Matt's POV

Scrubbing cat piss out of carpet isn't really as easy as it sounds. Nor is it as pleasant-smelling as it sounds(does that make sense?). Nor is it funny(because my poor baby just got defiled by urine and you choose to laugh at me?). My point is, I don't think anyone would even find it as a remotely good idea to spend your night.

I guess I should be thankful that it's not cold out, though. I had to roll down the windows in an attempt to get some fresh air(because suffocating in cat pee is... You know what? Never mind.) as I cleaned up the carpet as best as I could with a burning ankle and a slightly swollen forehead.

"Old women," I huffed under my breath as I scrubbed harder. "You can rot in hell for all I care- Argh, damn it!" -Matt accidentally loses his balance and lurches forward, thus placing his hand on a damp spot of cat pee in the process.

-Matt decides to dump the rest of the soap on the stain.

-Matt angrily shoves a black carpet on top of it.

"There," I panted. "Done." With that, I chucked the rag I'd been using out the window. I didn't hesitate in pouring practically the whole bottle of hand sanitizer(which had conveniently been found in the dashboard by yours truly) on my palm and rubbing my hands together until they were bright red.

This isn't right.

I'm supposed to be in a post-date haze, swooning over the fact that Mello and I had been this close to kissing(SCREW YOU NEAR), and not being slightly sore in the forehead because an egg carton full of eggs had been thrown at me by- Guess who? Cloud, right after we went out for some fantastic ice cream. As much as I'd like that to happen(minus the egg part), no, you dumbass, Cloud did not throw a carton of eggs at me. It was Mrs. P. Yep. Even after I ever-so-nicely returned her cat, which, did I mention, relieved herself in my car.

I opened the car door and half-crawled out onto the pavement. After sliding my goggles back down to cover my eyes, I snatched the rag from the ground and went to go back inside. I rubbed my forehead with my free hand; who knew egg cartons hurt so much?

I winced as the memory came back.

"Hey, Mrs. P?" With some effort, I managed to knock on the door. A simple task such as that gets quite difficult when you're trying to hold up a possibly two hundred pound cat.

"Who's there?" she croaked.

I looked into the peephole and saw her eye peering out back at me. "Matt," I replied. I hoisted up Snuckumpuss so she'd be able to see her. "I have your...cat." Snuckumpuss hissed and scratched at my arm. "Stupid cat!" I hissed back. "I'm trying to return you to your owner, for god's sake!"

Snuckumpuss managed to do this weird head-turning thingy, eyes narrowed to slits at me. I looked at her in wonder, finding that she resembled Mrs. P slightly. Weird.

"Oh, Matthew," Mrs. P said, tone switching as she opened the door. She was smiling, revealing a mouth that lacked several teeth. "You've brought Snuckumpuss." She opened her arms wide to receive her cat, and that's when I noticed the carton of eggs in the crook of her elbows.

"Are you making scrambled eggs?" I asked, trying to make conversation as I hauled the cat into her arms.

"Scrambled eggs?" Mrs. P echoed. Her eyes got this distant look, and for a second I was worried that she was falling into a coma or something. But then, in a lightning quick movement, she slapped me.

"Ow," I mumbled with a pout, rubbing my cheek tenderly. My childish was being brought out, so don't blame me if I just stood there like a five-year-old, pouting and rubbing my face. Besides, that woman could slap, no matter how many decades old she is.

"Devil!" Mrs. P screeched, moving forward to hit me again. Snuckumpuss meowed and jumped down to the floor, scurrying away as fast as she could. "Devil! Away! Away!" She took out a cross and waved it in front of my face.

"Okay, I'll leave! Jesus!" I cried, turning tail and fleeing.

I sighed, flopping back onto my couch. This just-friends thing was killing me, although it's only been, what? Two days? I'm normally docile, but with Mello...I don't know. And I only say that because I don't want to finish that sentence with something cliche...

I sighed forlornly once more. If Near hadn't interrupted us with that stupid text, I'd have kissed Mello, whether he wanted to or not. And no, it would not be rape because he likes me and therefore he'd like it.

Right?

But wait-

Didn't he-

Yes, a voice said in my head. He did lean forward too. He was going to let it happen!

So this means...

Yes, it means he might still like you, too, you dolt, so do something before that changes!

Normally, I'd put in something sarcastic here, but like the voice inside my head said, I needed to make a move, and fast.

x

I was pumped. Not only did I have an amazing plan, but I was also sure that it would work perfectly. In about five minutes, Mello was going to walk through the doors of Justice, right on time. I was going to be waiting for him near the cashiers, and when he takes his place next to me, I'll grab him and rape his mouth.

