He couldn't think of a time he had ever seen her cry. Not once in the
fifteen years he had known her, never in the four since he had married her
had he seen her cry. Yet here she was now, sobbing into her pillow,
oblivious to the fact that he was standing in the doorway.
Chakotay closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He shouldn't have let her make him go back on duty. It was his ship dammit! Two years ago when Starfleet had finally talked her into letting them promote her to an Admiral, she had immediately made him a Captain, and pulled a few strings to give him command of Voyager. It was where she spent as much time as Starfleet would let her. After living here for seven years, she couldn't seem to let Voyager go.
None of their senior officers, aside from Tuvok, who spent most of his time on Vulcan with his wife T'pel, seemed to be able to remain planet-bound for very long. Harry was the first officer on the Rhode Island. Seven was serving on the Polynesia, which was currently on a deep space mission. Tom and B'Elanna were designing a new line of shuttles. According to the monthly transmissions they'd been receiving for the last eight years, Neelix had married Dexa and they still lived on the asteroid with Braxx. After a short stint at Starfleet Medical, the Doctor had returned to Voyager. He was the only other person Kathryn and Chakotay had told. Their son, Tirnel hadn't even known. It didn't matter now that she had lost the baby.
She was four months along. The Doctor had been sworn to secrecy until they could figure out how they wanted to tell the crew, both former and present. They still hadn't figured it out yet. They had only decided a week ago to name her Ana.
Chakotay cursed himself again for leaving her alone. Hell, he shouldn't have let her pull rank on him in sickbay. She told him she'd be fine. The Captain's Mask. If he hadn't been so distraught himself, he would have seen right through it.
"Oh, God, Kathryn!" he said, putting his arms around her. She fell into them and sobbed into his shoulder. "I am never letting you order me away from you again!" he said fiercely. "Everything's going to be okay." Even while he was trying to reassure her, they both knew things would never be the same again.
"Chakotay… I…" Kathryn tried to say.
"Don't punish yourself Kathryn! It wasn't your fault," he shushed her, somehow knowing already what she was trying to say.
She pulled far enough away from him to look into his eyes. She sobbed again and pulled him close to her. No matter what else happened, he proved to her time and time again that he'd always be there.
Chakotay closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He shouldn't have let her make him go back on duty. It was his ship dammit! Two years ago when Starfleet had finally talked her into letting them promote her to an Admiral, she had immediately made him a Captain, and pulled a few strings to give him command of Voyager. It was where she spent as much time as Starfleet would let her. After living here for seven years, she couldn't seem to let Voyager go.
None of their senior officers, aside from Tuvok, who spent most of his time on Vulcan with his wife T'pel, seemed to be able to remain planet-bound for very long. Harry was the first officer on the Rhode Island. Seven was serving on the Polynesia, which was currently on a deep space mission. Tom and B'Elanna were designing a new line of shuttles. According to the monthly transmissions they'd been receiving for the last eight years, Neelix had married Dexa and they still lived on the asteroid with Braxx. After a short stint at Starfleet Medical, the Doctor had returned to Voyager. He was the only other person Kathryn and Chakotay had told. Their son, Tirnel hadn't even known. It didn't matter now that she had lost the baby.
She was four months along. The Doctor had been sworn to secrecy until they could figure out how they wanted to tell the crew, both former and present. They still hadn't figured it out yet. They had only decided a week ago to name her Ana.
Chakotay cursed himself again for leaving her alone. Hell, he shouldn't have let her pull rank on him in sickbay. She told him she'd be fine. The Captain's Mask. If he hadn't been so distraught himself, he would have seen right through it.
"Oh, God, Kathryn!" he said, putting his arms around her. She fell into them and sobbed into his shoulder. "I am never letting you order me away from you again!" he said fiercely. "Everything's going to be okay." Even while he was trying to reassure her, they both knew things would never be the same again.
"Chakotay… I…" Kathryn tried to say.
"Don't punish yourself Kathryn! It wasn't your fault," he shushed her, somehow knowing already what she was trying to say.
She pulled far enough away from him to look into his eyes. She sobbed again and pulled him close to her. No matter what else happened, he proved to her time and time again that he'd always be there.