Author's Note: This came rather suddenly to me at 2am yesterday morning. I remember having discussed this idea with a fellow Jellie...I think it was Kuryakinsgirl and so just at 2am in the morn I started writing this like crazy. Includes: Charah and Jellie. I hope you like it and i hope that I have gotten Jeff right. It's my first fic that has him in it more than Casey and Ellie. But...do let me know if he comes across as right (well he doesn't but you know what I mean.)

Warning: Jeffness. (tee hee)

The Wildlife Of Buymoria

The view wobbled, a topsy-turvy askew image of a desk, a computer and then the full shaking sight of Jeff Barnes in his nerd-herder uniform came into sight on the cam-corder.

The Buymore staff member looked haggard, his eyes were watery from the haze of lunchtime alcohol and yet the grin still spread across his face in drunken happiness.

"Welcome to Buymoria, Burbank." said Jeff, his voice hushed as the camera finally settled to a more comfortable shake on his face. "The wild, inhabited by a pride that is diverse, strange and beautifully weird. The battle for dominance is forever in play, as its members struggle to gain positioning within. It's fierce out here, its bloody and cruel, but still they all struggle on. I , my good viewers, shall show you this pack in all its twisted glory. Come with me…come with me now to the wild….see Buymoria."

The camera shook again and Jeff's face disappeared. Then in a surprisingly covert journey, the shelves, computers, feet of customers danced across the viewer before focusing on grey wall and a door.

"Can you hear that?"

The deep snores on the mike were easily picked up, before the wall disappeared and a window revealed its source. Sitting in his chair, sleeping peacefully with both hands on his rising and falling belly was Big Mike. His desk showed the remains of the "Manager's only" donuts, or sugar as it was known, indicating that Big Mike was having his post-donut siesta.

"The older retired…once alpha male of Buymoria slumbers after a big meal." Jeff's voice sounded off screen. The camera wobbled again in his grasp. "He sleeps knowing that all is well within the surrounding plains of electrical goods. The Alpha is on duty, nothing will disturb his peace. So he sleeps well having that knowledge, he sleeps because no one dares to wake him up. The anger would mean trouble for all. The work is being done, he waits for his next meal."

There is a rustling sound and a foot long meatball sub briefly waves in front of the camera. Then again moving covertly, the window vanishes, a flash of wall turns into an opening door and it cautiously moves up to the desk where a hand places the sandwich on the desk.

A flash of Big Mike's office is seen as the camera and Jeff turn round and head back out into the store. Jeff crept along a few more rows of stands before seeing the next source of interest.

"The group of young up coming hopefuls." Jeff whispers…a belch is loudly exclaimed before a hushed sigh. "Three young males battle amongst themselves for prime position. Yet one is the most dominant."

Jeff poked the camera round the edge and zoomed in on Chuck Bartowski. The tall nerd-herder stood looking un-impressed with his arms across his chest as Morgan and Lester squabbled in front of him. The full extent of the conversation was not heard as Jeff breathed a little too loud, making the mike crackle and hiss.

"Tell you what…" Chuck finally stood to attention and dropped his arms by his side. "I'm going to go back to working…fixing computers whilst you two work out which one will get dibs on the exciting job of price tagging."

"This is beyond me, Charles." said Lester.

"So the battle begins" Jeff whispered, zooming in on his best friend. "Can the two persuade the one?"

"I fix computers. I work with technology, my hands are skilled, my brain is evolved and my looks attract!"

Lester winked at a passing female customer before smirking triumphantly towards Morgan. The viewer on the camera caught the woman's disgusted look before she walked away. The super fast sweep to Chuck's face again showed that the senior nerd-herder was not interested.

"I do not use my gifts to go round sticking numbered labels on all the products. That's a green shirt's job." Lester scoffed.

"I resent that!" The camera turned sharply onto the bearded face of Morgan Grimes. "I have…well…I have skills and talents…and looks too!"

Jeff fortunately caught Morgan's rejection from another female customer on the camera.

