A/N: Whenever I watch or read something I find glaring opportunities for yaoi between the poor male characters. This fic was inspired by Toy Story 3. It's a twoshot, and dedicated to SasuNaruForever17, someone who shares my level of pervertedness. To be fair, Deline89 also seems to feel most fiction could do with more yaoi, but these are the only two people I've come across who match my corruption.

Well, then SasuNaruForever17, enjoy!

Beta: Blood Zephyr...but since she said she's uncomfortable with where this is heading, I will probably to the next chap myself.

Real For a Night

Bonnie was sleeping. Her small body made a rounded hill under her covers. Her toys crept past her bed, single file, on their way to her spacious closet. Mr. Pricklepants boosted Woody so that he could turn the knob. Once the door was open, they scurried inside, giggling and trying to hush the sound.

Buzz glowed in the dark, but there was a flashlight in a shoebox in the back corner of the closet. Hamm and Rex brought it over. One of them pressed the switch and warm yellow light shone around at the faces.

Bonnie had developed a recent obsession with the Disney Fairies, particularly the most famous one Tinkerbell. Today Bonnie's mother had bought Bonnie the Tinkerbell DVD and a Tinkerbell figurine. Tonight's little get together was to welcome the new addition to the household.

"All right," Woody shushed the excited whispers, standing on another shoe box. "Let's everyone just settle down and give Tink here a chance to introduce herself." Woody turned to the pretty little blonde and placed a hand on his chest. "I'm Woody. Let me be the first to welcome you to Bonnie's Room."

They all introduced themselves. Tink was busy hugging Peaty, one of the peas-in-a-pod, as she looked at all of them happily. "It's so nice to meet all of you! I, of course, am Tinkerbell." She gave a small curtsy, squeezing Peaty as she did so.

Rex stumped over to her, maneuvering so that he could sit next to her in the circle they formed. "Tell us about yourself, Tink… I can call you Tink, right?"

The little pixie giggled, making most of the males present sigh appreciably. "Of course. You all can."

She told them lots of amusing stories about her life, the other fairies, her adventures. They listened in awe, relishing this new toy among them, this opportunity for enrichment to their familiar lives. Tink was a good listener in turn, hearing about their exploits with wide-eyed excitement. She got along with everyone easily and was dead useful when it came to fixing anything in Bonnie's room.

The toys met every night in the closet, and every night was a new tale, more fun.

-oOo-

One night, after Buzz was relating to Tink's regret that her wings were incapable of real flight, the subject of her pixie dust came up.

"So this stuff let's you fly?" Buzz said, fingering the grains she sprinkled into his hand.

"In my movies and books it does," she said in her melodious voice. "I think it's like your laser, though. Doesn't work in real life."

Later, Buzz and Woody sat on Bonnie's windowsill, talking quietly. It was their nightly routine. All the other toys were asleep.

"Wonder if Andy's doing all right in college," Woody mused.

"I'm sure he is," Buzz said in his confident voice. "He's a smart kid."

"Yeah." Woody gazed up at the moon, still privately ashamed to be enjoying his new life with Bonnie more than he'd enjoyed the last few years with Andy.

Buzz was looking at Woody's profile. He understood his friend, though Woody probably didn't think so. He thought Buzz was still pretty much an idiot. "It's okay to like it here," he said softly now. "Andy would want us to be happy. It's why he told Bonnie to take good care of us."

Woody nodded, somehow not surprised to learn that Buzz knew him so well. He looked behind him to where Bonnie lay snoring. "What must it be like to be human? To have your life change over time?"

Buzz shrugged, turning to stare at a car as it moved quietly down the deserted street. "Probably like being a real toy, being able to do all those things I thought I could do."

Woody thought about this, then snorted a laugh. "You're impossible, Buzz. Being human is nothing like being a toy. Humans get to do things. Real things."

"Real toys do real things."

Woody shook his head. "That's just it, toys aren't real. I tell you what, though, if I were ever human, I would show you what real is."

They both paused, the statement sinking in. Buzz looked at Woody from the corner of his eye, an expression the cowboy had never seen on him before. Woody folded his arms, grumbling to himself about the stupidity of modern toys.

