Graduation

For some time, I've always wanted to write a scene where the Pharaoh gets insanely drunk off his royal tush. Tragically, I didn't have a plot bunny to go with the scene...until now. Dun Dun Duuuuuunnn! Mwahahahaha! XD

Note: for the sake of this fic, the Pharaoh and the Thief King have their own bodies (though I do have to admit that it would be funny seeing the Pharaoh get drunk, only it's Yugi's body)

He also may be a bit OOC... probably, along with the Thief King as well. X)

XXXXXXXXXXX

Atem was bored, very bored, just like everyone else in the auditorium that was sitting there waiting for that thirty second blip when their child's/friend's/ some-distant-relative-you-never-hang-with's name was called.

Thus, the agonizing torture of graduation.

He groaned,tempted to start a Shadow Game with a random bystander, just so he had something to do. But seeing how that might pose a logistical issue, he decided against it. Besides it was much more fun to play a Shadow Game with the Thief King.

His friends were holding their graduation ceremony today and he had been invited by Yugi to come watch, though after hearing the horror stories about graduation, he pretty much had to be bribed with a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies. And here he was, tapping his fingers on the plastic arm of his chair, just waiting for the Ra-cursed thing to be over with. Maybe Anubis would take pity on him and grant him a swift death. He paused, eyes anxiously scanning the heavens.

Nope nothing. Guess not. Looks like he was going to have to wait a while. Or maybe the god was busy. He'll just have to keep checking.

He was sitting in the stands with Mai, Serenity Yugi's granfather and the Thief King Bakura (why Ryou had to invite him, Atem didn't know). In order to keep the two spirits from ripping each other's throats out, or starting a Shadow Game right then and there in the auditorium, Mai and Serenity sat between the two, acting as a human barrier.

Atem looked down at the graduates, trying to find his friends. Tea, who was salutatorian, was sitting next to the principal, the superintendent, and all of those important people (whom the Pharaoh didn't really care about). Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Duke and Ryou were easy to pick out as well. Poor Yugi had issues with that graduation hat he was forced to wear (could anyone NOT see that making the kid wear it was going to be physically impossible? Atem wondered.)

Then 'Pomp and Circumstance' started playing, the tape recording sounding very old. The speeches started- all of them going into one ear and out the other-, and finally it was the time to hand out the diplomas.

"Thank Ra," he muttered.

"No kidding," Mai replied. "This is why I absolutely hate going to these things. Joey and the others practically dragged me to this thing."

"I'm bored," the Thief King complained. "Can I go rob the concession stand now? Nobody's going to catch me."

"Oh how the mighty hath fallen. Really Bakura? A concession stand?" The Pharaoh joked.

"You know, if it weren't for these two people here, I would have stabbed you in the jugular right about now." Bakura growled.

"Hey guys cool it," Serenity warned. "Other people are trying to watch this you know."

The two slunk down in their seats, glaring daggers at each other.

After about an hour—which really felt like an eternity according to Atem—the majority of their friends had received their diplomas. Joey was up next, but as he was walking up the stairs to the platform, he tripped, making a face plant with the metal stairs.

"Brilliant," Mai groaned, her face in her hands.

"How about we pretend we don't know him?" Atem suggested.

"Even more brilliant."

"Hey, if you're going to pretend that you don't know him, think I could have a shot?" some kid behind Mai asked.

In a single smooth gesture, Mai raised one arm up, flipping the kid off. The Pharaoh snickered. "Burn!"

"That was well executed, if I do say so myself," Bakura admitted, nodding.

"What are you trying to sound like now, British?" The Pharaoh jibbed.

"Um, hello? My host is freaking British you ignorant son of a one testicled jackal!"

Serenity sighed, wondering if it was too late to move seats.

And to all of their relief, the ceremony was finally over. Their friends waited for them outside.

"Man, that had to be the most boring thing ever!" Joey remarked, stretching.

"Yes, until you kissed the stairs." Mai pointed out.

"For my defense, that stinking robe was way too long! I kept telling them that!"

"Uh-huh, sure," Mai said, rolling her eyes.

"Let's just go to Yugi's house for the party, okay?" Joey sulked all the way there.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The party was pretty mild, just them hanging around, Joey and Tristan wolfing down on the food placed out. However, the Pharaoh and the Thief King were nowhere to be found.