"So far the dominant male is not even riled. Now watch….we know this male has standing…of sorts, with the Alpha….this is interesting."

"Guys…" Chuck held up his hands in defiance. "You two sort this out, because someone has to do it. Big Mike might find out if its not done and what do you think will happen if you upset him? You know full well it won't just be his calm you'll diss."

"See this?"

In a frantic and nauseating blur of wobble and speedy zooming, the camera caught the brief look of horror on both Morgan and Lester's faces.

"They know he means the Alpha. They know that if the old one is riled, his mood will spread to the one whose retaliation will be most grievous."

On Morgan and Lester's faces there was still the worry, but the next second both of them began bickering, the shot of them went in and out of focus several times before Jeff followed Chuck.

"Of the three he is in control. In the pack of Buymoria Burbank he is the number two." There is a snort of amusement off screen. "He has a clear leadership…a respect…of sorts…amongst his fellow members."

Sure enough, Chuck served some customers, a couple of times he looked round and almost caught a direct sight of the camera and its operator, but he went about his duties. He smiled and fixed things, sold things…other nerd herders came up to him and asked him for assistance and he was only too pleased to help. The wonky and drunken filming captured all that Chuck Bartowski did, before focusing closely on the change in his expression.

During all that time, Chuck had been calm, pleasant and mellow…his face full of confidence before it changed. His eyes glazed over, a huge puppy in love grin came across his lips and all of his body froze in place.

"Whoa dudes! This is just perfect!"

The camera again shot with lightening speed and with fuzzy focus, across the Buymore and past the blob of blonde. Jeff cussed when he realised he'd gone too fast and then took the view back to the blonde.

Two nice round assets clenched and packed into a tight orange shirt came into sharp focus on the recorder. Even in his drunken state, Jeff remembered about "Mammary Cam" and what would happen if he was caught, and so he took the shot up away from the breasts and to the pleasant happy face of Sarah Walker.

"For this male, for being a respected member of the pride…he was chosen. The female has seen what respect he commands and rewards him…by becoming his mate." Jeff belched again. "Though in my opinion, she made a bad choice. But that's not what I'm here for. The male maybe dominant amongst the other males, but look how the approaching female has him completely under her control…everything about her body….." again the camera slowly went up and down Sarah's body, no shaking, no blurred focus…a perfect slow sequence over her bottom, legs and breasts. "Hmmm… everything about her is dominant…power and seduction. She is his reward."

Sarah approached Chuck and the when she leant in close, stroking her hand up and down his arm, his trance broke and he regained his confidence. She played with his tie as they talked, their bodies suggestive and sexual.

"Yeah…whatever." Jeff moaned and turned away, capturing the grumpy face of Bunny directly behind him. He stopped, the camera tried to zoom away as far as possible, but it wasn't doing any good. The frowning mopey looking woman stood there for a while, not blinking, smiling or anything, then she shrugged her shoulders and left Jeff alone.

"Phew! That was close! We can make our….ah!" The camera tried to get past Skip's huge hair blocking the way, but it caught glimpses of another female. "Another desirable and the last remaining female of Buymoria Burbank. She's dangerous, unpredictable, but so beautiful….she scares and allures…every one wants her."

Skip finally moved.

Anna Wu was serving customers. She was selling a couple a laptop, but the camera never covered that. Just like with Sarah Walker, Anna Wu's beautiful but slightly bizarre appearance was captured without even the slightest hitch. Her fish net stockings covered her shapely legs, the short tiny skirt barely covered her bottom and the white nerd-herder shirt may have tried to keep in her mammarys, but the loosened buttons certainly showed some tempting flesh. Her face was serious, she was concentrating on the sale, but all the while, as her finger played with her green dangling ribbons and jet black hair, she was watching for signs of trouble.

Trouble being Morgan and Lester.

"Such a beautiful creature." Jeff murmured, a little too turned on by the woman. "Yet, the two inferior males battle for her attention."

Lester and Morgan had forgotten about the price tagging problem and were focusing on Anna.

