Chapter 13

It was the 31st of December. The eve of a new year, the dawn of a brand new start, and a cause for celebration. It was a day and night sure to be jam-packed with parties and fireworks and just all around merriment.

And it just so happened that on that particular festive afternoon, I found myself in the local grocery store with Zexion and Demyx, loading up on supplies that we were going to need for our New Years Eve blowout. And, of course, by supplies I mean every single type of junk food available on God's green earth or at least on aisle thirteen. And said blowout was actually going to be more along the lines of the three of us sitting in mine and Zexion's living room playing Mario Kart and shoving our faces full of snickers bars and tootsie rolls until we were all suffering from sugar induced comas. We'd just lay practically lifeless on the floor or hanging halfway off the sofa, the small twitches of our fingers that were wrapped around oversized game controllers the only sign that we were still among the living. Then, before we knew it, the clock would strike twelve and the brand new year would arrive completely unbeknownst to us.

That was what Zexion and I had done pretty much every year since we'd known each other, and that year was going to be no different. Minus the addition of a blond, hyperactive co-worker of mine. And, to be honest, I was really looking forward to gaining back some of that normalcy I'd lost over the past few months. After all, who needs big, fancy parties, all of which are attended by people better looking and more rich than you could ever dream of being, when you've got ancient video game consoles, bags upon bags of cheap candy and the company of friends?

Besides the obvious purpose of that specific day; surviving yet another year of the magical thing we call life, setting goals for yourself that are never actually completed and just roll over into the next year and waiting all night for a big shiny ball to drop, it had a more significant meaning for me.

It was a chance for me to start over. I was being given a clean slate, a fresh sheet of paper in which to write all new words about the journeys I was going to find myself taking and the wonderful experiences I was bound to come across on the way to wherever it was I was going. That simple day signified an occasion to leave every single scar and burden I'd been carrying in the past where they belonged. It was an opportunity to prove that underneath my cracked exterior and just beyond my broken heart, laid a strength that no one and nothing could take from me. I was going to prove to myself and the rest of the world that I had what it took to rise above the adversity and continue on with my life.

It had been five days since the big scene I'd made on the Strife's back porch that had, undoubtedly, become legendary among Radiant Garden's rich and famous. It had been over one hundred hours since I spilled my heart out to Roxas only to watch him disregard my confessions of love completely. It had been two months in total since my life had changed forever, and I was doing ok. So maybe I wasn't skipping around the apartment while humming show tunes, and I certainly wasn't jumping for joy or having the time of my life, but I was healing, and that was a step in the right direction.

And, sure, Roxas was still in my thoughts. I doubted that there would ever be a time when he wasn't at least in the back of my mind, and I still felt like somehow we would always be a part of each others lives in some small way, but I'd concluded that my life with him, a life that had barely been able to see the light of day, was pretty much over. I could do one of two things. Either I could crumble and fall like so many others with hearts too weak to go on, or I could lift myself up by the bootstraps and accept that it was just the way things had to be. I chose the only option I felt that I had, and that was to move on.

Moving on isn't always easy, though, and doing it in just a few days is even more difficult. I spent the day after my final heartbreak just moping around the apartment like a zombie. I literally could not see or feel anything. I was so bad off that I even agreed to just sit on the couch in my pajamas, digging into a huge bucket of cookie dough ice cream, and watching Zexion read for two whole hours. I think that was the point where my best friend knew that something had to be done, and he gave me that initial shove that I needed. He forced me to take a shower, change into my clothes and go outside into the world.

As I leisurely walked around the streets of Radiant Garden that I'd strolled so many times before, I realized how pathetic I was being. But it wasn't until I'd walked so far and came upon a rather familiar and haunting street that I realized what I needed to do. I didn't dare walk down the road that would eventually lead to my childhood home, but just standing on the corner, letting the wind blow past my face as I stared and stared some more, I could hear the screams overtaking my mind, I could see myself in the dark corner of my old room praying for something to change, and I realized that I'd gotten what I wished for. Things changed. I'd left behind the chaos of my home life and moved on to a better life. It didn't matter that I was just a simple minimum wage worker living in a shitty run down apartment with my best friend. It didn't matter that things hadn't turned out exactly as I had planned because I finally saw what I was never able to see before; that without even realizing it, my life had changed.

I spent the next five days distracting myself with anything and everything I could think of. I attempted to learn how to cook, but that only lasted until I set the smoke alarm off for the fifth time and Demyx forcefully dragged me away from the stove. I played hours upon hours of Mario Kart, and by the time Zexion pried the controller out of my hands I was a self-proclaimed expert at it. I even attempted to read one of my best friend's numerous novels, but about twenty pages in I found myself bored to almost actual tears.

The nights were the hardest of all because that's when I had nothing left to distract me but my thoughts, and we all know that thoughts can take you to places you don't want to go. So it was during those seemingly endless, dark and thought provoking nights when I felt more alone than I ever had before that Cloud's simple words rang the truest and I held onto them the tightest.

Maybe I didn't have Roxas, and maybe I never would. It was possible that what I'd led myself to believe was destiny, a pure act of fate, was just a figment of my imagination. Maybe I'd never kiss his lips again or look into those deep, blue eyes. But, damn it, all things considered, I had it pretty good.

I had friends who proved time and time again that they would stick by me through thick and thin. Zexion, as always, was an ever present figure by my side. He never let me get too deep into something I couldn't handle without reaching out a hand to guide me back. Demyx had become a constant fixture in my life, what with being my co-worker and pretty much a permanent resident in my apartment. And with his bubbly personality and sometimes dimwitted behavior, laughs were never hard to come by. Yuffie had her obvious distractions. Being the girlfriend of someone rich and gorgeous will do that to you. But despite her new and exciting life, she still found the time to annoy me every time I walked through Smoothie King's doors after work, and I'd even allowed her to wheedle me into another shopping trip. I was obviously desperate for a distraction, yes, but I found that once I allowed it to be, shopping with Yuffie was actually a lot of fun and definitely worth her annoying yet totally endearing ways. And, to be honest, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I had my rickety old car back in my possession, and I didn't even have to spend a dime to do so. Thanks to Cloud, who I deemed my most favorite person in the entire world. He dropped it off exactly as he said he would and brought Kairi along since he was going to need a ride back home.

