Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or its characters.

Last time: "There is another you," Spretnol said bluntly. "He melded with your Captain, on the ice world. He saved the Captain's life there. Imagine the shock of the attack on Vulcan, coupled with seeing Jim, young and so alive! His mental shields, well-honed as they were, had no chance. Of course the memories leaked through, of his own Jim…" Spretnol's voice trailed off and his face appeared to be flushed.

"Spretnol! Are you well?" Spock asked, concerned.

Spretnol shook his head and scrunched up his eyes, seemingly in an attempt to return to himself. "My apologies, Mr. Spock. To answer your query, no. I am not well. Please forgive me for my words, my tone. It is the Pa'nar Syndrome. I am not in my right mind, and my logic has left me. Please let me meditate."

Spock stared at the boy for a long moment. "Very well."

Spretnol hastily exited the sickbay, leaving a very confused Vulcan in his wake.

Spock's eyes never left the Captain as he scrutinized Spretnol's words over and over in his head. Were his older counterpart and the alternate timeline's Captain t'hy'la? If so, did the potential exist in the current timeline? This seemed completely improbable to Spock, especially with Jim laid out in front of him in the grips of the Pa'nar Syndrome. Spock knew that his suggestion to meld with Jim had been a rushed, emotional response to the situation. He felt a need to act, based on nothing but his own urges. His people would probably call it a compulsion, based as it was on feelings, rather than logic. And yet… his mother. Was she not "his people" too? He could recall, on numerous occasions, his mother looking at him warmly and encouraging him to follow his heart. Spock, as a child, had been confused by this. At these times, his father would smile indulgently at his mother, as if she was a small child, then cast a stern eye toward Spock, effectively dissuading him from giving any additional thought to his mother's odd words.

Standing now in front of Jim's prone body, however, Spock found his thoughts turning ever more strongly toward Amanda. How he regretted not being able to save her! Logically, he knew that he did everything he could. And perhaps this was his sticking point now, in this situation with Jim. By standing idly by without even attempting a meld, he knew with complete certainty that, should Jim die from Pa'nar Syndrome, he would always regret not trying the meld. Almost of their own accord, his fingertips found the proper meld points on Jim's face, and he was in.

The entry into Jim's mind was disorienting and, Spock knew, ill-advised. Spock tried to ground himself to some shared memory, as was customary, but felt his presence being pulled in a very particular direction. Spock could hear the thoughts before he could see the memory. Jim's words were vulgar and harsh. He seemed to be antagonizing someone, but Spock could not understand the context. And then, all too suddenly, there Spock was, watching it all unfold in front of him. The throne room of Governor Kodos of Tarsus IV, he instinctively knew. Jim, pinned to the floor. And, sickeningly, an older boy on top of him. Jim's emotions washed over Spock. He could viscerally feel Jim's pain, anger, and humiliation, but most disturbing of all was Jim's cold, purposeful detachment as the older boy had his way with him.

Think about the other kids.

We all need the food.

Make him think you want this. Get him to tell you where Kodos is.

"Dammit, Spock." Spock whirled around to see his own, adult Jim standing next to him. He looked weary and was clad in his black long-sleeved undershirt and standard issue Starfleet trousers. Despite Jim's words, his voice was soft. "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be seeing this."

And in the next breath, "What's wrong with me?"

Spock looked at Jim earnestly. "Jim, let us leave this place, this memory. It would be helpful if we could go to a memory we both share, a pleasant one."

Jim nodded. Quite suddenly, Spock was watching… himself. He looked at Jim questioningly. "This is the day – "

"That you stopped being an ass and joined my crew," Jim said lightly. "Figured if we were going for shared memories, I'd pick a favorite."

Something in Spock eased. "A very fine memory indeed, Captain."

Jim looked Spock full in the eyes. "You're in my head, Spock. Might as well call me Jim." As the men's shared memory of their first "official" day of duties on the Enterprise played out behind them, Spock gathered his thoughts and pondered how best to explain to Jim what had occurred, and what the plan of action would be.

"So… " Jim said, cocking his head toward Spock. "How fucked am I?"

