Chapter 2

Time slowed as I remained sprawled across a floor that hadn't been properly scrubbed in months, visions of red hair, of a piercing emerald gaze and the angular curve of Axel's jaw somehow rendering me immobile. Staring at a french fry that lay forgotten underneath one of the stoves, I listened as the rumbling sound of footsteps drew ever nearer. Naminé dropped to her knees beside me, her fingers brushing against my cheek. My eyelids fluttered shut with the gentle touch, and I was almost able to forget. Kairi had draped herself over the blonde's shoulder by the time I opened my eyes again, her brows knitted together as she watched my every move.

"Are you alright? That fall looked nasty," Naminé said, brushing an errant strand of hair from my face.

I pressed a palm to my throbbing temple, though I doubted it had anything to do with the actual fall. Kairi leapt to her feet with a gasp, eyes darting across the room..

"It's his head," she said, hands balling into loose fists as the sounds of laughter and hushed whispers drifted over. "Someone should call an ambulance."

"No!" I sat upright, screwing my eyes shut as the room began to spin. "No, I'm fine. Really."

Naminé ran a gentle hand down the length of my spine, and I shrugged her off as Cid called out from somewhere beyond the counter.

"Everything alright back there? Roxas ain't dead, is he?" There was an amused lilt to his voice, and I wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole. It came as only a small relief that he, Axel and the rest of the Tigers remained hidden from view.

"He's fine!" Demyx shouted, hands clinging to the edge of the counter as he leaned over the surface and beamed down at me. "That was hi-larious, Roxas!"

Lips pursing, I struggled to my feet and dusted quite a few weeks worth or dirt, crumbs and shit off of my already soiled uniform. Feeling the burn of several curious gazes, I ran a hand through my unkempt hair and trudged back into the hall, ready to get the hell out of there. Riku and Marluxia were huddled together, casting derisive glances at me as I came to a stop beside Zexion. My gaze flicked to the floor, to the exit sign blinking above the door at the far end of the hall, to the cracks lining the wall at my side, anywhere but the group of men standing before me.

"So, you were trying to say something be...befo..." Riku dissolved into unabashed giggles, doubling over and clutching at his sides. He latched onto Cloud's bicep to keep from collapsing to the floor. "I...I wish Zack...had...had been here," he gasped out between bouts of laughter.

"It was nothing," I answered through gritted teeth to nobody in particular, an urge stronger than any will I possessed drawing my attention back to the Tiger's shortstop.

Axel was propped against the wall, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at thin lips as he watched Riku wipe tears of mirth from his cheeks. He tossed a ratty, old baseball back and forth between his hands, jersey unbuttoned far enough to reveal a form-fitting undershirt. His orange socks had fallen in bunches around crossed ankles, and once pristine, white uniform pants were caked in red dirt.

"Sadly, work is still callin' my name, so I gotta get moving." Cid's words barely registered as I watched Axel stretch both arms high above his head, back arching. The baseball fell from his grasp, bouncing across the floor and coming to a halt against the tips of my worn sneakers. "And Roxas?"

Axel 's eyes again met mine, and my knees quaked with the urge to run. It was all so new, so foreign, and nothing made any sense. Before we'd come face to face, Axel had been nothing more to me than a terrible baseball player, but the attention he offered sent adrenaline pumping through my veins like never before, exhilarating and terrifying all the same. Nobody looked at me quite the way he had, and I found myself craving more.

"Don't go dying on me, son." Cid said, bringing my attention back to him. "Replacin' ya would just be too much work."

As he disappeared around the corner, the hall settled into awkward silence. Riku's excessive cackling had long since transformed into shallow, unsteady gasps, and Marluxia's gaze returned to Kairi as she leaned against the wall, typing out another rapid message on her phone. Naminé bit at her fingernails, stealing curt glances at the Tigers' star pitcher and averting her eyes when he inched closer to the unsuspecting redhead.

"Hey," he drawled, fingers dancing along Kairi's forearm. Her head jerked up, and she let out a shriek that echoed down the hall. The phone fell from her clutches, skittering across the cement, and Marluxia reared back as the girl leveled him with a glare.

"What the hell?" She scrambled after the device, turned it over and over in her hands, eyes scanning every square inch before she thrust it in the pitcher's face "Are you crazy?! This is an iphone 6!"

