Another excruciating step, another shallow breath. My muscles ached with a soreness and fatigue I'd never known – I had to focus solely on walking, or I'd stop moving. My eyes felt tired, my limbs felt tired – I wanted to collapse and sleep for days. But I wanted to know that Riku was alright even more. It occurred to me, on several occasions, that it was a ludicrous notion, chasing after a boy who probably wouldn't even show up. It became painfully clear that the easiest path was to take a seat and wait for him to find me – after all, I was the one in pain – but I couldn't. Something inside me stirred with unrest, discontent, and wouldn't be satisfied until I had scoured every inch of this shore.

A cold figure lifted my arm over its head, tugging me along – I realized it was a neoshadow, and although my arm was killing me worse than ever, I was moving at a considerably quicker pace.

"You're a good helper," I mumbled.

"That's all I ever wanted to be for you."

My eyes widened at the neoshadow, whose voice sounded extremely akin to Orlando's – I had half a mind to tell him to bug off, but I knew he couldn't do me any damage.

"You weren't very helpful when you turned human," I muttered.

He swallowed. "I know. I think… I just got… selfish."

"…I know how that goes." I smiled a little at the neoshadow, though his eyes had been trained ahead of us all the while. "I'm glad we met, Orlando."

"Nah… I like 'Nemo' better." He came to a halt as we passed one more thicket, and shifted beneath my weight. "Can you stand on your own? I've got to go," he said hurriedly.

"Oh. Sure. Bye, Nemo."

"Bye, Miyuki. Thanks."

He disappeared inland, and I looked ahead and realized why he'd ditched. My breath, which was incredibly shallow, stopped entirely when I saw Riku and Sora sitting at the edge of the water. Sora sat between Riku and I, a letter in his hand, his giant stupid hair blocking my view of his best friend. I wanted desperately to call out to them, for them to see me, for them to recognize me, but I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I was shocked that they were here at all, and terrified of what they'd think of me. Combined with the torturous throbbing, I felt like they'd never notice me, standing there in the shadows.

A blinding white light appeared on the surface of the water before them, drawing their attention.

Riku's voice just reached my ears. "Light."

"The door to light," Sora mused. There was a brief pause, then he stood up, holding his hand out to Riku. "We'll go together," he said brightly.

My mouth opened and oh, how terribly I wanted to speak. I'd have given an arm and a leg if I could just get them to notice me, realize I was standing there. Riku's voice uttered a low agreement with Sora, and he stood up alongside him. They stepped towards the light and I felt a pang of loneliness hit me. He isn't looking for me at all? Not even a backwards glance? Doesn't he…? No, I'm sure I'm making things up. I'm sure. Actually, I was more certain that my life was over unless I caught up to Riku – not in the sense that I wouldn't survive, but in the sense that I wouldn't want to. I needed answers about a lot of things – I could feel sad about being left behind once I preserved my existence.

My feet kicked into high gear and I ignored the throbbing in my chest, booking it towards them as they stepped towards the light. They were swallowed up by it before I could reach them, their figures disappearing beneath the white glow. My eyes ached, my vision leaving me as I pushed myself towards it. My body was about to collapse. I could feel my muscles weakening, my knees buckling as I reached the door to light.

My feet slipped from beneath me and I crashed forward, my hands slamming into the water, splashing it into my blinded eyes. My arms wobbled beneath my weight, and my body shuddered with pain, a whimper forced from me.

What kind of sissy am I?

"The kind that refuses to realize the truth right in front of her," Xehanort hissed, suddenly standing directly at my right, seizing my nearest arm with one hand.

I lifted my head just enough to glare at him. "Don't," I croaked, my voice barely audible.

"He's left you, Miyuki. He knew darkness was in your heart – he had to know you'd end up here. Yet he never looked back."

"Sh… shut…" My voice wouldn't work properly. The throbbing became harsher and harsher, and I felt my body go limp, my head hanging, held up only by Xehanort's grip on my arm.

"Come. This is where you truly belong."

He tucked his hands beneath my arms and started tugging me towards the shore, and a flash of intuition ran across my mind. He was so desperate to control everything; he was so power-hungry… Who taught him that that was the only way to survive? Who made him feel like darkness was the only way? My breathing quickened, and I felt angry tears slip from my eyes as I forced my vocal chords to cooperate.