Ahem.

I meant, 'kiss him.'

(DON'T JUDGE ME)

I anxiously looked at the pink clock that hung on the wall above me. Two more minutes. Almost there, just a little while... Oh great, of all times, my bladder has to act up now?

"Hey Misa," I said, motioning for her to come over.

Misa finished folding the shirt she was holding before bounding over to me. "What is it, Matty?" she asked brightly.

I glanced at the clock again. "If I'm not here when Mello arrives, can you tell him that I need to talk to him?" I said, leg twitching slightly in an urge to find the bathroom. "It's really important. Tell him that, too."

Misa gave me a salute, smiling brightly. "Will do!" she said with a sharp nod.

"Thanks," I got out, and then I was running to the bathroom.

Seven minutes later, I strolled into Justice and came upon the end of the world. Just kidding. It was Mello and Near talking to each other. But Mello was giggling, presumably at something that Near said, and his cheeks were even that cute shade of pink. As you can see, it might as well be the end of the world.

Before I could decide to step in and demand what was going on, Mello handed Near his plastic bag and the albino went trotting away. Finding this as my chance to confront Mello, I stormed over to the counter.

"Oh, Matt," Mello said, acknowledging my presence.

"What were you and Near talking about?" I asked, praying that I sounded casual.

Mello raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Maybe it's none of your business," he said. "Jeez, Matt, jealous much?" After that last part, his face turned red in embarrassment; maybe he hadn't said it on purpose?

Whether or not he did, I was blushing too. "I'm not! I just wanted to know what you were talking about," I said heatedly. "I mean, you-" I cut myself off. I had no idea what Mello's relationship with Near was, so who was I to assume that they weren't dating? "You know, if you're seeing Near..." I mumbled, my emotions compelling me to say the words.

"What did you say?" Mello said, suddenly sounding cross.

"N-nothing," I said quickly. Oh crapcrapcrapcrap-

"This really isn't helping the whole just-friends situation," Mello said, crossing his arms and looking at me. "Spit it out."

What do you say in this situation? Please, if this happens to be some story or fanfiction or some shit like that, HELP ME. "I didn't say anything!" I said defensively. "And you yelling at me isn't helping either, you know."

"I'm not yelling," Mello said flatly.

Insert face-palm here.

"Just drop it?" I said hopefully. Pleasepleaseplease-

Mello rolled his eyes, turning to a girl who was checking out some shirts. I watched as he rung up the items and hand the girl her shopping bag. "Are you going to keep staring or are you going to help that boy over there?" he asked me some time later.

"Huh?" I blinked and turned. Oh, he was right. A little boy, about nine years old, smiled cheekily up at me.

"I'm buying these for my sister's birthday!" he chirped, putting two hats on the counter. "Mommy let me buy her a present. I'm a big boy." He even produced some dollar bills and handed them to me. Aw. How cute.

"Good for you, kid," I said with a smile, ringing up his items and putting them in Justice's official shopping bag. I handed it to him, saying, "There you go."

"Thank you, mister!" the boy said, before leaving.

"How cute," Mello said pointedly. "But we're still not done. What did you say?" Jeez, he was persistent.

"I told you, nothing!" I exclaimed. "Why do you want to know, anyway?" And why are you in such a bad mood today? Don't you know that I managed to make it here five freaking minutes early just to put my plan into action?

"Fine, whatever," Mello growled, successfully sending shivers up my spine. "Sorry if I was trying to be friendly and caring for whatever you mis-interpreted what Near and I were talking about." He slammed the cash register's drawer close and promptly left Justice.

"Fuck," I muttered, slamming my fist down on the counter. "And to think that ten minutes ago I was hoping to kiss him... Now I just want to- Ugh." I went over to Misa. "Can you cover for me?" I said tiredly. "I...forgot my vest at home." Yeah, I'm weary enough to think of that lame excuse. Can you blame me? Never mind. Please don't.

"Of course!" Misa said brightly. "Anything to help out a friend!"

"Thanks, Misa."

In the end, I found myself walking down the sidewalk towards that convenience store where I bought the Final Fantasy game. Why? I don't know. My car was- Shit, I don't think I even remember where I left it... And I'm pretty sure my goggles are on upside-down...

I don't care.

This is what you do to me, Mello. Do you see this? Screw you.

I don't need this. I really don't need this.