The next night, while they were all in the closet, they had a game of pretending they were all fairies in Pixie Hollow. Tink led them all in a merry escapade until Rex said he wanted some of the pixie dust. Tink sprinkled some on him, but then everyone else wanted some too. The fairy laughed, scrambling around the shoes and boots in the closet. "Catch me if you can, then you can have some!"

A furious chase ensued, wherein the dust was the prize. There was screaming laughter from all until Bullseye tripped Tinkerbell. The sack flew from her hands and Woody made a leap for it at the same moment that Buzz did.

They landed in a tangle of limbs and glittery pixie dust, tugging the sack back and forth between them.

"I had it first," Buzz shouted.

"No, I did! Let go, Buzz!"

Tink righted herself and laughed with the rest, pointing at the hilarious sight of Woody and Buzz fighting over pixie dust. Her laugh slowly died down as she saw that the dust was beginning to glow.

Others began noticing. "Uh, guys?" Hamm said nervously.

"You can never admit when you're wrong, can you Buzz? You're so stubborn," Woody said as he gave a yank on the sack.

Buzz yanked back. "Least I'm not some aged cowboy relic from the previous century, old-timer!"

"Guys, will you look at what's happening?" Slink moaned. The dust was starting to outshine the flashlight.

Woody bared his teeth. "Give it here!" Yank.

"No, you give it!" Yank, yank.

"Guys," everyone shouted, but it was too late. The sack tore and the dust flew everywhere, coating Woody and Buzz liberally. That was bad, but not as bad as the fact that both Woody and Buzz were starting to rise into the air. There was a collective gasp from the watching cluster of toys. Tink had her hands over her mouth, eyes wide.

Woody froze as he saw a coat sleeve sail past his head. He looked down… then grabbed frantically onto Buzz. "Oh my god, Buzz! We're flying!"

Buzz looked around. He grinned, then threw his fist into the air. "To infinity… and beyo-"

The pixie dust surrounding Buzz and Woody seemed to ignite. It surrounded them in a blinding halo of light, cutting off Buzz's catchphrase as everyone shielded their eyes. There was brief silence, then a dull roar as the light grew even brighter, heating the interior of the closet unbearably for a few breathless moments. The light winked out as two loud thumps that shook the entire closet had the toys scrambling around in fright. The flashlight was kicked by someone and went out.

Darkness.

-oOo-

Some time passed before Buttercup could be heard whispering. "Is everyone all right?"

Trixie's voice was a whimper. "I think so. Ooh, someone get the flashlight, I don't like this darkness!"

"Woody?" Slink called. "Buzz? Y'all okay?"

Some huge thing shuffled in the dark closet. Hamm and Mr. Potato Head could be heard arguing, but then the flashlight was clicked on and everyone was staring at four large shoes that hadn't been in Bonnie's closet before.

Mr. Potato Head and Hamm had the flashlight gripped between them, their fight over it forgotten. They angled the light now at those foreign, yet familiar shoes, moving the beam slowly upward.

The shoes were actually boots. Two pairs, one white, the other the dusty brown common to well-worn leather. The light revealed sturdy legs in both pairs of boots, knees, thighs, torsos-

A hand shielded a face beneath a brown leather hat. The face winced. "Save that light, will you?" The voice was loud in the confines of the closet, though it had been pitched low.

Rex screamed and pointed. "Woody and Buzz have been turned into monsters! Run for your lives!" And he attempted to do just that, Trixie hot on his tail.

"No," Tink whispered behind her hands. "They've been turned human!"

That got everyone's attention. Buzz, who'd been in the process of gritting his teeth against a bout of dizziness, straightened from where he'd been holding up the wall. He stared down at the terrified faces of the tiny dolls. "Huh? Wha-what do you mean human?" He gasped, taking in the size of his friends anew. He slowly raised his gloved hands to his face.

Woody was alternating between looking Buzz up and down and looking down at the toys. "No." His hand flew to his face, feeling warm skin instead of hard wood. "What the hell?"

"The pixie dust," the tiny fairy moaned in dismay. "You must have wished on the pixie dust and activated it!"

Buzz tried to take a step and nearly crushed several of his friends. They ran out of the way of his heavy boots. "Now just a second here-"

"Shhhh!" Dolly hissed.

They were all quiet as Bonnie could be heard murmuring in her sleep. Buzz continued in a whisper. "I didn't wish on anything! I thought you said that stuff doesn't work?"