"Hey! She's my girl, dude!" Morgan said, slapping Lester on the chest.

"Not for long my friend." Lester replied. "One day she will see sense and then come begging in to my arms."

"Seriously dude. Stop it. She picked me."

"All in good time, Morgan." Lester said smoothly and brushing back a flop of black hair. "All in good time."

"Not if she's mine, first." Jeff murmured accidentally.

Oblivious to what he had muttered, Jeff turned the camera again. It began a very wobbly tour of the Buymore, some customers and staff gave him strange looks, but when Jeff peeked out from behind the security desk he was given another, but it was a far more heavenly, surprise.

She was a goddess, a woman with the chestnut hair of spring and the smile of summer. A woman who was "very hot."

"A rarity!" Jeff groaned lovingly, but eerily. "The alpha female from a neighbouring pack! Do not be fooled by this proud beautiful creature, she may appear to be the gentle lioness, but there's a fierceness inside her that can be provoked…I know I've tried…she is powerful, deadly and can rip a new one for ya if you push your luck. Again I know, I've tried."

Ellie Bartowski came through the double doors with a hurried stride. Jeff took the camera up her skin clad jeans, holding for a quick shot of how tight they were by closing in on her curvy round bottom. Ellie stopped just by the entrance so she could look for someone and that allowed Jeff to film the rest of her at a slower pace.

Ellie's dark blue tank top clung to her torso just as tightly as her jeans did to her bottom half. She had a perfectly slim belly, Jeff's hand came into the shot and it looked as if he was slowly rubbing her stomach. There was a groaning sound from the cameraman, but then he focused on her pert and globe like breasts, they were squashed only a little by….(the shot zoomed in as much as possible)….a sweet black lacy bra. The detail on the slight show of the edge made Jeff groan again.

Eventually, he brought up the shot of Ellie and halted on her face.

"She's concerned. Worried." said Jeff continuing his narration. "About what, I don't know. Could be that she needs a new TV, new fridge, cooker…but she's also determined. Does she know exactly what make of cooker or TV she wants? Does she…oh! She's on the move!"

Like a fast action paced foot chase, Jeff and his camera followed Ellie Bartowski as she stormed away from the entrance and towards her target at a lightening pace.

The camera wobbled manically making the mike rattle as Jeff's scurrying pace tried to keep up with the young woman. He knocked into customers again, he even barged and tipped over a display of CD cases until he paused.

It was clear that this was her destination. This was the person she wanted to find.

"The Alpha. We're in dangerous territory here! For he is the leader of this pride, the man no one messes with."

From behind a very convenient shelter of microwave boxes, Jeff captured the entirety of the man surveying the Buymore. John Casey was one of the tallest things in the room, he over saw all and when the pile of CDs fell to the floor, his head craned round to witness it. With narrowing suspicious eyes, Casey saw several other green shirts go over to clear up the mess, but then like a hawk searching for prey, he scanned the rest of the store.

The camera hid and pointed down to Jeff's feet, but then his feet was replaced by his scared looking face.

"I think the Casey Alpha has spotted me….so long and if someone could tell my mum I died bravely…."

The view peeked out again from behind the microwaves and sure enough Casey was storming over like an on coming hurricane and he was not happy.

"Barnes!"

Jeff was expecting death, but then his bacon was saved.

"John?"

Ellie caught his attention and the change in Casey was more than obvious. The stiff rigidness of his body that had been alert to dish out hurt to anyone who messed up or annoyed him, changed and softened to a completely different stance.

"Ellie. This is a surprise, how can I help you?"

"Again you're in for a treat, viewers!" Jeff whispered. "Another rarity. The Alpha of Buymoria Burbank is never phased, nothing detracts him from what he must do. He protects this place, though sometimes I think its only just-" Jeff managed to find Chuck talking on the nerd-herd telephone. "Him that he protects. Yet…the Alpha female is having a huge impact on him. She does so every time she comes here. Notice the change!"