"I apologize," Marluxia said, raising his hands in defeat. There was a lewd gleam behind his eyes that made my stomach twist, and I regretted ever eating that greasy burger for lunch. "I only wanted to tell you how absolutely exquisite I think you are."

"Oh, Yeah? Well-" She paused, mouth hanging open for a moment before her expression softened. Kairi flipped several strands of red hair over her shoulder and batted her eyelashes. "Wait. Exquisite, you say?"

I rolled my eyes, and caught sight of Naminé. Her head was bowed, lips a thin, straight line where I'd only ever seen a smile. Something within me stirred as her chest quickly rose and fell, the tiniest sob escaping.

It wasn't until Kairi let out a sting of obnoxious giggles that I caught myself reaching out for Naminé. Hand poised just above her back, I froze. What the hell was I doing? Without a word, she ducked under my outstretched arm and spun on her heels. Heads swerved to watch as she made a mad dash for the exit, but no one said a thing.

"As much as I'd like to stick around and see if Marluxia gets it in." Riku broke the silence, making a rude gesture with his hands and throwing a smirk in the direction of a teammate who was far too busy whispering in Kairi's ear to notice. He glimpsed down the hall as the door fell shut with a clang before speaking again. "This is just too much excitement for me. Plus, I got better things to do." He reached over to ruffle my hair and snorted when I smacked his hand away. "And thanks for the laugh, kid"

"Eh, don't pay him any mind." Axel sauntered over as his teammate turned the corner. Leaning forward so we were level with one another, his eyes searched my own and pinned me where I stood. He bared his teeth in the most alluring grin I'd ever seen and knelt down to scoop up the long forgotten baseball at my feet. "Once you get to know Riku, he won't seem like such an arrogant bastard. Kinda like ol' stick-in-the-mud Cloud over here. I promise he's not always this boring. Ain't that right?"

Axel flicked one of Cloud's spikes, earning a sidelong glance from the outfielder. Cloud stepped to the side, putting a few inches of distance between himself and the shortstop as Axel tried to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

"I actually wanted to get some extra practice in today. Would you care to join me?"

"Thanks, but no thanks," Axel scoffed and looked down as he toed a baseball cleat back and forth across the floor.

"Suit yourself." Cloud shrugged, stuffed his hands back in his pockets and brushed past Axel with a subtle glance.

"You ready to go?" Demyx nudged me in the ribs, and I inclined my head only to notice the empty spaces where Kairi and Marluxia once stood. The prospect of them leaving together both sickened and thrilled me. Kairi finding someone else besides my brother to sink her claws into was the dream, even if it meant Naminé got caught in the crossfire.

"I'm gonna drop Zex off, too. Do you mind?" Demyx asked, beckoning me back to reality, and I glanced between the two of them. Thoughts of their supposed romance and the feeling of Axel's eyes boring into my back left my mind an absolute blank, so I just stood there, gaping like a fish.

"Earth to Roxas," Demyx rocked forward on his toes, snapping a finger in my face. "Are you good with me dropping Zexion off first?"

"Uh, yeah, it's cool," I said, making the mistake of looking at Axel. His back was pressed flat against the wall as he watched with a smirk.

"Let's get moving then," Demyx's voice reached my ears from somewhere in the far off distance, as I was unable to pry my gaze from the shortstop.

"Actually, you know what? I forgot something." The lie came tumbling forth with a practiced ease, though I felt as if someone else were controlling my mouth. "I'll just catch up with you guys outside."

Demyx grumbled an affirmative response before dragging Zexion through the door, and then Axel and I were utterly alone.

"Soooo, what did you forget?" Axel arched an eyebrow, as I stood stock-still, trying and failing to comprehend his simple question.

"What?" I was unable to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence to speak aloud. My mind had failed me, and I wanted nothing more than to walk right through the door and into oncoming traffic. What had I gotten myself into?

"How cute."

My mouth and brain worked uselessly for another agonizing moment. "What?"

Axel laughed at me, before bending down to fix his socks. "You have quite a way with words, don't ya?"

"I uh..." My feet remained glued to the floor, as exhilaration turned to annoyance that bubbled through my veins. "Don't act like you know me," I all but snapped.