I was so happy to see that faded, red Honda that I could have fallen to my knees and kissed it passionately as soon as it was safely in the parking lot. I could have, but I didn't. Thankfully, the common sense I'd had before Roxas went and messed with my mind had returned, and I vowed that I wasn't going to make a fool out of myself again. At least until Kairi and Cloud were totally out of sight. They didn't stay very long, and we never uttered a word about Roxas or the whole infamous engagement party. In fact, we didn't say much of anything. I knew that things were going to be weird after everything that had happened and there would probably be no way we could stay close friends after all I'd done, but we never spoke of that either. We just smiled and said our goodbyes. When they left, I watched them drive away until the sleek, black Mercedes was just a glint in the distance, and all that was left in their place was quiet sadness and a mournful presence of friendships that would never be.

I still had my job by some incredible miracle that could only have been accomplished by the hands of God himself. That's not to say I didn't get a verbal beating from my boss the minute I walked through the door for the first time since the colossal mistake I'd made by showing up to the mansion. Angry wouldn't even begin to describe the pure rage that radiated off my boss as he broke a couple vases and smashed a few of Demyx's precious cupcakes when he pretty much told me my life as I knew it at Wonderland Bakery was over. I'd cost him a huge client in the Strife's, and he promised to never let me forget it. His first step in keeping that promise was forcing me to take baking lessons from Demyx. It had been something I was supposed to do from the very beginning, but Marluxia, being the dismissive person that he was, had never made me follow through with it, until then.

I figured learning the fine art of cupcake making and studying the molecular composition of a thousand colorful sprinkles would be a cakewalk. Pun intended. Plus, after everything I'd been through in my life, what harm could it do?

I started the lessons almost immediately and it was, as suspected, a complete and total disaster from start to finish. My first cake was as flat as a pancake and burnt to a crisp, I never once remembered to spread the frosting in the correct counter-clockwise direction, and I'd accidentally put chocolate chips in my batch of sugar cookies. I was driving Demyx up the wall instead of the other way around, and Larxene was having a field day making fun of all my failures.

All things considered, my life was looking up, and I seemed to be well on my way to a brighter future.

The relatively small grocery store, located just ten easy blocks from my apartment, was unusually empty for a festive day such as that one. Usually, the citizens of my lovely, little town were packed into grocery stores like sardines in a can, especially around the holidays. Not that I was complaining about the lack of commotion, though. The less I had to maneuver through throngs of people who stood in the middle of aisles seemingly just to get on my nerves or the ones who couldn't detach their phones from their ears long enough to push their carts at a reasonable pace, the better. If there's one thing I hate, it's shopping in crowded stores.

We'd been in the store for over an hour, and that was mostly thanks to a certain blond co-worker of mine who treated our outing like a quest of epic proportions. Little did I know that taking Demyx with us on our simple shopping trip would result in my blood pressure skyrocketing and cause boredom to seep into the very depths of my soul. He ran down every aisle at least twice in search of every single thing we could possibly need for one night of celebration and more. His eyes were lit up, like every aisle we traveled down held all the miracles of life and he was memorizing them all. An innocent passer by, if there had actually been any in the store, would have certainly mistaken him as someone who'd just been set free from the loony bin. A grown man running through a grocery store and practically throwing himself on bags of candy? Yea, that didn't exactly scream sane. But that was Demyx.

When we reached the candy aisle, or what I now like to call 'the aisle of doom', for the fourth time, Demyx immediately set to work again. He took off ahead of Zexion and I, despite the cart being with us, and began to pretty much talk to himself while he gathered bag after bag of candy in his arms.

"We totally need some of these!" He grabbed an uncountable number of lollipops and threw them into our cart that was already overflowing with things I wasn't even sure how we were going to pay for.

"We already have enough," Zexion sighed as he looked down into the cart with a slight grimace on his face. "We've been down this aisle like three times, and each time you pile on more unnecessary candy."

Demyx walked back towards us and stood still for the first time since we'd entered the store. For a while he just blinked at my roommate, and the eerie stillness that fell over the place started to creep me out. "What is wrong with you?" Demyx finally broke the silence and brought everything back to normal. "You can never have enough candy. Candy is like…it's like crack, except totally legal and way more fun." With that said, he took off running again, face aglow as he scanned all the shelves that he'd searched through dozens of times already.

Zexion rolled his eyes before throwing some of the unneeded items back onto the shelves. "I swear…" He muttered under his breath as he sifted through all the bags of candy and junk food, most likely adding up the prices in his head. "I don't know how I even put up with him."

"It's nice to see you two acting like an old married couple already," I said with a smirk as I leaned my arms onto the side of the cart. The fact that my two friends liked to deny their obvious relationship, for God knows what reason, only made it easier for me to taunt them.

Zexion shot a glare my way before tossing a bag of malted milk balls onto a random shelf. "I'll have you know that we are nothing like a married couple, and I take offense to that." I scoffed at him, but he kept on talking. It was obvious that I'd hit a nerve. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to be annoyed by someone without being accused of having a relationship with said annoyance."

I laughed and pushed myself away from the cart. "My dear, sweet, completely clueless Zexion." I glanced down the way at Demyx who was bouncing in place and grinning like a total idiot. "When are you going to realize that I'm not as dumb as you think I am? It's obvious that you and the crazy quilt over there are—"

"Do you think we need this?" My best friend lifted up a bad of potato chips, effectively cutting me off and making the relationship between him and my co-worker even more obvious in the process. And me, being the kind, gentle person I could sometimes pretend I was, decided to let it go. For a while.

"You know what else we're going to need to get through a night with that?" Zexion looked up at me curiously, and I nodded my head in the direction of Demyx who was in the middle of singing a song about Twinkies and cotton candy, all the while gathering up more snacks that were bound to render him beyond unbearable to be around that night.

I turned back to my roommate and could tell by the expression on his face that he shared my exact sentiments. He moved back around so he could wrap his hands around the handle of the cart while I propped myself up on the front of it so I could stand on the small metal bar that stuck out at the bottom and hold onto the plastic rim. With one last sidelong glance at a completely oblivious, hyperactive blond and a curt nod to my best friend, he reeled the cart around and we took off.