Mello's POV

For the record, I was not flirting with Near, have never flirted with Near and will never flirt with Near. That boy is creepy and so, so, so not my type. So before you immediately jump to side with mister overreact over there (read: Matt) hear me out.

This is really what went down:

I had come right on time for once, since – to be honest – I was trying not to run into Matt. It wasn't that I was avoiding him, it was just that I wasn't sure what I wanted to say to him just yet. The previous night had been… I didn't really have the word for it, some weird, mutated cross-breed of amazing, embarrassing, hilarious, annoying, beautiful, and upsetting. Sounds crazy, but that's just how it was. Though honestly, I wasn't at all surprised at all when Matt wasn't in the store when I got there – he was always late after all, and yesterday's miracle had expired.

So I just sat there at the counter, helping a relatively steady stream of teen girls and their obnoxious/stressed-out parents whilst waiting for a familiar face to pop in through the doorway. However (much to my disappointment) the familiar face wasn't Matt but Near.

I shouldn't have been surprised, really, since he seems to be the guy who strolls in and fucks everything up all the time but still I found myself blinking stupidly at Near as he strolled over to the counter.

Still, when he looked up at me, presumably to speak, I recovered and cut him off with a domineering smirk: "Hey, sheep, what's up in your fluffy little world? Here for something? I heard the puffy pink purses are on sale."

Near blinked at me blankly, clearly not understanding the meaning of "sarcastic humor" considering his reply was only, "No, actually, my world is quite hard. My roommate refuses to install carpet."

My smirk faltered, raising an eyebrow. (Note: I do have eyebrows you know, they're just very pale and under my bangs, jeez.) When I didn't seem to be able to find a response for that, Near continued to speak, aimlessly fiddling with one of the objects at the cheap little counter-shelf. "Well, I am actually here to talk to you. Well, to talk to you on behalf of Halle Linder, who at this moment is halfway across the state with Stephen – only God knows what they're doing."

The totally-there eyebrows arched higher and I leant forward on the counter, ignoring the fact that I'm sure I looked like one of those stupid high-school girls (my feet got tired sometimes too, okay?) and replying, "And what exactly did she have you go over here to tell me that she couldn't tell me over the phone?"

Near blinked, looking slightly flustered for just a moment before regaining his emotionless mask. "I am uncertain as to the actual meaning behind this, but she says…" He looks down at his hand, and I have to struggle not to laugh at the fact that she's used his arm as paper. "She says, and I quote, 'Hoes before bros, you owe me a spa night' and also" – his face flushes at this – "to use a condom."

Okay, I can't help it. I started laughing. It wasn't so much Halle's words so much as it was the fact that Near was saying it. Seriously, can you even imagine Near saying condom? There's just something about that that got to me, and I started laughing like a crazy person. Or, rather, giggling like a little pansy schoolgirl, but leave me alone I was in a good mood.

Was being the keyword, since as soon as Near shuffled away with a mutter of "she better have that Glee merchandise she promised me for this" Matt swooped in, a very... possessive look on his face.

That was the word for it, too. Possessive. I knew the look because I'd seen it before, plastered on a too-familiar face, and now that it was on Matt's it startled me, a scrambled, "Oh, Matt!" escaping my lips.

He didn't seem to notice how frazzled I was at all, since he just leaned on the counter with this false-casual expression on his face, only barely masking the suspicious, possessive look that freaked me out so much. "What were you and Near talking about…?" he ventures, trying to seem uncaring.

I felt the words coming to my lips before I could stop them. "Maybe it's none of your business," I ended up saying blatantly, my eyes narrowing defensively before I can stop them. I really hadn't meant it the way it came out, but still they came spewing out (word vomit, that's what it was – thank you, Mean Girls [shut up, I'm gay]). The expression on Matt's face twisted slightly from casual/possessive to disappointed/unhappy. The words kept coming in response: "Jeez, Matt, jealous much?"

Wait, shit. No. We were suppose to just be friends, weren't we? Shit shit shit... cue becoming a human tomato (read: blushing). Luckily enough Matt was blushing too, his words coming out flustered and confused, as if he were having an inner conflict with himself: "I'm not! I just wanted to know what you were talking about. I mean, you-" Pause. Then, cue stupid-le-blurt-mumble: "You know, if you're seeing Near…"

SEEING NEAR? Did he seriously suggest that? After everything I'd done, flirting with him, calling him Nice-Ass at every opportunity, going on an almost-date (friend date, whatever, kiss my [extremely attractive] ass), kissing him once, almost kissing him twice.. he thought I was seeing someone?

