I would give you an excuse as to why this is so late, but I have none considering this story has been written for nearly three years. Heh.

This week's topic: Alice's life as a psychic, as requested by JustcallmeRiley.

#1 - The first time Alice truly hated her visions was when her grandmother passed away. She foresaw it and tried to warn her, but it was to no avail. Her grandmother was killed in a car accident in the very snowy day that Alice had warned her about. Since, her step-father has done his best to hide his loathing.

#2 - When she was younger, Alice frequently went up to strangers and asked them questions about what she did not know were their futures at the time. Most were befuddled and could not answer her questions, but they were taken in by the adorableness and were later surprised to find that what the little girl had said was happening.

#3 - Although Alice cannot have visions while awake, she still sometimes just 'knows' things without the help of any outside source. Often, she doesn't realize this until she says something like, "x team is going to win," and wonders why she feels so certain. She much prefers this to the catastrophe that is her getting a headache and being knocked out just to have some confusing vision.

Insomnia

Chapter 22

Jasper wasn't at school the next week. When I asked Emmett where he was on Thursday, he hesitated a moment before answering with a simple, "Hunting." I had been skeptical of that - what kind of hunting trip took that long?

I was patient, though. I could understand why he wouldn't want to be around humans so soon after feeding on one. The thought that he had actually drank from an innocent girl still disturbed me somewhat, but the way Edward had explained it to me afterwards had given me at least some insight as to why he had. Vampires were like sharks, he had said - they found it almost impossible to resist freely flowing blood, and, once they got a taste for it, they lost themselves in their thirst. They didn't think rationally.

It was the second Monday that my patience finally ran out. I was honestly debating whether or not to storm over there and drag him to school myself, or at least talk to him, something I hadn't done since the accident.

He couldn't hide forever.

I'd learned that the hard way.

Sighing, I hitched my bag farther up my shoulder as I cut through the parking lot. I felt a hand touch my shoulder as I was about to step onto the marshy grass, and, upon turning around, was surprised to find Edward standing behind me. I narrowed my eyes - none of the Cullens had spoken to me since the day after Whitney's death, excluding Emmett. To what did I owe this honor?

"Jasper's staying behind while the rest of us go hunting tonight," he said. "You might be able to get your answers then."

I made a big show of glancing around me. "Oh, were you talking to me? I exist again, then, do I?"

Edward looked as though he would have liked to have responded, but he simply turned around and returned to Bella's side. Her gaze lingered on me as Edward tugged her lightly after him and towards Rosalie's waiting BMW. I glared after them.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," I muttered to myself, kicking a stone into a nearby puddle as I resumed my journey home, gritting my teeth against the chilly late-January air.

All night I was distracted. Apparently, my divided attention was obvious, for Aunt Kathy asked me several times if I was feeling alright. I'd robotically bobbed my head, my thoughts still going in circles as I tried to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to Jasper, having resolved to take up Edward's suggestion.

At about eight-thirty, I slipped into the kitchen where my aunt was busy preparing the twins' lunches for tomorrow.

"Aunt Kathy?" I asked. She started slightly, having not heard me come in.

"You're so quiet," she said, shaking her head. "What can I do for you, Alice?"

Even after living with the Webers for almost half of a year, I still felt shy asking for permission to do things like I would a parent.

"Would you mind if I went out for a while in a few minutes? It's sort of important," I hinted.

She thought for a moment. "You're a responsible girl," she eventually said. "I suppose, as long as you're back by ten."

I shot her a grateful grin before spinning around and skipping out the door, calling a cheerful, "Thanks!"

Still shrugging into my jacket, I pried open the front door, which squeaked loudly in protest, and headed out into the freezing winter night. As I picked my way through the dense forest, trying desperately not to get my ankle caught in the undergrowth, I continued to try and work out what I was going to say. It would be just like me to get to the Cullens' house and freeze up, having no idea what my intent was.

What was my intent? I wanted answers, but I wasn't sure what about. My stomach twisted into knots at the thought of speaking to Jasper, and, halfway there, I almost turned back for fear that I would say something to screw everything up even moreso than it already was. Maybe things could just mend themselves on their own.

I had a feeling that I would have to be more than slightly insane to believe that.

Running an anxious hand through my hair, I turned onto the Cullens' drive, feeling a twinge of triumph at having gotten there without getting lost even once on the way. I suppose that came from my following the markers Jasper and I had put on the trees just two weeks ago to keep my terrible sense of direction from causing me to end up on the Canadian border.

After taking a deep breath, I climbed the front steps of the house and rapped my fist against the polished wooden door several times. There was no response. I rolled my eyes and stood impatiently for a moment, giving Jasper a chance to stop being a wuss and open the door.

When nothing happened, I knocked on the door again, harder and louder this time, my faded patience making its grand appearance.

Still nothing.

"Open the damn door, Jasper!" I called. "I know you're home!"

Moments later, the light in the front foyer flickered on and the door swung open. I was slightly startled to find that Jasper's eyes were still red, though darker and tinted with orange. I had grown so used to the soft gold they usually were, the red was a shock.

"What?" he asked, avoiding my gaze.

I tried not to feel hurt by the curtness of his question. Couldn't he have at least looked at me? "I needed to talk to you," I said.