"Well, it never has before," Tink cried.

"Ah, how would you know?" Hamm said forcefully. "You're fresh from the store shelves, who would you have tried it on?"

The others agreed in murmuring whispers that Hamm had a point. Tinkerbell wrung her hands in distress.

Woody and Buzz sized each other up, taking in this concept slowly. "What do we do now?" Woody asked.

"And how long will it last?" Chuckles added. "I doubt Bonnie or her mother are going to ignore two large men in the house."

Woody frowned. "He's right."

"It will probably only last until the morning," Tink said. It was 9:30 now.

Buzz moved carefully towards the closet door and opened it. Bonnie was scratching her hair, but still sleeping. "Woody and I need to get out of the house until this wears off," he hissed.

As usual, Buzz was taking control of the situation. Woody's lips thinned, but he couldn't disagree with the obvious. He took a step and bit back a curse as his spurs jangled. The cracked door let in a modicum of light. Someone switched the flashlight off. Tiny sounds revealed the other toys scurrying through the crack in the door, on their way back to the toy box.

That was it? Woody thought. They were just going to leave him and Buzz to their own devices? But then he heard the reason for their running: Bonnie's mother was coming up the stairs in the hall… and Wednesday nights she always did laundry, which meant she'd be coming to the closet to hang up Bonnie's clean clothes.

Woody thumped Buzz hard on the shoulder. He doubted the man felt the blow through his spacesuit. "We need to move or we'll be discovered!"

Buzz nodded. They slipped out of the closet, but had no time to escape. The door to Bonnie's room was opening.

-oOo-

Jessie watched in terror as Bonnie's mother entered the room, a basket of clothes balanced on her hip. Light from the hall flooded the room as she made her way to her daughter's bed… under which Woody was now flattened. She leaned down and kissed Bonnie's cheek, making the girl murmur. A sock fell off the pile of clothes in the laundry, landing right near Woody's face. Bonnie's mother leaned down to pick it up. Rex, watching from beneath the lid of the toy box with everyone else, let out a tiny moan of hysteria.

Buzz had slipped back into the closet. He dashed out now while Bonnie's mother was bent over. Though his boots made no sound, his shadow cast a brief, wild flicker across the room as he passed into the hall light. Bonnie's mother gasped and straightened up to look behind her. Woody took the opportunity to move the sock farther away from the bed. The toys all held their breath, shivering in fear as this drama played out before their eyes.

Bonnie's mother set the laundry basket down and cautiously crept to the hallway. She looked left and right. "H-hello?"

Hearing nothing, she quickly gathered the laundry, and the sock, and put it away. She left Bonnie's room a few minutes later and shut the door behind her. The toys breathed ragged sighs of relief.

-oOo-

Woody eased out from under Bonnie's bed and stood in the room. The toys watched him as he appeared to be listening to see if Bonnie's mother was returning.

He couldn't have been more out of place. His clothing was dark and masculine in the light, girlish confines of Bonnie's room. He was rough, exuding strength and danger while everything around him was soft and delicate. He looked nothing like the toy he'd been. He was still lean, still wearing the clothes he'd had on, but now everything about him was changed somehow.

His clothes were worn and faded, as if he spent a lot of time in them. Dust coated his boots as if he'd just come from the trail, and his hat had seen many a merciless sun-baked day. Perhaps the biggest change was his face. It was no longer oversized compared to the rest of him. The eyes weren't large, guileless orbs of good cheer, but squinted. As if Woody had spent a lot of time riding outdoors. His skin was tanned a bit, also lending to the outdoor theory. The high energy and readiness for fun Woody was known for was gone, replaced by the watchful care one associated with a lifelong cowboy.

Woody heard nothing and walked toward the door slowly, his spurs making small jingling sounds on the carpet. He opened the door, paused as he checked the hall, and slipped out of Bonnie's room. The toys looked at each other in apprehension and closed the lid to the toy box.

There was the sound of the T.V. on down in the living room, but no other sound. Woody tried to think where Buzz could have gone as he eased down the hallway towards the stairs. A faint noise behind him had Woody turning quickly to find Buzz exiting the upstairs bathroom.

