."
The ambulance skidded up to the parking lot as did the fire truck and the police cars, and the morbid crowds that always wanted to see the blood and gore began trickling out of the club. Katara recognized all the paramedics and quickly gave Zuko over to them to put on the stretcher and begin proper medical treatment on him. She tried to pass on what information she could, not able to take her eyes off her fallen husband as the paramedics went to work quickly. Standing amongst the crowd as police started the investigation into the attack, paramedics checked her over for injury however she was blind to all of it fearful she had just lost her husband. Her Zuko.
"Katara! Katara!" she heard from far away, blankly turning to the sound of her sister-in-law's voice as Suki tried to talk to the police, her co-workers, and Katara at the same time.
"Suki, I have to go. I need to go with him. Please watch the kids tonight. Don't tell them what happened, just- just that we'll be late picking them up."
Suki tried to protest against Katara driving but after all these years she knew there was no changing that woman's mind about anything. Handing Katara her purse and coat that Suki brought out with her, Katara fished out the spare set of keys to Zuko's SUV not caring about anything at this point other than getting to the hospital. Racing through town, wiping her eyes when they got too wet to see through, she finally managed to get there. Hastily parking, she rushed inside, and Song was the first to meet her.
"If you really wanted to come in tonight, you could have just said so," Song teased stopping Katara in the triage area of the emergency room. "How is he, Song?" Katara asked desperately scanning the area for any signs of Zuko.
Song frowned slightly, "He just got here. He's in the operating room now. Dr. Chang is working on him and you know she's a pro at gunshot wounds. He's gotten several units of blood so far. The doctors were saying he was lucky you were there otherwise he might have bled out."
Katara felt her knees give way and Song reached for her and held her close as Katara's sobs overwhelmed both of them. "It'll be okay, Katara. You saved his life you know."
"And he saved mine," she whispered.
After the initial assessment from the x-rays there were in fact two bullets inside him, the doctor's quickly ordered a CT. The scans showed the two bullets that entered missed every vital organ, but they discovered that one had nicked a secondary artery and that was what causing the bleeding. The surgical staff worked quickly repairing the tear leaving the bullets in place since it would have been more damaging to attempt to remove it. After almost two hours in surgery he was moved to the recovery unit. Dr. Chang spoke with Katara afterwards and explained that it appeared that he was in a coma after the anesthesia wore off. Despite Katara's background, the doctors still gave her the same guarded prognosis as they would any other patient's family member. It was still too early to tell, reassess in the morning, so on and so on.
Katara sat at his bedside holding his hand throughout the night and the following day. She watched as the ICU nurses came in at their routine intervals to check his vitals, inspect the web of art lines, ET tubes, and all the other necessary attachments that laced around his body as well as the incision dressing. More for her own peace of mind than anything else Katara would repeat their checks as soon as they were gone. The second night rolled into the second morning and Zuko was still unconscious with Katara clutching his hand tightly. Mid-afternoon Sokka swung by the hospital to check on his baby sister and his brother-in-law, who was one of his best friends, bearing the change of clothes Suki insisted he bring and a hazelnut latte. Sokka hated hospitals with a passion and seeing his brother-in-law hooked up to all those beeping machines and bags that went drip-drop surrounded by that smell of antiseptic cleaners made his stomach roll. Despite her protests of leaving Zuko's bedside he managed to pull Katara into the hallway. Katara was a shell, physically and mentally drained each moment of waiting for him, as she parroted back what the doctors had said to her until Sokka pulled her into a big bear hug. In the comfort of his arms, she sobbed until she had no more tears and was left hiccupping and wiping away whatever remained of the mascara she wore two nights ago. For some reason that mascara left behind on her hand made her panic over the children. Sokka quickly dismissed her concerns. "Honestly, they just think it's an ultra long sleepover. Besides Suki and I are more than happy to take care of them. So don't worry about them okay? "
She nodded meekly, "Thank you Sokka," she said starting to choke up again, "I don't know what I'd do without you."
He kissed her forehead and smiled his big goofy smile, "Hey, it's what big brothers do."
She huffed after a moment. "Speaking of, I called Zuko's sister." Sokka winced at the mention of her. He had only met his brother-in-law's family once at their wedding nearly ten years ago but from what Sokka understood of his family that it wasn't a happy one especially after Zuko's mother had passed away. Katara continued. She didn't even care. It was like, oh he almost died and he might live the rest of his life as a carrot but as long as I'm not inconvenienced it's no big deal. I mean what kind of person could just dismiss something like that. "
"What about his father?" Sokka asked.
Katara shook her head. "I left a couple messages on his voice mail. Other than that I haven't been able to get a hold of him."
Sokka shook his head, "Well screw 'em. At least he has you and the kids and us. Dad too. You just let me know if you need anything. Okay?"
Wiping away her tears again, she thanked him. "I better get back in there," she said with a nod towards Zuko's room. Sokka gave her one last squeeze and told her to call if anything came up.
It was going on the third day that Zuko was still in the coma. It was a good sign that he would have brief periods of consciousness that got longer at each waking. Katara was able to take a family leave of absence from work so she could stay with him, only leaving his side twice, once to go outside to call the kids to make sure they were doing alright, and the other to cry in the bathroom. It was early morning on the fourth day when his eyes fluttered open.
Zuko's whole body ached but more specifically his chest. There was something down his throat but he couldn't move to pull the intrusion from his body. Instead, he allowed sleep to overtake him again. Sleep was good. Several hours later he woke again to find the thing in his throat was now gone leaving soreness in its wake. He saw the woman staring up at him from the chair next to the bed. She had beautiful blue eyes that contrasted nicely with the dark tone of her skin. Her wavy brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He caught whiffs of her perfume, a light vanilla and rose that reminded him of someone.
"Hi," she whispered hopefully.
His throat was dry and a bit tender. His body hurt. "Hello?"
"How do you feel?"
"I don't know. Tired. A little sore. His eyes glanced along the room, disorientated and confused.
"You were in a coma for four days. I didn't think you were going to wake up. I haven't brought the kids yet but I haven't left your side," she brushed a strand of black hair away from his forehead, her gentle gaze caressing him in an odd way. He leaned away from her touch confused why she was touching him. She drew back her hand quickly at the motion, worry entering her eyes.
"What kids? Who are you?" His eyes began to droop, barely able to keep them open.
Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, gods!"