It was like we were in a race. We flew through all the aisles, conquering all the twists and turns. It was easy to do considering the place was all but empty, but that didn't stop us from having a few close calls. Once, Zexion cut a corner too close, and we'd almost sent a tower of soup cans tumbling to the floor. Then, when we gained enough momentum, he lifted his feet off the ground, and we almost lost control and ran right into a line of shelves that would have most likely caused a store-wide catastrophe had we actually hit it.

We knew where we planned to go, but everything was passing by so fast that it was almost impossible to differentiate one aisle from the next, and I don't think we even cared that much after a while. Zexion was too busy guiding us and looking back over his shoulder to pay attention, and I was preoccupied with gripping onto the tiny edge of the cart, trying not to fall back into the thing and smash all of our food while at the same time hoping to keep myself from flying forward and meeting the floor face first. Not to mention, we were quite possibly having the time of our lives and creating a memory that was sure to last forever.

It was all of a sudden like we were little kids again, kids who had no idea what the consequences of our actions were, and we didn't care. Our giggles filtered through the store, and everything passed by in a blur as Zexion moved at speeds I didn't even know he was capable of. Though our escape had started out as a way to rid ourselves of an overzealous Demyx, at least for a while, thoughts of that faded overtime, and our cart adventures had become nothing more than a game, a thrill that sent adrenaline through my body as the sheer wind of our movements flew by my face. I felt alive for the first time in weeks, and it felt so good. I was on top of the world.

That is, until Zexion finally steered us down the aisle we were supposed to have been looking for in the first place and the cart came to an abrupt and screeching halt that sent me flying forward despite my best efforts to hang on. I heard Zexion shout my name, and I saw the world go flying by until my body collided with the cement floor. Hard.

For a minute I couldn't breathe from the sheer force in which I'd hit the dirty ground, but that didn't stop me from laughing so hard that I had to clutch onto my stomach to stop it form hurting too much.

After what seemed like forever of listening to mine and Zexion's raucous laughter until it all but evaporated and left a few gasping breaths behind, and lying on the cold cement in the middle of an aisle lined on either side with various kinds of alcohol, I finally opened my eyes. At first, the only thing I could see in front of my eyes was sparkling silver, and I thought for a moment that I'd died. But when I blinked and backed up a little, I realized I was looking at the most extravagant pair of high heels I'd ever seen, and unless Angels had an affinity for expensive shoes, then there was no way I was in heaven.

I'd spent countless minutes studying the footwear and losing myself in my thoughts, and I almost forgot that I was lying on the floor in the grocery store, in the middle of the alcohol aisle, right in front of someone who was important enough to wear shoes that cost more than my apartment. When reality finally came crashing down and the high of flying through the store on the front of a grocery cart had worn off, I scrambled to get to my feet, which unfortunately wasn't an easy process. I grabbed onto a shelf to help lift myself up and accidentally knocked over two large and expensive looking bottles of wine. I heard two separate gasps and luckily, thanks to my long clumsy arms that had caused the problem in the first place, I was able to grab a hold of them and juggle them back onto the shelf without incident.

When everything was back in its place, and after I'd taken the time to brush off whatever dirt had gotten on my clothes after my lovely stay on the floor of aisle 20, I decided to look at the person I'd unintentionally made an ass out of myself for. "I'm sorry, I'm not usually…uh…I don't really like to roll around on grocery store floors or anything."

The small girl in front of me didn't look the slightest bit amused as I struggled to explain myself unsuccessfully. She was wearing a huge straw hat and the biggest pair of movie star glasses that practically covered her whole face. The only things visible were her small perfectly shaped—probably thanks to plastic surgery—nose and her cherry red lips that had not once even formed the beginnings of a smile since I'd looked at her. She was holding a tall champagne bottle in her hand, and I got the feeling that she was judging me for all I was worth behind those gigantic shades of hers.

At that moment, Demyx found us, and either he was totally clueless to the fact that we had intentionally ditched him, or he was too busy losing his shit over the armful of candy he had just dumped into our overflowing cart. It was starting to look more and more like we were trying to feed a small continent with all the food we'd accumulated instead of just three fairly skinny men, and I couldn't help but wonder what Miss Thing was thinking about that. She was probably thinking we were the most pathetic things she'd ever seen, and she most likely couldn't wait to hop in her flashy red Camero that daddy paid for and dial up her friends to tell them about the losers she'd just encountered.

I was ripped out of my thoughts when Zexion and Demyx started to bicker quietly over the cost of food. I smirked to myself at the fact that they were furthermore proving my married couple theory. But everything came to a screeching halt as a small but very familiar voice rang out from behind me.

"What a coincidence seeing you guys here."

The lovers quarrel was cut off mid insult, Zexion in the middle of complaining about how he worked hard for the money that his 'non-boyfriend' wanted him to spend on useless stuff and Demyx protesting that three bags of tootsie roll pops were, in fact, very useful. Eyes widened, mouths hung agape, and I immediately spun back in the direction of the voice, unable to believe my ears.

Without wasting any time, Miss Thing removed her sunglasses and hat to reveal big blue eyes and slightly messy but still perfectly soft, blond hair. And if it was possible to die of sudden shock, I'm pretty sure I would have. I'd prepared myself for a lot of things— a life without Roxas and the fact that I was going to spend countless months on end watching Demyx and Zexion make doe-eyes at each other when they thought I wasn't looking. I was even probably pretty much prepared for the zombie apocalypse, should that ever happen. But Naminé standing right in front of me and not attempting to kill me? Yea, totally not ready for that one.

"I was going to stop by you guys' apartment after I picked this up for the party tonight." She raised the green bottle in her hand and smiled sweetly.

And I just stood there like a complete idiot, blinking and not able to find a single word to say. Naminé was right in front of me, and she was smiling. Her teeth weren't bared in a fury of unadulterated rage and she wasn't making a flying leap towards me, intent on clawing my eyes out and leaving me to bleed out on the floor. I half expected her to take that bottle in her hands and smash it over my head. But it never happened. She just stood there, amiable as ever, like nothing had ever happened, and it blew what was left of my mind.

