A/N: Inspired by/based off a real texting conversation I had this afternoon. I... was Poland... the one texting from the shower. Oh well. MAJOR use of texting slang, if you can't understand it then don't bother reading. Just a short little silly crackfic. :) Title is random exasperated thought of Toris'. I was listening to "Love Save the Empty". I don't own anything, by the way.
THIS IS FELIKS TEXTING. THIS IS TORIS TEXTING. THIS IS LIFE BEYOND PHONES.

Love, Save Me

Toris Lorinaitis glanced at his cell phone, shaking his head slightly at the obnoxious ringtone Feliks had set. The Lithuanian picked up the device and was directed to the new message in his inbox.

Liet! Lyk, mjr prb!

Toris, used to these kinds of messages, calmly wrote out a response.

What is it this time, Feliks?

His reply came shortly afterwards.

OMG, i thnk i lyk, am crshng on ths gy!

The Lithuanian rolled his eyes. The unnecessary elimination of vowels was so like Feliks that it was comical.

Why don't you tell him?

Bcuz i dont NO!

Feliks, you've liked people before. Why don't you know now?

OMG, u lyk, txt weird!

Off subject.

Sry. I mean lyk, its ttly dif

How so?

Idk. Just is.

…alright. Well, why would you think that you DON'T like him?

Idk. OMG, my fones getting all wet!

What?

I haveta fnsh my shwr, but my fones gettin soaked!

WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME IN THE SHOWER?

Bcuz i need ur advice!

You could wait until AFTERWARDS.

But i dont wanna!

FELIKS!

Ow! I lyk, nicked my leg!

Don't hurt yourself.

OMG, its bleeding! Liet, im goin to die or sumthin!

Feliks, calm down.

I cant!

That's why you don't text while you're taking a shower.

It hrts! Mke it STOP!

Toris sighed deeply and shut his phone, opting to claim that it 'died'. He really needed to consider finding some new friends.