Don't call me cute!

Author's note: well, this will be a told in episodes, sort of. I, the author, am a character in it, sort of. That's about all. Also, please don't be offended if I steal your idea. Just tell me in a review. Also, these aren't intended to be hysterical. These are intended to at least amuse people.

Now, without further ado, let's go!

It was a normal day in Smash mansion.

Samus and Snake were training. Or rather, Samus was using Snake as her punching bag. The armored girl was quite difficult to hurt. After practice was over and Samus changed into her lighter Zero Suit, she became dimly aware of Bowser and Wario following her. Rolling her eyes, she shot them both with her plasma whip. They yelped and ran off.

Kirby was eating lunch with Toon Link, Young Link, Ness, and Lucas. They were happily having a hot dog eating contest. Of course, Kirby and Toon Link could smoke the others, Toon Link because he had the largest appetite of the children and Kirby because he could expand and retract at will. The others, however, were just glad to down hot dogs as fast as they could. Ah, to be a kid.

Marth and Ike were playing an unusually violent game of checkers. Marth would often throttle Ike when Ike received a king checker, while Ike would kick Marth whenever Marth captured a piece. Roy watched them with amusement. As Marth could, at this point, speak only Japanese, it was difficult to communicate with him.

And in the first lounge of the fifth communal building, all was comparatively peaceful.

On one couch, Link and Zelda sat next to one another with Pikachu in Zelda's lap. He'd bonded with her since coming here, so she'd happily adopted him as her pet when she had enough coins.

On the other couch sat Pit and Zelda12343, more commonly referred to as 'Zell.' After all, they couldn't call her Toon Zelda, though that's who she admittedly was. Pit had pressured Link into making them popcorn, and now he and Zell were gladly eating it as quickly as they could without displaying atrocious manners.

"I hate you, Mart—AAAAA!" came a scream from a nearby room followed by an angry stream of Japanese.

"Still playing that checkers game?" Link asked. He and Zelda had opted for the more adult lunch: soup.

"It appears so," Zell replied. Being the author of the story, who usually had special powers, Zell had expected that everyone would immediately treat her differently. Quite the contrary, to her delight. In the past week that she'd been at Smash mansion, Pit had become her best friend, Link had become her bodyguard, Pikachu had become here surrogate pet, and Zelda had become a sister figure. The four were never seen apart, except during brawls. And none of them cared that if they made her upset, she could make them regret it intensely.

"I hope Marth learns English soon," Pit took out another handful of popcorn. "It's becoming an issue."

"It sure is," agreed Zelda. Pikachu just nodded sleepily.

All of a sudden, Ganondorf entered.

"If you don't give me the popcorn and that cute yellow mouse right now I'll kill you all using warlock punch!" he proclaimed.

"You can't kill us," Pit replied. "Especially not Zell. If you kill her, you're dead as well."

"Whatever, it's just an—urgh!"

Just then, Ganondorf was electrocuted by the little yellow mouse.

"Don't. Call. Me. CUTE!" howled Pikachu. Ganondorf, as soon as he got to his feet, ran for his life, chased by a volt tacke. The others were so stunned, they didn't even move.

"Sorry about that," Pikachu smiled at them as soon as he returned. "Please pass some of that popcorn."

Zell, shaking, tossed him a handful.

All present made a mental note to never call Pikachu cute.