Katara had been kicked out of the room, told to go to the cafeteria, home even, anywhere that wasn't his room. She watched impatiently in the hallway as doctor after doctor went in and out of his room. Some she recognized, some she didn't. Given that she worked pediatrics that was to be expected. The working diagnosis was that due to severe hemorrhagic shock a clot had dislodged and had caused the coma. From there they were running scores of tests, scans, evaluations, and consults with specialists. After getting over the initial shock, she called Sokka letting him know what was going on. "We'll be right there," he answered. She paced the waiting room willing every doctor walking by to be the one with news that this was all a joke, Zuko was fine, and he could be out within the week. But no such luck. As soon as Sokka, Suki, and her dad spotted her, they all enveloped her letting her tears dampen their shirts finally settling into the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Hakoda had turned on the TV mindlessly flipping through the channels as if to distract them all finally settling on some sports game.
What felt like an eternity later, Dr. Yagota, a dear of a older doctor that Katara had met many times over the years, bonding over the stewed sea prunes that the café down the road served and having helped deliver her last four grandchildren, approached the family jotting some last minute notes in the chart. Normally she was all smiles, today it was all business. "Okay, so he's awake now. But before you go in there you need to know something." Katara's stomach clenched as hard as the hand that clutched her sister-in-law's and brother's. Pins and needles hardly covered what she was feeling right now. A swarm of possible conditions ran through her head. Brain damage from the stroke. Paralysis. Vegetative state.
"I got a consult from that new neuro fellow from Ba Sing Se. She's pretty sharp and she found something. Ordered a MRI" she continued, adjusting the reading glasses. "The stroke he had when we were working on him did some damage. Physically, he's fine. Postural reactions, reflexes- they're all normal so motor function's okay. No evidence of sensory loss and he's verbal too.
"But?" Sokka prodded, asking the question Katara was afraid of.
"But he's got some memory deficits. More recognition memory than anything else."
She let the words sink in while the doctor continued.
"He knows who he is and he understands he's in a hospital. But he doesn't remember ever being here before. Not to pick you up, or that Christmas party last year. Nothing." Dr. Yagota paused, taking a deep breath, "He doesn't remember you."
The world started spinning.
"Now, we don't know how permanent any of this is. Only time will tell." She goes on but Katara's only half listening. "It's going to be rough and I'll help you any way I can. There's a great neuropsychologist I can call in. He can give you a better idea of what we're dealing with."
In a mindless state, Katara nodded her head thanking the doctor, blinking away the tears that slowly ran down her cheeks.
"He doesn't remember you." the words echoed in her head. "He doesn't remember you…"
Katara shook her head a million thoughts racing through. She was a registered nurse. She had worked in the medical field for the past eleven years now. Over the years she had seen this with other people, other families, never in a million years thinking it would happen to hers. Oh, god! Family. The kids. How was she going to tell them? How were they going to react? And then there was the club? Who was going to run it? She'd have to call Smellerbee in the morning. Her brain started running a mile a minute, creating a mental check list of all the little things she would have to do. Perhaps it was her way of bypassing the big things that had just been presented to her.
Sokka felt his sister turn into herself and instantly wrapped his arms around Katara whispering soothing things in her ear that she didn't hear. . Her father, Hakoda, stood off to the side and listened, his heart breaking for his daughter and her family. Remembering his wife Kya when she got sick he asked the doctor if there were support groups, medications, what kind of resources were available
"Yeah, yeah," Dr. Yagota agreed, "I mean there are no medications unfortunately, but I can get a list of support groups in the area, a couple books and websites that might help. An occupational therapist would be a good idea too. They can work with Zuko to help with memory training. I'll get that information to you."
"Thanks, Doc," Hakoda said, watching his baby girl seem so helpless. He had prayed after everything he had gone through when his wife, his Kya, had gotten sick that his children would never have to go through that again. Maybe he hadn't prayed hard enough.
ooOooOooOoo
In a flurry of calls to find a therapist, making arrangements for Zuko's release, she was so focused that the police call two weeks after the accident seemed to be trivial. Apparently a local pawn shop reported that someone had tried hawking their stolen jewelry. This was the least of her worries but she went to the police department and was able to recover the items. Her finger had felt so naked without that familiar band around it and while she was thankful, she would rather have her husband healthy and home. Suki told her that the man who had robbed them was still at large but the police were still hunting for him especially with attempted murder added to the robbery charge. At the very mention of those two dreaded words, Katara broke down again. "We're doing our best, hon," Suki cooed patting her sister-in-law's hand. Katara knew this already. Suki always did.
ooOooOooOoo
Over the course of the next two months, Zuko physically recovered but his memory was sporadic at best. The oddest thing was that this woman kept visiting him. She called herself Katara. She seemed familiar other than for the life of him he couldn't place her. At least she was attractive enough to keep his attention. But that perfume she wore. It smelled so good and he remembered it from somewhere. Some happy place. During the days she brought trinkets and things that he might recall, told stories of their lives together and before their marriage. He could tell his lack of recollection was frustrating her just as it was frustrating him but she trudged on with helping him.
Stepping out of the room one morning to get a coffee at the stand downstairs Katara headed downstairs. Getting her favorite drink and chatting briefly with the lady who ran the stand she went back to Zuko's room. She was nearly to his room, turning the final corner nearly bumping into a group of well dressed people. Katara instantly began apologizing. Most of the people laughed it off but one did not. It was the eyes that got her. The same gold shaped orbs but where Zuko's were soft and caring, this man's was hard and critical. Ozai. Zuko's father. Dressed impeccably in his designer suit, Katara imagined the man before her was a preview of what Zuko was going to look like in thirty years. Tall, broad shouldered, black hair just starting to grey at the edges, the epitome of the money Zuko's family was born into and that discarded him at age 13 leaving him to fend for himself through the years. Despite having a substantial amount of wealth himself, Uncle insisted on living simply and making sure that Zuko appreciated the value of a dollar. Everything in life that Zuko had gotten, the nice vehicles, the house and all the things in it, he earned himself. He was the last person on earth she expected to see.
Katara could tell from the dress of the others he was he was touring the wing with the other financial donors. She had known that Zuko's family had donated money to the hospital. It had been a stipulation in his grandfather's will that the family would make yearly donations. She just hadn't thought it would be this wing they had help fund.
"Ozai!" she exclaimed, nearly dropping her drink.
He blinked several times trying to place the brunette before him until it finally clicked who she was. "Zuko's wife."
She bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying anything unpleasant, especially amongst these important people. "Did you get my messages?"
The group turned to Ozai eager to move on from the scene. He waved them off excusing himself to speak to this young lady. Once they were alone Ozai spoke. "Yes. All twenty-six of them."
"Well?" Katara demanded. She expected a reason why he hadn't called her back. A reason why he showed not the least bit of concern over his only son's welfare.
"Well what? He's alive yes? What do you want me to do about it? Is it money you need? Fine, how much?" he had reached into his breast pocket pulling out his wallet. He thumbed through the thick stack of bills waiting for her amount.
Katara clinched the fist that wasn't holding her coffee trying her hardest to fight the urge to punch the bastard. "We don't need your money. I want you to give a damn! He almost fucking died and you don't even care!"
Hearing the commotion in the hallway Zuko rose from his bed, slipping the thin hospital issue robe over the gown. Poking his head out of the doorway, he saw her arguing with a man. He may not have remembered her, but the moment he saw the man like a wave of pain images of yelling, the searing flesh along his face, the misery of being abandoned only to be taken home to his beloved uncle who raised him with all the love that his father was never able to show. Sweet Agni above he could remember all that. He sunk back into the room, terrorized again by that horrible, horrible man. The true terror was that the woman, the stranger, Katara, was out there fighting for him and he couldn't remember her to save his soul. Cupping his face in his hands, he tried to hold back the tears to no avail.
Katara returned to find him weeping. She hadn't realized that he had heard the exchange between her and his father. Questioning him he told her that he heard her, that he saw his father, and that he was so sorry. "You stuck up for me. Why?"
"I'm your wife. Of course I would stick up for you."
"I don't know you though."
"It doesn't matter. I know you and that's what counts."
After another long day at the hospital, Katara picked up the kids from school taking them out for ice cream. Li started asking about his dad.
"Well, he's getting better, everyday. Hopefully he'll come home soon."
Kiana finally blurted out asking if Daddy hated them.
"Why would you think that?" Katara gasped, nearly dropping her cone.
"Why else would he forget us?"
Katara didn't know how to answer that. Hell, she was trying to figure it out herself.
ooOooOooOoo
He was discharged on a Tuesday. Zuko was apprehensive about going home with this woman but the doctors had explained to both of them that being in familiar setting might assist in his recovery. Loading him into the family minivan, they drove in silence through the city, Zuko's eyes searching each building they passed.
"That place has great burgers," he recalled as they drove past the burger joint that they had gone to many times over the years of living here. Katara agreed with him and nodded and he smiled back for a brief moment then returned to staring out the window, trying to place the buildings. Some came back to him and that was a start. Winding their way down street after street, they came to the residential area with older homes lining the streets. It seemed like a pretty nice neighborhood. Katara pointed out the elementary school where the kids go to school.
Zuko whistles out softly when they pull up to their house. A beautiful two story craftsman style home with a two-car garage a boat parked on the side and a porch in the front. The lawn was a bit shaggy and there were several bushes that looked like they needed some tending, a huge oak tree stood in the far corner and Zuko noted a swing hanging from one of the branches. It was a nice family home and Zuko was surprised that it was his.
"I live here?" he asked incredulously, peering out the windshield.
"Yup. This is home," she turned the car off and pulled the key out of the ignition.
"Wow, are we rich or something?"
"Trust me. It didn't always look like this," she laughed, partially in memory of the single story run down house it had been when they first bought it, "It took four years of back breaking work and lots of financing to get it here. Of course the trust fund from your uncle helped."
They approached the porch where a lazy white and brown cat stretched from his spot on the little table, jumping down to paw at the front door.
"Is that supposed to be here?" Zuko asked, wrinkling his nose at the creature.
"Yeah, that's Momo. Li found him a couple years ago and he just became part of the family," she answered, giving the cat a scratch on the ears before opening the door where they were greeted by a huge white lump of a dog. Zuko shied away unsure of the beast who sniffed him for a moment happily wagging his tail then lumbered away. Katara set her keys and purse on the hall table, "That's Appa. He was Li's fifth birthday present. He picked him out at the shelter."
Katara led Zuko through their home hoping that something would spark in his memory. He vaguely recalled where his home office was. Other than that he felt like a stranger in a beautiful woman's house, half expecting this woman's husband to come barging in at any moment.
While still downstairs, she led him to the guest bedroom that was off the family room. It broke her heart that this was where he would be sleeping when in reality it should be upstairs in their bed. The doctors had told her this would be better since, for lack a better word, they were strangers. "Here's where you'll be. It might smell like old lady since my grandma is usually the only one who sleeps here." Zuko heard the sadness in her voice and felt strangely embarrassed by it.
The full size bed sat in the corner along with a table and chair and the walls were painted a pale robin egg blue. Katara had been right- it did smell like old lady. Like the perfume her grandmother wore and the lotion she used to keep her old skin soft. A thought occurred to him as he breathed the scent in. "She doesn't like me."
Katara paused for a brief moment lifting the blinds and opening the window to help air out the room, "No, she wasn't very fond of you at first. But she's old-fashioned like that."
"What does that mean?" he asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Just that you're Fire Nation and I'm Water Tribe. Surely you noticed I'm a bit darker than you."
"Oh," was all he said.
"Would you like to check out the rest of the house or do you want to eat? I can make sandwiches or whatever." The awkward tension could have been cut with a knife.
"No, a tour would be fine."
They headed upstairs, passing by the kids' rooms. Zuko noticed the boy's room was a cream color with an orange and blue stripes centered around the perimeter and skateboard motifs on the walls. Katara explained to him Li wanted the entire room orange, but Zuko had talked him out of it. This sounded familiar but Zuko wasn't sure if it was a real memory or something he was making up. "He used to like dinosaurs then when he was seven he decided he liked skateboards," explaining the décor of the room. The room was kept impeccably clean and Zuko wondered if Katara had cleaned it. "No, Li likes things neat. He's kind of like me in that way." They then approached Kiana's room, pale lilac walls with a mix of cute baby animal, teenage boys that Zuko assumed where rock stars or actors, and sports posters on the walls, trophies from martial arts tournaments lined a bookshelf, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. Katara joked that it was hard to imagine them being related. "She's like you." Entering the room, he touched one of the many first place trophies, reading his daughter's name and the event. He vaguely recalled driving three hours away, spending all day in an oven of a building until Kiana got her five minutes of fame. Again he couldn't place if it was a real memory or wishful thinking.