"Why would you be coming to our apartment?" I saw the cart move forward out of the corner of my eye as Zexion took control of the conversation. Thank God for people who had their heads on straight, unlike me.

"Well, Kairi's father is having a party at one of his hotels tonight, and I thought you guys should come. Yuffie's going, you know?" She attempted to open her purse, but with one hand holding the champagne it proved to be quite difficult. "Can you hold this for me?"

She held the bottle out to me, looking up at me with her big, blue eyes, and I could just not force my arms to move. I was certain that my brain was about to malfunction. In a few seconds smoke would be coming out of my ears and I'd fall down to the floor, yet again, only that time it wouldn't be so pretty.

After a few seconds of Naminé holding the bottle out to me, me just staring back blankly and a whole lot of general awkwardness, Demyx reached out and took the item from her grasp. She smiled at him and started to dig around in her purse. Before my co-worker stepped back he gave me a look that clearly said 'what the hell is wring with you?' and had my brain been able to function correctly, I would have seen the irony of that look coming from a man who had just been running up and down aisles and professing his love to sugar.

I found it within my power to glance over at Zexion, but he was no help at all because he seemed just as confused as I was. So I was left to mull over my own thoughts and come to my own conclusions and, let's face it, that's hardly ever a good idea.

I was almost certain that the whole situation was completely made up. Maybe I'd hit the floor harder than I thought and jarred my brain around so much that it was making up completely false visions. I shook my head back and forth. I squeezed my eyes shut. I did a million things to try and make things go back to normal and probably only succeeded in making myself seem completely insane. But Naminé didn't fade from view, she didn't turn back into a cardboard cutout that had been set up to advertise something in the store, and I didn't suddenly appear back in the candy aisle. In short, nothing worked. What I was seeing before my eyes was the real deal.

Naminé dug through her purse for countless minutes, and I had a hard time grasping why it was so hard to find something in such a tiny bag. What is it that women put in those things? Eventually, and thankfully before I had time to start thinking again, she pulled out a small white piece of paper that was all decorated in shimmering glitter and had ribbons hanging around the edges. Demyx shoved the bottle of champagne he was holding into Zexion's arms and reached out for the paper. Anything with sparkles was right up his alley. He looked down at it with an awe that was completely genuine and opened it up. My roommate leaned over the blond's shoulder to get a better look at what was inside, but I was still too stunned to move from my place.

"It's an official invitation," Naminé pointed out, taking the alcohol from Zexion. "You need one to get in. Plus, it's got the directions on it and everything."

"Who makes these things?" Demyx's eyes were glued on the item in his hand as he flipped it over a million times and ran his fingers over the ribbons.

Zexion rolled his eyes, but Naminé just giggled softly. "I made them," She clutched onto the bottle in her hands, and my co-worker looked up at her like she'd just confessed that she was an angel sent from heaven above. "I do it for all the parties. What can I say? I enjoy arts and crafts."

"Do you like…baking?" Demyx narrowed his eyes carefully and waited with bated breath for the response.

Naminé looked a bit scared to answer his question, and who the hell could blame her? Demyx was a bit overwhelming sometimes. She glanced over a Zexion, and he sent her an apologetic half-smile. "Uh…yea, I make cupcakes for my friends all the time."

The blond male took a deep breath and pressed the invitation to his chest. "I…think…I love you." He reached out and took Naminé's hand in his. "We should totally bake cupcakes together sometime."

The girl squeezed his hand, and her bright smile lit up that store more than the fluorescent lights could ever dream of. "Ok…but you gotta come to the party!"

Demyx nodded furiously, and I could see his invisible tail rapidly wagging back and forth. He had found himself a new friend in the petite girl and would surely follow her around like a puppy.

"Wait." Zexion cast a worried glance my way, and if he was trying to be subtle at all, he failed miserably. "We're all invited?" He started to point towards me then apparently realized how obvious he was being and swung his arm back the other way like some kind of spastic idiot. "Like, I mean…all of us?"

"Of course." She let out a soft giggle and positioned her gaze on me. "All three of you."

And that was the exact moment of clarity in which I became aware something was askew. I had to have been in the twilight zone because there was absolutely no other excuse as to why Naminé was standing in front of me like nothing had ever happened and was inviting me to a New Years Eve party. I had crashed her engagement party and would have stolen her fiancé right out form under her nose, yet there she was, just standing there like all was right with the world and we were the best of friends. Never mind that I'd hardly even spoken more than two words to her in the whole time I'd known her or that I'd pretty much despised her since the moment I'd found out about her feelings for Roxas. Just what in the actual hell was going on? Who knew that freaky shit like what I was experiencing could happen smack dab in the middle of the local grocery store?

"You guys have to come, ok?" She never let her eyes leave my own as she said it. And maybe I was crazy, maybe I'd suffered one too many blows to the head, but I could have sworn that I saw a flash of something behind her eyes. The smile she had plastered on her face seemed to be waning with each passing second that our eyes were locked, and I couldn't get over the feeling that there was something unspoken behind her words. "You have to promise me that you'll come." The intensity in her eyes grew until I felt like I was going to have to turn away. It was as if Demyx and Zexion were invisible, like it was only her and I standing there among all the glass bottles. "Everyone's going to be there, and they'll all be happy to see you. So, do you promise?"

And I don't what came over me, but I found myself nodding my head in response and swallowing the lump in my throat that had appeared out of nowhere. Who cared if going to that party could possibly break down all the walls I'd been trying to build? One look into the eyes of a girl I'd decided months ago that I couldn't stand, and I was putty in her hands. There was just something about her, something in her eyes and behind her smile that I couldn't put my finger on, and I couldn't find it in my heart to deny her request.

When all words were dried up and the only thing that was left was that slightly awkward silence again, Naminé flashed one more smile at the three of us and walked quickly out of the aisle, leaving only the sound of a lone pair of footsteps and a strange air of sadness in her wake.

We stood there on that aisle for what seemed like forever, letting the stillness settle in and set up home all around us, until finally Zexion looked down at he cart had the sense enough to speak up. "Looks like we won't be needing any of this stuff after all."

At approximately eleven-thirty that night, we stood in front of the entrance to the Highwind Hotel located on Park Avenue. The building was huge and lit up from the first floor to the 105th. And as a true demonstration of how the whole thing with Naminé had messed with my mind, the only thing I could bring myself to think of while standing there was how outrageous their electric bill was going to be.