Spock cleared his throat. "I cannot lie to you... Jim. The situation is not ideal."

Jim scoffed. "I have a feeling that's a major understatement, Spock. I know I'm not awake right now, and the longer I stay," he waved his hand around, "wherever this is, the more confused I get." Jim bit his lip. "And that's not the worst of it…"

Spock looked around, instantly noticing that their surroundings had changed. Instead of the pristine, gleaming bridge of the Enterprise, Spock found himself staring at Spretnol, locked in a too-small cage, screaming in agony as Lenore's thug began slicing through the skin of his toe with a dull blade. Spock winced.

"How do I remember this, Spock? This isn't my memory; this never happened to me..." Jim's voice trailed off. "Ninety percent sure, anyway, that I wasn't there and didn't have anything to do with this. I hope."

"You had nothing to do with this, Jim," Spock said forcefully. "This is something that was done to you by a very ill, very vengeful woman. How much do you recall?"

"I know it was Lenore," Jim said with certainty. Jim looked tired as he eyed Spock. "When you first… I don't even know what to call it. Came into my brain?"

Spock stared at Jim as Jim fought back a smile. "What is humorous, Captain?"

"It sounds dirty, is all." Jim shrugged. "Anyway, when you first got in my head, I was focusing on a really, really nasty part of my childhood. Then you appeared." Jim looked at Spock. "I hate that you saw what you saw, but at the same time, you appearing when you did is the only reason I'm not still stuck in that memory, so thank you."

"You are most welcome, Captain." Spock breathed deeply. "Outside of here, Jim, you are not well."

"Give it to me straight, Spock." Jim listened raptly as Spock recounted the manner in which Lenore had attacked him. Spock provided details on the condition of McCoy and Uhura, and also relayed the circumstances under which Spretnol had been kidnapped and pressed into service.

"So he's the one I've been seeing," murmured Jim.

"Indeed, Captain." Spock cast a solemn glance Jim's way. He knew that he had to explain the Pa'nar Syndrome to Jim, and he feared Jim's reaction. "I am afraid that there is an additional complication. Prior to melding, Vulcans receive intense training. If one melds without proper training, one runs the risk of transmitting the Pa'nar Syndrome. Spretnol was not of age, and, regrettably, both Spretnol and you, Captain, have contracted the Pa'nar Syndrome." Noting Jim's confused expression, Spock continued his explanation. "It is a degenerative neurological condition that, without treatment, is... fatal." Spock was ashamed to note the tremor in his own voice as he revealed the potential consequences to Jim. "As we speak, we are currently en route to New Vulcan, where mind healers are ready to receive us as soon as we arrive."

Jim's brow was heavily furrowed. "So if this Pa'nar Syndrome can be transmitted through melding, how are you here?"

"Given our limited options, this appeared to be the only available strategy that may still help to prolong your life."

"Dammit, Spock!" Jim muttered disapprovingly.

"It is unlikely that I will be affected to the same extent, given my half-Vulcan physiology." Seeming to read Jim's mind, Spock continued. "This is also the reason I am currently melding with you, rather than Spretnol. He is better able to withstand the effects of the Pa'nar Sydrome, being Vulcan."

Jim glared at Spock. "I don't like it, Spock. I don't like that you've risked yourself to meld with me."

Spock straightened. "Part of the duty of a First Officer is to protect his Captain." Spock noticed Jim stiffen at the mention of the word "duty." "It is fortunate that my Vulcan background affords me a unique manner in which to counter Lenore's mental attack."

"That's one way of looking at it," said Jim wryly.

"Without further ado, Captain, I shall attempt to bring us both out of the meld and back to our respective physical bodies. Do I have your permission to attempt a mutual exit from the meld?"

"Yeah, of course Spock," Jim said quickly. He took steady breaths as he prepared to transition out of the meld, as he had in the past with Spock's older counterpart. Jim waited.

And waited.

"Um, Spock?" he finally said, almost timidly.

Spock's voice was grave. "I am sorry, Jim, but I regret to inform you that we will be cohabiting your mind for the foreseeable future."

Thank you for reading! There is more to come! - AE