"Where are they, by the way?" he inquired as they walked past the wall of family photos not bothering to glance over to them.
"Right now they're in school. The bus drops them off around 4. So we've got some time before they'll be here."
She takes him to their bedroom and he sits on the bed bouncing slightly and running his hand over the floral contemporary comforter. His eyes scanned the room trying desperately to remember the. To him, they were just things in a room that belonged to another man and he was again intruding on that man's life.
From Zuko's blank expression, it was obvious to Katara that he didn't remember the day they went shopping for their king-sized bed set and when they tried to get the boxes in the room, they had busted off the hinge on the door so had to go to the home improvement store for a new one. It had been a long joke that normally you break the bed in the first night, but instead they broke the door. He didn't remember buying the glass dragon that sat on the dresser for Katara on their six month anniversary when they had gone to Ember Island. He didn't remember the clothes in the closet, the books on the nightstand, the paint on the walls and how exhausting it had been trying to finally decide on a color and accidently on purpose painting each other's bodies that led to a fun romp in the shower to get clean.
She grabbed some clothes from the closet and some from the dresser for him and together they headed back down to his new room.
Katara finished putting away his things, then showed him the bathroom across the hall, letting him know that she would bring his toiletries down later. "Are you hungry?"
Zuko shook his head and yawned. Katara smiled softly, "Why don't you take a nap and when you wake up we'll have lunch."
She turned and began closing the door behind her, hearing him say, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" she tilted her head.
"That I'm not who you think I am."
Tears sprang to her eyes and she bit her lip, "You are. We just have to give it some time."
"Dad!" two voices screamed from the doorway as backpacks were tossed aside and little feet skidded across the hard wood floors. Zuko jumped slightly at the loud noise nearly spilling his cup of tea and turned in time to be wrapped in strong little arms. He started to rebuff the hugs instead allowing them to envelope him instead. Having only heard their names it didn't register in his mind who they actually were. Not until he looked down into round blue-grey and narrow golden eyes. Those eyes! Those faces! He knew them. "Li! Kiana!" he whispered in disbelief, already feeling tears forming. Kneeling to their level he cupped each face to make sure this wasn't an illusion. Yup, these were his kids. The comfort of something familiar made his heart soar clinging to the children tightly, letting those happy tears fall.
"We missed you, Dad," Li said.
"Yeah, Dad," Kiana agreed, "Don't leave us again."
Katara watched the whole exchange. This was a good thing. No, it was a great thing. It was a step in the right direction. Granted she couldn't bite back that surge of jealousy wondering why he'd remember them and not her. Didn't he love her too? She shouldn't have been jealous. It's not like he purposely forgot her. He has a medical condition for La's sake and for that she felt guilty. "One thing at time, Katara," she told herself, "One thing at a time."
OooOooO
Katara was making dinner while the kids colored pictures at the dinner table. It had been a week since his return home and it had been an uneasy adjustment so far. They had worked out a system in which everything was written down on the calendar in the kitchen to help him at least with the day to day tasks. He had no problems with remembering when to take his pain meds, or what time the kids came home, or the other menial things. He had trouble reading but the kids helped him with that by spending nights stumbling and giggling over the Dr. Seuss books. The optimist in her saw this as a good sign plus it was good practice for the kids.
The biggest hurdle was the black hole of who he had been as a person and who they had been as a couple. For the kids it was hard to watch their parents not be affectionate with each other. No more random kisses or gooses to the backside, no dances in the kitchen while Mom cooked, no snuggling on the couch while they watched TV in the evenings. It was just plain weird seeing them stand so far apart, so emotionally distant despite being so physically close.
After helping Katara chop the vegetables for dinner, Zuko wipes his hands off on his jeans and asks to join them. He begins coloring and chatting with the kids who are more than enthusiastic to share their descriptions of their drawings. He then picks up a blue crayon and asks if he should draw the horse brown.
Kiana giggled, "That's blue, daddy."
He then grabbed a yellow, "Is this brown? I can't remember."
Li then started laughing, "That's yellow, Dad. You want brown."
Katara would have been concerned about yet another thing when she saw the twinkle in his eye and the slight smile at his lips. For a moment, it was like old times until he began to draw the horse and couldn't remember how to draw one. The kids being helpful as always, showed him by drawing horses of their own and it quickly came back.
OooOooO
Every Wednesday evening, dropping the kids off at Uncle Sokka's the couple attended the support group for victims of brain injuries. It was reassuring being around other people going through similar experiences. Compared to some of the people, Zuko was lucky in that he did have some memories of his past, even if they were sporadic. Of all the information shared in the meetings, the one thing they got out of it was to focus less on restoring the old memories and to work on building new ones. Treat each day as a new one. And that's exactly what they did. Katara joked lightly that it was kind of like dating all over again. Katara had read that a little under half of marriages failed after a brain injury but she was too stubborn to let that happen. They worked on becoming friends first, hanging out during the day while the kids were in school. He helped with chores around the house vacuuming, laundry and such, they'd go for walks around the neighborhood with Katara pointing out things like who one such neighbor was, which houses were their kids' friends. Zuko had to admit she was a very nice woman, very pretty too. She was very chatty though always having a story to tell. He really liked her laugh and her smile. More importantly she respectful of his boundaries, how far to push him and when to back off. It was like she just knew this about him. One afternoon on one of their walks, he learned that they had met in college at Sokka's house, marrying within months of first dating.
"That seems awfully soon," he admitted.
Katara laughed, "I guess so, but it seemed silly not to."
Once he felt ready to be on his own, Katara went back to work part time. She had been a nervous wreck the first week, calling him as often as she could but she found that he was doing fine. Sokka too had made it his mission to help out and would take him out for "man" time. While awkward at first, Zuko found himself liking this man as they spent more time together. It was nice to shoot pool and eat the hot wings, and just be able to be a guy as he should. A short time later he started managing the club again with the help of Smellerbee, so his nights were spent working trying to regain some normalcy in his life. He found that he didn't like it as much as he would have hoped. It was too loud and he wasn't comfortable with the looks he got from the female patrons.
OoOoO
Kiana's 7th birthday came around and they had a party in the backyard for her.
Zuko watched from the couch as Katara's grandmother entered their home. The children rushed to her and she began speaking in a language he didn't understand. He was surprised when the children would answer her in the same tongue along with their own.