The party had started up at eight o'clock sharp, and we'd shown up way past fashionably late. That was completely my fault because even though I'd told Naminé I was going to show up, I didn't quite consult my brain or my heart on the matter. I spent five long hours of agonizing decision making, which hardly led to anything. When I would finally decide that I was just going to suck it up and face the music, I would get one foot out the door before I was running back inside and changing my mind again.

And it's not like showing up at that party was a simple decision. Ok, maybe for every other single person invited it was. But for me, it was quite possibly the difference between life and death. After five days of convincing myself and actually believing that I was moving on, I was almost right back where I started, on the steps of yet another intimidating structure that held something unknown just beyond its equally threatening doors. I was starting to wonder what the relation between my life and huge buildings was because every time I turned around, there I was, facing down another one. It was something I'd experienced way more times than was normal and It would have been almost comical if my stomach didn't feel like it was about to fall through my feet.

Demyx, Zexion and I just stood there, side by side, on the bottom step that lead to the entrance of the fancy hotel, letting the snow fall down in lazy flurries and watching the people bustle in and out of the door. Sure, we got a few curious glances, but for the most part, we were pretty much ignored. After all, on a night like that one who had the time to contemplate three weirdos hanging out on the front steps?

It was finally Zexion who spoke up after ten minutes, at the very least, had passed us by. "I think we should go inside." His voice was guarded and careful as he peered down at his watch. And then I felt his eyes on me without even having to turn my head and see for myself. "It's now or never."

He was right. I could have stood out there all night long letting the fear and anxiety of what would happen beyond those doors practically eat me alive, or I could show everyone the strength I'd found and take that first difficult step into the unknown. With a deep, elongated breath and a quick nod to my friends, I moved forward and we walked up the seemingly endless steps and straight through the door without a moment's hesitation.

Walking into that hotel was like visiting some place you hadn't been in a long time. A place that you could once recall so fondly but over the years had faded from view, leaving only vague memories in your mind. I had never been to that hotel before, but that didn't matter. I could hear the classical music as it filtered into the entryway from the lobby. The familiar sounds of guests mingling and glasses clinking as they were raised together in cheers reached my ears almost instantly.

Without even having to lay my eyes on the party, I could already picture the gowns and tuxedos, the glitz and glamor and all the friendly smiles. I could see Sora's million dollar smile as he walked through the crowd with Kairi on his arm and greeted everyone. I could envision Riku and that arrogant smirk of his as he flirted with the group of women who swarmed around him. I saw Yuffie and Kadaj cooking up sneaky plans in the corner and Cloud mingling in with the guests. And finally, and most clearly, I could see Naminé and Roxas dancing elegantly in the middle of the floor like a princess and her prince, their arms around each other while people on the sidelines whispered about how they were the perfect couple.

Just like that, I was taken back. It was like a time warp in my mind, and all around me I could see flashes of everything I'd thought I was over. Memories crashed down on me like a wave and like an ocean current, I was being pulled farther and farther away from the reality I'd worked so hard to perfect.

Movie premieres, Halloween night, food fights, cupcakes and skating rinks, late night confessions, first kisses under mistletoe, eyes so blue and amazing that I felt like I could die just looking into them, That voice that I could still hear saying my name.

"Axel…"

The voice sounded so real, but I knew it couldn't be because I was just imagining things. My mind was too far gone to know the difference between reality and fantasy, and I was only fooling myself. Even though I knew that, even though I was aware that things were over and I was just a sad man who was deluding himself, I slowly opened my eyes and let the room come back into focus.

The first thing I noticed were my two friends frozen in place and staring at me like I was going to spontaneously combust right in front of their eyes. When I gave Zexion a perplexed look, he turned his head towards the left, and I followed his gaze. Once I finally saw what had him so stunned, I felt like my heart was going to stop.

Roxas was standing there in the middle of the doorway and staring right at me. Our eyes met for a split second ,and that was all it took for me to turn on my heels and run for the exit. I didn't even bother to inform my friends where I was going because I wasn't even sure myself. I just moved as if my life depended on it, no matter what was in my way. I stumbled over a rug, knocked over a chair, and nearly killed and innocent couple during my sprint to the door, but not even any of those obstacles could slow me down. I was going to get out of that building and as far away from that party as possible no matter what.

I ignored the delayed calls of Zexion and Demyx as I flung the door open and felt a gust of cold December wind assault my body. I completely disregarded that familiar voice shouting my name as I flew down the steps five at time until I was on flat ground, and I didn't even slow my pace as I took off down the sidewalk against the wind and snow that all of a sudden seemed a lot less forgiving and a lot more of a hindrance.

I heard the door open then shut again, and I was completely aware of the presence of rapid footsteps behind me, but I just kept going. As long as I was moving, as long as my feet were running across the icy sidewalk the night hadn't happened, and I was still ok. There was no way I was going to stop and face everything, not again. As I found the last bits of strength in my legs to carry me a few more feet down the sidewalk, I cursed myself for allowing Naminé and my own weak mind to talk me into going to that party in the first place. I knew from the moment I saw the girl in the store that everything was going to come crumbling down again, and I hated myself for making such a big mistake.

"Axel, please stop!"

I heard the voice, it rang out loud and clear even over the excitement of the city and the fireworks that were shooting off up above us. I wanted to keep going, I tried to force my legs to keep moving, but they felt like they were going to fall off. Everything was catching up with me—the fact that I was the least athletic person I knew, the wind beating me down with every pitiful stride I attempted to make, the snow falling into my lashes and practically blinding me, almost making me run headfirst into a stop sign. I had a choice to either try and keep going until I fell down to the frozen earth, practically dead—or to simply stop.

I don't know when my life had decided to become one big mess of impossible decisions, but if it was supposed to be some sort of joke, I was far from laughing. Despite what I wanted to do, my feet eventually ceased all movement on their own. I slumped over in defeat, trying desperately to catch my breath and waiting to find out just how many cracks a heart can take before it's deemed unfixable.

The footsteps that had been trailing behind me for what felt like miles but was only a few blocks, slowed down just like I knew they would. I heard the ragged breaths, and I took a small comfort in the fact that at least I wasn't the only one worn out by a couple minutes of vigorous activity.