The scratchy growl escaping my throat didn't sound like my own. "What… happened?"

He halted in his tracks and his voice neared me, still holding me up, my toes dragging the ground. "What are you referring to?" he asked, rather politely.

"Why are you… trying to control me?" I took another shallow breath. "What's scaring you?"

That didn't seem to compute, because he was completely silent. After a long moment, he started tugging me up the shore again. The throbbing didn't go away as I spoke – in fact, it worsened – but something inside me was able to force the words out, and they wouldn't stop now.

"Ansem only wanted to keep you from getting hurt."

"He only wanted Aoki!"

He knew Aoki? "Why is that wrong?"

I was hoisted into the air over his head and he glared up at me. "He took her from me."

"Maybe she wasn't yours," I whispered.

He grit his teeth, his eyes narrowing with what I took as sorrow, and I was thrown onto the shore, my side burrowing into the harsh, gritty sand, my nose beginning to bleed. "Why didn't she love me?" Xehanort shouted.

"Why can't you let her go?"

He stared at me a long moment, his chest heaving with each breath. "Why can't you let that boy go?"

"If I know he doesn't want me, I will." Somewhere in the back of my mind, I marveled at how my entire body could feel like shit, but my mouth still worked. "She isn't the only one who cared," I said.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head. "She… I don't…"

"I don't know what happened," I whispered. "I don't know why you act this way…" My voice was dying again, and I struggled to make the words sound as earnest as I meant them. Whatever made him feel as though he had to manipulate people to be happy – no one deserved that. "I care about you, Xehanort."

He gaped at me a moment, a confused expression slowly turning furious. "You need to leave," he muttered.

He stepped towards me and for a moment, I thought he was going to crush me as I laid there – but he grabbed me by my shoulders, tugging me upright and chucking me backwards into the door of light.

The burning, searing sensation that darkness brought on couldn't compare to the invigorating, clean feeling of light sinking into my skin. I fell backwards and the same sensation of stopping – not hitting anything, just stopping – ensued, and I felt flames of both kinds swarming around me. The throbbing died down, my eyes adjusted to the light – instead of seeing black, as darkness displayed, I saw… nothing. I was in a state of limbo, in between light and darkness – in between being human, and being a heartless.

I hadn't exactly heard the voice, the words were just there – like a stray thought had suddenly returned, though I hadn't thought it. I felt something inside my chest swell as I recognized the voice as Mom's. "I am proud of who you are."

The dark flames twisted up and around my torso, sliding into my mouth like a breath of fresh, freezing air – I felt the fire of light tug me forward, and all at once, I was falling. From cleansing flames, to a blast of warm air, to wind whipping around me, I was cascading downwards at a velocity that should've horrified me. The height I must've been dropped from had to have been at least three times the height of the skyscraper, which had nearly made me crap in my pants. But free-falling felt harmless; in fact, I felt livened, refreshed by the harsh wind, the warm sun.

I hit the surface of the ocean with a deafening splash, and savored every moment immersed beneath the cool, friendly water. I found my way back to the surface and took a deep breath, catching sight of the shore and swimming towards it as quickly as I could. The second my feet the gritty ocean floor, I lurched to my feet and scanned the dry land for silver hair, teal eyes. The waves caressed my waist, trying to coax me back into their cool embrace – but they weren't the embrace I was aching for. My eyes scanned the shore and saw nothing but sand and trees – they snapped to the miniature island across the bridge, and still, no one.

I took a full, deep breath and tried to calm myself. It wasn't working. I waded up to shore, crossing my arms against my chest – I was in my tank top, red hoodie, green cargo pants. I pulled off the hoodie and tied it around my waist – I was soaked to the skin. I circled the island, looking for any sign of them – there was none.

"They must be at the mainland," I muttered to myself, walking over to the rowboat on the dock. "They have to be." If the door to light spat me out here, it had to have spit them out here.