Cue more word vomit: "What did you say?" I growled crossly.

Matt suddenly looked even more flustered than before, face turning an adorable shade of pink. At least, I would have found it adorable if he wasn't acting like such a loser. "N-nothing!"

The word vomit was getting worse, but I couldn't help it – the possessiveness had been there and, as loser-ish as it was, I could feel my defensiveness building up, crossing my arms over my chest. "This really isn't helping the 'just friends' situation," I told him, narrowing my eyes. "Spit it out."

"Yelling at me isn't helping either, you know," he countered. He was right, or would be if I had been fucking yelling. I told him as much, except in less profane terms. He face-palmed at me (is it acceptable [read: in bitchy-gay-man terms] to slap someone for that?), but then just said, "Just drop it?

I rolled my eyes and turned to another customer, but really, I wanted to drop it. I really, really did.

Why am I such a bitch?

After Matt tore his eyes away from me and helped a little boy (who was absolutely adorable as was Matt [if he wasn't acting like an ass that is] and in any other situation I would be wishing I had a camera) I ended up shooting him the question again.

"How cute," I said pointedly, flipping my hair over my shoulder and giving him a look. "But… we're still not done. What did you say?" Er, mean. I did hear him… whatever, fuck that.

He looked annoyed, voice going from a flustered mutter to an irritated exclamation. It would be over dramatic to say that his words pierced my heart with their sharp shards of hurtfulness (I'm not poetic, I know) but it certainly did hurt when he shouted: "I told you, nothing! Why do you want to know, anyway?"

At the moment, I didn't really think. Didn't think about how adorable and sweet Matt was, didn't think about how just minutes earlier I had wanted to greet him with a hug and proclaim him my b-f-f-l, and just hours earlier I had been ready to kiss him (screw you, Near), nor how he was absolutely nothing like my first and last steady boyfriend. I just went on defensive mode, growled something I don't even remember that really wasn't the reason I was angry anyway, and left Justice without a word.

It hadn't been my shift anyway. I'd taken Linda's shift to see him.

X

Most assholes would go straight to the nearest alcoholic-beverage serving vicinity when they were under the kind of stress I was in. Most smarties would go work out, run out all the stressful toxins out of their body. Most tree-huggers would go do some yoga shit. Most dorks would go home and "PWN sum n00bs COD" or some shit like that.

Being the psycho gay man that I am, I end up at Starbucks, downing my third chocolate mocha and spilling my heart out to a barista I don't even know.

"I don't even… I'm such an asshole, you know? I mean, Jesus, he's a total sweetheart and I feel like I led him on… I shouldn't have just immediately assumed he wasn't going to be a possessive bastard just because he asked me why I was talking to Nate, right?" I was spewing, throwing back another swig of chocolaty/coffee goodness. I wasn't really prone to talking to strangers (I find people annoying) especially not about my personal life, but I didn't really have anyone else to talk to and the barista (a petite, perky looking Japanese teen with long dark brown hair and soft eyes) had been there to listen.

Said girl, whose name she'd said was Sayu, nodded understandingly at me, putting on a look of sympathy. I knew she didn't really care as much about my problems as the fact that I was a very attractive gay man (I'd played the game in high school, I know most chicks love us) but she was listening for real, and understood what I was talking about well enough, replying, "Sure, sure, but he knows you have commitment issues, right? You said you told him."

"Yeah."

"Then he should understand that – he's not your boyfriend, and he can't expect you to act loyal to him if you're not even dating, and anyway you he didn't even ask for explanation as to why you were talking to the Nate guy, right?" I nod again, looking at Sayu as she animatedly tosses her hands around with her words – she sounds like a teen advice column come to life.
"So there you have it! You're BOTH assholes!" Or maybe not.

As not-helpful as that comment was, I find myself laughing into my chocolate-mocha, shaking my head at her. I wasn't one to talk to people, like I said, but this girl was relatively entertaining even though I had terrified her when I first stormed in (I guess shrieking "I NEED CHOCOLATE AND COFFEE, GOD DAMMIT, GET IT BEFORE I SHOOT YOUR FACE OFF" at her wasn't the best first impression…) and made good company whilst ranting, even if she was just using me as her own personal gay-man.

"You know what?" Sayu is saying, brushing her hair behind her ear, "I bet he really was jealous. He's a guy, and they tend to get kind of stupidly jealous for no reason, uh-" She giggles nervously. "No offense."