He continued to stare determinedly at something over my shoulder. "Fine, then. Talk."

I crossed my arms. "I'm not saying anything until you at least look at me."

"No."

"Why?"

Jasper's eyes clouded with misery. "Because," he said, "I can't look at you and know that I tried to kill you." Suddenly, his eyes were boring into mine. Well, that was sort of contradictory. "Why can't you grasp how dangerous I am to you? Wasn't me trying to rip your throat out enough of a reason to stay away from me?"

I felt my eyes widen at the sudden intensity of his words, the fury burning in his gaze. "Because I trust you."

"Don't," he practically snarled. I almost flinched, but caught myself at the last moment. "I'm never going to change from what I was. I've always been a monster, and I always will be. One day, my family won't be there to stop me, to save you, and something will go wrong."

I could practically feel myself shrinking at the way he referred to me, like I was some sort of burden that needed to be dealt with.

"You were fine up until Whitney's attack," I pointed out, forcing my voice to stay strong. "You seem to do just fine in a classroom teeming with life. That was an accident.You were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"And what if I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time again someday? What if you get a paper cut, and I can't even control myself then?" Jasper demanded, disgust coloring his tone. I was almost afraid of him - I'd never seen him this angry about something, not even as he struggled to get past his brother and to my blood.

His anger only managed to reflect onto me, and I soon felt my hands balling up into fists, my eyes slits as I glared at him.

"You can't just run away from your problems."

Jasper scoffed. "You seem to be doing that well enough."

Something inside of me snapped, then. How dare he bring that up? He didn't even knowwhat had happened in Biloxi, and I was far from running away from my problems - I didn't even have a home there anymore. How dare he?

"I'm not running away from my problems," I hissed. "My father kicked me out, you absolute idiot. I didn't have anywhere else to go but away. But you - you have options, and you're being a coward. Maybe you would be better at resisting human blood if you gave yourself a freaking chance! But no, you're determined to see yourself as - oh, boo hoo! - some terrible monster whose problems couldn't possibly be self-inflicted."

He returned my glare, his eyes glinting coldly. "Maybe I don't want to give myself a chance. Some sick part of me gets enjoyment out of tasting human blood. I could easilykill you right now and not even feel remorse until hours later."

My left hand throbbed as though it would have liked to raise itself and find some way to injure him. I knew any attempt at such would be futile - I'd just end up in an emergency room with a broken hand, which would have brought on a whole new round of problems.

Not that it mattered to him.

"Well then, I'll just stay out of your way from now on." My voice was steely. "Then we won't have to worry anymore, will we?"

Nothing seemed right from that moment on. Up was down, and left was right.

For the first day, I couldn't even utter more than three sentences at a time without breaking down in tears. Mrs. Weber let me stay home that day, despite the fact that she hadn't any idea what was wrong with me. Angela had simply squeezed me into a hug, murmuring something encouraging in my ear. I had been too miserable to say anything back, or even thank her for putting up with me.

I was pathetic. I merely sat on my bed all day, glaring at things, crying, and wishing that I could sleep for the next week and escape the emotional train wreck that I had turned into. Maybe Jasper had been right - I did run away from my problems, or at least dreamed about trying. I wanted nothing more than to just curl into a ball and disappear.

Things would get better, I told myself again and again, no matter how much my emotions said otherwise.

Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to get over Jasper any time soon, not by any miracle. He was almost a part of me - ever since my earliest dreams of him up until now, three years later, he had always been important to me. I'd had so long to grow to care for him, to love him, and he had been a constant in my life even before I'd met him. And now there was the prospect that he would just be gone, and I didn't know what I would do without him. He'd helped me so much in finding even just a small fraction of me again, and now, with him gone, I was terrified that I might slip back into my old ways. It would be only too easy.

Somehow, I would have to manage without him.

And I did.

For the next six weeks, I survived. I went to school, I did my schoolwork as well as I could, and, for the first time in my life, I felt completely and utterly normal. I didn't have to worry about getting a paper cut or hanging out with vampires, a danger factor I had just gotten used to when I was in the company of the Cullens.

Oh, and I didn't have to worry about my visions.

They had gone away, too.

That terrified me. I remembered a time where I would have been thrilled that they were gone, ecstatic, but now, rather than simply putting up with my insomnia as usual, I found myself trying to keep my panic at bay. What had gone wrong inside of me? I had alwayshad visions - I couldn't have just simply outgrown them. They were so much a part of me that I felt lost without them, knowing that there was a chance they would never come back. It was almost like life was determined to rip everything away from me: my family, Jasper, and now my visions...

Nothing was right. Nothing was permanent. It was almost like living in a tornado, everything whipped around, ripped away just when you thought it was safe.

Still, I managed to put on a brave face and act. My friends didn't know anything was wrong, none except Angela - they just saw my fake smiles and heard the sound of my laughter. To them, that meant I was okay. I almost believed it, too, during the day when I was caught up in the hustle and bustle of school and my social life.

That was, until something reminded me of everything that I had lost. Every so often I would catch one of the Cullens looking at me, their eyes filled with pity and something that looked almost like longing. It was always harder, then.

All of them had acknowledged my existence, reminding me that everything that had happened over the past few months hadn't just been a fantasy.

All of them except Jasper.

All of them except the one I needed the most.