Down the stairs they went, Woody in the lead. He had a hand behind him to caution Buzz to stealth, and Buzz had a hand on his shoulder. They took the treads one at a time. The back of the couch was visible as they passed the living room. Bonnie's mother was sitting on it, folding laundry as she watched some old movie. Woody and Buzz hastily made their way to the kitchen, and from there outside to the backyard, holding their breath the entire time. Woody even went on tip toe to avoid his spurs hitting the floor. Once the door was shut behind them, they ran for the tool shed.

-oOo-

"Whew," Buzz gusted once they were safe. The tool shed doubled as a garage, though the car was in the driveway tonight. He leaned against the door as Woody locked it. "Made it."

Woody finished shooting the deadbolt home and turned to face Buzz. He held off what he was going to say as he really took in the changes in him for the first time.

Buzz was short, probably five seven or eight, but heavily built. He was muscular even through the space suit, with a strong face and aggressive eyes that shied from nothing. There was a caged bear quality to his movements, as if he had to consciously restrain himself from moving too fast or too suddenly: Buzz vibrated with suppressed power. He was hyper while trying not to show it.

There was a naked incandescent bulb currently lit in the tool shed. No windows or any other way that someone could see in from outside. Gardening tools lined one wall neatly. Flowerpots, bags of soil, fertilizer and plant food sat along the base of another wall. A lawnmower and weed whacker sat in a corner. The rest of the concrete floor was bare. There was a long wooden table that had seeds and a watering can on it.

Buzz suddenly laughed, clapped a hand over his mouth, then stopped and frowned just as suddenly. "We're in trouble aren't we," he said behind his hand. He turned to look at Woody.

Woody struck him as being at ease; he was leaning back against the shed door, arms and legs crossed, staring placidly from beneath the brim of his hat. Buzz didn't know how he could be so still in the face of their new humanity. He himself felt jumpy. He reached to scratch an itch between his shoulder blades and found that his suit was in the way. He stripped off his gloves, intent on getting his suit off and finding out just what, if anything, he was wearing underneath.

Well, that's interesting, Woody thought. He'd always figured astronauts wore several layers of various materials under their suits, but all Buzz had on was a purple one-piece nylon skin suit that was attached to that hood on his head. The suit was zipped up the front. Buzz peeled the hood off his head with a cry of surprise at how tight it was. An incredibly thick pelt of dark blonde hair the color of ancient gold sprang free. A shock of it fell over Buzz's brow, obscuring one eye as he unzipped the suit and shucked it down his hips. Woody only had eyes for the hair. He unfolded his body from the door and walked slowly over to Buzz.

"You have hair," he said wonderingly. He reached a hand toward the springy stuff.

"So do you," Buzz said sarcastically. He glanced at Woody's short hair, surprised to see a few gray strands near the temples.

The act of touching Buzz's hair had them both going still. It hit them again, the fact that they were real. They looked at each other, really staring into each other's eyes, as stimuli previously foreign to their existence flooded their new senses.

They could smell. The air inside the shed was rich with the scent of soil and fertilizer. A faint whiff of gasoline from the car that was usually parked there could also be detected. The smell coming from each man was heady with sweat and other male aromas.

They could feel. Tiny hairs on their skin stood up at the coolness of the night air and the heat coming from each other. They had organs now. Their hearts picked up pace, beating with alien strength in their bodies. Blood rushed through veins, and their lungs expanded, taking in oxygen as their stares seemed to make that ability difficult.

Woody still had a hand in Buzz's hair. The feel of it was very different from the horsehair and yarn he was accustomed to feeling on dolls. Buzz's hair was softer, luxuriant, almost alive in its texture. A hand to his own head revealed his hair to be rather coarse in comparison and slightly prickly.

A thought intruded on his physical awareness: The toy he was used to seeing and doing everything with was different. Buzz was loud and impulsive and dense about many things. Woody loved him because he was loyal, a good friend. He'd never abandon Buzz and Buzz would never abandon him. They were in it till the end.

But just as his body and clothes were now bigger and real, so was his innocent love of a fellow toy. The emotion he was used to feeling for Buzz was gone, replaced with something that tore at his insides and made his body heat up considerably. There were urges, an unspeakable need mixed in his love. His hand tightened in Buzz's hair and Woody abruptly realized that his long-time friend was standing there with his nylon suit down around his ankles and nothing on beneath.