Even though I knew just who was behind me, I didn't turn around. To stop running from something was one thing, but to actually face it? That was a whole other story entirely. That was a story made up of hundreds of thousands of words that I just did not feel like even starting. I was never much of a reader, anyway.

"Axel, please I need to talk to you," Roxas finally spoke up after countless moments of trying to catch his breath, and apparently my heart had a mind of its own because it started pounding rapidly. Not that it wasn't already beating a mile a minute from the sprint I'd just participated in, but as soon as I heard that voice, it was well on its way to exploding.

"I can't do this right now, Roxas." And that was the truth. If I wanted to keep any of the strength I'd worked up over the past few days I just needed him to turn around and walk away. There was no way I could listen to his voice, let alone look into those eyes, as he told me all about his new life with Naminé and live to tell about it.

A lingering stillness hung over us as I kept my back to the boy and watched all the people walking by. There were tons of them, friends, family, lovers, all walking hand in hand and smiling and laughing and telling jokes. They were all so filled with the joy and thrills of a brand new year that was mere minutes away, and I was just standing there like a complete outsider who was on the verge of collapse. I'm not sure if I ever felt more out of place than I did on that busy sidewalk.

I wasn't even sure that Roxas had heard me until he spoke up again. "I'm going to talk to you whether you want me to or not." His voice was firm and unwavering, but somewhere underneath I could hear the uncertainty.

And as soon as he said it, I wanted to turn around and punch him the face. I wanted to break him down so he would know just what it felt like when your heart was completely smashed but kept on beating. But more than anything, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and breathe him in. I wanted to feel his lips against mine once again I wanted to lace out fingers together and walk merrily along the sidewalk like everyone else. I had to stop myself from getting on my hands and knees and begging him stay with me. I'd come too far to resort back to those pathetic ways, and I hated myself for even thinking it. I didn't want to think about how weak I really was, how my existence in the world seemed to rely on someone else for the first time in my life.

"Please." I pressed the palms of my shaking hands into my eyes. It was a simple action, but one with so many purposes. I was trying desperately to stop the hot sting of tears that I felt forming behind my eyes, and it was a useless attempt to make everything go away. "Just stop talking."

Apparently, the desperate pleas of a broken man meant nothing to Roxas because he just kept on going. Honestly, that was no surprise. It was a trait in the boy that I'd grown to love. Only, in that moment, I was despising it. "No, I can't. I have to make things right." He let out a shaky sigh, which was the first clear sign that he was having as hard of a time as I was. "The engagement is off. I…I called it off."

I could tell that Roxas was hoping that those words would make everything ok again and, damn, how I wish they did. But how could things as simple as a few words strung together take back all the hurt and the betrayal I'd felt? How could they just make me forget?

It was funny how five days ago, hearing that sentence out of his mouth would have melted away all of the pain and sorrow. How could things have changed so quickly? I'm not saying hearing that Roxas and Naminé weren't getting married wasn't a least a small weight lifted off of my shoulders. I still felt the slight happiness swelling up in my stomach, but I just didn't feel like it was enough anymore.

"Not all things that are broken can be mended so easily."

"Maybe they can't be fixed easily," Roxas was quick to answer back. His raised voice caused a few curious glances to be thrown our way, but that didn't stop him. "But they can still be fixed." I heard the footsteps behind me moving again. Slowly but surly the soles of his shoes scuffled across the snowy pavement, and the next time I heard his voice it was much closer. "Look, I told my parents the truth. I told them about us, about how our family had changed so much and how I just couldn't stand it anymore. My dad got mad, like he actually got angry and yelled at me, raged and threw things."

"Sounds like a success." I knew exactly what that meant for Roxas, but I just couldn't bring myself to acknowledge it out loud. Instead I just I lowered my head and watched the snow land in piles around my feet.

"But don't you see? It really was a success." I could hear the happiness in his voice, and I could feel my anguish very slowly melting away without my consent. "He stopped pretending to be perfect for once. The mask finally came off. And maybe it's going to take a while for things to get completely back to normal, but I think he finally sees what I was talking about. Do you know what that means?"

I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets and shrugged. Somewhere inside I felt happy for him, possibly even elated, but those emotions were buried under the pain that was still lingering. "What?" I pretended like I had no idea what it meant. Maybe I wanted to seem detached from the whole situation, but somewhere deep inside I'm pretty sure I just wanted to keep listening to his voice.

"It means that even the most seemingly hopeless of situations can be mended. Maybe not all at once because some things take time, but that doesn't mean you just give up on something you know is right." The footsteps started up again and didn't stop until I could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body as it was almost pressed up against mine.

My defenses were shutting down one by one, and even though I tried to stop them from doing so, I couldn't. I didn't want to, but I turned my head just slightly so I could glance over my shoulder, and I couldn't ignore the shiver that worked its way up my spine when I saw that spiky, disheveled blond hair.

"You're the one who told me I had a chance to fix things with my family and not to let it pass me by, right? Well, I almost did, and in the process I lost something else really important to me. I'm not going to let it go again." Roxas' voice was tearing down the walls with the greatest of ease. The more he spoke, the harder it was to recognize the pain I'd become so familiar with.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I'm probably going to make a million more, but mistakes aren't a reason to throw things away." All of a sudden I felt his arms wrap around my waist, his chest pressing into my back, and I went completely and utterly still. I sucked in my breath and kept it there because I was afraid if I let it out, if I moved even the slightest bit, everything would fade away and reality would pop back out, laughing at me while it shouted: 'haha just kidding!'

"All I've ever wanted in my life is to feel normal, and you do that for me, Axel. You make me feel normal and crazy and out of control, all at the same time, like I've never felt before." I was surprised my heart was still beating because Roxas holding onto me, feeling his chest rise and fall with his rapid breaths, was something I'd never expected to feel again

"And I know that all you want is for someone to love you, to show what love truly means, and I can do that for you.,"Roxas said into the fabric of my jacket, and I felt his grip on me tighten. "I promise I can. Because I already love you, Axel. I love you like I've never loved anyone in my life, and I'm just…I'm sorry my weakness caused you even more pain."