I doubted there had ever been a longer boat trip in the history of mankind. Not only did I worry that I wouldn't find them, I worried that they didn't want me to find them. After an eternity of concern that I hadn't experienced since my last visit to this island, I tied the boat to the dock with a knot that could only be untied using a knife, I scrambled down the street, scanning each alley, each window for a familiar face. Twice I thought I saw Sora – three times, I thought I saw Kairi – but when I saw these peoples' faces clearly, I knew it wasn't them. There was a throbbing in my chest and I clutched my hand to my breastbone, praying for it to wait until I'd found them to act up. However, it just grew worse and worse, and I felt tears pool in my eyes.

"Please, please show up," I hissed. "Please, please…"

My feet found the path leading past my old address – but the downtown area, where I'd spent most of my time as a child, was on a street that passed mine altogether. The sleeve of my hoodie was being rung dry by fidgety hands as tired, nervous tears dripped down my cheek. Finally, I reached the shopping area downtown, and swallowed hard. Three storefronts down, on the left. A red and white striped awning, a giant ice cream cone sign.

The shop came into view and the throbbing pounded through every vein, so harshly that I could barely hear or feel anything. I pulled the door open and stepped inside. Please be here. Please. I don't know where else to look.

There was no one in the shop but a grumpy-looking old man behind the counter, who shot me a look as I entered. I swallowed hard and walked to the table I last recalled my father sitting at, taking the seat I'd taken so many years ago. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and folded my arms on the table, staring at the empty chair before me. I could picture him clearly; each crinkle at the corner of his eyes as he smiled, the rumpled, ratty t-shirt he'd worn to work that day, the scruff on his chin. I could imagine his words, hear them in my mind, and couldn't help but mumble them as they ran through my head.

"In this life, our choices usually fall under two categories – the coward's choice, and the honest man's choice."

I'm afraid of losing Riku, and there's no way to confront that. I don't know what to do.

Hopelessness settled in, and I laid my head on my arms.

I don't care if he never wanted to look for me. I don't care if he hates me for trying to hurt him and Sora. I don't care, just as long as I know he's okay.

I heard someone shuffle beside my table, and my eyes snapped up, a sliver of hope piping up. Grey hair greeted me, but it was that of the old man that had been behind the counter. He was glaring down at me, offering me a chocolate ice cream cone.

"Girls like chocolate," he stated.

"Girls like chocolate," I echoed, nodding. "But I'm broke."

"On the house. Eat," he commanded. I took the cone from him and he walked back behind the counter, turning his back to me and standing there motionlessly.

I turned my attention to the ice cream cone in my right hand and tried to feel happy as I ate it. Normally I would be elated to have chocolate ice cream, but there's something about eating alone that makes one feel absolutely deserted. That, and the fact that the throbbing was still intense, and pain made it difficult to enjoy my frozen treat. I ended up staring blankly at the chair in front of me as the ice cream melted, wishing I could pinch myself and wake up from this nightmare. I don't want to be home if he isn't.

Suddenly I was gripped with a whole new fear – what if he never made it out of the door to light? What if that nothingness I felt, that simple, calm nothingness, had taken hold of him?

There was another shuffle behind me, and I glanced down at the ice cream in my hand to see the cone crushed in the fist I'd made, ice cream gushing over my knuckles.

"Excuse me. Do you see a young lady sitting there?"

The warm, stern, soft-spoken voice caught my attention, and I dropped my ice cream on the table as my eyes caught sight of the boy standing at the counter, talking to the man behind it.

"She's staring right at ya," the old man snapped, glaring over his shoulder at him and turning away again as Riku walked over to me.

He sat down across from me, staring at my ice-cream covered hand as I gazed at his bright teal irises, praying for him to make eye contact. Slowly, deliberately, he reached across the table with his left hand and swiped his index finger across my knuckles. The throbbing halted the second his skin brushed against mine – it was replaced with what I recognized as a pulse. He brought his index finger to his mouth and licked the ice cream off, his gaze ever-steady on my hand. I waited for him to speak – I didn't have to wait long.

"I was so sure that I killed you."

I was totally thrown by this. "Why?"

He brought his eyes up to mine. "I was looking for you at the foot of the tower. I thought a heartless had come up behind me, so I turned and destroyed it with the Keyblade. But it was you. Maleficent said you were a heartless, and the Keyblade destroys heartless."

"You didn't look for me in the Realm of Darkness because you didn't think I was there," I whispered, mostly to myself.

"You were in the Realm of Darkness?"