"Huh, I wonder where Bakura and Atem went," Ryou wondered.

"Hopefully not at each others throats," Yugi said. "Does anyone know how long they've been gone?"

"About a half-hour I think, maybe more," Joey said or at least that's what they thought he said through a mouthful of guacamole and tortilla chip.

"Somebody's hiding the corpse then, if they're that long," Duke remarked. "My money's on the Pharaoh."

"Seconded."

"Thirded."

"Joey, that's not a word."

"Ah, shut it Duke."

Just then, the door of the game shop flew dramatically opened and the Pharaoh and Bakura sauntered in, their eyes looking slightly bloodshot.

"Oh thank goodness you're alright Atem!" Yugi said, relieved. "Where on earth have you been?"

"Enjoying the fruit of humanity," Atem's words were a little slurred.

Joey's eyes widened with shock. "Atem. Are you drunk?"

Atem blinked owlishly and replied, "I swear to drunk I'm not Ra."

Mai nodded. "Yep, the guy is definitely drunk."

Bakura sniggered; he too was drunk. "You sir," he pointed to Atem. "Are drunk."

"And so are you Bakura."

"This is going to be an entertaining night," Joey quipped.

"Maybe I should go home now," Tea said.

"And miss the fun?" Duke wrapped his am around her shoulders. "I'm staying to see this and you should too."

"Whatever."

Yugi turned to the two spirits. "How on earth did you guys get drunk in the first place?-"

"It's called drinking my short little friend," Bakura answered, patting Yugi, swaying slightly in the process.

"-And second, how were you guys able to even buy the alcohol in the first place?"

"Did you know that penalty games on convenience store owners are immensely entertaining?" Atem slurred.

"You did a PENALTY GAME! On a convenience store owner! Bad Pharaoh!"

"You know," Joey whispered to Yugi. "I think these two guys are featherweights. They can't hold it at all."

"Actually Joey, the ancient Egyptians had their own breweries and stomped grapes into wine."

"Man it's even worse than I thought."

Meanwhile, the Pharaoh had sashayed (yes he did pretty much sashayed) over to where the majority of the group was sitting.

"Hey I'm in the mood to play a game. How about 'Strip Poker'? Or better yet, 'Strip Duel Monsters'?"

Tea turned to Duke. "See, this is why I should have gone home."

"I do like the idea of a 'Strip Shadow Game'." The Thief King offered.

"Who asked you, you fruity limey? Heh heh, 'fruity'? Limey? Anybody get it?"

"Yes."

"I said shut it. Actually, Ra screw playing a game, I'll just strip. I pretty much ran around naked in Egypt anyways. How you people can stand wearing clothes, it's beyond me-" He began to unbutton his shirt.

Yugi practically flew across the room. "Atem, NO!"

Mai shielded Serenity's eyes. "Don't look hun." Then she covered her own.

Fortunately for the girls, Yugi managed to stop Atem from stripping right then and there in the living room. "Um, sorry about that. Maybe you guys should go home. I'll try to keep an eye on Atem."

"Yes, yes. Very good idea. Come on Thief King, let's go home." Ryou was shoving Bakura out the door. The others followed suit, Joey chuckling to himself the whole way. Seeing the Pharaoh completely plastered was too much for him. He'd never let him down.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Atem woke up the next morning with the world's worst headache, his temples and everything else throbbing like the dickens. "I need some medicine," he said to himself. He made his way down the stairs, every little noise like a jackhammer against his skull. He had no idea what had happened the night before. All he could remember was the Thief King complaining that the party was boring and asked if the Pharaoh wanted to join him in the quest for find something to do. He remembered nothing after that.

He stepped into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, trying to block out the light. It seemed that light was painful as well.

He was then confronted by an unusual sight in the kitchen. He scratched his head in mild confusion, then shouted up the stairs.

"Yugi, why in Osiris's name is there a unicycle in the kitchen? And why does my head hurt so bloody bad?"

XXXXXXXXXXX

There, my need to write the Pharaoh drunk has been satisfied lol. And for those of you who are wondering, yes, that was exactly how my graduation went. Being in the top ten percent in a class of nearly five hundred is not the brightest of ideas. You get really bored, really quick. Trust me on that one.

Dedicated to all you high school graduates, new and old, out there. W00T! On to the sucky real world! Class of '09!