It was strange how the world kept moving, people continued to stroll by arm in arm, laughing and enjoying each others company, the fireworks kept exploding in the sky one after the other, and the hands on the clock just kept ticking by, completely unaware of Roxas and I standing in the middle of a frozen sidewalk with our hearts and emotions bared for all to see. Life just kept moving forward like it always had, just like it did when I left my parents house and exactly like it did when I thought Roxas was out of my life for good.

And it was in that exact moment that I realized how truly amazing life really was. One minute you can feel like you're at the end of your rope and the next you're flying above the clouds. It's amazing how in an instant life can change so drastically. I'd been through hell pretty much my whole life. I was struggling to make it through every day, and that whole time the one person I never knew I needed was just a few miles away, facing a few demons of his own. In a world full of millions we were just two small, insignificant people, yet somehow we'd found each other. And that was a true miracle.

I finally started to breathe again, and I lifted my trembling hand so it was resting one of Roxas' arms. I wasn't sure what it meant, but it felt like the right thing to do, and before I knew it I felt a true smile forming on my face. I pulled myself out of Roxas' grasp, and for the first time that night, the first time in five days, I looked down at his beautiful face as the fireworks lit up the sky. And it felt like the first time ever.

Neither one of us spoke a word as I pulled him into an embrace so strong I was surprised he could breath. He wrapped his arms back around me, and just like that, I felt all the pain and suffering slipping away like drops of harsh rain sliding down a window pane.

I wanted our embrace to last forever,or at least much longer than a couple minutes, but apparently that was too much to wish for. I already had Roxas back, and I guess that was enough of a wish fulfillment. For one night, at least.

The boy in my arms pushed me away quickly and peered at something over my shoulder. When his eyes widened and a flash of panic spread over his face, I turned around to see just what he was looking at. I was greeted with a huge tower and a clock on the very top. I turned back around to Roxas and sent him a curious glance.

"It's almost midnight," He was quick to answer my unspoken question.

I raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Yea…and?"

"We have to get back to the party before then."

"Why do we have to go back?" He was acting so curious, and I couldn't help but wonder just exactly what was going on in that mind of his. Besides, I kinda wanted to stay outside under the fireworks for a little longer.

"We just do, ok?" He reached out his hand towards me, and I just stared back at him. "Take my hand."

All I had to do was take one glance into his pleading eyes, and without anymore hindrance, I grabbed his hand. The moment our skin touched, I felt like the bonds that were once on the verge of destruction were firmly back in place. I knew that Roxas felt it too because despite his previous hurried actions, he lingered in place for a minute just staring back at me.

Then, before I really had the time to register anything, I was being yanked forward forcefully, and I had to keep my mind on moving my feet in pace with Roxas who was practically flying down the sidewalk that we'd traveled over just minutes earlier.

We sprinted over snow covered pavement, hand in hand as the fireworks lit up the sky in a multitude of colors. We weaved through the crowds in front of the hotel and in the entryway, quite like Zexion and I had done in the grocery store earlier. I felt that same adrenaline entering my body again, except with Roxas' hand in mine it was ten times more intense.

We crashed through the lobby doors, and just like that, all eyes were on us. I'm sure we were quite a sight, all windswept hair and rosy cheeks. We had less than two minutes until the clock struck twelve and the new year started with or without whatever Roxas had planned, and he was quite aware of that because he gave the party goers, nor I, any time to come to terms with anything.

We ran through the crowds of people, many of whom looked upon us with knowing eyes. No doubt, the majority of the people there were also at the engagement party and saw what happened. And there they were, witnessing another spectacle created by Roxas and me. If nothing else, we were certainly the most exciting pair the wealthy and glamorous of Radiant Garden had ever seen.

As most everyone passed by in a blur, I was able to make out some familiar faces in the crowd. We passed by Kairi and Sora in an instant, but I still saw the identical all-knowing smiles on their faces. Yuffie and Kadaj were sitting at a rapidly passing table, smirking and cheering Roxas and I on like they were spectators at a football game. The last face I made out before we came to an abrupt stop was Naminé's

I suddenly realized exactly what I had seen behind her eyes earlier in the store—she was heartbroken, but she had still invited me to the party and pleaded with me to show up. She smiled at me softly, and I just knew that she'd planned the whole thing. Her heart had been shattered, yet all she did was think about others, she thought about me. And I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

I'd spent months on end hating the girl for no reason other than because she had feelings for Roxas. I'd never talked to her because I was too busy wallowing in my jealousy to see the girl behind all my dislike. I'd prided myself on seeing people for who they truly are, but I'd failed when it came to Naminé. I'd done nothing but despise and belittle her in my mind every chance I got, and there she was, practically handing Roxas—someone I could tell she truly loved—back to me. I knew that if the shoe had been on the other foot, I wouldn't have been strong enough to do the same, and I felt my admiration and respect for her grow.

I wanted to do something, to thank her, to apologize, to give her the biggest hug I could muster, but my eyes and attention were pried away when I felt my arm being tugged upwards. I looked up to see Roxas standing on top of one of the beautifully decorated tables in the middle of the room. "Hurry."

I glanced around the room at all the pairs of eyes that were still trained on us and gave the boy a look of disbelief. "What are you doing?" The Roxas I knew was anything but spontaneous and attention seeking, but he was proving me wrong with his actions.

He grinned and gave my arm another forceful tug. "You'll never know if you don't get up on top of this table with me." And when I looked at that smile, standing up on top of a table—covered in a cloth that probably cost more than my life—in a room full of people who all prided themselves on class and elegance had never seemed more normal.

I stepped up on top of the thing with an incredible ease, thanks to my long legs, just as the crowd started to count down to the new year. "This is crazy," I laughed as I straightened myself up and looked out at the party I was towering over. I caught sight of Demyx and Zexion. The former gave me a thumbs up while my best friend wrapped his arm around the blond.

"I thought we already established that you and I are totally and completely nuts?" Roxas drew my attention back to him as he grabbed the front of my jacket and lifted himself up by the tips of his toes.

"...five, four, three"

I smiled back at him and bent over so our lips were almost touching. "Yea, I guess we did."