I nodded. "I must've teleported myself there before I hit the ground." I swallowed. "I wanted darkness so badly that I would've hurt anyone. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Riku. I am so sorry."

He snorted softly. "Everything I've done to you, and you're apologizing for an almost-injury?"

"Past mistakes have nothing to do with this."

"I know, I'm just…" A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "I'm so glad you're here."

I smiled. "Me, too." I looked down at the mess that was my hand. "I should clean up," I said, looking back up at him.

"I'll be here," he said, nodding once, sharply.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom, shooting a glance at the back of his head as the old man walked over to clean up the table. A fear and uncertainty rose in me as I stepped into the bathroom and washed my hands. As I reached for the handle of the door to exit again, I saw my hand trembling. If I opened this door… If I saw my father on the floor…

Heeding his words and confronting what had me so unsettled, I stepped back into the dining room to see Riku standing two feet away.

"I don't like not seeing you," he said.

"Were you waiting there the whole time?" I asked, eyebrows lifting just a bit.

"No," he said, perfectly serious. He glanced sideways, then focused back on me. "Yes," he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just… want to be sure this isn't a figment of my imagination."

I glanced over at the old man – he must've been in the back. I brought my eyes to Riku's and hooked my arms around his neck, whispering in his ear. "I am my own person." I kissed his cheek and stepped back, crossing my arms and smiling at him. "Tell me what happened after you beat Maleficent while we go to the island."

We stepped out of the parlor, walking side-by-side down the street as he explained that he didn't defeat Maleficent – he ditched her to find Sora and help him defeat the Organization. He said that Ansem tried unsuccessfully to turn Kingdom Hearts into data, and it turned him back to normal. He said Roxas and Naminé rejoined Sora and Kairi, and Kairi got home before he or Sora could, and nobodies started wreaking havoc on the World That Never Was. They defeated Xemnas, but not before Riku took a harsh shot for Sora and had to rely on him to move around, and they ended up in the Realm of Darkness, finding their way home through the door of light – two days ago.

I sat down on the edge of the dock, eyebrows knitting. "Two days?"

"Two days." He sat on my left, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. I mimicked his position when he nudged me with his elbow and said, "Your turn. What happened?"

I took a deep breath before I ran through everything – Ansem's words of encouragement, Nemo helping me along the shore, watching them leave, the conversation with Xehanort… When I finally finished, he looked extremely thoughtful.

"What?" I asked warily.

"It sounds like… I could be wrong, but it sounds like… You had the throbbing pain when I got hit by Xemnas."

My eyebrows popped up at him. "That's…" Remnants of my heart, which is connected to yours, aching because you were hurt…?

"…And I think…" He stared at the water below, rubbing the back of his neck. "…your heart must have hidden in mine. Darkness doesn't give hearts back. How else could you still be alive?"

I stared at him for a long moment, waiting until he peeked up at me from beneath his bangs to speak. "Admit it, Batman. You just want to be the savior."

He rolled his eyes. "I think you just have a self-image complex, Robin. Excuse me for trying to make sense of all this."

"In all seriousness, though… I think you're right," I said.

"Yeah?" he said quietly.

I took his hand and held his fingertips against the crook my neck, against my pulse point. I wanted to laugh at the shade of red his face was now tinted with, but seeing him respond that way turned my cheeks just as rosy.

"Looks like I was a safe enough place to keep it," he muttered.

"You are my safe place."

Those words sounded much less dramatic in my head, but no less true. His lips curved into a small smile. "And for the first time in two days, I'm home again."

My hand dropped to my side, but he slid his to the edge of my chin, turning my face towards his. It suddenly felt very silent and very private – Xehanort was gone, there was no reminder that we'd have to get up early and go look for Sora, and there was no one around for at least a two-mile radius. Heart pounding in my ears, face turning completely red, I stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He smiled amusedly at me, and gently brought his lips to mine, just barely connecting them, our eyes drifting shut. His fingers traced a line down my throat, resting in the hollow at the base of my neck. The heel of his hand rested against my breastbone, and he tilted his forehead against mine, eyes opening to look at me again.

"Did I mention that my house is still intact?" he asked.

"Subtle," I scoffed.

"What? No, I just meant that—"

I turned my voice to a deep, mocking bass tone. "'This is my couch. It's really comfortable. And this is my bedroom. Look how cozy the bed is.'"

