This was inspired while working outside in late January, where the high was 10, the low was -10, and the wind speed was 30 mph. Ouch. Plus wind tunnels. I dislike wind tunnels to a large degree. Anyway, I thought of this song, started humming and changing things around, remembered one of my favorite parts of the Fellowship of the Ring, and here it is! A parody to get you through any chilly day, connected to some of our favorite characters ever, who have experienced it far worse than we have now or will. Especially the hobbits! Those poor, bare feet...
Disclaimer: The original song isn't mine, nor the tune. These words are, though, and suit the song so much better (in my humble opinion). ;-)
(to the tune of the Dollyrots's "My Best Friend's Hot")
My face is froze, my face is froze
No matter how I move, my face is –
We're moving across Caradhas
After it snowed
Now Saruman knows about us
Great, we are doomed
And as if things were not already bad enough…
(YEAH)
Now whose bright idea was this, was this, was this,
To plod along these cliffs, these cliffs, these cliffs?
We should've known better about Saruman watching us
(AND NOW)
My face is froze, my face is froze
No matter how I move, my face is froze!
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh
Fr-fro-fro-fro-fro-froze
And now my feet are froze!
The snow is hiding our path from us
Flying through the air
Coming in more and more bursts
Drifting ever higher
Saruman's spells I can hear but our curses he cannot
(DAMN)
Gandalf's trying to save us with his staff, his staff, his staff
More snow falls on us; we laugh, we laugh, we laugh
Now what is the point of a wizard who can't protect us…?
(Speaking of which)
My feet are froze, my feet are froze
No matter how I move, my feet are froze!
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh
Fr-fro-fro-fro-fro-froze,
Now my legs are
Fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze
Fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze
Should we leave here now
Or freeeeeeze?
Freeze! (Freeze) Freeze! (Freeze)
Freeze! (Freeze) Freeze! (Freeze)
Moria, you say?
Better that dwarvish place
Any more up here and we will freeze
C'mon, ready? Let's go!
Saruman can't reach us in there and thus we'll be safe
(BESIDES)
My legs are froze, my legs are froze
No matter how I move, my legs are froze!
My legs are froze, my legs are froze
No matter how I move, my legs are froze!
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh
Fr-fro-fro-fro-fro-froze
Of course my arms are
Fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze
Fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze, fr-fro-froze
Should we not go now
Should we not go now
To make it to Moria?