"So, you forgot something?" Axel asked, ignoring the outburst and rolling that stupid baseball around the palm of his hand. I wanted to wipe the alluring grin off of his face, but instead I was forced to look away. My heart beating rhythmically against my chest was making it hard to stay angry, and God, I wanted to, because anxiety was as unfamiliar as the man standing across from me, but Anger? Anger and I had a history.

Clearing my throat, I walked over to the stand, scanning the small area for any kind of excuse. Seconds felt like hours as I stood there, willing my hands to stop trembling and trying to call up that small bit of agitation I'd felt for a few seconds earlier. There was nothing, absolutely no plausible reason why I stayed behind. I couldn't admit that to Axel, though (or even myself, at the time) so I grabbed one of Kairi's precious, plastic spoons from the container and spun back around.

"This." I lifted the utensil and tapped it against my palm. "I needed this."

"A spoon...?" Axel's eyes narrowed as he pushed away from the wall. His grin transformed into something a bit more foreboding, and all I could do was rest against the counter and brace myself.

"As I thought. You stayed for me, didn't ya?" One of the socks fell back down around his ankle as he closed the distance between us, cleats clinking against the concrete. He snickered, and my blood ran hot then cold then hot again. "Hey, it happens," He shrugged. "I am pretty irresistible, after all."

He stared down at me, and I bit the inside of my cheek, wracking my brain for something clever or cunning to say, for anything I could throw in his face.

"Why are you always staring at me?" The question slipped from my tongue before I thought it through, and there was no going back. Axel cocked his head, face scrunching in a way that had me clutching the spoon in my hand almost to it's breaking point.

"Excuse me? Always staring at you?" He bent forward, exemplifying the difference in our heights, a hand cupped to his ear. "Surely, I misunderstood, because I hardly know you. We literally just met, so there's no way I could always be doing anything to you"

"But y-you...you..."

I couldn't recall the last time I'd been engaged in an extended conversation of my own free will with someone that wasn't my brother, and it showed. While Axel knew exactly what to say and oozed charisma with every spoken word, I faltered, stumbling over simple sentences and the thoughts racing through my mind. It was discouraging, and maddening, and I could have walked away right there. I could have stomped off towards Demyx's old beater and headed home, but the urge to flee had vanished, taking with it the nagging voice in the back of my head, the constant reminder that I was worthless and didn't belong.

"You told me to remember your name," I finally declared, standing a little taller as I crossed my arms over my chest. Confidence bloomed as it hadn't in so long, and I stared Axel straight in the eye. For a brief moment, my internal struggles ceased to exist, and I hadn't even realized it until one caustic snort later.

"Kid. Roxas. C'mon. I say that to Everyone," Axel said, rising back up to his full height and casting me in his shadow. "It didn't mean anything."

The words reverberated inside my skull, as I crashed back down to reality so hard I swear the floor splintered beneath my feet.

"I'm not a kid," I mumbled for lack of anything better to say and picked at the hem of my uniform shirt.

Axel studied me for a brief second, expression sobering for the first time all afternoon. He offered a crooked smile that did little ease the shame washing over me, and ruffled my hair as he passed by, as if I were nothing more than his little brother.

"You're cute," he said, and I resisted the desire to drop to my knees and stop breathing. Too exhausted to be anything but numb, I simply watched him go, the exit sign flickering one last time as the door fell shut behind him.

Rays from the late afternoon sun glinted off windshields of the few cars left in the parking lot when I caught sight of Demyx and Zexion chatting it up with Larxene. The obvious course of action was to wait in the shadows until they parted ways. Slipping the mask back on and faking my way through an entire car ride was going to be difficult enough without the addition of Larxene. We'd only traded niceties a couple times over the previous month, but I'd heard horror stories of her cruelty and taunting. She worked in the ticket booth with Demyx, so maybe he saw something in her that no one else had, or maybe he just needed to stay on her good side.

Once Larxene was out of sight, I jogged to catch up with my coworkers.

"Sorry it took me so long."

"Ain't no thing," Demyx shrugged, digging through his pockets and yanking out a set of car keys. "Larxene actually caught us, so it's not like you kept us waiting."

"Oh." My thoughts were still back in the stadium with Axel, so interest in anything Demyx had to say was hard to conjure.

"She's doing well," Demyx said, as if I'd asked or even cared. "Kept talking about some new man in her life but wouldn't tell us who it was. So, you know, that was kind of annoying."