"Hey, I was just trying to keep you from spending unnecessary munny at the inn."

"Right, right," I said incredulously. "Of course you were." I broke away from him and stood up on the edge of the dock. "So what now?" I asked, giving him a hand as he stood up, himself.

"What do you mean 'what now'?"

"I mean… What do we do? We're back home…" I looked towards the mainland, hooking my thumbs in my pockets. "We should probably… I don't know, get jobs?" something dark on the surface of the ocean caught my eye, and I was too busy trying to figure out what it was to pay attention to what Riku said. I turned and leaned over the edge of the dock, squinting at the mystery item. Thirty feet away, and the light bouncing off the water made it impossible to see it properly. Twenty feet away, and I could almost make out the shape – a rectangle, I thought. Ten feet away, and I knelt at the edge of the dock, leaning down to grab it. I could hardly believe it – it was my messenger bag.

I pulled it out of the water, backing up to lay it on the dock in front of me.

"Your bag?" Riku muttered.

I opened it carefully, praying that the water hadn't damaged anything. To my relief, the entire inside of the bag was completely dry – including my sketchbook. I pulled it out and grinned at the sketch of Aerith, Squall, Yuffie, Cid, and myself. I held it up towards Riku.

"Aerith drew this," I said proudly.

"Pretty good," Riku said, nodding.

I smiled at the sketch of Mom before shutting the sketchbook, with Aerith's work inside it. I stuffed the sketchbook back into the bag and slung it over my shoulder, standing up and smiling at Riku.

"We'll figure something out," I said.

"Yeah," he agreed. Something occurred to him, and he walked up towards the mini-island, a look in his eye I couldn't quite place. "Yeah, we will," he muttered, half to himself.

"What're you doing?" I asked warily, following him closely. He never answered, and I only stopped following him when he jumped onto the sideways tree, snagging a paopu off the end and chucking it to me. It hit me upside the head and I fumbled it in the air a few times before catching it with my right hand and shooting him a look.

"I'm kind of hungry," he said, the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face as he stepped back onto land, standing directly to my left.

"Again, subtle," I said, waving it in his face. "Clocking a girl upside the head isn't the way to win her affections."

"Really? It used to work all the time," he said with mock thoughtfulness.

I glanced down at his right hand, which had secured itself around my waist, and arched an eyebrow at him. "Don't think I don't see what you're doing," I said.

"Ah, so I have your attention," he said victoriously, and fixed his attention on the paopu fruit, laying his left hand over my right and holding the fruit up in front of us. "Who takes the first bite?"

"You. I don't trust it."

He snorted. "What, you think it might bite back?"

"Hey, there's no guarantee it tastes as good as it did in the dream."

"Oh sure, make me the guinea pig."

"That's my plan. Dig in, Batman."

He tilted the star horizontally and brought it towards his face. My hand was pinned between his and the paopu, the heel of my palm cradling the corner of the fruit he now bit into. His lower lip grazed my hand and he pulled back slowly, looking very thoughtfully at the chunk he'd left out as juice ran down my wrist.

"Hmmm." He swallowed and pulled the paopu towards him again. I assumed he was going to take another bite, and felt my face turn entirely pink when he pressed his lips against my wrist, his tongue slipping against my skin, lifting the juice off my wrist. My heart slammed in my ears and I was almost certain that the rush of blood and hormones were going to cause brain damage. He pulled back, his left hand trailing down my right arm as his right hand tugged me closer to him. "It's not bad," he said quietly.

No verbal response formed in my mind – the most sensible thing I seemed capable of was to take a bite of the paopu, which I did now. Another corner of the fruit was chewed off and I recognized the almost-strawberry-but-not-quite flavor. My eyes trailed down to Riku's left hand, which was gently turning me by my elbow until the only thing separating us was the hand holding the paopu.

"Well?" he whispered, leaning his mouth down to my ear, warm breath spilling down my neck, his lips brushing against my skin. "What do you think?"

My hand dropped the paopu and wrapped around the edge of his vest, pushing him back just slightly and pressing my lips against his. He exhaled sharply and his grip tightened around me, pulling me closer to him, my back bowing as he deepened the kiss.

