An adventure into the realms of pure crack. Part 4 of a billion.

A little something written for ma darling cosplay mate/bestest friend/waifu/Lithuania, Katokatsu! :3

Human names used. Squinty USUK, though it's mostly a "friendly" relationship.

Enjoitsu!

Alfred sat with his back to the rest of the room, causing hushed whispers to circulate around him. He pouted, arms crossed across his chest and ignored the stares and the occasional question as to whether or not he was okay.

"…ed."

How dare Arthur! How dare he! It was Alfred's first, it wasn't fair that Arthur took it away from him- sure, it was more likely that it was Mexico's first, but nobody gave a crap about Mexico unless it was encroaching on Alfred's territory.

Okay, probably not true, but really?

"…red."

A huff escaped the sunny blond who continued to ignore the chatter flowing around behind his back.

Alfred had learned to take care of what he had- learned to work with what he had at his fingers and how to make the best of what crops his land gave him. And even though a lot of people became bored with it, it was really Alfred's most favourite crop; certainly better than those tomatoes Antonio thought were so amazing and took back home with him to Romano.

"Alf…"

There was no way! It was so obvious that Arthur only did it to upset Alfred. With Arthur's taste in food, he obviously didn't want the crop for its amazing deliciousness. It's not like Arthur could make it properly, anyway.

"Bloody hell, Alfred! What are you doing?"

Alfred jumped from his seat, back still to everybody, and a hush fell over the nations present. He turned his body to Arthur, eyes wide in surprise.

"Oh hey, Arty." he spoke casually, signature grin plastered on his face. "Is something wrong?"

"You've been talking out loud." Arthur's eyes were narrowed, staring hard at the younger nation. "Cor Blimey, you sounded absolutely barmy, Alfred." he snapped, lips pressed into a tight, sarcastic smile. Alfred wasn't sure how a smile could be sarcastic, but oh Arthur managed. He always managed.

Alfred shook his head, "Oh, haha." he reached up, pushing his fingers through his hair, "What did I say?" A snarky laugh erupted from next to Ludwig where Gilbert was amusing himself with Gilbird.

Arthur opened his mouth to answer before he was cut off by aforementioned amused Gilbert- "You said that it was your first and 'Arthur' took it away from you."

A hint of blush rose to Arthur's cheeks before he willfully forced it down while Ludwig smacked his elder brother behind the head. "Nein. You said it was yours first and Arthur took it away from you."

"Aha, well it was." Alfred mumbled. The cheerful demeanor melting away into something more cold- something far more serious than most of the others had ever seen him. "You took it from me!" Alfred pointed at Arthur, finger a centimetre away from Arthur's nose.

"What the bloody hell are you going on about you twit?" Arthur's eyes crossed when he made an attempt to keep them on Alfred's finger. He took a step back, frowning.

"You don't even like it that much! You just wanted to take it from me, didn't you!" Alfred cried, pushing Arthur backwards.

"Alfred, what in the name of the Queen?" Arthur hissed, stumbling back and catching himself, "What bollocks are you spouting off, you moron?"

Tears seemed ready to pour from the ocean blue eyes of the world power, catching Arthur- and everybody else in the room- off guard.

Gilbert had fallen strangely silent, Feliciano wasn't even leaking the strange noises he usually made.

Every pair of eyes went wide and Arthur fell forward, smashing his head on the conference table in the hopes of giving himself a concussion and forgetting this stupidity when Alfred's next words were spoken.

"My corn! You stole my corn!"

A/N:: Alfred is serious about his corn. Goddamn, Katokatsu.