Zexion snorted. "He works here, so I'm sure we could figure it out with a bit of sleuthing."

"I bet it's Cid," Demyx said, as he and Zexion converged in front of me. "She seems the type to like 'em half-dead and rolling in dough."

Zexion gagged as we halted next to a vehicle that had clearly been built before any of us were born. Missing at least two of its four hubcaps, and rusted in various spots on the dull painted frame, Demyx's car left much to be desired. Jamming the key into the lock, the driver's side door opened with an elongated groan. Demyx hopped in, jostling a pair of fluffy dice and no less than three air fresheners that hung over the rear view mirror. He reached across to manually unlock the passengers side and one of the back doors before sticking the key in the ignition. Revving the engine a few times, tongue peaking out from the corner of his mouth, the old Buick finally puttered to life.

"Hop in, guys!" He beamed, opening and slamming the door until it clicked into place.

Weeks of being my brother's only passenger had me reaching for the half-broken handle of the front door. It wasn't until I glanced at Zexion that I took a step back, fingertips brushing against the blistering metal.

"Sorry."

Zexion blinked, hip resting against the hood of the car. "What for?"

"Um, well, I thought you'd... Well, you and Demyx, that is-" Zexion pulled at the antennae pressed against his side, and I watched the foam Micky Mouse head on the top wiggle back and forth. "Never mind," I said, as I opened the back door with little struggle and retreated inside the scorching car.

"We're gonna have to roll the windows down, guys. Air conditioner doesn't work," Demyx said, as Zexion climbed inside. "And Roxas you might want to scoot to the other side. That window doesn't open."

I cast a glance at said window, noticing several long pieces of duct tape secured around its edges. Moving to sit behind the driver, I slouched, skin already sticking to the fabric of the seat. If I didn't buckle up there was a slight chance I'd be put out of my misery. I decided to risk it.

"Does anything in this car work properly?" Zexion asked. Demyx backed out of the parking spot, and their voices faded from my consciousness.

Images of the city I'd been born in, obscured only by a smudged window I hadn't bothered to roll down, flashed by as Demyx pulled the car out onto the bustling street. The same old, Twilight Town buildings, and houses and trees, the same old people going about their same, old lives greeted me as I rested my head against the door, teeth clattering together with every bump and pothole in the road. My thoughts drifted from Axel, to how I should have known better, how I did know better, to Zexion and Demyx talking among themselves up front, as if I wasn't even there.

The rattling of every inch of that poor car as it sped down the street, along with wind whipping at violent speeds through open windows made it near impossible to hear anything. But from the blinding grin that never left Demyx's lips to the way Zexion's eyes were glued to the blonde, it was easy to surmise that they enjoyed each other's company. Love, though? I wasn't sure.

Outside, monotonous scenery continued to whiz past, as we approached Bodhum Avenue, and my heart dropped to my stomach. Pulling out my cellphone, I checked for texts or messages that I knew in my heart of hearts weren't there. It was my fault. I was the one who'd become withdrawn, who declined offers to hang out, who forced my brother to lie for me when I just didn't have the energy to get out of bed or explain. The phone had stopped ringing, texts coming in with much less frequency than before, until my friends and I had all but become strangers. Graduation hadn't made the strain on our already weakened friendships any easier, and if I didn't make an effort before the start of autumn and college life, I knew that might have been the end.

A giggle brought me back to the present, and I looked up to see Zexion covering his upturned mouth with the back of a hand, gaze averted to the window at his side. Demyx gripped the steering wheel, his body trembling with suppressed laughter.

The car veered off onto Garden Lane, and Zexion reached for his messenger bag and pulled it into his lap, hand poised over the seat belt buckle. Quaint houses identical in build, but each painted a different tropical color, sat side by side, some with their curtains open wide enough to catch a glimpse of a family settling down for dinner, or a television flicking through channels. Kids were running about outside, their delighted screams ringing in my ears as they salvaged the last bits of light filtering in through leaves of the palm trees that lined both sides of the road. People were out walking their dogs, cooking on the grill, greeting neighbors, arriving home from work, or school, or the grocery store with several bags balanced on their arms, and just living another normal day.

It stung.

Demyx slowed the car as a few children, caught up in their game of tag, crossed in front of us.