"Eek! Oh, now you've asked for it!" squealed Kairi threateningly from the distance.

The shock that these two had actually reached the island without mine or Riku's knowledge resulted in him snapping away from me, instantly three feet from me, crossing his arms indifferently. I stumbled backwards, rubbing the back of my neck, looking down at the shore to see Sora and Kairi waist-deep in the water by the dock, splashing one another.

"Oh, so she wasn't yelling at us," I said with relief, still stepping back nervously. My heel hooked on a weed and I tumbled backwards over the edge of the island, my back smacking the surface of the water with a loud snap. Water rushed into my ears and I scrambled onto my side, getting to my feet as quickly as possible. I was soaked once again.

I wiped my face with one hand and looked up to say, "I'm fine!" when I realized that no one was peeking over the edge, checking on me. I waited for a face to appear – I glanced around to see if anyone had come around the edge of the island to see if I was alright – nothing. I spent the next few minutes scanning the shore for a rock to throw at Riku for ditching me in my time of need, and found only a handful of pebbles. Clutching them with a death grip, voices conversing overhead, I waded over to the ladder on the other side of the mini-island and clambered up it. I peeked over the edge with a glare and found Sora holding a large piece of paper, Riku and Kairi on either side of him, all three reading intently. I had second thoughts about the handful of pebbles and tossed them into the ocean behind me, clambering up onto the land.

"Thanks for making sure I'm okay, there, Riku!" I snapped.

Sora and Kairi gaped at me and Riku looked confused.

"What? It's not my fault you decided to ditch!" he retorted.

"I didn't ditch, I fell!"

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"But you were dead!" Sora said confusedly. "How…?"

"He killed a heartless that looked like me. Not me," I said, pointing at Riku.

"That's so great!" Kairi said, grinning. "Welcome home, Miyuki!"

I snuck a glance at Riku before returning my gaze to her and smiling. "Thanks." I walked over and leaned across Riku, peering at the paper, purposefully blocking his view of it. "What's this?"

"Letter from the King," Sora answered.

"Ooh! Exciting."

Riku grabbed the top of my head and pulled it out of his way. "Bad window, good door," he said, shooting me a dark look.

I took note of his hand discreetly winding around my hip. "Sorry, Batman, just wanted to see what our new adventure was."

This should've made me nervous, or feel exhausted, or wish the King's letter had gotten lost. Another adventure, so soon after getting home… My ignorant side said it was too much to handle, leaving home again so soon. But the rest of me protested that my home was Riku, and it wouldn't take a paopu fruit to guarantee that our destinies would be intertwined. After all, every superhero could use a sidekick… and Riku seemed up to the task.

A BIG THANKS TO:

Xenia-Merlo

stifledcreativity

Kanika Meskhenet

PyroScorpion

Sarah K.R.

BabyBumblebee17

Kaiyt

Taeniaea

Noodlesoodles34

Luthien Eriol

xDarkMelodiesx

Sookdeo

blackbeltgirl95

Koryu Elric

Angie-ange

Arista Lycoris

Mirror Rain

Verv

Disney Destini

Ghostress

Pomegranata

xcrescentxmoonx

LoveTheCrazy

jennyz

NellyLove

ovenfreshh

burry and bunny

ichixichigo

14darkness

an1995616

Azura Soul Reaver

Bubblegum Crisis

A Fish That Has A Secret Wish

Ella Kinkari

Mezwantzvgs

rzhollis

Katarina Vi Britannia

Adorkable93

Crimson Solitude of the Moon

Yaoi-Beloved

ChaosAngel4us

Soulless Ghosty

santa (I'm sorry I ever said I didn't believe in you, btw.)

Demented Girl Child

MikaUchiha666

TheBeginningsEnd

Random-Crap-To-The-Rescue

Siean Horoc

moe lester

piefruitlovrmonkey

kenegi

Jessa

BeautifulShadowsKeybearer1317

Kallissa

Libraxreminiscentdreamer15

tiredgirl

Haylensia

thatredheadedchick

LadyxHydrangea

Axel Girl

LadyOfTheBlackWaters

SoulSilverShipping

MisterMagical

IHateKate

Aereyia Hikari

And most importantly, Tetsuya Nomura, for making such a brilliant story.