The viewer showed Casey ease off from his back breaking stand to attention, the fists which had been clenched to hit Jeff relaxed and the lightly boiling contempt and anger on his face was replaced by a smile. Those eyes which had signalled "kill" to Jeff were now locked onto Ellie and they were smouldering. Wanting. Entranced.

He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat.

"Hi." said Ellie, bright and happy. "You can help me."

"The Alpha is prepared." Jeff whispered. "A task or a challenge has been set for him and he wants to do it. Look how his massive chest has puffed up and out, how his arms are bulging under that green shirt…he's indicating to her that he is the one to do it. He's proving his worthiness, his strength and this display of manliness never seems to fail with her. I've seen it before and now you can see it too…look."

It zoomed in on Ellie and Casey, she was smiling sweetly up at him with one arm lightly draped across her middle. Her other hand toyed with the thin strap of her tank top before flicking some of her long brown hair away from her face. Then she teased even more by delicately touching at her lips. Her skin was flushed and the camera managed to pick up, with no problem, her eyes that kept fleeting from Casey's face to the impressive expanse of his chest.

"The Alpha and the female are aroused." Jeff commented, scooching out from behind the microwaves to a cooker, just so he could get a closer look. "They've closed the distance a little more this time. This could mean good news."

"Tell me what you need and I will be only too happy to oblige Miss Bartowski." said Casey, his eyes fixated briefly on her hand as it rested on her chest, before catching her gaze with his. Ellie had had her head tilted to one side, angling her neck to fully appreciate the six foot four colossus standing before her, but when she looked into his eyes, her breath caught.

"Definate arousal." said Jeff. "Now, lets see where this mating game goes today…will an electrical appliance be sold with an extra added bonus of lunch?"

"I need a new toaster." Ellie said, clasping both her hands together and holding them up to her mouth. She pressed her knuckles to her lips and then sighed at the curious eyebrow raise Casey gave her. "To toast. Things."

"Oh yes?" rumbled the reply. Ellie nodded and blinked when the intensity of his gaze became too much to handle. She turned away and pretended to look at the many microwave ovens surrounding her.

"Yes." she replied, turning back and staring up at him with a new flirtatious defiance.

"What kind of….things?"

"Bread mostly."

"Any thing else?"

"Crumpets? Tea cakes. Waffles?"

"I like waffles."

"Who doesn't?"

Casey's smile broadened and a large hand absentmindedly stroked across his stomach. Jeff's hold on the camera shook again when he caught Ellie's hand reaching out and touch at Casey's. She hadn't meant to do it and as soon as the tips of her fingers grazed his knuckles both of their hands sharply pulled away from each other. Yet their proximity only became closer.

"Food." Jeff breathed heavily into the mike. "It is always the women who bring the food to satisfy the males. The blonde female brings fro-yo, though I miss the hot sizzling' dogs she used to make …and that uniform…..yowza! That was some serious hard core…"

As Jeff went into his fantasy daze, the camera shot of Casey and Ellie tipped on its side.

"Have you eaten yet?" Casey's voice barely sounded over Jeff's occasional and eerie moans.

"No. I was going to, but the toaster. It broke…I need a new one."

"Can I buy you lunch? My break is due and I know this great little café that sells pie and they make a good cup of coffee."

"Oh…erm…"

The lopsided view of the two "Alphas" came upright and there was a "whoaaa..need more beer." before Jeff got the couple properly centred. They were still standing very close, gazing at each other with a lot more than just a desire for food.

"I could buy you lunch, if..if you want." Ellie replied, twirling her finger in a lock of her hair.

"You've always made dinner, Miss Bartowski…let me pay for lunch."

"I insist I pay." she said, jabbing a finger in front of them.

"How about we go to the diner and we each pay for our own lunch? Then you can come back and get the toaster? We can just have our meals, enjoy each others company and…"

Ellie nodded.

"It sounds nice."

"Good, I'll let your brother know I'm going for my break and we'll head out."

"That'll be lovely. Thank you John."

