The Wedding

"Dammit Jim, stop fidgeting or I'm gonna sedate you." Bones readjusted the dress uniform collar that Jim kept tugging out of line.

Kirk batted his hands away. "I'm not fidgeting and it's going to be a little hard to do this if I'm drugged. It's weird enough that they asked me to do it, but I doubt they want to be married by Captain Space Cowboy."

"You'll do fine, kid." Once the shock had worn off, Jim had thrown himself into preparing. For the last couple days he'd spent every spare moment rehearsing his lines like an actor before his first live performance. Bones couldn't recall him studying that much for most of his classes at the Academy. Of course, he wouldn't have to live with a good part of his security force being ticked at him if he'd blown a test there, not that he ever had anyway.

People were beginning to file into the ship's chapel and McCoy smiled when he caught sight of half of the coven. In his (completely unbiased) opinion, Jessy looked amazing in dress reds.

"Oh God, it's the Inquisition – save me Bones." Jim edged behind him, pretending to hide from the two people who had coached and quizzed him relentlessly to make sure he did this right.

Boyd's fiancé would be finishing his tour on the Aldrin in a few months and had already put in for a transfer to the Enterprise, so beyond her interest in the people getting married today, she had a vested interest in seeing her Captain do a good job of officiating at a wedding. Jessy, much to Len's relief, took her homeworld's view that a wedding was something to do just prior to having kids, but she was almost obsessively determined that everything be perfect for this one. It was pretty funny in a way since the couple themselves didn't seem nearly as worried as almost anyone else involved.

Bones glanced back at Sam, standing at the rear of the chapel with a vaguely amused expression as his Captain pretended to cower away from the two lieutenants who appeared to be in charge right now.

"Sorry, but you're on your own Jim. I'm going to go see how Sam's doing."

"Fine, abandon me in my time of need." Jim gave him a mock pout. "But you tell that devious old ma that whenever all this happy-rejoicing-together business is over there will be payback for this little shell game and especially for sending that picture of me with my mouth hanging open to Adm. Pike."

"Oh, Sam didn't send that picture," Bones grinned, bouncing slightly on his toes. "I did."

"You what?"

McCoy laughed. Jim was going to get whiplash from all the double-takes he'd done in the last few days, but considering how many times he'd hit Bones with things completely out of left field, revenge was sweet. "Well, you said Pike is always asking how you're settling into being Captain – I figured he'd want to know that his protégé was following in his footsteps."

"Dammit Bones, he nearly fell out of his chair laughing when I called to ask for advice on how to do a wedding." Jim widened his eyes moment and then snorted a laugh. "At least he warned me not to take my eyes off the Chief at the reception."

"Don't worry, Jim, the Chief won't prank you at the reception," Jessy gave him an evil grin. "It's the rest of us you have to watch out for."

"Especially if you muff this," Boyd added.

"Just keep remembering how much you wanted them to drop all that respectful formality," McCoy drawled, leaving Jim to his last minute inspection, and headed back toward Sam.

Giotto was standing a little stiffly, and seemed to be scanning the officers seated along the aisles to make sure everyone had remembered their saber for the sword arch, but otherwise looked pretty relaxed.

"Well, it's good to see at least one person at this shindig looking reasonably calm."

Sam shrugged. "The women are running things. All I have to do is show up and make it from here to the front of the chapel."

"You're disgusting – you know that, right?" McCoy teased. "You even look comfortable that damn dress uniform."

"The gold braid loosens up with wear," Sam smiled. "And I've played this role before."

"Yeah, I guess you have," McCoy chuckled. "But I'm a little jumpy just from all the stress radiating off everyone else getting ready."

"Relax, Doc. People get crazy about wanting the ceremony to be perfect, but it's basically just an 'outward sign' – although if you tell my uncle the priest, I will firmly deny that I ever said that." He glanced around the room. "Besides, we're well into Federation space, so there's not much chance of being interrupted by a red alert. As long as the Captain can manage to stick to the script, it should all go without a hitch."

"Oh, once Jim steps into the limelight the only thing we'll have to worry about is him pissing off a bride by stealing the show." McCoy smiled, watching Jim adjust the edge of his shirt almost the way Spock did when he didn't want to admit to being agitated. "That is, as long as he doesn't wear himself out with nerves before we get started. Where's the rest of the wedding party?"