The party gets underway and more children and parents arrive, along with Sokka, Suki, and their three kids. It's loud, and after some time Zuko sneaks inside and sits at the table. Kanna ambles up to him and sits next to him.
"You don't like the loud noises either?" she laughs, her thick accent almost difficult to understand.
"It gives me a headache," he answers. She nods and sips her tea.
"You doing okay?" she inquires after several awkward moments of silence.
Zuko simply shrugs, "I suppose. I mean my chest doesn't hurt any more but my memory still isn't good."
Zuko looks out and catches Katara looking at him as she is mopping up a mess from the table. She gives a bright smile and a little wave that he returns. Kana smiles knowingly. "You and Katara are good. Always you were good together. I didn't like you when I first met you. But I got to know and you're a good man. Good husband. Good father."
"Thanks. I just wish I could remember all that."
Her lips twitched downwards in a memory that she'd rather forget, "My husband, before he died, he couldn't remember many things. He forgot me, forgot his son, Katara's father. Forgot everything," she fluttered her fingers away from her temple, "Alzheimer's is what they said it was. There's no recovering from that. But you?" she placed her hand lightly on his and gave a gentle squeeze, "Maybe yes, maybe no. Who can say? Only time will tell. What matters, what's important, is you are still a good person and my Katara loves you, your kids love you. All you can do is take that with you and allow yourself to continue to grow. You are still here, still alive, just live."
Zuko stared at the wrinkled old woman for a moment grateful for her words. She smiled back at him, patted his arm and announced it was time for cake.
OoOoO
Life went on after nearly five months. Zuko remained a father to his kids and with them out of school for the summer they spent a lot of time together riding bikes or going for walks to the neighborhood park, the kids walloping him when they played the Wii, driving over to Sokka's for playtime for both the kids and the guys. However he still lacked being a husband to Katara. They had reestablished their friendship and that was a good start. He was amazed how someone like him had been lucky enough to land such a wonderful woman. That despite his memory loss, that she still wanted to be with him simply mystified him. Mustering up the courage to ask one afternoon though, he found Katara in their home office doing the household bills. He watched her for a moment in the doorway as she chewed on the end of a pen. It was very cute, slightly seductive from his standpoint, and his stomach tightened nervously in response. She finally sensed his presence and smiled up at him, "Hi."
"Hey. Um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go see a movie tomorrow."
"That sounds great. Did you ask the kids what movie they want to see?" she asked, barely looking up from the computer.
"No," he smiled bashfully, "Like just the two of us. I'd like to take you to a movie."
"Oh," her head jerked up, and she met Zuko's smile with her own, "I'd like that."
Little steps.
The kids teased their parents as they both got ready for their "first date". Katara debated between jeans or a skirt, heels or flats, should she wear her hair up or down. "It's just Dad," Kiana reminded her while she jumped on her parent's bed. It took her off guard but her daughter was right. Jean skirt, flats, and hair down, nothing fancy. Spritz of perfume for good measure.
"You look nice," Zuko breathed. He wouldn't admit out loud that she smelled better than she looked which was saying a lot because she looked wonderful. That perfume was comforting in his memories.
The movie was supposed to be a romantic comedy but the two spent more time laughing about the bad acting and cheesy lines than the parts that were supposed to be funny. "Remind me why we chose that movie?" he asked after as they left the theater. His hand rested on the small of her back, just like old times, as he guided her out the main doors. Katara's heart jumped at the touch. From the theater they headed to their favorite burger joint, enjoying the greasy food and thick milkshakes. The evening wore down and the couple headed home.
"I had a good time," Katara blushed despite herself at the front door
"So did I. I think this a good start," he nodded, taking her hand in his, liking the feel of it, and giving a gentle squeeze. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being so patient. I know this can't be easy on you and-," Zuko ran a hand through his hair unsure what to say so did the next best thing with a kiss to her lips. The kiss lingered longer than he intended. It felt too good not to with the way her face tilted up, her lips soft with a trace of the chocolate from the milkshake earlier. He cupped her face, gave one more kiss then another, and thanked her again. Once inside, the magic of the night lingered longer than both anticipated. Gentle touches came easier as days rolled on. Zuko allowed an embrace from her and the occasional kiss goodnight or good bye. It wasn't the intimacy they had before but it was a good start.
OoOooOooOoo
Putting the last dish in the dishwasher, wiping away the last crumb on the counter, Katara went to check on the kids for the night and found Zuko in the hallway between the kids' bedrooms staring at the wall of family photos: formal and school portraits, snapshots from vacations, birthdays, and life itself, pictures from their wedding, pictures from Katara's childhood and his. His eyes searched each one, praying that something would bring back his memories of their life before. He had gazed at these pictures each day since his arrival eight months ago and each time was like the last. It was another family he was looking at and he was the intruder. This time however when his eyes fell on the picture of the big bear of a man, with the huge grey beard and gentle gold eyes holding the two kids that something clicked in his head. He reached out and laid his finger on the man behind the glass frame.
"That's my uncle. Iroh," he softly remembered. Katara's eyes lit up and she began nodding enthusiastically. Then he saw the old picture of another family, a harsh looking man "My father Ozai," a gentle woman, "My mom, Ursa, she died, right?" Katara nodded again tears threatening to spill over her lids, "You were almost eleven. It came quickly and the doctors couldn't do anything to save her. Both our mom's died of the same thing."
The hopeful young boy "That's me. I was, maybe, nine? Ten?", and the girl who hid pain behind cruelty, "Azula, she was seven, here."
Memories of this family flooded him. The abusive father always telling him he was no good, worthless. His mother was able to hold back the man's rage until she wasn't there anymore to protect him. It was early evening, Zuko was in the kitchen making dinner for him and his sister, Dad came stumbling in reeking of the bar he had spent his day in when he should have been home taking care of his children. Apparently Zuko hadn't done the dishes right that day, or maybe because he had gotten a B+ on his math test rather than a perfect A, or maybe just because he existed at all, the bastard approached him, punched him in the stomach causing him to fall to the kitchen floor. Then the memory of pain of a hot fry pan against his face as his young flesh was seared in a moment of drunken anger. His fingers touched the scar that remained, suddenly able to feel that pain, smell that wretched stench, hear his own cries echoing in the living room of their home, hearing his sister in the hallway oddly whimpering in fear and laughing at once, thanking whatever gods that existed, if any at all, that it wasn't her their father took their abuse out on.