"Pff, none taken," I tell her, shaking my head and downing chocolate. Wow, I was being friendly, wasn't I? Well, she did get me coffee/chocolate (double points!) and I tended to be overly friendly at random moments to get over the fact that I was the biggest asshole on the planet.

"But seriously, though – he did say he loved you, right?" Sayu inquires, poking my elbow. I blinked at her, startled, but nod. Before I can even try to say but I think he was kidding she's talking again, "Well then of course he'd be jealous! That's what it is." She grins, seeming very happy with herself. "Therefore, you should talk to him…" she blinks. "Oh, but only if you want to spend time with him anymore. If you don't and/or he's actually just a dickhead you should probably kick him in the balls and run the next time he approaches."

I almost spit out my chocolate-mocha laughing right then, earning a stare from the elderly couple at the next table over and a wide grin from Sayu. Once I have regained my composure (and the very little of my dignity I still have in my psychological possession) I give her a pointed smile, saying, "Geez, Sayu, you sure do cheer me up. I should kidnap you and take you home, seriously."

Sayu laughed, though by the look on her face my comment made her slightly nervous. Figured, most people didn't make kidnapping jokes...

Realizing suddenly what time it was – I had classes in about two hours, and I needed to change and shower and maybe see if I could catch L and apologize for storming out on the (Linda's) shift – I leapt to my feet, thanked a frazzled, still very smiley Sayu for the coffee (the same Sayu, by the way, that I actually had no intention of ever, ever talking to again because really no one I know is allowed to see Mello the great act like a drama-queen… uh, except Halle), and hurried out of the shop towards Justice. When I made it inside, however, I was met by only Misa, who immediately met me at the door.

"Hey, Melly-chan, you're back! Don't worry, Misa-Misa took care of all three shifts today," the blonde chirped. I could have shot her in the center of the head right then and there, just to make her stop being so damn cheerfully, but I guess she saved my ass so I can't complain. Instead, I return the smile, or at least the look since I'm frowning at her.

"Three shifts? L and Matt aren't here?" I asked her. She shook her head, her pigtails bobbing excitedly with her head.

"Na-da, L said he had work to do and left a few minutes ago – I don't think he noticed you were gone – and Matt left to get his vest…" she paused, looking down at her little pink watch on her wrist, then looked up with that sparkly grin again. "Four hours ago!"

Riiiggghhhhttt… because it takes 4 hours to go get a vest and L never noticed when his employees were missing. Totally. (That was sarcasm [obviously], seriously what planet does that girl life on?)

Still, I don't bother to tell her that, simply nodding my thanks and heading out the door. I would talk to Matt in the morning, same for L, but for now I would just go to school and study up.

And by "study up" I apparently meant day-dream about Matt and how, when I saw him, I would promptly leap into his arms and spew out a million cheesy apologizes in the most out-of-character way possible, because honestly I was just in that kind of mood. Honestly.

Of course, it would just be my luck that a chick would get in the way before I got the chance to.

Matt's POV

Walking's a nice way to blow off some steam. No, really. I mean it. Try it sometimes. And, uh, if you have tried it, the next time around, try having a meltdown/breakdown/seizure/cardiac arrest. Because it's so much fun when people are looking at you all weird, and you know they're thinking, 'Oh jeez, another bad nut in the mix...' Seriously, I don't even get that expression! Who the hell thought comparing people to nuts was a good idea? Well, y'know, at least I didn't shriek, "I DON'T LIKE MEN!" in the middle of the street like a certain anime character had...YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU, MISAKI TAKAHASHI. But on second thought, that sort of ended well; Usami accidentally heard him and he was all embarrassed and that. Then again, I don't think it was really necessary. Usami seemed to like him already from the start-I mean, he did that to him for god's sake! What kind of-

Oh. Ahem. Sorry. Got a little off-topic there. [insert Matt's weird and freakishly girly giggle]

Then again, why am I thinking so much to myself these days? It's almost like I expect someone to read my thoughts or something... Which is weird. Is anyone even listening? If you are, then you've probably seen everything...

...my deepest, darkest secrets...

...my most innermost thoughts...

...my precious secrets...

...Oh well. Just make sure that you don't tell Mello that I practically raped him with my eyes on the first time I saw him. Okay? Good.

Uh oh. More talking to myself. Not good. Walk faster, legs!

And my legs responded(a weird thing to say, if you think about it). I turned the corner where my favorite convenience store was at. Did I mention it sold video games? Yeah.