"Uh, hey," I spoke for the first time in what felt like decades. Zexion inclined his head at the sound of my raspy voice, and I cleared my throat before continuing. "What's the deal with you two?"

"Deal?" Zexion shouldered his messenger bag, unhooking his seat belt as Demyx pulled the car closer to the curb.

"Yeah. You and Demyx." Words fell from my lips of their own accord, and I wasn't sure why I wanted to know or even cared about what was going on between my two coworkers. Try as I might, sitting there in the backseat of a car that smelled vaguely of sweat and exhaust fumes, I couldn't think of a single good reason, but I pressed on.

"Are you two together?" Silence reigned, and Demyx squirmed in his seat. "Together, together, I mean. Like boy..friends?"

Demyx slammed on the brakes, the car skidding a few feet down paved concrete road and almost wiping out someone's mailbox. Zexion, without a seat belt to hold him in place, lurched forward with a yelp and almost collided face first with the dashboard. If we'd been going any faster, he might have been hurled through the windshield. I suffered a similar fate, my body making contact with the back of the driver's seat. Demyx clutched at his chest, eyes unfocused as he stared straight ahead, his shoulders rising and falling as his breaths came in shuddering gasps. Without the puttering of the engine, the atmosphere dissolved into uncomfortable silence, and I knew I'd made the absolute wrong decision.

Zexion fumbled with the handle for a good, solid minute before remembering to unlock the door, and all but tumbled out of the car before sprinting up his driveway. He slammed the front door without so much as a wave goodbye. Seconds ticked by, tension spreading thick throughout the interior of the car before I decided to break the awkward silence.

"Sorry." That didn't really cover it, I figured, but it was the best I could do. Well, the best I was willing to do.

Demyx let out a bark of humorless laughter, lips stretched in a tight smile that didn't quite erase the worry from his face.

"For what?" His voice sounded strained and not at all what I'd come to expect from someone who thrived around people. As we pulled away from the curb outside Zexion's house, he jutted a thumb towards the passengers seat, eyes set dead ahead.. "You can climb up here if you want."

"Nah," I said, turning to watch sea green shutters and a gray, tiled roof fade into the distance.

"I hope you weren't hurt when I..." Demyx trailed off, as he pulled the car back onto the highway. Our eyes met in the rear view mirror. "Please tell me you're okay."

Forcing a smile upon my face, I spoke a lie so practiced it had become second nature.

"I'm fine."

Pressing my forehead against the wooden door frame, I waited for the sputtering sounds of Demyx's broken-down Buick to fade before entering my apartment. Fading light was peaking through parted blinds, bathing my cluttered living room in colors of orange and magenta, and it took the last vestiges of strength I had buried deep within to trudge even a few steps over and belly flop onto the sofa. Kicking a pile of at least two weeks worth of mail to the carpet, I pressed my face into an aged quilt that was draped over the cushions. Inhaling the mingling scents of tobacco and vanilla, I remembered weekends at my Grandmother's, when smiles were effortless and licking cookie batter out of a bowl with my brother was the pinnacle of joy.

A vibration against my thigh interrupted the trip down memory lane. Wriggling around to dislodge the phone from my pocket, I relished the sense of relief the number upon the screen brought forth.

"Hey," I said, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Roxas?" The voice sounded only a bit less weary than my own.

"Duh." I rolled my eyes, turning on my side and attempting to find a more comfortable position on that hand-me-down sofa. The events of the day had apparently left my body a bit worse for wear. "Who else would be answering my phone?"

There were sounds of shuffling and a female voice in the background asking something about ice cream. "You never know."

"Sora, get real." My empty stomach rumbled in a way I was sure could have been heard over the line, if my brother hadn't been so distracted by whatever was happening on his end. I hadn't eaten for hours.

"How was work?"

"The same." My head swam as I rose to my feet and staggered into the kitchen, only to find a carton of expired milk and a gallon of water in an otherwise barren refrigerator.

"Wait, wait!" Sora said. "Let me translate that into Roxas speak." He paused for a moment, and I imagined him scratching at his chin, expression determined as if he had to think real hard about the answer. "Got it! Work sucked."