He remembered this. The horrors of the abuse, the chill of abandonment when his father didn't protest his uncle's request to have Zuko come live with him. He remembered all of this. Maybe that's why he remembered his own kids too. To know that being a father didn't mean being his father. There was a great comfort in that. Looking at the pictures of him smiling with those two happy little kids, their kids, solidified those memories. But the beautiful brunette, his wife that stood by his side right now trying just as hard to get him to remember as he was trying to remember, she wasn't there.
"I hate this," squeezing his eyes tightly and slinking to the floor, he brought his fists to his temples, "Why can't I remember? I mean it's all right here. I was obviously happy, but why can't I remember?"
Katara followed him to the ground, putting her hand lightly on his back and began rubbing his shoulders, "They say that the painful memories are easier to remember than the good ones. We'll get through this Zuko. You're in there. We're in there," she lightly tapped her forefinger against his temple, "We'll get there. I just know it. It just is going to take some time. And if not, well, it's like they say at those meetings, we just keep rolling on and build new memories."
"I think I need to lie down," he whispered. Katara nodded, and helped him up from the floor. As she began to lead him to the guest bedroom, he stopped. "Can I lay with you?" He wasn't bold enough to meet her gaze but he felt it. She let out a small breath and said "of course." She pulled his hand into her small one and led him to their room.
He glanced to where Katara stood, her pajamas hugged to her chest unsure if she should change here like normal or be modest and go to the bathroom. Seeing the uncertainty in his eyes, she chose the latter, closing the door behind her. As soon as it was closed, she slunk to the floor and cried into the flannel bottoms. He was here but he wasn't. Her husband, her love for the past ten years was physically right out in the other room, but mentally he was still somewhere else. They were the lucky ones though. Despite the changes in him, they still enjoyed each other's company and that was a rare feat according to a lot of research. She missed him so much and with each day that passed it got easier, yet harder. Katara was lonely for Zuko. She knew it would be a slow process and some days were easier than others. Spirits above though she wasn't sure how much more she could take.
She had never been a quitter before and she sure as hell wasn't going to start now. Him in that other room was a good start, another baby step to rebuilding them. She wiped away the tears and splashed cold water on her face, changing into the camisole and flannel bottoms with the penguins on them and entering their bedroom. Katara saw him sitting on the bed back towards her. He was shirtless and in pajama bottoms.
"I remembered where I kept these." He turned and the look of joy on his face was enough to make her cry. At this point, it was the little things that they celebrated.
They crawled into bed, her on the right, him on the left, maintaining a safe distance that Zuko closed after a time as he curled into her and laid his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and leaned her head against his. He lifted her left hand examining the diamond ring on her finger. He didn't remember buying it, but somehow, "I remember putting this on you. We were at a park or the beach. There was water, right?"
"Yeah, we were camping at a lake."
He bit his lip, "You cried."
Katara snickered a bit, "Well, I was happy. I'd been waiting forever for you to make it official."
Zuko swallowed roughly continuing to play with her fingers as if by tracing them everything would come back, "Were we?"
"Were we what?" she looked down as best she could at him.
"Happy? Did I make you happy? Was I good to you? "
Katara twisted and slipped from under him and lay on her side facing him so that she could look in his eyes. Gently placing a hand on his cheek, "Yes, Zuko. You were an excellent husband. You still make me happy. Like I said, this is just a hiccup and we'll get through it. We've been through tough before and came out of it alive."
Zuko smiled and bit his lip again after several moments, blushing slightly. "Was I a good lover?"
Katara giggled, and nodded, "Yes, very good. Why?"
"I like the way you smell," he blurted out, "Your perfume is very nice and it made me start thinking about something I saw on TV the other day of a couple and they were in bed and I think they were having sex and he kept saying how good she smelled and I was thinking about how good you smell and I was thinking, you know, I'm sure we did that, I mean we have two kids, we had to have, but that sex would be nice. To have. You know, together."
Lightly teasing, "Oh, so you remember sex but can't remember being in love. How typical of a guy!"
His face twitched in both humor and embarrassment. "Sorry."
Katara ran her finger over his lips and across the stubble on his jaw, "Don't be. So, are you asking to have sex with me?"
"No. Yeah. I don't know." He turned away suddenly angry at himself for being stupid and foolish and incompetent, but Katara pulled him back to her, just as she had before and was more than happy to keep on doing.
"Zuko, don't. Say what you need to say."
"I think you're very attractive and I'd love to make love to you." Seeing Katara shift, he stopped her before she could kiss him. "I don't want it to seem like it's just something physical. I like you. A lot. And I hope that you feel that same way about me. Not the old me, but me now."
He saw the tears well up in her eyes and it broke his heart. He mentally prepared himself for the trip back to his bedroom, instead feeling her hand stroking his cheek. "Zuko. I know you're not that same guy you were before and that we've had to start from scratch. As weird as this sound, it's been like dating you all over again. It hasn't been easy by any means but that we've managed to stay together and rebuild us together is a good thing. Push comes to shove though, you're still Zuko and you're my husband and I love you. "
Her lips caressed his and while he was shocked at the intensity, he couldn't deny how good it felt. He was unsure of himself and where her kisses were determined, his were tentative but slowly became firmer and he pressed her against his body. His hands began to roam over the tight camisole she wore and explored across her back stopping at the hem of her bottoms. Katara pulled away slightly breathless, "You can touch me. It's okay. As long as you feel comfortable. If you need to stop, stop, okay?"
Zuko shook his head, "Okay," and returned to the sweet softness of her lips. Those lips parted and her tongue licked out along his lips. It startled him at first, however intrigued by this sensation he allowed it to enter his mouth. His tongue met hers and began teasing and playing. He began to get dizzy from the sensations. Their tongues touching, her hands roaming over exposed skin up into his hair, his hands feeling the soft skin beneath the camisole, her firm butt under the cotton panties. He knew deep down he had done this before and he tried to pull from his brain where she liked to be touched and how, the memory was right fucking there, frustratingly just beyond his reach enough. He wanted this to be good, for both of them. He was hungry for this and he could tell from her whimpers and sighs that she was hungry for this too. He was just worried that he would disappoint her. That he wouldn't be like the guy he had seen in that movie the other day, the man she said he had been and the coiling heat in his belly dissipated before he could think twice.
Katara pulled back and stared at him, her breath ragged, the heat pooling between her thighs, "What's wrong?"
Zuko bowed his head and buried it into the crook of her neck. "I'm scared. I don't want to disappoint you."