The door made that little ding as I pushed through it. The scent of brownies wafted into and past me. After inhaling deeply several times, I walked in, eyeing the Girl Scouts that were setting up for a bake sale or something. Must explain the smell...

This brings back good memories, I mused to myself, remembering the last time I'd been here. If I remember correctly, this was where I'd gone before going off to my apartment, only to discover that Mello had been following me the whole time. And yes, I do consider that as a good memory.

Wait. I had not come here to think more about Mello, I came here to clear my mind of him. So yes, where was I? Right, picking a game, la-di-da.

I grabbed a random DS game from the shelves, looking at the cover wearily. My brain took a second to register the bright pink-and-orange-and-yellow cover with the scary 'mama' and realize that I'd picked up Cooking Mama. Speaking of which, it used to be one of my favorites when I was a kid...

"You don't want that," someone chuckled. For a second, I thought, Oh god, it's Mello again, and when I turned around, I did almost believe it, for the person standing there was the exact same image of him. Um, minus the boobs, of course. "You want this." She replaced the Cooking Mama game with God of War.

I peered at her curiously. What does she know about games? "Call of Duty or Halo?" I asked out of nowhere, leaning forward and looking at her suspiciously.

"Call of Duty!" she immediately responded, blue eyes shining bright in excitement.

"Oh my god, thank you!" I sobbed in joy, jumping forward and hugging her really tight. Finally! A girl who understood games!

"Um, you're welcome," she said, laughing nervously. I can see the imaginary sweatdrop on her forehead... "Hey, aren't you that gay guy from, like, three weeks ago?" she inquired, giving me a confused smile.

"Gay guy?" I racked my brain, trying to remember. And when I did, I laughed a little too loudly. "Oh, that!" I said. "Yeah, but I'm not really gay. I swear. I was just trying to find an excuse, and my mouth sorted of acted on its own." Insert another awkward laugh. "Yeah."

The girl gave me a skeptical look, but she grinned and shook her head. "Man, you're weird," she commented. "Are those goggles?"

I touched the said eyewear. "Mhm," I said with a nod.

"Are you, like, trying to cosplay Hwoarang?" she said excitedly. "You're not wearing any leather as far as I can see, but you'd make a pretty good cosplayer of him."

Hm. Interesting. She played Tekken...? "No," I answered. "But I guess it wouldn't hurt to actually try one day." Damn, she looked so much like Mello... "Are you trying to cosplay Mello?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Her expression turned into one of confusion. "Mello?" she asked. "Is he a video game character?"

"Uh..." Quick, Matt, think of something that wouldn't make you sound like a weirdo! "Uh... He's an anime character," I said slowly. Anime character? I mentally whacked myself upside the head.

The girl nodded. "I think I've heard of him," she said solemnly.

"You have?" I squeaked.

She shrugged. "I dunno. I think he's from that Boku no Pico* anime," she said, which made me even more scared and excited at the same time; this girl watched anime, too!

I pondered this. "That one with the effeminate blond?" I said, blushing madly. Yeah, I'd seen that anime, and let's just say that after that, my eyes weren't so innocent anymore...

"Oh, so you are gay?" She frowned. What...?

"I'm not!" I denied. "I only clicked on it accidentally and before I knew it, stuff happened and...yeah..." I said lamely, scratching the back of my head. "But he looks more like Madonna. I mean, you can give him some lipstick, fake boobs, and call him Madonna and everyone would believe you."

"Or, you know, just put a leather outfit on Madonna and call her Mello," she said, laughing.

When I only shot her a confused look, she elaborated, "Because, y'know, he's Mello, and she's- Never mind."

Aaawkwaaard.

"What's your name?" I asked, finding that she wasn't wearing a nametag.

"My names Tiffany!" she said brightly. "What's yours?"

"Matt," I said, too pleased to wince in distaste at how girly her name sounded. "I'm Matt."

"Hey Matt," Tiffany said, eyes twinkling, "sometime later, you should come over for a sleepover! I have Call of Duty at home and I can so blow your ass up with my AK-47 Grenade Launcher!"

She's such a dork. Even so, I think I may have found my new best friend.

So take that, Mello. I'm just fine without you!

*Boku no Pico: Uh...shounen ai anime. o.o Watch at your own risk, for you may not appreciate your eyes being raped as mine had been...

A/N: HOORAY. ANOTHER CHAPTER. This should have been published sooner, but I was on a cruise ship vacationing and... yeah. ~Holli