"And we have a winner." My lips quirked as Sora let out a whoop. Opening the cupboard above the stove, I grabbed the only edible substance in my entire kitchen: a package of Ramen noodles. Sora was my saving grace in a lot of ways, not the least of which was that he single-handedly kept my cupboards stocked with food by either gentle reminders or forceful shopping trips.

"Mmm-hmm, I know..." There was more background noise, another garbled question posed by someone and my brother grunting in what I assumed was approval. "I know my brother. I surely do! And because I know that knuckle-head so well, I'm certain something, no matter how insignificant, happened that is worth mentioning. Especially, since I'm in desperate need of distraction."

A spluttering protest sounded out before voices became muffled. Wedging the phone between my cheek and shoulder, I grabbed a pan from atop my stove, filled it with water and turned the burner on. "Okay, you got me," I said, once the noises on the other end of the line ceased. "Something did happen today."

"Ha! Tell me!"

"Cid introduced us to a few members of the team." My stomach churned, and not just from near starvation, as unwelcome visions of facial tattoos and bright orange baseball jerseys flashed before my eyes. Ripping open the package of noodles and almost knocking my toaster to the floor, I heaved a sigh and focused on the rumble of my brother's voice.

"Of course, the one day I'm not there, everything happens," Sora said, and I just knew he was pouting. "Why does the world hate me so?"

"Because you don't know how to brush your teeth."

"I'll have you know that I have zero cavities, my dear brother. Zilch. Nada!" I watched the pan for a moment, willing the water inside to boil, as my brother continued his tirade. "It was a routine dentist check-up, Roxy, and I do not appreciate the assumption that my teeth are anything but glorious! Perfect, even! You kno-"

"You didn't miss anything," I said, cutting my brother's words short. The water had begun bubbling, so I dumped the entire package of noodles into the pan. "Unless you count Marluxia lusting after Kairi."

"Marluxia and Ka-!?" The shout died in Sora's throat, then there was a high-pitched screech in the background and what sounded like silverware clattering to a tiled floor. Just what the hell was going on over there? "I knew there was something you weren't telling me, Kairi!"

Kairi. Of course. I should have known.

The two of them bickered back and forth for a minute, voices once again muffled, as I set out on a quest to find a bowl for my soup. Dishes were stacked a mile high in my sink, and I wasn't about to climb that mountain, so I settled for eating directly from the pan.

"Ahem," Sora's voice crackled in my ear again. "Sorry about that small interruption."

"Kairi's there." It wasn't a question, but Sora hmm'd in response. I couldn't stop myself from wondering just what the girl had told my brother about our meeting with the team. Sora would never be the first to mention it, but I was certain he'd been filled in on every last detail of my public humiliation. "Naminé was pretty upset about the whole thing."

"Ha, yeah. Well, that girl's got it bad," Sora said. "Kairi says it was nothing, though. She'll clear it up on Monday."

"Oh." I dug a spoon out from the bottom of my silverware drawer and stood for a moment, considering the consequences of dumping the entire pan of unappetizing soup in the trash and just going to bed hungry.

"I'm still bummed I missed such an exciting day." Sora's voice pulled me back, and I stepped over to the stove.

"It wasn't exciting," I said, slurping a few spoonfuls of noodles before setting the pan off to the side. "And you'd be bummed even if it you missed yet another boring-as-shit day at the lovely Twilight Town Stadium."

"It's a good job, Roxas." Sora said, voice lacking any of the merriment it held moments before, and my throat tightened. I didn't want the conversation veering down roads I could not, and would not, travel. My brother sighed, sounding for all the world like he was tired of my shit. And who could blame him?

"Just, maybe... try to appreciate it? Huh? I promise you, baby brother, things are not as bad as they seem."

Finger hovering over 'end call' button, I blinked away the sting behind my eyes. "Sure, Sora," I croaked out, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Well, Roxy, I really should be hanging up. Kairi will execute me if I let this ice cream cone melt and drip all over the carpet," Sora said, tone cheerful and previous conversation all but forgotten as my head rested against the cupboards with a heavy thump. "Maybe we'll do something this weekend while the team is out of town?"

"Maybe." There hadn't been any intention on my part to face the world for the next three days. I knew it. Sora knew it. We'd been there, done that so many times before, but it didn't stop him from asking, which was more than could be said for most people in my life.

"I love you."

Sora never gave up on me. Even when I'd given up on myself.

"I know."