She ran her hand comfortingly through his hair, "Do you want to stop?" He shook his head "no", and gently placing his hand back on her hip giving a firm squeeze of his fingers before returning her hand to caress his cheek with her fingers and then her lips, "You won't disappoint me and I promise we'll go slow and relearn all this together." Zuko sighed softly in appreciation for this woman in his arms. His memories of her were sporadic at best, but damn if she didn't try to make the best of everything, and he appreciated all her efforts to get her husband, him, back from the depths of his conscious.
The hint of facial hair tickled her sensitive lips as she placed kisses along his jaw and down his neck. His musky scent blended with the fragrance of the body wash he used, the warmth of his skin, the hardness of his body, the softness of his touches that, despite what his brain hid away, hadn't changed at all. It was hard for her to go slow, but she knew for his sake she needed to. Normally at this point, clothes would be all over the place and the pillows would be hiding her sounds of passion. Tonight however, was like their first night all over. Soft and slow. As she lay back on the bed she let his hands wonder across her clothed body and his eyes explore in the soft glow of the lamp on the nightstand. Cautiously he lifted the camisole and together they removed it from her body then slowly removed the flannel penguins from her legs leaving her bare except for the cotton panties. He sucked in his breath amazed at each dip and plane of her body that his pale fingers glided over.
"You are very beautiful," he observed, leaning down to kiss her lips again, resting his palm lightly on her hip. "Tell me if I'm doing this right."
Katara laughed tenderly, running her fingers through his hair, "If it feels natural, then you are doing it right." His mouth soon left her lips and he followed her advice and rather than force memories that wouldn't come, he would let instincts lead him. He took a long lick along her jaw line, nuzzling her throat where her beloved mother's necklace always hung, his hot mouth landing at her ear.
Caressing her cheek, kissing between every other word or so, "You are so wonderful. I'm truly a lucky man to have you."
She practically purred and cried at the same time. It had been so long since she had had this. He felt so right between her legs, his weight pleasant on top of her. His heat merging with hers, his fingers all over her skin, her fingers all over his. His lips slowly making their way across her bare skin like she was a delicacy being savored prior to being devoured. Dear sweet Gods, she wanted to be devoured tonight. To be so lost in this feeling that she wasn't sure if she could ever come back. His mouth made its way to her right breast tracing delicately around the areola then flicking his tongue across the nipple before suckling gently on the hardened flesh. Her whole body arched into his mouth silently willing him not to stop.
Not that he could have if he tried. He was saved by this woman in more ways than one and he planned to show her how much she meant to him through every kiss he placed upon her flesh. His hands traced down her sides, up her stomach, over her hips and across her thighs. He discovered the spots on her that made her either moan or giggle and he loved hearing both sounds equally. Zuko landed wet kisses along her stomach, her belly button across her upper thighs, moving seductively closer to her inner thighs. Toying with the elastic waist band of the panties, Katara didn't wait for him to ask; she hooked into the material and quickly tossed them haphazardly to the floor. She parted her thighs giving him ample invitation to her nearly bare mound. He sucked in his breath awed by the sight of her flesh. Part of him wanted to kiss her there; the other part was hesitant to do such a thing. Instead he ran his fingers over her folds watching them plump and dampen just for him. She savored the heat of his hand, the wetness of her body allowed his fingers to glide easily over her exploring, delving, and mapping her out until he just had to taste that scent that filled his nose. The scratch of the dark stubble against her thighs. One hand found her breast the other twined into his black hair guiding him by the roots to where she wanted him.
Her smooth mound was wet silk against his lips. Her heavenly musk going directly from his nose to his aching groin. He knew that smell, that taste, and it was heaven in his memories. His mouth traced along the outer lips, gently pushing his tongue between the folds to the tender pink flesh within, instincts taking over any self-doubt. He had to hold onto her tight when he traced her clit with his tongue. Her body lurched and a hearty moan escaped her lips. His tongue probed and explored, journeying from the opening of her body where he would shallowly thrust in his tongue to the swollen flesh of her clit. It was easy to distance themselves for the sensations, but when he looked up from between her legs, he found her staring down at him and it made the intimacy that much more real. Zuko gladly followed her verbal and non-verbal commands just as eager to give as she was to get. "Harder," "softer", "there," "use your fingers", "oh god! Right fucking there!" she hissed, arching into his mouth moving one way or the other depending on where exactly she needed to be licked, her hands moved from his hair to fist into the sheets, her legs writhing alongside his head as she came hard, mouth opened in a silent scream as her body was riding a shockwave of sensations, overly sensitive to every touch, every breath that landed against her skin.
Zuko slowed his ministrations tasting and licking her delicious fluids, bringing Katara back down from her orgasm, listening as her breath returned to a more normal pace. He slid up from her thighs, wiping his mouth off with his hand, kissing Katara fully on the mouth. She wrapped her arms and legs around him feeling the straining material of his pajamas between her legs.
"Oh, God, Zuko, I love you so much. I missed you," Katara began to cry still sensitive from his touches. Her kisses sweet against his lips.
Both gazed questioningly of to proceed or not before she spread her legs apart giving him more room and gently taking his length in her hand angling him to her opening. He bowed his head and slowly pressed into her. He let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding as she enveloped him fully. Her hands ran up and down his back finally settling on his shoulders as she rubbed his calf with her instep, letting out the quietest of moans and arching her back. He could feel the tight heat of her body, her legs sliding up to his waist opening further for him, her hips pushing up and against him prompting him to move as well.
He felt incredible inside her, but even more so surrounding her. The weight of his body pressing against her, lean hips gently rocking into her. Her words of encouragement along with her little mewls and pants as her body clenched around him, the gentle rubbing of her hands along his spine, it had been too long and it felt too good and before they could stop the rush, white lights exploded behind his eyes and the world crashed around them. As the afterglow faded to exhaustion, he buried his nose in her hair pulling her in closer to his chest and Katara almost didn't hear the whisper of "I love you." She nearly cried. While the sex had been nice, it was heaven just being in her husband's arms again.
OooOooO
The kids woke the following morning to find their parents making breakfast amidst a swarm of hugs and kisses and giggles. It was vaguely like before the accident. Initially they thought they would miss seeing them like that, but really it was gross. They made gagging noises and went off to the family room to watch cartoons trying to ignore their parents being all mushy and disgusting.
Later that afternoon, they drove over to Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki's for the last barbeque of the summer. Suki greeted them all with hugs and led them out to the backyard where the kids played in the pool and Sokka tended the grill.