"...two, one…Happy New Year"

The crowd erupted into fits of screams and cheers and right on cue, our lips crashed together. It was almost a surreal experience. I could feel the confetti falling down all around us, in my hair, and on my face as Roxas deepened the kiss by wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me forward, and I couldn't help the smile that grew on my lips. I felt Roxas' lips quirk upwards into a smile too, and before I knew it we had to break apart because we were both laughing.

And I reveled in that, in everything, the laughter, the closeness, the indescribable feeling of pure joy, the total bizarreness of the whole night. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I was sure I would certainly never feel quite that way again.

When our laughter had calmed and I was finally able to catch my breath, I spoke up again. "So why exactly were we up here?"

Roxas rolled his eyes like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world and he was annoyed that he had to inform someone as dumb as me. I'd missed that. "Because I wanted everyone to see. I wanted to show the world that I love you, and I always will. And they're just going to have to accept that."

Without a word in response, I grabbed a hold of his chin and pulled him back into another kiss. I was just about to open my mouth and stick my tongue down his throat in front of God and everyone—and in a room that, somewhere, held Roxas' parents when, as per usual, we were interrupted.

"Are you guys seriously going to go at it again?" I broke apart from the boy in front of me and stared down at the familiar smug face of Riku.

"Yea, I mean, let's try to keep things G- rated," Sora chimed in as he smiled up at his brother and me.

"Or, you know, you guys could get a room seeing as we're in a hotel and all." Kairi swung her hands around for emphasis.

"Ohh, if that really happens then we gotta spy on them. I mean, after all, Kairi's dad owns this hotel, so it shouldn't be that hard to swipe the key. And I am pretty crafty, if I do say so myself," Yuffie boasted, and our little group of friends went silent. "You guys are no fun! No fun at all!"

The laughter started up again, and Kadaj wrapped his arm around the small raven-haired girl, pulling her back in an embrace. Yuffie jumped up and planted a kiss on his cheek. That simple action started a chorus of 'awws' and sent Cloud on a spiel about how weird it was to see his best friend acting like he had normal, human feelings.

By that time, Roxas and I had our feet planted on the floor again, and that's when I noticed Naminé standing off to the side, covering her mouth as light airy giggles escaped. When she stopped laughing and caught me in the middle my obvious staring, we just held each others gaze. Something passed between us in those short, few moments. Something that felt a lot like respect and understanding and I wanted to keep it between us, like a secret only the two of us shared. Eventually I mouthed a 'thank you' to her and she nodded back with a smile.

"You know, I think this year is going to be perfect." Kairi's voice rang out above all the others. I felt Roxas tense, and I knew exactly why because that word left a bad taste in my mouth as well.

"Nah, perfection is overrated." All eyes were on me as soon as I spoke. I wrapped one arm around Roxas's shoulders and the other around Zexion's and pulled them both close to me. "Besides, what we have here is so much better than that."

"And what is that?" Zexion laughed.

I took that moment to cast one more glance around the room, taking in all of the sights and sounds. I watched as the last bits of shiny confetti floated down lazily, landing in slippery piles around feet clad in expensive shoes. I watched as people celebrated the beginning of a brand new year together. The laughter and shouts, the hugs, the smiles, I soaked it all up. I let everything fill my senses.

I allowed memories, the good and the bad, to take over my mind. From the first time I could ever remember hearing a harsh word leave my father's mouth to the day I left it all behind. From the moment I laid eyes on the one person I didn't know would change my life and everything we'd experienced since. I let the memories play out like a movie in my mind.

I let my eyes fall upon each of my friends—one by one—all of whom had played an integral part in my existence. They were all very important pieces that made up the very complicated puzzle of my life.

From Zexion who had been my pillar of strength and one true friend for so long to Kairi and Riku who taught me that looks and outside appearances can be deceiving. I looked to Sora who, through his eternal kindness and child-like innocence that remained despite everything, showed me that there's still a lot of good left in the world. I let my eyes fall upon Yuffie, whose lust for life and ability to make simple situations exciting, I envied. From Kadaj who was surprisingly normal but had a desire to make life interesting to Demyx who believed that there was good in everyone and taught me the powers of a perfectly decorated cupcake. I let my eyes rest on Cloud who proved to me that strength comes from the heart and that's the one source of power you can never count out. And there was Naminé, a beautiful person inside and out that I never bothered to notice, who taught me that jealousy never looks good on anyone and that amazing things really can come in the most unlikely packages.

Then there was the final piece. Roxas, with his impossibly blue eyes and golden blond hair, with his hypnotizing laughter and smiles that never failed to make my heart flutter. He was the one person in that room who had changed my life more than anyone or anything else ever could. He taught me more than I could ever put into words.

My life was one monotonous day after the other until he showed up and proved to me that it didn't have to be that way, that I could open myself up to love without having to be afraid. And yea, it might hurt sometimes, so badly that you might feel like you can't go on, but that doesn't mean you give up on it. And I know that I'm a better person for allowing myself to love and be loved in return.

Life is full of twists and turns and ups and downs, highs and lows, moments you never want to experience again and seconds you wish could last a lifetime. It can throw you curveballs when you least expect it and leave you cold and alone only pick you back up as if nothing bad had ever happened. The moment when you feel like all hope is gone could just very well be the moment when you find everything you've been looking for. The world is a crazy, beautiful, tragic, amazing place, and I'm just glad to be a part of it.

"Well," Zexion's voice broke me away from lingering thoughts. "What is it that we have that's so special?"

I looked down at Roxas who was smiling up at me and tightened my grip around his shoulders before I finally spoke up. "We have each other, and that's good enough for me."

Life is never perfect, but I wouldn't change it for a thing.

And finally it all comes to an end! I honestly can't believe how much time and hard work I've put into this story. After constantly writing and planning and thinking about it for a little over two months I think I'm going to feel kinda empty now that it's over lol. And I'm sure I've made countless mistakes, and there's probably a million and one ways that I could have written this story better, but all in all, I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It's still crazy to me how this all started out with one little idea I had about a cupcake shop and grew into so much more.

I really want to thank everyone for reading, favoriting and alerting this story. It blows my mind that so many people took an interest in it and I really appreciate everything. And, of course, a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed. I read every single one of them and your thoughts and opinions mean more to me than I can properly express.

:)