"Brides are always late," Sam observed with a knowing smile.

"Brides are allowed to be late," Denise corrected, joining them. She grinned up at Sam. "You better get into position, 'Pop'."

Sam tipped at eyebrow at her. "Yes 'Mom'."

"Go." She pushed his arm lightly just as music signaled everybody to get ready.

Bones hurried to the front to take his place as best man and Jim flashed him a grin as he stepped up to the lectern, nerves predictably dissolving into excitement now that things were officially getting underway.

Carrie and Julia appeared at the door, immaculately attired in dress reds except for small bouquets and the white blossoms laced through their hair. Giotto smiled as they each took an arm. For today at least he'd decided to enjoy being 'Pop' in order to play father of the bride, or in this case, brides. McCoy smiled across at Jessy standing with the other bridesmaid and practically glowing with happiness at the scene. If they ever reached that stage, Len was going to make absolutely sure Sam was available to walk her down the aisle.

When they reached the front, Giotto drew their hands from his arms and put them together. Carrie and Julia grinned at each other and quickly leaned in to simultaneously kiss him on the cheeks. Bones swallowed a laugh and heard Jim chuckle at the way Sam's eyebrows rose. For once, the Chief had been caught by surprise. He glanced sternly from one to the other before breaking into a smile. "Carry on, ladies," he whispered before retreating to his seat.

Jim beamed at them from behind the lectern and then looked up at the assembled crowd. "Since the days of the first wooden vessels, all ship masters have had one happy privilege: that of uniting two people in the bonds of matrimony. And so now it is my honor to unite you Carina Anna Silvanus and you Julia Alvarez y Calderón together in marriage here in the sight of your friends and shipboard family.

"The other wonderful thing about doing this as a Captain is that unlike clergy, I don't have to come up with a sermon." Jim paused for a brief round of quiet laughter. "But I do have a couple things to say. First, you two, with a little help," he looked pointedly at Sam and Denise, "took me completely by surprise and any couple who can run a that sort of conspiracy that smoothly are obviously so in sync that they're perfect for each other. Second, looking back, I was a complete idiot not to have noticed. They say that love is friendship set to music and considering that I spent a whole evening watching you dance, I really should have seen it. But what can I say," He shrugged, flashing a smile. "You're both gorgeous, so I was clearly in denial."

Oh God, Jim was improvising. McCoy started to lift a warning eyebrow at him, but the brides laughed, so everyone else did too.

"Seriously," Jim continued. "Once I picked my jaw off the floor, I realized that I must have been blind not to see how you two just fit together." He looked up at the room. "And all of you are on notice that I'm not going to miss something like that again, so don't even try. Now, that said, Carrie and Julia have written their own vows so my part is almost done - for which I'm sure you're all thanking whatever deities have decided to be among us to bless this union. I know I am. So if someone will hand them the rings, I'll be quiet so they can exchange their vows."

The bridesmaids took the bouquets, while McCoy produced the rings and handed them to the couple with a fond smile. They slid them on each others fingers, saying in turn,

"With this ring, I take you to be my lawfully wedded spouse.
Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live.
I take you, with all your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and my strengths.
From this day forward, your people will be my people, your history will be my history, and I will stand together with you through whatever future may come.
I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."

Kirk raised his hands. "We have heard you promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the covenant you have made. My part in this meets Starfleet protocol, but the sincerity of what you have said and done here before your friends is what makes your marriage real. Still, because Rand and every other woman on this ship will never forgive me if I blow this, to make it regulation and legal, I now pronounce you married." He paused, grinning at them. "Go on, like you need my permission to kiss each other."

After a quick kiss, Carrie and Julia turned to face their cheering friends.

Lt. Cmdr. Jenkins, the Security second-in-command, stood and officers along the aisle came to attention. "Officers, draw swords," he called. The ring of drawn sabers sounded and an arch of gleaming steel formed along the aisle. With the wedding march playing, Carrie and Julia passed beneath the arch and then turned to salute their fellow officers. At "Officers, return swords" the sabers returned smoothly to scabbards, the final inches completed in unison with a single click, followed by applause from all.