Sokka held up his beer in greeting to his brother-in-law, poking at the meat over the flames. "Boy, you look happy."
Zuko smiled shyly, "I made love to my wife last night."
Sokka laughed and clapped him on the back in a show of masculine pride, "That's awesome. How was i- Wait a minute," brotherly pride kicking in slower than it should have. "Eww. That's my sister!"
Zuko raised his soda in a mock toast, "You asked," then pointed to the meat on the grill and began offering advice on how to make it better, eventually grabbing the tongs and nudging his way between Sokka and his beloved meat, "Here let me," getting a very indignant, "Hey!"
Plating the doctored up meat and vegetables, the adults sat at the table while the kids sat on the picnic blankets on the ground.
The only noise was the sound of happy mouths eating the delicious food, a couple "oh my gods this is so good."
"Wow, Sokka, what'd you do to this? It's divine!" Suki exclaimed, licking the juices from her fingers, after she finished her third piece of chicken.
"I didn't do anything. Fire Boy here took over my grill."
Everyone turned to Zuko with looks of shock. "But you can't even make boxed macaroni and cheese," Katara scrutinized.
Zuko looked down at his plate, suddenly insecure, "I watch a lot of Food Network since I don't really have anything else to do,"
Sokka lifted his drink, "To Zuko! Our invalid turned out to be a Grade A grill master!"
OooOooO
A year had passed since that fateful night. The attacker had still not been found but that was insignificant compared to Zuko being alive. It had been a struggle, a difficult road to say the least however as a strong family unit, all of them from Katara and the kids to his in-laws, they had worked together to help Zuko rebuild the life they now had. While old memories were hit and miss, Zuko wouldn't trade these new ones for anything. They were all grateful for each day and treated each one as a blessing.
Katara still worked part time at the hospital. Zuko had started volunteering there after the kids had started the new school year helping others with similar conditions to his. They had been invited to the annual Christmas party tonight and while Zuko was apprehensive about going Katara consoled him. "You'll be fine," Katara slid the second earring in place, "Besides if it gets too bad we can always leave."
The new high end restaurant's party room the hospital rented out was decorated beautifully, a band played softly in one corner, and the food was delicious. Zuko got a glass of wine for Katara and a soda for himself. Several of the nurses and the neurologist who had helped him those first few months came over to them commenting on how good he was looking and what a good patient he had been. It embarrassed him to no end, but he took it all in good stride. After dinner was served, he danced with his wife really enjoying how beautiful she looked tonight and whispering in her ear how lucky he was. A kiss thanked him for his sweet words.
The evening wore down and the obnoxiously funny group they hung out with throughout the night started trickling away leaving Zuko and Katara by themselves. Deciding it was time to head home too they went to get their coats. Heading to their car, Katara wrapped her arms around Zuko's waist teasing him seductively after having had one too many glasses of wine. Zuko was more than happy to be have her full attention giving her his. When he turned away from her smiling face to open the front door he saw him standing just before them.
When Katara glanced up to Zuko questioning why they stopped she followed Zuko's eyes. A moment of shock passed through both couples until his petite bleach blond arm candy spoke up. "Ozai, baby, who are they?"
"Why don't you go on ahead inside?" I'll meet you there." He smiled sultrily to the girl who looked like she was barely out of high school then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.
"Ozai," she started to whine, the sharp glance from his cruel gold eyes and a bark of "Go inside." quickly shut her up. "Okay, baby." Pulling the fur coat around herself tightly she ambled off as best she could in the too high heels leaving the three of them alone outside.
"How interesting," Ozai stated, rubbing his gloved hands together in the chill evening air. "You're alive after all I see."
Zuko growled in agreement. "Apparently."
"Like you care," Katara murmured. The tension was thick. Katara had to fight the urge to spew further hostilities at her asshole-in-law. From the firm grip at her elbow apparently Zuko had the same thoughts.
Ozai laughed cruelly, "I see you kept your wife. Though from what I recall with a mouth like hers I'm surprised you haven't curbed that."
Zuko had to grip Katara's arm warning her away from using that mouth. "You know you can say what you want to me, but you will not speak to my wife that way."
"Big words for a little man. I see your uncle never quite made a man out of you. Having to depend on a woman for back up."
Katara surged forward, tipsy happiness quickly escalating to fury and again Zuko stopped her. He caught her eyes and told her to go to the car. "Zuko?" He nodded nudging his head in the direction of the parking lot passing the keys to her. "Fine," she grumbled, ripping the keys from her husband's hand storming away from father and son.
Zuko sucked in his cheek unsure quite how to start this. He was angry. The man that haunted his dreams since he was 10 was right before him. It was probably his one chance to confront the past. An array of past offenses perpetrated from this man before him, from the first public humiliations when he wet the bed at age 5 to being abandoned in the hospital one year ago ran through his head. In that moment Zuko realized that these past offenses didn't matter anymore. The past was what it was and there was no changing it. The present and the future was what he had now and Katara and their kids were the ones who showed him that. He smiled despite himself, looking his father dead in the eye. "You know, for a long time, I wondered how it was that I could remember a bastard like you when I had the most wonderful woman in the world right there by my side helping me through this while you did nothing. In the hospital last year, I heard you and her fighting. For the life of me I couldn't get what I did wrong to make you hate me to the point where you didn't give two shits whether I lived or not. And you know what I realize now?" Ozai scowled at his son's diatribe. "All I had ever wanted was for you to love me and you wouldn't. But Katara does. My kids too and I love them. You made your choice. You're the one who's missing out on my life, not the other way around. You're the one who's missing out on two of the greatest grandkids you'll never know. You don't matter anymore. What matters most are my wife, my kids, and the life that they've helped me make. You? I feel sorry for you. You have all the money in the world and no one to share it with other than mindless drones and greedy whores. "
Seeing the flinch of recognition in his father, he knew he hit home. Zuko pushed past his father to his big black SUV where Katara waited for him impatiently.
"Well?" she wanted all the juicy details of what just happened, expecting a blow out. Instead, he cupped her face bringing his lips to hers.
"It doesn't matter. This is our life now and that past- my father- doesn't matter. He made his choice and I've made mine. As long as I have you and our kids, I don't need anything else."
Katara searched his eyes, wandering what had happened out there. He was right though.
She couldn't bring back the past. All they had was now and the future and each other. And that's all that they could ask for.
The End