Casey held out his hand towards the exit and stepped aside so Ellie could turn round and head in the direction he noted. Jeff saw Casey's other hand touch gently at the small of her back, he saw the pause in her step, the tilt of her head and the grey fire igniting in her eyes.

"So its food before the electrical appliance sellage." Jeff crept along after them. "Most unusual for the Alpha to leave his post, especially with her…the mating process is moving along. Next thing we'll know it will be full out copulation in the home theatre room. That will be totally amazing…and incredibly hot. Gonna need a whole new tape for that…sweet Ellie Bartowski full frontal….."

As Jeff lapsed into another sexual induced fantasy about Chuck's sister, he completely missed Casey leaning down close to Ellie and whispering something in her ear. He held up a finger, signalling that he would be back in one moment, smiled and then turned.

Jeff was completely oblivious to Casey's reversion back to the mean, angry Alpha of the Buymore. Casey strode over to Jeff's hiding place and the viewer was filled with his angry face, when Jeff was hauled up off the ground.

"Casey! Hi! I was just-!"

"I know what you were doing, you numb-skull." hissed Casey as he dragged Jeff and his camera away from Ellie. There was a jolt as Jeff was shoved up against the wall between two fridge freezers. "You point that thing at me or her again, you poke your nerdy face into our business and I swear that the next thing that camera shows, will be the inside of your intestines after I shove it up your ass. Do you understand?"

"Have a nice lunch." was all Jeff could reply back. John's hand flashed across the camera's view and there was a choking sound.

"Do you understand?"

There was a thudding sound as Jeff's head was lightly knocked against the wall and then the camera was dropped to the floor. It toppled in such a way that it peered up at Casey, his scowl showing the contained anger that was brewing inside of him and the way he cracked his knuckles.

"Glad you agree, Barnes."

Jeff coughed a few times to gain back his breath and then picked up the camera. He still trained the camera on Buymore's Alpha male as he walked over to Chuck. Casey whispered something to the younger man and then headed to the entrance, where Ellie was waiting for him. Chuck's casual acceptance of Casey going on a break changed to shock and confusion as he watched the "Big Guy" walk out of the shop, laughing and smiling…with his sister.

"Buymoria Burbank." Jeff panned around the store, "People can get hurt here if you're not with the game. If you're not up to speed on the rank of things, it can get seriously screwed up."

Over by the Television wall, Lester was slapped on the face by Anna as he made a rude comment. By the CD's Morgan was talking to some kids about music, his enthusiastic arm gestures were doing nothing to convince the teens to purchase "The Ramones dudes!"

Big Mike was awake in his office and was tucking into the sub that had mysteriously appeared on his desk. He was like a child having discovered the largest Easter egg ever and he was going to enjoy tucking into it.

"It seems that the second dominant male had no idea about the Alpha's attempts at claiming his sibling." Jeff zoomed in on Chuck having a little panic attack as Sarah tried to calm him down. "This could be very interesting. Will the Chuck male confront the Alpha? Defend his sister's honour? If my camera is not shoved up my anus, we will find out in the next documentary. But first, I'm in need of some serious lubrication."

The camera turned away from Chuck and Sarah, catching the last of their conversation.

"What's Casey doing having lunch Ellie?" Chuck's voice squeaked. "He never has lunch outside of the Buymore, unless it's a fro-yo mission. He never goes out with my sister…Sarah why is he going out with my sister? Why? Why?"

Jeff snorted in amusement.

"It's mating time."

"Fine. But I must insist that I'm blindfolded when it happens. Meet me in the break room in five minutes."

Jeff spun round and the camera nearly squashed against Bunny's deadpan features. He backed away as soon as he could and only succeeded in knocking his back against metal stand.

"Oh crap."

"You were the one who suggested it." Bunny said, still no change in her expressionless face.

"Oh." Jeff dropped the camera to his side. "Mind if I get even more paralytic with alcohol first?"

"Whatever."

The camera turned off.

The film had ended.