For the Race – Seeker Shenanigans.

A/N: Another variant of my story "For The Race, a bit of a crackfic, the idea of the Seekers reacting the way they do in this story suggested by Lady Threarah. As she said in a PM to me "-Warning! Chaos alert!" Also contains a dash of Sanjuno's 'Seekers having Sparkling-protection programming' idea.

For the Race – Seeker Shenanigans.

Nobody amongst the Decepticons had really thought very much about the usual content of the conversation in the Autobot medbay, relayed by a bug Skywarp had planted there, except for Skywarp. As it became obvious that the usual conversations overheard generally concerned the quality of Ratchet's energon, (always described as perfect) the quarterly inventory figures (dull in the extreme) and Ratchet's grousing (which could actually prove entertaining at times, Ratchet could be creative with his threats when torqued) the interest of other Decepticons in the received information dwindled rapidly until Skywarp was the only person regularly listening in.

Thus when a conversation between Sam, Mikaela, Bumblebee and Ratchet suddenly degenerated into cries of alarm, Skywarp was the only one listening in at the time. Although he could not at first work out what was going on, some intriguing comments from Ratchet made him sharpen his audio pickups, and divert a bit more of his processors to it. When the commotion died down, several senior Autobots turned up, and as Ratchet, Bumblebee and Mikaela described what they had seen and ideas were put forward, the situation became clear, and what Skywarp was hearing was suddenly upgraded in his thought processes from "intriguing" to "important."

It was a sign of the impact that the content of the conversation had had on Skywarp when, instead of comming the information to anyone he deemed needed to know, he instead came running out of his room, bursting into the main hub of the Decepticon control room, waving his arms around in agitation, and shouting to the room at large.

"They've got one! They've got one! I don't quite understand what happened, but they've got one!" the agitated Seeker cried.

"Who have got what?" Starscream asked, annoyed at his highly-strung wing brother's lack of understandable information. "Control yourself, and tell us something that makes sense!" Skywarp stopped long enough to blow a large amount of air through his vents before speaking again.

"The Autobots! That's who! The Autobots have got one! The Autobots have got a femme!"

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The Autobot Base, ten minutes earlier.

Ratchet, Optmus, Ironhide, and Bumblebee stood in a loose semi-circle around the berth, and Mikaela, in deference to her smaller size, was stood on the berth itself. All were looking at the slender sliver and blue twelve-foot tall Cybertronian femme lying on it deep in recharge, the individual who forty-five minutes earlier had been a seventeen year old, five foot seven inch tall human male called Sam Witwicky.

"You say that he began glowing and was obscured by light, and when it receded he looked like this?" Optimus asked Ratchet.

"Yes, and all my readings say that he is a perfectly normal Cybertronian femme. All her readings fall within Cybertronian femme norms, his – er, her – readings are pretty much average femme readings. However, her existence is anything but normal." Ratchet said.

"Do you have any ideas at all what happened to effect this change?" Optimus asked.

"Actually yes," Ratchet replied "for the moment I noticed him glowing, I activated my scanners. They registered a large amount of energy with which we are all familiar, as we have been looking for such energy traces since we left Cybertron. It was AllSpark energy, and I have a theory as to what may have happened, though no idea why."

"Please tell us your theory," Optimus asked, and Ratchet nodded, looked at everybody, and proceeded to explain.

"When Sam pushed the AllSpark into Megatron's chest, I believe that not all of its power was used to destroy Megatron. I believe that some of it went back into Sam, somehow lying dormant within him, until just now. As I said, I do not know why, but something must have triggered it, and for some reason it changed Sam into a femme."

"How did Sam react?" Optimus asked.

"He – I mean she – didn't, apart from a startled cry when he lit up," Ratchet explained. "When the glow faded she was lying on the floor as you see her, in recharge. We will have to explain what has happened when she wakes, and I have no idea how she'll take it."

"She's probably gonna freak," Mikaela observed. "I would in her position. May I suggest that when she does wake, you all stand back so she doesn't feel threatened?"

"Why might she feel threatened?" Bumblebee queried.

"Oh come on, you can't be that naive!" Mikaela cried. "She wakes up, female, finding herself surrounded by four mechs who by anybody's standards are severely sex-starved? I'd be scared myself."

"Forcing another individual, mech or femme, is one of the greatest taboos in Cybertronian culture. Sam has nothing to fear from us on that score." Ratchet said. "As for interfacing, we are hardly 'sex-starved', we have all had each other to rely on to satisfy any such needs."

Mikaela went a strange shade of red which Ratchet recognised as a human symptom of the emotion called 'embarassment.' "Okay, I really didn't need to know about that, but that's beside the point," she muttered, half to herself, ducking her head to hide the flush of her cheeks before jerking her head back up. "The point is, no matter how big a taboo you guys consider rape, Sam won't know that," she explained. "She'll wake up and feel threatened, so I advise you all to keep your distance."

Optimus inclined his head once in the manner that Mikaela had learned to recognise as assent, as Ironhide, Ratchet and Bumblebee looked from her to Sam to Optimus. As one they backed away, although Ironhide's optics returned to Sam and stayed there. "I suggest that we all try and get some recharge while we can," Ratchet advised. "Sam should not rouse for a joor or so, I can set an alarm for myself to rouse before she does."

Bumblebee and Optimus obediently headed out of the medbay, presumably headed for their own cabins, but neither Mikaela nor Ironhide moved. When Ratchet glared at Mikaela, she said "I can curl up here, I'm probably the only one of us here he won't be scared of." As Ratchet opened his mouth to object, she cut in with "I'll lie far enough away that he – um, she – won't roll on me, I have that much sense!" As that had been the concern he had been about to voice, he turned to glare at Ironhide instead.

"What's your excuse, Ironhide? As the second biggest mech on this Base, you can't suggest that you won't scare her!"

"I'll stand back, as Mikaela advised," Ironhide said, "but I will stand guard. She'll probably be okay for now, but the moment the Decepticons get wind of this – as they will one day, we can't keep her here for all of her life – she'll need a protector." He paused, then continued. "I was a Creator to four mechs who reached adulthood, and two who did not." His optics dimmed as he recalled the loss of the two sparklings Chromia and he had been raising when war broke out. "I never got to rear a femme, but perhaps I can take on the Creator's protective role for Sam, something his human Creators are unable to do."

"I guess it makes sense, okay, but if she rouses before I do, you com me immediately, wake Mikaela, and keep back!" Ratchet allowed. "I suppose we should be grateful that we'll have time to work out something to deal with the Decepticons before they find out."

None of them were aware that Skywarp's bug, unnoticed underneath Sam's berth, was recording all this faithfully, even as Skywarp was running out of his room to relay the news to his wing brothers.

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Decepticon Base, ten minutes later.

"A femme!" breathed Starscream almost reverently as Skywarp summed up what he had heard. The only other person in the room at that point was Soundwave, who did not seem affected by the news at all, merely turning back to his board after Skywarp's initial exclamation. "The human has become one of us, and a femme at that!" All the Seekers' optics were glowing brightly in anticipation.

"A femme can have sparklings," Thundercracker said, "Sparklings for us to look after, nurture, care for!"

The optics of the three Seekers briefly met, and the three regarded the excitement in each other's faces before Starscream said "But we know she's being guarded by that oaf, Ironhide. We'll never get near her if he has his way!"

"Then we need to formulate a plan, to bypass him and try to get to her." Skywarp said.

"Which means we'd better get planning," Thundercracker said.