As the crowd filed out to the reception in the ship's lounge, Kirk blew out a puff of breath and smiled. Bones clasped his friend on the shoulder as he stepped off the low podium. "Other than that bit of improvising, Jim, ya done good."

"The couple did request that it not be too solemn," Giotto observed, falling in beside them. "Nicely done, Captain."

"Thank you, Chief. So how did I stack up against Pike?"

Sam looked up thoughtfully. "Chris already had a few weddings under his belt by the time we asked, but since you haven't urged either newlywed to plaster the other with wedding cake, I'd say that so far you're ahead."

"Excellent," Jim flashed a sly smile. "Far enough ahead that you'd use me if you ever decide to get married again?"

"That would require another woman being foolish enough to marry me." He held up a hand before Kirk could reply. "I believe we've agreed that your matchmaking days are over, sir."

"Chief, what I said about a couple able to run that sort of conspiracy together -"

"Over. Sir." Giotto said firmly, eyebrows raised in a warning expression.

Jenkins approached and cleared his throat as they neared the lounge door. "Excuse me, Chief, but I've been instructed to escort you to the reception." Dan's mouth twitched, fighting a grin. "It seems no one wants to take any chances on you evading the required dances."

"I take it I can't deputize you and Phil?"

"The orders were very specific." Jenkins compressed his lips trying to maintain his 'arresting officer' facade. "Don't make call back up, sir."

"Very well," Sam replied with a resigned smile. "I'll go quietly."

Bones chuckled as Giotto went in ahead with Dan a half step behind. "Looks like Carrie and Julia are taking care of that payback for you, Jim."

"Yeah," Jim's mouth went a little sideways. "I still say he and Denise would have made a good couple. Their counterparts in that alternate universe were together, you know."

"That's not much of a case Jim. My counterpart in that twisted universe looked to be a complete sadist."

"See?" Jim flashed a mischievous grin. "There were a lot of similarities."

McCoy sucked his cheeks in, narrowing his eyes in mock-threat. "You want to see sadism, Jim...?"

"Hurry it up," Jessy waved them through the door. "You've got toasts to give."

"Okay, okay," Jim sighed. "I guess it's for the best anyway. If the Chief's out of the running, there's no one else who's going to be able to surprise me with a secret affair."

Bones exchanged a look with Jessy. Another sign of being in sync with someone was that you knew with a single look what they were thinking.

"If you say so, Jim." Len reached out and pulled her into a lovers' kiss that began to draw whistles and applause.

When he released her, Jim's mouth was gaping like a fish out of water. There were going to be some good pictures.

"About time!" Carrie yelled from the head table as Julia flashed a thumbs up and launched a bouquet at them.

Jessy laughed and dodged the bouquet, leaving it to hit Jim right in chest. He burst out laughing. "Dammit Hanlan, I should have known when you started using his catch phrases. And Bones..." He draped his hands over McCoy's shoulders and looked up, eyes sparkling with devilish delight as he paused to catch his breath before whispering "Now I know what I should have tried to get you to learn self-defense."

McCoy raised an eyebrow, but smiled. "Certainly woulda motivated me to throw you, Jim."

They laughed at each other for a long moment before Jim turned around to face the room. "Okay, anyone else out there want to surprise me? Because, so help me, this is your last chance." He paused, looking around. "Okay then, let's get this reception re-focused on the newlyweds."

.

On the other side of the room Sam tilted an eyebrow at Denise as he handed her a glass of champagne. She smiled softly. "It's Carrie and Julia's day."

"Yes." He touched his glass to hers. "And we've earned some privacy, although I'm going to miss betting you on what they were going to try next."

Denise looked up at him playfully. "Care to wager on how long it will take the Captain to figure out Cupcake and Nurse Davis?"

AN: This story ends here. I hope you've enjoyed it.

The only wedding shown in TOS had everyone in regular uniform, but in TNG it was dress uniforms, which is more in line with a real military wedding. The reference to an alternate universe was to my reboot of Mirror, Mirror.

Thank you to all who have read and especially all of you who have reviewed. Please continue.